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  #1  
Old 07-29-2008, 05:38 PM
Otto Otto is offline
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Fuck you, you fucking piece of HP shit!

I've gone for years without a printer. I never print anything from home. I wouldn't even HAVE this piece of HP shit if it weren't free with the purchase of my new computer. It's been sitting in the box for two months because I don't have any use for it.

But hey, it's also a scanner! There's some things I'd like to scan! Let's go ahead and hook it up and start scanning.

Except, wait. I can't scan or do anything else because the printer isn't detecting any cartridges. Apparently I'm too much of an idiot to figure out how to put them in, even though it LOOKS just like the crappy picture in the shitty manual. And until the printer can detect cartridges, I can't do shit with it.

Fuck you, HP leftover twat-dripping designers, for rendering this piece of shit dependent on the cartridges to do anything. What the fuck business is it of yours to decide that if I don't need or want the print function then I can't have any of the other functions?
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  #2  
Old 07-29-2008, 06:24 PM
spinky spinky is online now
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2008, 07:17 PM
AuntiePam AuntiePam is offline
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Otto, if your HP printer/scanner is anything like mine, those cartridges need a heavy hand. Every time I load one, I'm sure something will break when I snap that piece of plastic down. And if you don't get it snapped all the way down, you'll hear the gawdafullest noise when the cartridge moves and the plastic gets caught on the doohickey.

Advice your mother would never give you: Don't be gentle.
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  #4  
Old 07-29-2008, 07:29 PM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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It's not a printer. It's an HP ink sales location, conveniently located in your home. I will never buy another HP printer again. Their software is bloated and their ink is overpriced. Brother makes decent printers, and I'm going to stick with them as long as they don't turn into HP.
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  #5  
Old 07-29-2008, 07:36 PM
Beware of Doug Beware of Doug is offline
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Stankass HP printers. Fuck 'em.

I had one with my Mac several years ago. I had to use some halfass software patch that meant having to put the thing on a friggn network, yes, a network consisting of one printer and one computer, and even then the fucker never did work right half the time. After the 10,000th page of nothing but @#%^@&$^(()*^*&%*^$#@@@%%%% on the first line and the rest blank, next page same thing, repeat ad nauseam, I was ready to hop a transcontinental flight and shove it broadside up Carly Fiorina's hoo-ha.

Then I got an Epson Stylus. I felt much, much better immediately.
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Old 07-29-2008, 08:41 PM
MisterThyristor MisterThyristor is offline
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Otto, make sure you remove the tape from the cartriges, before you put them in. This seems to be the problem with most people who use an ink-jet printer for the first time. I don't think much of ink-jet printers in general, laser printers are much cheaper in the long run due to the higher cost of ink rather than toner. But I use mine all the time for scanning, faxing, along with the rare occasion that I need to print in color. It's also handy that it can be used as a copier with the computer turned off.

HP has worked pretty well for me, as far as printers go, I've tried a few other brands and usually end up coming back to HP.
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  #7  
Old 07-30-2008, 01:44 AM
Full Metal Lotus Full Metal Lotus is offline
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I got tired of payinmg more for a refill set for the printer than I did for the printers with a number of brands. So, I got me a good quality B/W laser printer for correspondance, and got an acct with a local photo service that provides me with better quality colour out put , in much larger sizes than I would ever be able to do on my own with out spending $$$$.

The B/W I use for correspoindance and drafts for clients, the colour out put from the service is cheap and they will drop ship for me. Typical charge for a 4ftX2ft full colour on quality paper is less than $40.

So far its been great and I will never buy a colour printer again.. (or at least until they offer a super large format that is cheap to refill, and compatible with my computer for less than it costs me to use the service)..

FML
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  #8  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:14 AM
Otto Otto is offline
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Tape is off the cartridges and I did everything short of hitting them with a hammer to try to drive the damned cartridges in.

I don't give a rat's ass how expensive the replacement cartridges are because I have no plans of using the printer function. I haven't had a working printer for probably five years and I haven't missed it. The only time I've felt the urge to print anything in that time was a set of Mapquest instructions and it was just as easy to write them down.

What I'm pissed about is that unless the cartridges are installed, the other functions (scanner, fax, copier although I don't care about that) won't work. The absence of the cartridge renders the entire unit useless. It's a stupid design.
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  #9  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:42 AM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto
It's a stupid design.
Wrong Otto It's an evil design.

Gaffa had it right. Its purpose is not to print, not to scan, but to sell you ink cartridges that dry out or drip out in 4 weeks or 35 pages whichever comes first.

I try to avoid buying an HP ANYTHING because of their printers. No computer, no laptops. ANYTHING by HP is shit by association with their printers.

I'm soon to have the same rule for Canon as their printer cartridges last longer but have circuit chips on them so that you can't use after market ink supplies or refill kits.
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  #10  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:58 AM
chowder chowder is offline
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Originally Posted by MisterThyristor
Otto

HP has worked pretty well for me, as far as printers go, I've tried a few other brands and usually end up coming back to HP.
And me.

I used to have an Epson and believe me those are the suckiest suckers ever to suck
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  #11  
Old 07-30-2008, 10:00 AM
Bookkeeper Bookkeeper is offline
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Even if you do get it working for scanning purposes, it will probably run a "cleaning cycle" periodically when turned on/off, each of which uses a small amount of ink, so it will stop working again when the cartridge is empty.
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  #12  
Old 07-30-2008, 10:15 AM
asterion asterion is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beware of Doug
I had one with my Mac several years ago. I had to use some halfass software patch that meant having to put the thing on a friggn network, yes, a network consisting of one printer and one computer, and even then the fucker never did work right half the time. After the 10,000th page of nothing but @#%^@&$^(()*^*&%*^$#@@@%%%% on the first line and the rest blank, next page same thing, repeat ad nauseam, I was ready to hop a transcontinental flight and shove it broadside up Carly Fiorina's hoo-ha.
Run HP into the ground (not that that seems all that hard considering the crap products they make) and get talked about potential VP candidacy. I'm in the wrong line of work.

Thank god for the Agilent spinoff in 1999. I can't imagine how bad those products would be if they were still part of HP.
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  #13  
Old 07-30-2008, 01:32 PM
Snickers Snickers is offline
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What does that even mean??!!!
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  #14  
Old 07-30-2008, 02:43 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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I have an $2000 HP printer that is the world's heaviest paperweight. It is an oversized photo printer, which cannot accommodate any known brand of photo paper, including HP's. It is 40 inches long and weighs more than I can lift. If I could carry it to the trash, I would. If I could afford to send it back to HP, in pieces, I would.

I have to get a new printer soon. It will be anything but an HP.
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  #15  
Old 07-30-2008, 02:59 PM
Yeticus Rex Yeticus Rex is offline
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I was gonna seriously defend HP's honor here until I found out were talking printers instead of calculators......such as my HP-15C, still being used almost daily since 1982.

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled pitting......

Fuckin' Piece O'Shit HP printers!
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  #16  
Old 07-30-2008, 03:04 PM
MikeG MikeG is online now
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The thing that really pissed me off about the HP all in one that I had in my office was that you could not use the printer with just a black cartridge in it. Even if you were only printing b/W you HAD to have a colour cartridge installed and it had to have ink in it! ( I tried putting the empty one in) It would NOT print, scan, or fax! I spent an hour with HP tech support till I found someone with the brains (or balls) to admit this "design feature"/

What a blatant money grab!
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  #17  
Old 07-30-2008, 03:34 PM
Karen Lingel Karen Lingel is offline
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Oooh, I want in on this. I hate HP crud too.
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  #18  
Old 07-30-2008, 03:48 PM
zenith zenith is offline
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Other than the overbloated software package that I don't use most of, but that had to be fully installed(no express install of just what you need to do basic document print/scan/copy,you need to load the poor excuse for Picasa/photoshop,too), no problems with my HP.

I've not replaced the color cartridge in 3 years and have replaced the black one once.

You want a BAD printer, try Lexmark. Cartridges twice the price of HP's that last 1/2 as long, frequent jams, "paper out" warnings if you don't have 20+ sheets of paper in the tray.

Of course, I print my photos @ Walgreens or Sam's Club, so if you do pictures a lot on your HP, maybe it is an ink hog.
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  #19  
Old 07-30-2008, 04:58 PM
DoctorJ DoctorJ is offline
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So, serious question: who is making a printer these days that isn't a piece of shit? I need a new one.
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  #20  
Old 07-30-2008, 08:24 PM
Harmonious Discord Harmonious Discord is offline
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HP hasn't had anything past the front door of this house in over a decade. Out of all the computer stuff I owned none have died and failed and had terrible support except for two HP printers, and a HP computer that had bad graphic drivers for over 6 months before they fix it. The printers both had their striped gear belt problem, with a one hour toll call to get return authorization. They didn't have an 800 number for their warranty repairs at the time.

It's really stupid that a combination scanner printer won't scan without cartridges. It's what I expect from a HP product. I truly would have just taken it to Goodwill without opening it.
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  #21  
Old 07-30-2008, 11:27 PM
Joey P Joey P is online now
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A few months back I started this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/....php?t=466538& about my MIL's piece o' crap HP C7200. It's garbage. I'm kicking myself for helping her pick it out, she's gotta be kicking herself harder for not returning it the same day (on my suggestion).

ETA I've got a Canon i9900 I adore.

Last edited by Joey P; 07-30-2008 at 11:27 PM..
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  #22  
Old 07-31-2008, 12:04 AM
Wheeljack Wheeljack is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoctorJ
So, serious question: who is making a printer these days that isn't a piece of shit? I need a new one.
If you mean inkjet, the answer is no one. Those things are garbage right out of the box, for all the reasons listed here. If you want a laser, I've actually had great luck with my b/w HP 1020 (which cost all of 80 bucks) but it's so old I doubt they sell them anymore and it doesn't have a scan function so I don't know if it would continue to work without toner.

Get a laser! It pays for itself very quickly.
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  #23  
Old 07-31-2008, 07:09 AM
Joey P Joey P is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wheeljack
If you mean inkjet, the answer is no one. Those things are garbage right out of the box, for all the reasons listed here. If you want a laser, I've actually had great luck with my b/w HP 1020 (which cost all of 80 bucks) but it's so old I doubt they sell them anymore and it doesn't have a scan function so I don't know if it would continue to work without toner.

Get a laser! It pays for itself very quickly.
We've got a 1020 at work. It works like a charm. It was cheap, but the cartriges are around $70, so keep that in mine.
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  #24  
Old 07-31-2008, 08:20 AM
asterion asterion is online now
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I've got a laser Brother HL-2040 I'm happy with. Heck, I'm still on the starter cartridge (I think 2500 pages worth) after two years. I could get myself one of those 12,000 page drums when needed from a place like Laser Monks for $70. Heck, by the time I'm done using it, the 24 reams of paper will probably have cost me that much.
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  #25  
Old 07-31-2008, 10:27 AM
Bookkeeper Bookkeeper is offline
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I still use an HP LaserJet 4P for most of my printing. I got it, IIRC, in 1994 and have never had any problems with it. HP wants almost $100 bucks for a toner cartridge, but you can get cheaper equivalents from elsewhere, and I don't do a lot of printing so they last me for several years anyway - no clogging ink nozzles or wasting ink for cleaning cycles. I finally broke down and got a Canon for colour printing a couple of years ago, and have had no problems with it other than the lack of generic replacement cartridges. Current HP inkjets suck, though, my sisters have already trashed a couple of them.
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  #26  
Old 07-31-2008, 11:11 AM
unstrung unstrung is offline
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Originally Posted by Otto
Except, wait. I can't scan or do anything else because the printer isn't detecting any cartridges. Apparently I'm too much of an idiot to figure out how to put them in, even though it LOOKS just like the crappy picture in the shitty manual. And until the printer can detect cartridges, I can't do shit with it.
Gotta ask one question, and apologies in advance if it is something you've already explored. Is it really turned off to all functions other than printing?

The reason I ask is that my printer proclaims, every time I turn it on, that there is some sort of big important error due to the fact that the black ink cartridge has run out, and therefore the printer cannot do anything whatsoever. However, there is a "scan" button, and I have discovered that if I hit this button, it will happily scan whatever I want, while simultaneously screaming that the black ink issue has not been resolved. You've probably already checked this out... but in case you haven't, it is worth mentioning...
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  #27  
Old 07-31-2008, 02:49 PM
Max Torque Max Torque is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joey P
We've got a 1020 at work. It works like a charm. It was cheap, but the cartriges are around $70, so keep that in mine.
I'm still using a LaserJet 2100 that I bought almost 10 years ago. Just added a JetDirect card to it, too (like $10 on eBay, with shipping!). At long last, the toner is giving out. Rather than spend $70-80 on a new cartridge, I'm going to try refilling the toner myself. Nothing ventured, right? If all goes well, I'll have spent $25 for the tools and toner, which is a steal compared to what new or even remanufactured cartridges go for.

Anyway, I'll report back after I've done the refill.
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  #28  
Old 07-31-2008, 02:52 PM
Joey P Joey P is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Torque
I'm still using a LaserJet 2100 that I bought almost 10 years ago. Just added a JetDirect card to it, too (like $10 on eBay, with shipping!). At long last, the toner is giving out. Rather than spend $70-80 on a new cartridge, I'm going to try refilling the toner myself. Nothing ventured, right? If all goes well, I'll have spent $25 for the tools and toner, which is a steal compared to what new or even remanufactured cartridges go for.

Anyway, I'll report back after I've done the refill.
We've thought about it, but we use it ALOT at work and really can't afford to have it out of commision for any length of time (like, more then 10 minutes) or we'll be screwed.
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  #29  
Old 07-31-2008, 03:51 PM
Quartz Quartz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Torque
I'm still using a LaserJet 2100 that I bought almost 10 years ago. Just added a JetDirect card to it, too (like $10 on eBay, with shipping!). At long last, the toner is giving out. Rather than spend $70-80 on a new cartridge, I'm going to try refilling the toner myself. Nothing ventured, right? If all goes well, I'll have spent $25 for the tools and toner, which is a steal compared to what new or even remanufactured cartridges go for.
I'm very wary of refills.

Firstly, the toner cartridges on HP printers aren't just toner: they have a special electrostatic drum. This tends to get worn causing marks on the paper.

Secondly, I've had bad experiences with refill toner messing on the fuser roller.

Still HP aren't as bad as the old Kyocera printers which did take a direct toner refill. You had to shake the refill vigorously before putting it in the printer and all that toner was held in by a thin plastic strip... After the first one exploded sending toner everywhere, we put them in a plastic bag before shaking them.
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  #30  
Old 07-31-2008, 04:36 PM
Rocketeer Rocketeer is offline
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Originally Posted by DoctorJ
So, serious question: who is making a printer these days that isn't a piece of shit? I need a new one.
We owned an Epson Stylus which always sounded as though it was going to fly apart. (clank, clank, rattle, whack! Whack! rattle rattle) When it wouldn't work with Mac OSX, we dumped it and got a Canon, which we are very very happy with.
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  #31  
Old 07-31-2008, 04:57 PM
Jurph Jurph is offline
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I sympathize deeply with anyone forced to deal with smart-aleck printers that think they're the center of your home office and that the PC and the user are just peripherals. It could be worse: you could have a Lexmark Docutron 9000 Talking Home Paper Wizard. Pieces of shit, every one of 'em.

Is there a company that makes printers that just shut the fuck up, cheerfully accept digital data over a standard interface, and produce paper with that data printed on it? That's what I want: a printer that just fuckin' prints.
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  #32  
Old 07-31-2008, 05:58 PM
Otto Otto is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unstrung
Gotta ask one question, and apologies in advance if it is something you've already explored. Is it really turned off to all functions other than printing?

The reason I ask is that my printer proclaims, every time I turn it on, that there is some sort of big important error due to the fact that the black ink cartridge has run out, and therefore the printer cannot do anything whatsoever. However, there is a "scan" button, and I have discovered that if I hit this button, it will happily scan whatever I want, while simultaneously screaming that the black ink issue has not been resolved. You've probably already checked this out... but in case you haven't, it is worth mentioning...
It has a little display screen and when I close up the printer the screen flashes a message about not detecting the cartridges. No button or combination of buttons does anything.
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  #33  
Old 07-31-2008, 06:10 PM
unstrung unstrung is offline
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Originally Posted by Otto
It has a little display screen and when I close up the printer the screen flashes a message about not detecting the cartridges. No button or combination of buttons does anything.
Well, crap. Then I can offer nothing other than a sincere promise to shake my fist angrily at HP on your behalf...
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  #34  
Old 07-31-2008, 06:19 PM
aldiboronti aldiboronti is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snickers
What does that even mean??!!!
PCLOADLETTER seems to be something that printers flash at you when they're unhappy. Just wasted ages googling it, not made any easier by the number of people that use it as a username.

The only thing I found that was vaguely helpful (and I do mean vaguely) was this strip. (Caption in second frame).
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  #35  
Old 07-31-2008, 06:43 PM
Cisco Cisco is offline
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Originally Posted by Otto
Fuck you, HP leftover twat-dripping designers
It wouldn't happen to be the HP 1210v, would it?
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  #36  
Old 07-31-2008, 06:46 PM
Cisco Cisco is offline
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Originally Posted by aldiboronti
PCLOADLETTER seems to be something that printers flash at you when they're unhappy. Just wasted ages googling it, not made any easier by the number of people that use it as a username.

The only thing I found that was vaguely helpful (and I do mean vaguely) was this strip. (Caption in second frame).
You've been semi-wooshed. Snickers probably doesn't actually know what it means, but I'm sure he/she knows it's from the movie Office Space .
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  #37  
Old 07-31-2008, 07:07 PM
Sal Ammoniac Sal Ammoniac is offline
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I can't believe all the hatred for HP. Of course, I might have generalized from my rubbishy feed-the-sheets-one-at-a-time-by-hand HP Photosmart, but I didn't think the world worked that way.
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  #38  
Old 07-31-2008, 08:08 PM
Harmonious Discord Harmonious Discord is offline
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I recommend you kick it to pieces if you give up on it.
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  #39  
Old 07-31-2008, 08:57 PM
Otto Otto is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cisco
It wouldn't happen to be the HP 1210v, would it?
It's a C4280, assuming that string of characters on the box means anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmonious Discord
I recommend you kick it to pieces if you give up on it.
I was about 30 seconds away from tossing it off my balcony. I'm going to take my old computer in this weekend to do some file transfers to the new one and I'm going to take the printer in too to see if someone at the Apple store can cram the cartridges in.

I can't even return it, because it was free!

Last edited by Otto; 07-31-2008 at 08:58 PM..
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  #40  
Old 08-01-2008, 01:14 AM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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Originally Posted by Jurph
Is there a company that makes printers that just shut the fuck up, cheerfully accept digital data over a standard interface, and produce paper with that data printed on it? That's what I want: a printer that just fuckin' prints.
I've had good luck with Brother. They aren't big enough that they can be assholes to their customers, so they're still in the stage where they have to make a decent, solid product that works. Give 'em time, and I'm sure they'll be able to make a product every bit as shitty and annoying as HP.
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  #41  
Old 08-01-2008, 01:47 AM
Wheeljack Wheeljack is offline
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Well, there's always the Okidata Microline. It can just "shut up and print" in the loudest manner imaginable.
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  #42  
Old 08-01-2008, 01:22 PM
Yeticus Rex Yeticus Rex is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto

I can't even return it, because it was free!
Well then, quit while you're ahead.

86 it.
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