Well, the greatest of all Dopers is, of course, Sampiro. All must bow before his grand storytelling skills. When he left us briefly for a time, there was weeping, gnashing of teeth, and at least one attempted suicide-by-hamster.
Modesty forbids me from specifying who the second-greatest Doper is. Surely it is enough to say that fabulous poster is perfectly willing – nay, eager – to not only unleash hordes of genetically engineered, winged, flame-breathing, etc. howler monkeys in defense of the Dope and its citizens, but to, as need be, stride into the field of battle himself, no matter how many infinitives he must split in the process. If you knew how many battles he has fought to protect us all from the depredeations of Morgoth and his Balrogs, you would all offer him your first-born children, or at least some sort of omelet.
But among us sits a third. Not as clever as Sampiro, perhaps, nor as valiant as the unnamed creature, but still awesome in his or her general rockingness.
I make a mean omelet. Also, I helped turn the SDMB into the legal world’s leading resource on Zombie Property Law. This is information you may well need if you decide to recruit the undead into your ranks, m’lord Rhymer.
I would say I’m third because I try harder, but that would be a lie. I don’t try hard for any reason – if my relaxed attempt isn’t enough then it’s not worth struggling over.
The reality is I’m third best because so many of the rest of you are such incredible losers. But I’m far too polite to say so.
If the Greatest Doper was judged on consistent wit and general handsomeness, the 1st and 2nd Dopers would be languishing in 2nd and 3rd, but as it stands, I think I easily grab that vacant 3rd spot. :p:D:cool:
You & **Mr. Excellent **seem to be implying that I ranked myself second. That is puzzling, as I was clearly talking about that sick bastard Fabulous Creature, not me.
