So I was wondering, what are some common things people do that you just cannot comprehend? For me, it’s reading on the toilet. I mean, does it really take you so long to take a dump that you need to bring reading material? I’m pretty sure I can get in and out in all of 30 seconds, which is apparently 30 seconds of valuable reading time that I’m wasting. Wouldn’t you rather read on a sofa somewhere while not performing any sort of bodily function? And doesn’t reading on the can distract you from your, er, primary objective? You’re all crazy and fibre-deficient if you ask me 
Sticking with the toilet theme (I’m a reader).
People who talk on the phone while on the can.
Own little angry dogs.
Pop their collars.
High heels.
Litter. Especially in areas of natural beauty.
Own small dogs and carry them around in their purses like fashion accessories. This is becoming distressingly-common in Toronto, and it has always seemed to me to be somewhere between awkward and cruel. I was at a crowded house party last year, and two people had such dogs there. The poor animals were bewildered and had nowhere to go, in several senses of the word.
Talk on a cell phone while driving. Bad idea, you can really tell when other drivers are distracted on a phone.
A refinement of littering: smokers to toss their cigarette butts on the ground.
I drink soda all the time, often from cans, but in all my years, I have never gotten to the bottom of the can and thought “well, I’m done with this,” and tossed the can out the window, but some smokers leave a trail of butts. WTH?
Scrapbooking.
Motor sports.
[ol]
[li]The lighting is good.[/li][li]There’s no wife or child in the bathroom to bug me.[/li][li]Relaxation facilitates a good dump. Thirty seconds sounds like you’re going to burst a blood vessel.[/li][/ol]
Riding motorcycles. It combines the lack of protection a bicycle gives you with the total laziness factor of driving a car.
Choose to murder their spouses rather than divorce them.
Spit in public.
Yeah but you can actually stay at the speed of traffic instead of traffic having to weave around you.
You don’t get high heels?! They’re for discodancing. 
I don’t get why people park right next to me in parking lots. Well, I think I have some theories, but nothing definitive yet. I can park in the furthest space from the door, with a dozen closer parking spaces and two empty spaces on either side of me, and when I get out of the store/post office/bank/office etc., there will be a car parked right next to me.
Often it will be close enough to make it hard either for me to get in my door or for them getting into theirs which necessitates them scraping my car door. And I have the nicks on my car doors to prove it.
Oh, and I think this is geography specific. I don’t remember this happening to me when I lived elsewhere.
Name their kids last name first names that aren’t last names from their own family.
Brag about how little they read. I don’t understand people who say, “Oh, I just don’t have time to read.” That sentence means nothing to me.
Moving unbelievably slowly through the train station. This is not a destination! The only reason ever to come here is to get somewhere else! Move yer ass, dammit!
Drive in the left (passing) lane. For miles and miles.
(I know I’m gowing to regret posting this) Own a pitbull terrier. I realize that YOUR Pitbull is the nicest sweetest dog in the world but there are so many dog attacks attributed to this particular breed it seems like owning one is asking for trouble…