I have a black Labrador named Keiko. She’s almost 15 years old, and she’s had terrible arthritis for years now. It just KILLS me to see her struggle to make it up the stairs. Most recently, she’s lost her hearing. White hair has replaced her once shining, black coat. The vet has prescribed an assortment of medications and pills to keep her going.
Every time she comes in contact with a family member, Keiko is more affectionate than she’s ever been. Merely stopping and petting her in the hallway, Keiko will lie down and make sad whimpering sounds. She hasn’t always been like this. Until a year or so ago, we have been greeted with a sort of apathy that I’ve seen only demonstrated by cats.
Keiko is the first dog that my family has had that I will have lived through its entire lifetime (yes, that sentence doesn’t flow very well, but you get the idea). When I was 10, Jesse (a black Lab/retriever mix that my parents had before me) died, and we adopted Keiko a few months later. I saw her as a puppy, and I’ve watched her age to the state she’s in now.
Seeing her now is very bittersweet. I love her to pieces, but she is in pain constantly. Her once very aggressive nature has been replaced with submissiveness. What is happening here? Does she sense her own demise? Why has her demeanor changed so suddenly?
This will probably be the last Christmas we share together.
Dogs only understand the now, and now for her is always painful. Dogs cannot understand death as a concept but they can sense that they are unwell. I know this may be hard to hear, but if you believe her to be in constant pain, and she is cowering all the time, you need to seriously consider putting Keiko down tomorrow, and not Dec 26. To keep her alive in incomprehensible pain for 6 days is selfish.
I know how hard it is to lose your pet (my cat is 16 and I am constantly thinking about when his time will come). But you have to do what is right for them, not what is right for you.
Is the vet doing everything possible to address the pain? Sometimes thoughts on pain management change when the end is in sight and you don’t have to worry about the long-term health effects of the pain meds.
Hello Again is right. When an animal is showing pain ,it is usually very severe. You need to do something now. Maybe not putting her to sleep but the pain needs to be addressed.
My dog Mira lived to be about 16. Our decision was that, since she’d had numerous health issues all her life, if she was in a lot of pain, keeping her alive was more out of our selfish interests than for her. She went deaf, but adapted fine. She even went blind after that, but still knew the house, the yard, the blocks we’d walk her around (you honestly wouldn’t have thought she couldn’t see or hear with how she’d navigate). She’d love laying with us, getting scritched or petted.
She got older, and slower, and had arthritis, but was basically okay. But then she got this awful condition where she completely lost her sense of balance. Even just moving her head would feel like she was tumbling around in a clothes dryer. It meant she couldn’t stand or walk.
That’s when we had her put down. Keeping her alive then would be cruel. It broke our hearts (and I still tear up even typing about her, and she died 5 years ago), but it was the right decision.
My experience is that animals can certainly sense when they arent right, pain or no pain.
Some get very withdrawn. Some get mean. Some get much friendlier than usual.
We have an ollldddd bitchy cat. He used to weight almost 30 pounds two years ago. He now barely tops 10 lbs. He now seeks constant attention and while he seems to be okay for now, we know that any day now he could suddenly make a major turn for the worse…
Its ungodly hard to do, but as other have said, if the pain isnt managable, you really need to consider doing the hard but right thing.
I am sorry about Keiko. But if you love her as much as you say you do, your last duty to her is to give her a good, kind death. It sounds like the time is now. She deserves no less.
And if/when you decide to put her down, check with your local vets. Some will come to your house and do it there. Saves alot of final trama for your beloved member of the family. We’ve had that done and it was a much better end for our pets.
This happened to my Scout just this spring. She was 14. She hadn’t been on her feet for a whole day, she hadn’t eaten anything no matter how tempting and couldn’t keep water down, and the vet said there was really nothing else he could do for her. It was so hard to look at her lying there apparently peacefully, looking up at me with those big brown eyes, and actually say the words, “Yes, it’s time.”
One of the hardest things I’ve done. But I know it was also one of the kindest.
It really sounds as though the kindest thing for Keiko right now would be to give her an easy passage into the next world, sooner rather than later.
There’s a saying with horse people. “Better a day too soon, than an hour too late.” If Keiko is in pain; you can relieve her suffering.
It’s a personal matter between owner and pet, and only you and your family can make that decision. Best thoughts to you and yours, and your beloved dog.
It sucks to be in that position. I’ve been there many times. Hugs
I think there is a point where you will know, or perhaps do already, when it is time.
And I agree with the others who have said that once you do have that feeling it is best to give your pet an easier passing.
Our beagle was almost 16 when we had him put to sleep. He had been a fairly healthy dog all his life, and then in year 14 or so, he started to lose a little zip and also lost some weight, and developed a bad case of Canine Vestibular Syndrome. He had medicine for that and was still doing pretty well.
A year or so later, when we “knew” it was time, he had lost so much weight so quickly that it was painful to look at him. He also went from being able to climb stairs and jump up on our bed one week, to not being able to to do it the next.
I cried harder at his burial than I did at my dad’s who had just died a few months before.
It sounds like Keiko has had a nice long life, and lots of love. (((hugs))) I am so sorry.
Agreed. I did that for my cat this summer. It was more expensive but I don’t regret it for a second. Instead of crying all the way to the vet and dying in complete terror, she slipped away peacefully on her favorite quilt on the couch. It tore my heart out, but it was the right thing to do.
Thank you all for your kind words and insight. Following my post, I will give Keiko a long, heartfelt hug. She may not understand its true meaning, but that’s neither here nor there. I want her to feel loved. Keiko knows that when she’s embraced, love is the only thing surrounding her. Here we goooo
You’re doing the right thing, trust me and all the others who have responded.
Yes, it will be tough to let her go, but it is the kindest possible thing you can do for her now, and the fact that you are willing to let her go and not hurt anymore is proof of your love for her.
All our pets really know is that we love them and they love us. As one who has been in your position, easing a pet’s journey from this world is the most humane and least selfish decision we can make for them. Keiko doesn’t know she is going to die, but she knows she wants to sleep so she no longer feels ill or in pain.
Here are two poems dealing with pet loss. I’m going to link to them because they are copyrighted material. And also because reading them will cause serious leaking around the eyes. Read them when you’re ready, and may they bring you comfort that you’ve given your dog the ultimate act of kindness.
For years my parents had a cat who was not only stand-offish, but actively avoided affection. In her last several months, before she even had any obvious health problems, she became extremely friendly and affectionate.
Having had cats my whole life, this is the only time I’ve seen such a complete personality change, but obviously it does happen. Maybe they don’t “know” they’re going to die, but perhaps illness can cause some sort of chemical shift in their brains.
I lost my dog 12 years ago. He was very sik, and I am ceratin he knew. His heart was failing, so the circulation was failing-I rigged up an electric heating pad in his bed to keep him warm-and he would walk awy from his bed. Two nights before he passed. he went out into the yard, and just laid down-I came out and picked him up=and carried him into the house. He was inifferent to me, as if to say…“It is my time, I love you, but let me go”. He died two days later.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear you all had to go through this. I am going to go spend time with my very young, healthy cat now. Thanks for reminding me that our time together is finite.
Hello everyone. Thanks again for your sympathies and insight. Sorry if my previous posts came off as overly sappy. Also, in the OP - I was not taking a shot at cats. I’ve never owned one, but many of my friends and relatives have cats. They can be very warm and affectionate and are great to snuggle with. I’ve noticed they can be very moody at times as well, which is what I was referring to.
The worst part about this is after Keiko is gone, I’ll go around the house picking up her toys and rawhides and probably start balling my eyes out. I really can’t even imagine putting her down at this point; she’s still very playful and has the outlook of a four-month-old puppy. As her health continues to decline, my family will invariably have “the talk” and make a decision.
