How do women with very long fingernails wipe their butts?

[Dripping]

It would seem to me to be difficult if not impossible to thoroughly wipe that area with those long daggers on each finger.

How do they do it without either doing a sloppy job and missing some, or getting stink all up under those fingernails?

[Reply]

And obvious related question: How do they masturbate?

[HongKongFooey]

Originally Posted by Reply

And obvious related question: How do they masturbate?

I'll volunteer to research that one

[panache45]

And how do they pick their noses?

[Reply]

Originally Posted by HongKongFooey

I'll volunteer to research that one

And every study needs a few good assistants. You have my contact.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

Originally Posted by panache45

And how do they pick their noses?

Wouldn't long fingernails actually be more conducive to effective nose-picking?

[Catchy Wins]

Originally Posted by Hazle Weatherfield

Wouldn't long fingernails actually be more conducive to effective nose-picking?

Only if they plan on an accidental lobotomy.

[Reply]

There's no such thing as an accidental lobotomy, only clean noses and sound minds.

[Freudian Slit]

Originally Posted by Reply

And obvious related question: How do they masturbate?

Vibrator?

[Colibri]

Since I suspect there have been very few if any published studies on this highly engrossing subject, the answer to this will necessarily depend on anecdote and speculation. I think it's better suited for IMHO than GQ.

Colibri
General Questions

[AngelSoft]

Originally Posted by Reply

And obvious related question: How do they masturbate?

Well it's definitely doable. I can say that for sure after watching a.....'video'....in which the actresses had like inch and a half long nails and got the job done just fine.

[Reply]

Originally Posted by AngelSoft

Well it's definitely doable. I can say that for sure after watching a.....'video'....in which the actresses had like inch and a half long nails and got the job done just fine.

...ouch? She better get paid quite a lot.

Edit: Wait, no, what am I talking about?! She friggin' frigs herself for a living. She should pay for the privilege!

[AngelSoft]

Originally Posted by Reply

...ouch? She better get paid quite a lot.

Edit: Wait, no, what am I talking about?! She friggin' frigs herself for a living. She should pay for the privilege!

Actually I think you're thinking of a different way of masturbating than I saw. No penetration if that's what you're thinking.

[freckafree]

Originally Posted by Catchy Wins

accidental lobotomy

Band name!

[Johnny L.A.]

Originally Posted by Dripping

It would seem to me to be difficult if not impossible to thoroughly wipe that area with those long daggers on each finger.

Why do you think they like those little dogs?

[1010011010]

Curl your fingers onto your palm. Grip material between the second segment of your index finger and lower part of thumb. Wipe in a direction the works with the curve of the thumb nail. Apply light pressure with the backs of the fingers at around the middle knuckle area if desired.

Basically, pretend you've had part of your fingers amputated.

[Hunter Hawk]

Alternatively, start off by finding a live goose...

[Reply]

Originally Posted by 1010011010

Curl your fingers onto your palm. Grip material between the second segment of your index finger and lower part of thumb. Wipe in a direction the works with the curve of the thumb nail. Apply light pressure with the backs of the fingers at around the middle knuckle area if desired.

Basically, pretend you've had part of your fingers amputated.

And here I thought burqas and foot binding were cruel...

[Richard Parker]

Originally Posted by 1010011010

Curl your fingers onto your palm. Grip material between the second segment of your index finger and lower part of thumb. Wipe in a direction the works with the curve of the thumb nail. Apply light pressure with the backs of the fingers at around the middle knuckle area if desired.

Basically, pretend you've had part of your fingers amputated.

That's one crazy form of masturbation.

[HongKongFooey]

All this time I just figured they wrapped some tissue around the end of the plunger handle to wipe themselves.

[Vox Imperatoris]

It doesn't really seem like it would be all that difficult if instead of gripping with your fingers curled inward, you grabbed it with the base of the last joint of your fingers, nails parallel to the wiping area.

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

[tumbleddown]

From my experience in my acrylic nails days, think of the usual motions you would use for these sorts of actions, and rotate the hand 90 degrees.

[Moirai]

And great masturbation doesn't necessarily involve penetration... the phrase "rubbing one out" should help you with the visual...

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by Johnny L.A.

Why do you think they like those little dogs?

Good gad, man.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Half of them wipe while still sitting on the toilet.

The other half stand up, then wipe.

[cochrane]

Originally Posted by Dripping

It would seem to me to be difficult if not impossible to thoroughly wipe that area with those long daggers on each finger.

How do they do it without either doing a sloppy job and missing some, or getting stink all up under those fingernails?

Very carefully.

[Freudian Slit]

Originally Posted by EJsGirl

And great masturbation doesn't necessarily involve penetration... the phrase "rubbing one out" should help you with the visual...

Now I think I might have to start a "How do you masturbate" thread for women dopers. Actually, as a female doper with a very specific way of masturbating, I have been curious about how others do it, but I'm always afraid that people will think, "Oh no--PRURIENT INTEREST" if I start THAT thread.

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by Freudian Slit

I'm always afraid that people will think, "Oh no--PRURIENT INTEREST" if I start THAT thread.

Well, yes. Post a link if you decide to start it.

[Freudian Slit]

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

Well, yes. Post a link if you decide to start it.

Done.

[Harmonious Discord]

At home they use a bath towel like floss. In public restrooms, I'm sure you've seen how dirty the fixtures and walls can be at times. There is a reason not to touch the door handles.