Clerks who say "Your Welcome"

[Mojo Rising]

When I am out shopping or dining, I am always courteous to those serving me (i.e. when finishing up a sale, I say "Thank you" to the cashier). Generally, they respond with "Thank you" in return.

However, I have recently heard a few responses of "Your welcome." For some reason, this really pisses me off. It seems impolite.

Has anybody else encountered this phenomenon and/or am I the only one who is bothered by it? I must admit that I seem to hear it most often from people in minimum wage jobs (i.e. not much experience in the business world).

[pluto]

Always ready to deflect the discussion, even if it hasn't started! --

I lived in New Zealand for a while and the clerk would say thank you when I handed him/her the money. My experience in America was that they said thank you at the end of the transaction. Until I got used to it I thought they weren't going to give me any change!


------------------
"non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem"

[elbow]

I am not a clerk, but I do have this exact exchange a thousand times a week. Usually it goes like this:
I say, 'Thank you'
Customer says, 'Thank you'
That only leaves me, 'Your Welcome'.
Think back and see if this isn't what's happening.
When people say, 'You're Welcome' to me I don't thinks it's rude at all. Don't let such a tiny thing piss you off, life is too short and you're a long time dead.

[Ennius]

Not that it's the same thing, but I workat a golf course and when people thank me, I always say "You're welcome." This is because I have provided them a service (namely carrying a heavy golf bag for 4+ hours). Perhaps these clerks feel that they are allowing you to purchase their materiel and therefore are doing you a favor.

Still, it does seem kinda rude.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

And the only reasonable reply I can think of is to repeat "Thanks". To say "You're welcome" is like saying "I've gone out of my way to favor you with my presence in your establishment"--slightly patronizing to say the least.

In Germany, store clerks usually say "Bitte schoen" or "Bitte sehr" which means "You're welcome" when the transaction is completed, before the customer says anything.

Which leads me to the conclusion that all such expressions,
when used between salespeople and customers, are really just
polite acknowledgements and not formal expressions of gratitude or welcomeness in the everyday sense.

[pepperlandgirl]

When I worked as a clerk, I ALWAYS said thank you first. But sometimes I was a lil slow on the draw, and they said "thank you" to me first. After years of following that with "your welcome", it's the first thing that came to my mind. If you don't want to hear "Your welcome", don't say "thank you" first.

[Kilgore Trout]

i waited until it was done by 3, so it's no longer a nit.

you're welcome.

[Stratocaster]

And what is the proper response to "thank you"? I must be missing something. Should those in the service industry throw their bodies in your path for you to step on in reponse to your condescending to thank them for providing said service?

Everyone knows that the only time it's appropriate to answer a "thank you" with another is if you're one of those chipmunks from the Warner Bros. cartoons ("Thank you!"..."Oh, no, thank you!")...

[JSexton]

...er. I don't get what's rude about "You're welcome" in response to "Thank you." "Uh-huh" is rude, to me. So's "No problem." Darn right, it's no problem to do your job. But I don't get the OP. Anyone wanna 'splain me?

[Gr8Kat]

And what is the proper response to "thank you"? I must be missing something. Should those in the service industry throw their bodies in your path for you to step on in reponse to your condescending to thank them for providing said service?

My understand is that the cashier thanks the customer for their patronage, and the customer thanks the cashier for their good service. If the customer says "Thank you" first and only gets a "You're welcome" in response without the corresponding "Thank you," then I can see how they can consider that rude.

Everyone knows that the only time it's appropriate to answer a "thank you" with another is if you're one of those chipmunks from the Warner Bros. cartoons ("Thank you!"..."Oh, no, thank you!")...

They were gophers.

[ren]

thank you n : a conversational expression of gratitude

you're welcome adj : conventional response to thanks meaning 'freely granted'

So, you express your gratitude to someone, they express that the service was freely granted, and that's rude? How so? What's rude about letting someone know that they are freely entitled to the thing they are grateful for receiving? That seems rather generous to me.

The only context in which I can imagine the reply being rude is if you didn't really mean to thank them, but are instead trying to get a "thank you" out of them. Now, that strikes me as disingenuous and rather rude. If you didn't want for them to reply with a commonly accepted courteous reply, why did you bother to address them in the first place?

I don't get it.

[sailor]

It used to be that there were greeting formulas and everyone knew what to say and knew it was just a formula. Then in the 70s we got people saying formulas were not sincere and they started new formulas like the "have a nice day" thing and expecting an answer to "how are you today?"

When a clerk asks me "How are you today? " I feel like saying "None of your business?" or maybe... "pull up a chair and let me tell you... my lumbago has been acting up lately and my neigbor said..."

OTOH, when I get to the cash register and I am asked "How are you today?" I get the chance to tell her: "Pretty irritated because I've been waiting in line for 20 minutes and it seemed the line was hardly moving and I was thinking you really need to move faster or open more lines and I hope you'll tell the maneger what I just told you because it happens fairly often here..." (After that they don't expect any more pleasant exchanges).

But returning to the OP. I feel than you is always appropriate even if the clerk says it more than once. But if he does not want to be repetitive he could try something like "pleased to serve you", "call again" or something along those lines.

[wolfman]

Around here the clerk usually says "Thank you, have a nice day" to which I am programmed to reply "you too". It is such a habit by now, that I start to say it without even registering what they actually said. I have always wondered if they think I am rude by replying to "your reciept is in the bag" with "you too!" I always kind of hoped they understood how it was intended, rather than thinking I am too self-absorbed to listen to anyone else.

[manhattan]

Holy smokes! Where did this thread come from?

Back when the OP was, uh, OPed, there wasn't any forum to which to send this puppy.

There is now. Off to IMHO.

[Spoke]

It strikes me that it is less and less common to hear the phrase "You're welcome." More often than not, when I say "Thank you," the reply is "Thank you."

It is to the point now that the phrase "You're welcome" almost seems condescending and rude. Anyone else sensing this shift?

[missbunny]

How on earth can anyone consider "you're welcome" a rude response to "thank you"? What do you expect the person to say in response? Just "thank you" back again?

You: thank you
Cashier: thank you
You: no, thank YOU
Cashier: no, thank YOU

???????

[black rabbit]

I've worked in the service industry enough to know that a customer who is first with the "thank you" is the customer who doesn't get his burger spit in, gets his check fast, and maybe isn't charged for his fries. If they say "you're welcome" rather than "thank you" in reply, who cares? Their job is thankless enough as it is.

You can make the argument that you just handed over 2.99 for you Big Mac meal, and, as a paying customer, you damn well be treated like a king. Too bad the register jockey who's been on her feet for the past six hours doesm't really give a rats ass what you think.

[Cervaise]

My impression, from everyday usage, is that "You're welcome" is falling out of favor, for whatever reason.

(Hey, did you hear that? Sounded like Miss Manners' head exploding.)

Speaking for myself, I just dodge the whole "thank you" / "thank you" / "no, thank YOU" thing. When someone says "thank you" to me, I usually respond with some variant of "happy to help." Maybe not formally approved by the etiquette guide, but it avoids the pitfalls rather nicely.

[brachyrhynchos]

Originally posted by wolfman
Around here the clerk usually says "Thank you, have a nice day" to which I am programmed to reply "you too". It is such a habit by now, that I start to say it without even registering what they actually said. I have always wondered if they think I am rude by replying to "your reciept is in the bag" with "you too!"

I hate when I do that. Clerk: "Come back again!" Me: "You too!"
Duh.

As far as "You're welcome," if I hear it from someone I've paid and just thanked, I assume it's an automatic, polite response on their part. I'm not offended.

[Satan]

I don't find "You're welcome" to be rude when said to me. Hell, with the state of retail these days, any eye contact and conversation above the "thirty six twenty seven" (or whatever your stuff costs) is a plus.

When I was in retail, I went out of my way to do the "No, thank YOU!" bit. I said it by accenting every word in a glib manner with a goofy smile on my face. It got people to laugh, that's for sure. I still do it sometimes in the custmer role.
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[Guinastasia]

Originally posted by sailor
It used to be that there were greeting formulas and everyone knew what to say and knew it was just a formula. Then in the 70s we got people saying formulas were not sincere and they started new formulas like the "have a nice day" thing and expecting an answer to "how are you today?"

When a clerk asks me "How are you today? " I feel like saying "None of your business?" or maybe... "pull up a chair and let me tell you... my lumbago has been acting up lately and my neigbor said..."

OTOH, when I get to the cash register and I am asked "How are you today?" I get the chance to tell her: "Pretty irritated because I've been waiting in line for 20 minutes and it seemed the line was hardly moving and I was thinking you really need to move faster or open more lines and I hope you'll tell the maneger what I just told you because it happens fairly often here..." (After that they don't expect any more pleasant exchanges).

But returning to the OP. I feel than you is always appropriate even if the clerk says it more than once. But if he does not want to be repetitive he could try something like "pleased to serve you", "call again" or something along those lines.

Um, I think you need to visit this site:
http://www.customerssuck.com

I always just say, "Hey, no problem!" It's like my way of saying, "hey, i'm glad to help!"
yeesh, people! Don't nitpick!

[Anti Pro]

Frankly, I'd be glad to get a 'you're welcome.' When I say "thanks," I usually get 'No problem' if there's any response at all.

[Emilee]

I work in a coffee shop (not evil Starbucks) and for me the exchange usually goes like this.

Me: Here is your latte, that will be $2.60 please.
Customer: OK (gives me money)
Me: Thank you (rings it up and makes change) Here is your change, have a nice day.

People very rarely say thank you, and if they do I usually say something like "I hope you enjoy it."

When I am on the other side of the counter, I usually say thank you as the clerk or whatever hands me my change or my purchase. No matter what they say back, I just smile at them because I know their response was probably drilled into them during training anyway.

[kasuo]

I'm not a clerk, rather a computer lab assistant so it's still customer service related. Anyway, I try to avoid this situation by doing the following:

student: "Thanks for pressing CTRL ALT DEL."
me: "Mmm-hmm."

Usually most people seem okay with my humming as acknowledgement. I also throw in an occasional "no problem" but I have the feeling people might think I say that in a sarcastic manner.

[Spoke]

How on earth can anyone consider "you're welcome" a rude response to "thank you"?

I don't mean to say that it is terribly rude. I suppose the reason it seems vaguely rude, in the retail or food service setting, at least, is that it does not acknowledge the mutuality of the exchange. I, the customer, am giving you my business, for which you should thank me. You, the retailer or waiter, are providing me with service, for which I should thank you.

In other situations, where there is no mutuality involved, I would not consider "you're welcome" even mildly rude. E.g., If I stop to help someone change a flat, or give someone directions, and they thank me, the appropriate reply would be "You're welcome!"

[Outrider]

Originally posted by kasuo
I'm not a clerk, rather a computer lab assistant so it's still customer service related. Anyway, I try to avoid this situation by doing the following:

student: "Thanks for pressing CTRL ALT DEL."
me: "Mmm-hmm."

Usually most people seem okay with my humming as acknowledgement. I also throw in an occasional "no problem" but I have the feeling people might think I say that in a sarcastic manner.

Here is how I do it in a social situation:

Me: "If you want, you can use two nested loops to do that."
Friend in computer lab: "Cool. Thanks."
Me: "Sure, no problem"

But in a store, it would be:

Cashier: "Here is your order. Thank you"
Me: "Thank you"

[ren]

It is to the point now that the phrase "You're welcome" almost seems condescending and rude. Anyone else sensing this shift?

and:

it does not acknowledge the mutuality of the exchange

Well, perhaps the interpretation of "you're welcome" may be changing, but clearly its original intent is very much in line with acknowledging the mutuality of the exchange - it seems to me that the original context ("Freely granted") may speak to either the generosity of the speaker, or the fact that the previous "thank you" was considered generous, since the service is freely granted. IOW, "you didn't need to thank me for that, we're equal in this transaction".

It seems kinda like splitting hairs, though.

What really gets me is how we react to such a fine distinction with indignation, as though somehow we are receiving less than we are entitled to (I think I've been guilty of this as well, so I'm not just wagging my finger at y'all). Plenty of comments here attest to the fact that both sides of the transaction are often put upon. When we get any decent reply, that we get caught up in the distinction instead of just generously acknowledging the attempt to be civil (regardless of its degree) bothers me....

[Guinastasia]

Originally posted by spoke-

I don't mean to say that it is terribly rude. I suppose the reason it seems vaguely rude, in the retail or food service setting, at least, is that it does not acknowledge the mutuality of the exchange. I, the customer, am giving you my business, for which you should thank me. You, the retailer or waiter, are providing me with service, for which I should thank you.

In other situations, where there is no mutuality involved, I would not consider "you're welcome" even mildly rude. E.g., If I stop to help someone change a flat, or give someone directions, and they thank me, the appropriate reply would be "You're welcome!"

Um, no offense, but if the WORST thing that happens to you is that a clerk says, "You're welcome", instead of "Thank you," you're doing pretty good.
I'm sorry, I just find this whole idea so ridiculous! "You're welcome" has always been the appropriate, mannerly response to "Thank you."
So, I can see what you're saying, but I still see it as making a big fuss over nothing.

[Duke]

I can't believe some customers would find "you're welcome" a rude response to their "thank you." When I worked as a cashier in a supermarket in the States I never heard anyone complain when I said it, and in fact most people tended to treat it positively.

On the other hand, I noticed that a lot of people, once they received their change, tended to put their heads down, mumbled something, then walked away. Usually I'd assume that the mumble was "Thank you," but on one occasion after I responded to the mumble with "You're welcome," the customer shot back with "What? Is there something wrong?" Maybe that customer would have agreed "you're welcome" was rude...if she'd realised what I was saying in the first place, I guess!

[vandal]

When I worked as a counter clerk, I tried to make it a point to say "thank you" instead of "you're welcome". But, you're just so used to saying "you're welcome" as a response to "thank you", that sometimes it's hard to make that transition into clerk mode so you can reply with "thank you".

[MysterEcks]

In days of yore when I worked in retail, my response to a customer's "thank you" was invariably "You're very welcome, and thank you." This seemed to hit all the bases.

But nobody ever actually trained me on how to answer a customer's "thank you"--I came up with it all by myself. When faced with the situation a lot of people just fall back on the normal everyday "you're welcome," which is sort of ingrained. No rudeness is intended.

[GaWd]

Originally posted by spoke-
It strikes me that it is less and less common to hear the phrase "You're welcome." More often than not, when I say "Thank you," the reply is "Thank you."

THe above is what I used to do in retail, and to a large extent carried on into Customer service ans inside sales.

Rude? I don't think so. Not what you'd expect? probably not, tough.

-Sam

[Spoke]

I can see what you're saying, but I still see it as making a big fuss over nothing.

Hey, I'm not making any big fuss. I'm just pointing out that you hear "you're welcome" less frequently these days, and I am trying to figure out why. My take is that people are making an effort to be even more polite by replying with "thank you".

Not a big issue for me one way or the other. :::shrug:::

[Spoke]

That, plus I grew up in the South, which may have made me hyper-sensitive on matters of etiquette.

[Harmonious Discord]

I know this was a bitch thread about a year ago. Don't say Thank you , if you hate hearing "Your welcome". They only have your welcome left to say, when you already said thank you. Thank you. No, thank you. No,no, no, thank you.

[Spoke]

To tell the truth, the retailer/clerk/cashier should be the first out of the gate with the "thank you". After all, I don't have to do business with them. Maybe that's part of the annoyance - having someone in that position wait for me to thank them, when it should be the other way around. I appreciate their service and all, but they sort of owe that to me don't they? I am a paying customer after all.

Still, I do always thank the service provider. I would just like for them to beat me to the punch a little more often.

Actually, I like MysterEcks's solution: "You're very welcome, and thank you!" Sure it's a mouthful, but is does fairly reek of politeness.

[black rabbit]

Originally posted by spoke-
To tell the truth, the retailer/clerk/cashier should be the first out of the gate with the "thank you". After all, I don't have to do business with them. Maybe that's part of the annoyance - having someone in that position wait for me to thank them, when it should be the other way around. I appreciate their service and all, but they sort of owe that to me don't they? I am a paying customer after all.
[/b]

Ahhhhh... the refreshing superiorty of the consumer.

Honestly, the clerk doesn't owe you jack. The stockholders are the ones who should be kissing your feet. Remember, you're talking to a schlub who's probably making, what, eight bucks an hour? Don't be shocked if guy doesn't think he owes you anything. Maybe if it's a salesclerk on commission, or a car salesman, they should shower you in slavish adulation. That, however, is the only example I can think of. It's an exchange of goods. Complete, impersonal, perfect capitalism. You give them money, and they give you stuff. They get paid the same whether you buy a lot of stuff or a little bit of stuff (remember, wages have been dropping in relation to corporate profits for quite some time).

I suggest getting over it.

[Spoke]

I suggest getting over it.

Oh yeah? Well, get over my refusal to get over it!

(And yes, I am stealing another Doper's line there. Sorry, I don't remember whose...)

I recognize that the individual clerk has little (or nothing) for which to thank me. On the other hand, I am surprised that clerks are not trained (or perhaps even required) by the higher-ups to make expressions of gratitude, even if the clerk doesn't feel it in his/her heart.

And yes, by the way, the consumer is treated as superior in rank by any retailer who wishes to stay in business. ("The customer is always right!" Right?)

:oing the "I'm the consumer! I'm number one!" dance, and shoving a big foam finger in your face::

[Guinastasia]

Originally posted by spoke-

And yes, by the way, the consumer is treated as superior in rank by any retailer who wishes to stay in business. ("The customer is always right!" Right?)

:oing the "I'm the consumer! I'm number one!" dance, and shoving a big foam finger in your face::

Oh...you did it! YOu said the NUMBER ONE PHRASE that pisses off us clerks. No, the CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!!!


Anyhoo, I'd like to say, 8 bucks an hour? I WISH! TRy 6.75, before taxes, on my feet for 8 hours at a time, one measly lunch and two breaks which, in order to obtain (which are my RIGHTS) I have to act like a total bitch to my supervisor usually, who's too busy pulling a prima donna act.
Yeah, I owe you...sure!
ARGH!!

http://www.customerssuck.com
I cannot stress it enough!
Uh...perhaps this should be in the Pit now...

[Guinastasia]

Besides, my friend has a saying:
"If the Customer was always right, then we'd be out of business!"

[ren]

::doing the "I'm the consumer! I'm number one!" dance, and shoving a big foam finger in your face::

It's becoming increasingly clear to me why people don't say "thank you" to you.....

[Spoke]

Actually, I'm a clerk's dream. I am always polite and pleasant and mind my manners and say "please" and "thank you" and have my money ready and don't hold up the line and don't make unreasonable demands and never ever say "The customer is always right," and I smile a big friendly smile and all of that good stuff.

All I'm asking is for some courtesy in return.

[The Saint]

My complaint is when clerks say "You're welcome." when you haven't said thank you (why should you, when you're the customer?). It seems so sarcastic. I should say "You should be thanking me for buying something, not scolding me for not thanking you. I think I'll just return this. Where's the mangager?"

[Punoqllads]

Originally posted by Mojo Rising
However, I have recently heard a few responses of "Your welcome." For some reason, this really pisses me off. It seems impolite.

Personally, I want to rip the fingers off of everyone who ever typed in the word "your" where it is obvious (to me) from the syntax that they should have typed in "you're". But I don't. I give them the benefit of the doubt; that they were attempting to behave correctly, but failed, and I try to treat them kindly and politely, without correcting them.

[BoBettie]

When I was a clerk/assistant manager at a video store, I told EVERY customer:
Thanks for stopping by! See you again soon!

If I knew their name and they seemed OK with it, I'd use that, too.

Thanks for stopping by, Mrs. Smith. See you again soon!

It gave 'em the warm fuzzies and they ate it right up. Same for when I worked in retail pharmacy. I'd usually say "Thanks very much, and if you have ANY questions, please don't hesitate to call us". (again, using names if it seemed OK). I actually cared if they had questions or not, so I guess I was an exception to most clerks.

Screw the "your welcome" thing. Has anyone had a clerk total up your goods, then just look at you? I mean, come on! What if I were illiterate or sight impaired? How rude is THAT? (Twice I've said something to a manager about this. It's just wrong)

Zette

[betenoir]

I just came from "Don't call me by my first name" Is it just me and Guinastasia againts you benighted hoard of consumers? (OK I'm exaggerating. Except for spoke)

Well, there were a lot of things I thought about saying (like about how much I love a customer saying "You're welcome" to ME.Like he was giving ME his money.)

But I'll just say, look: You, the consumer do this little cortesy dance a couple of times a day. A retail worker (AKA "clerk") does it acouple of hundred. Punoqllads said something about the benefit of a doubt. Unless you really, truely believe the person was trying to be rude...or you really believe clerks are a different class of lifeform than you are...let it go. We do.

[gobear]

I find this thread shocking. Somebody saying "you're welcome" is a cause for outrage? As Americans, we are conditioned to automatically say "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you." I can't believe you want to beat up on some poor clerk making minimum wage for being polite. You are reading waaaay too much into a two-word phrase. Lighten up and save your ammunition for some real battles, like getting overcharged.