Job Applicants - Try not to be an idiot on your first impression

[Smitty]

I have a tech support position open. I have posted an ad on Craigslist. The posting clearly says to go to our website and apply online. It specifically says "no phone calls."

So far, in under 5 hours, I have gotten 12 resumes via email and one phone call. The cream of the crop thus far has been one woman who not only responded via email, she misspelled the word "sincerely" in her email. And, on top of that, when I opened her resume, it was a blank template! Yes. You read that right. The resume had no information. It was a Word template that still contained the place markers saying things like, "[Type objective here]".

In this economy why in the name of all that is good and holy would you do anything other than triple check to make sure you are making the best possible impression you can? I am bloody flabbergasted.

[pbbth]

I once received a resume from a woman who typed her entire resume in strikethrough. It is mind boggling that she thought anyone would be able to read something like this! I threw it away. Other jewels in that batch included resumes with cover letters for completely different companies and resumes with objectives like, "I would like to write for television someday" when applying for a health insurance position.

[Robot Arm]

Hmm, I'm looking for a job. Where are you?

[Borborygmi]

Originally Posted by Smitty

Yes. You read that right. The resume had no information. It was a Word template that still contained the place markers saying things like, "[Type objective here]".

Hey, [Your name] is doing the best she can. The skills needed for [Describe your career goal or ideal job] probably have little or no correlation with the skills needed for creating a perfect resume. I say bring [Your name] in for an interview... you just might discover she has the experience in [Professional or technical skill], [Professional or technical skill], and [Professional or technical skill] that you are looking for.

[Hakuna Matata]

Originally Posted by pbbth

I once received a resume from a woman who typed her entire resume in strikethrough. It is mind boggling that she thought anyone would be able to read something like this! I threw it away. Other jewels in that batch included resumes with cover letters for completely different companies and resumes with objectives like, "I would like to write for television someday" when applying for a health insurance position.

Was this a word document or a .pdf and not a paper resume? The reason I ask is that I have noticed on rare occasion visually the text is correct on the word document, but when I print to .pdf I will get the strikethrough thing happen. Not sure why, but perhaps that explains it...or maybe she was just an idiot

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by Borborygmi

Hey, [Your name] is doing the best she can. The skills needed for [Describe your career goal or ideal job] probably have little or no correlation with the skills needed for creating a perfect resume. I say bring [Your name] in for an interview... you just might discover she has the experience in [Professional or technical skill], [Professional or technical skill], and [Professional or technical skill] that you are looking for.

I got a good chuckle out of this.

[pbbth]

Originally Posted by Hakuna Matata

Was this a word document or a .pdf and not a paper resume? The reason I ask is that I have noticed on rare occasion visually the text is correct on the word document, but when I print to .pdf I will get the strikethrough thing happen. Not sure why, but perhaps that explains it...or maybe she was just an idiot

This was a word document. I don't even care if it was an accident, I wasn't about to try and decipher that mess!

[Lizard]

Originally Posted by Smitty

I have a tech support position open. I have posted an ad on Craigslist. The posting clearly says to go to our website and apply online. It specifically says "no phone calls."

So far, in under 5 hours, I have gotten 12 resumes via email and one phone call. The cream of the crop thus far has been one woman who not only responded via email, she misspelled the word "sincerely" in her email. And, on top of that, when I opened her resume, it was a blank template! Yes. You read that right. The resume had no information. It was a Word template that still contained the place markers saying things like, "[Type objective here]".

In this economy why in the name of all that is good and holy would you do anything other than triple check to make sure you are making the best possible impression you can? I am bloody flabbergasted.

One more reason why "apply online" is for losers. I've never met anyone who did so and actually got the job, unless the job was either an entry level cattle-call or they were overqualified.

Personally, I find it insulting that any employer thinks I should spend my time filling out their generic online application. Obviously, they don't want to bother actually looking at resumes, so they shift the work of sorting potential employees into a computerized format that allows them to eliminate people based on pre-determined criteria. I'm sure this works out quite well for them, but not for any intelligent person out there looking to get ahead by learning something new, or trying a different field than the one they're in. Companies looking for people this way are sending a clear message at the outset: Our employees are interchangeable, and we don't care to work very hard in finding them.

[friedo]

I just looked through another stack today. One guy said he was familiar with the "Aparche" web server.

Another put his Hotmail email address right on the very top. At least, I think it was Hotmail, since the address was hisname@hotmial.com.

[Quintas]

They probably think (usually correctly) that the 'online application' is simply going to disappear into a black hole, so they figure, "What the hell, let me TRY to make some human contact".

My last job search taught me that 'apply online' is about as effective as taping a sign to my chest and walking around the grounds of whatever company I was applying for.

Saying you are familiar with 'Aparche' is just stupid though. lol.

[Smitty]

Originally Posted by Borborygmi

Hey, [Your name] is doing the best she can. The skills needed for [Describe your career goal or ideal job] probably have little or no correlation with the skills needed for creating a perfect resume. I say bring [Your name] in for an interview... you just might discover she has the experience in [Professional or technical skill], [Professional or technical skill], and [Professional or technical skill] that you are looking for.

Now THAT is good funny!

[Rand Rover]

The cynic in me wonders if some of these inept job seekers apply just to check the "I tried" box so they can continue collecting unemployment.

[Sampiro]

My favorite application I ever got was the one whose cover letter was addressed "Dear Mama".

[Smitty]

Originally Posted by Robot Arm

Hmm, I'm looking for a job. Where are you?

Houston, TX

[Jayn_Newell]

Originally Posted by friedo

Another put his Hotmail email address right on the very top. At least, I think it was Hotmail, since the address was hisname@hotmial.com.

Colour me dense (it won't be news to me) but what's the exact problem here?

[Giles]

Originally Posted by Jayn_Newell

Colour me dense (it won't be news to me) but what's the exact problem here?

mial for mail

[Quintas]

I applied and actually got an interview with a local cable company once. The 'interview' consisted of 2 tests. One was a technical knowledge test. The other was some version of the Keirsey temper test. Aced the tech side but was dismissed because my 'personality profile' was of the wrong sort. So idiocy comes from both directions.

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by Jayn_Newell

Colour me dense (it won't be news to me) but what's the exact problem here?

Take a close look at the email address.

SPOILER:

hotmail, not hotmial.

ETA: and color me slow to type.

[Jayn_Newell]

Yup, I'm dense *facepalms*

[Frank]

Originally Posted by Smitty

Houston, TX

Robot Arm! You've made a good first impression!

You're on your own now.

[Jragon]

Originally Posted by Lizard

One more reason why "apply online" is for losers. I've never met anyone who did so and actually got the job, unless the job was either an entry level cattle-call or they were overqualified.

Personally, I find it insulting that any employer thinks I should spend my time filling out their generic online application. Obviously, they don't want to bother actually looking at resumes, so they shift the work of sorting potential employees into a computerized format that allows them to eliminate people based on pre-determined criteria. I'm sure this works out quite well for them, but not for any intelligent person out there looking to get ahead by learning something new, or trying a different field than the one they're in. Companies looking for people this way are sending a clear message at the outset: Our employees are interchangeable, and we don't care to work very hard in finding them.

That's because they use the wrong keywords.

[ZipperJJ]

I spent an hour helping a friend fill out the online app for the local Valvoline Instant Oil Change place. Seemed like the "test" took forever and there were reams of personality trait questions. He didn't seem to be doing too bad with his answers - he wasn't lying just to get them "right" but nothing he said seemed opposite to what I expect from Valvoline employees. Anyway, after all that the application just bluntly said "sorry you're not a fit" and that was the end of that.

What a joke I can see why people don't like to apply online!

Then again, I can't see why people are sending inane shit via email, either...

[catsix]

Originally Posted by Quintas

They probably think (usually correctly) that the 'online application' is simply going to disappear into a black hole, so they figure, "What the hell, let me TRY to make some human contact".

My last job search taught me that 'apply online' is about as effective as taping a sign to my chest and walking around the grounds of whatever company I was applying for.

Saying you are familiar with 'Aparche' is just stupid though. lol.

I work with a guy who calls this particular web server software appa chey. Took me a while to figure out what the hell he's talking about.

He also has some ... personal space problems. He likes to be inside everyone's but his own.

[tdn]

To who it may consern...

i am intersted in aply-ing for a job as a english teach. please see my inclosed resumay. i have 13 years teaching experence and wood make a fine edition to you scool.

sinserly,
robert j pigglesbottom

Not on a sheet of notebook paper. On HALF a sheet of notebook paper. TORN in half. And written in pencil. I'd like to say that this was a one-time letter. Nope. It happened just about every week.

[Dogzilla]

I was hiring editors once. I received a resume from an editor who wrote, "... and I'm very detailed-oriented."

Erm. No, you're not. Sorry, honey.

:: chucks another resume into bin ::

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by tdn

sinserly,
robert j pigglesbottom

How could you not hire a guy with a name like that?

[Oakminster]

I just went through the process of hiring another secretary. Can't tell you how many folks list their email address as some variation of "SexyMcHottie@freeisp.com". Made my first round of cuts much easier.

[Trepa Mayfield]

What's so bad about a free isp?

[DiosaBellissima]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

I just went through the process of hiring another secretary. Can't tell you how many folks list their email address as some variation of "SexyMcHottie@freeisp.com". Made my first round of cuts much easier.

Oh, even better: I was looking through a directory of California Enrolled Agents, as we were looking for someone to contact (duh). Some dude's email was something like: DOMDADDY6969@HOTMAIL.COM

Published. In a professional magazine/directory thing.

[Jayn_Newell]

Originally Posted by tdn

Not on a sheet of notebook paper. On HALF a sheet of notebook paper. TORN in half. And written in pencil. I'd like to say that this was a one-time letter. Nope. It happened just about every week.

Same handwriting?

[ElvisL1ves]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

I just went through the process of hiring another secretary. Can't tell you how many folks list their email address as some variation of "SexyMcHottie@freeisp.com". Made my first round of cuts much easier.

You didn't say which way the cut went.

[The Hamster King]

Originally Posted by pedescribe

What's so bad about a free isp?

It's not the free isp that's the problem, it's the sex fiend user ID.

[Frank]

Originally Posted by Pochacco

It's not the free isp that's the problem, it's the sex fiend user ID.

Something wrong with "SexyMcHottie@Oakminster.org"?

[descamisado]

Originally Posted by ZipperJJ

I spent an hour helping a friend fill out the online app for the local Valvoline Instant Oil Change place. Seemed like the "test" took forever and there were reams of personality trait questions. He didn't seem to be doing too bad with his answers - he wasn't lying just to get them "right" but nothing he said seemed opposite to what I expect from Valvoline employees. Anyway, after all that the application just bluntly said "sorry you're not a fit" and that was the end of that.

What a joke I can see why people don't like to apply online!

Then again, I can't see why people are sending inane shit via email, either...

That's bad enough. I just recently filled out an online application for Time Warner Cable. Downloaded my resume, which the software then searched to fill in the application (I only had to make one correction). They even asked salary requirements and a couple of other questions.

I got a reply right away that said my qualifications and other answers fit their criteria for the position I was seeking and that someone would be contacting me in the next week to set up an interview.

That was 2 months ago.

[Critical1]

Originally Posted by pbbth

I once received a resume from a woman who typed her entire resume in strikethrough. It is mind boggling that she thought anyone would be able to read something like this! I threw it away. Other jewels in that batch included resumes with cover letters for completely different companies and resumes with objectives like, "I would like to write for television someday" when applying for a health insurance position.

Originally Posted by pbbth

This was a word document. I don't even care if it was an accident, I wasn't about to try and decipher that mess!

so instead of hitting control+a and clicking off strike through you tossed it out? Heh,

of course if she did it on purpose sure but if it was a formatting bug then I think this makes you the weak link here...

[JSexton]

Got a resume last week. Looked good and professional, but the listed email address was HighLyfe420@[somefreeisp].

Binned. Is it that hard to just get a throwaway that looks professional just for resumes?

[Robot Arm]

Originally Posted by Smitty

Houston, TX

That's a little farther than I was hoping to commute.

I am rigorous almost to the point of obsession on getting the details right when I submit a résumé. I put the accents on the e's in 'résumé', for one thing (hang your head, Dogzilla); and I looked up the difference between 'farther' and 'further' just for this post. I don't know if it's ever done me any good, or if the people I'm submitting to even notice.

[zweisamkeit]

I remember a few years back, I was looking at getting a part time job at Borders while at college. You had to apply online, which was a multi-multi page multiple choice bullshit thing... and you had to apply individually for EACH GODDAMNED LOCATION! WHAT THE FUCK SENSE DOES THAT MAKE? One application should be able to be sent to all local Borders shops!

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by Smitty

I have a tech support position open. I have posted an ad on Craigslist. The posting clearly says to go to our website and apply online. It specifically says "no phone calls."

But you'll STILL get phone calls because the current job hunting gurus say ALWAYS make a phone call even if you're told not to call!

In fact, what I've been hearing lately is apply on-line, fax resume, call, AND show up in person unannounced! Even if you're specifically told not to do any of the above, you must still do all of the above to impress a prospective employer with how much you want the job and how much you really, really, really love them. Far as I can see, that would only work for jobs as a paparazzi or a stalker (like there's a difference?)

[Mr. Excellent]

Originally Posted by Lizard

One more reason why "apply online" is for losers. I've never met anyone who did so and actually got the job, unless the job was either an entry level cattle-call or they were overqualified.

Personally, I find it insulting that any employer thinks I should spend my time filling out their generic online application. Obviously, they don't want to bother actually looking at resumes, so they shift the work of sorting potential employees into a computerized format that allows them to eliminate people based on pre-determined criteria. I'm sure this works out quite well for them, but not for any intelligent person out there looking to get ahead by learning something new, or trying a different field than the one they're in. Companies looking for people this way are sending a clear message at the outset: Our employees are interchangeable, and we don't care to work very hard in finding them.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with you. Online applications are good tools when you anticipate a *lot* of applicants. That can be the case when you're hiring low-level employees, true - but it can also be the case with very desirable, higher-level jobs. For example, the federal Attorney Honors programs (which hire law students straight out of school) and the Presidential Management Fellowships are both *very* prestigious, and both use online applications. Of course, neither program uses them *exclusively* - but they're used for the first steps.

[Estilicon]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

I just went through the process of hiring another secretary. Can't tell you how many folks list their email address as some variation of "SexyMcHottie@freeisp.com". Made my first round of cuts much easier.

I understand what you are saying. So, was Miss Sexy Machottie sexy and hot?

[Really Not All That Bright]

Yeah, but she can't type for shit.

[JThunder]

And she wasn't Scottish.

[Revenant Threshold]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

In fact, what I've been hearing lately is apply on-line, fax resume, call, AND show up in person unannounced! Even if you're specifically told not to do any of the above, you must still do all of the above to impress a prospective employer with how much you want the job and how much you really, really, really love them. Far as I can see, that would only work for jobs as a paparazzi or a stalker (like there's a difference?)

See, this is the kind of advice i'm having to ignore during my soul-crushing job search (although I think that may be redundant). Friends and the odd family member saying, "Oh, it says you should apply through their system, but you should send in a couple of emails too, to show you're serious. And write letters as well! Them saying not too is just to weed out the people who don't care as much". I'm afraid you would have to count me in as one of the idiot annoyances in the past (though the more sane approach doesn't seem to be doing much better so far, alas).

[Rand Rover]

Originally Posted by Lizard

Personally, I find it insulting that any employer thinks I should spend my time filling out their generic online application. Obviously, they don't want to bother actually looking at resumes, so they shift the work of sorting potential employees into a computerized format that allows them to eliminate people based on pre-determined criteria. I'm sure this works out quite well for them, but not for any intelligent person out there looking to get ahead by learning something new, or trying a different field than the one they're in. Companies looking for people this way are sending a clear message at the outset: Our employees are interchangeable, and we don't care to work very hard in finding them.

Wow, we have a new candidate for the poster with the most well-developed sense of entitlement. The last part of your post makes some sense (i.e., by arguing that the employer is hurting itself by using an online application), but the first part is pure entitled whining ("but I don't WANNA fill out an online application, wah!").

[Isamu]

Originally Posted by friedo

Another put his Hotmail email address right on the very top. At least, I think it was Hotmail, since the address was hisname@hotmial.com.

Perhaps it's a freudian slip - he's willing to work for 3 hot-mi-als a day.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Originally Posted by JSexton

Got a resume last week. Looked good and professional, but the listed email address was HighLyfe420@[somefreeisp].

Binned. Is it that hard to just get a throwaway that looks professional just for resumes?

And does the job in question require drug testing?

[MikeG]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

But you'll STILL get phone calls because the current job hunting gurus say ALWAYS make a phone call even if you're told not to call!

In fact, what I've been hearing lately is apply on-line, fax resume, call, AND show up in person unannounced! Even if you're specifically told not to do any of the above, you must still do all of the above to impress a prospective employer with how much you want the job and how much you really, really, really love them. Far as I can see, that would only work for jobs as a paparazzi or a stalker (like there's a difference?)

I've been job hunting since the beginning of December and the best job interview I got was due to me applying online, then going to the local office and speaking with the office manager and dropping off a resume. The regional manager happened to be in IL that week so he called me in two days later. Unfortunately the company put in a hiring freeze across the board (I checked, one day there were 40 jobs up on Monster and Careerbuilder, the next there were none) but he says when the freeze is lifted I'm going to be the first one hired.

[Saintly Loser]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

I just went through the process of hiring another secretary. Can't tell you how many folks list their email address as some variation of "SexyMcHottie@freeisp.com". Made my first round of cuts much easier.

Oh, God, yes. I'm the secretarial services and word processing manager for a fair-sized Manhattan law firm, so I'm involved in quite a bit of secretarial hiring. I see quite a bit of this. And even when I don't, I'll get an e-mail from some secretary who's going to be late or out sick, and it will be from some address like "HQQTRS@freebie.com", or (more likely) "luvzfuzzykutekittens@makemesick.com". The e-mail will say "hi! I'm not feeling well today and won't be coming in." If I'm lucky, she'll include her actual real name somewhere so I'll know exactly which cute kitty lover won't be in today.

[Leaper]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

But you'll STILL get phone calls because the current job hunting gurus say ALWAYS make a phone call even if you're told not to call!

In fact, what I've been hearing lately is apply on-line, fax resume, call, AND show up in person unannounced! Even if you're specifically told not to do any of the above, you must still do all of the above to impress a prospective employer with how much you want the job and how much you really, really, really love them.

Oh, crap, I should've been doing all of that all this time???

My instincts were wrong! :P