Moth, why can you not fly like an insect should?

[HumanMonkeyGod]

So you managed to find your way through the window about five minutes before I was going to turn off the light and go to bed. After about four minutes of useless flapping about, you made your way out from behind the curtains - success! Behold the glory of the bulb! You then fell/flew straight into a shadow, perhaps to gather your strength for a celebratory fly-by. I saw you there. I could've snuffed your life out so easily, but I was feeling kindly. What a fool I am!
Then darkness fell, because I was going to sleep. I even left the curtain half open so the weakly moonlit sky might attract you back outside. It sort of worked, I think it would have worked if your wings could fly properly. Any other flying bug would've just zipped up and then spent some time flying against the glass until they found the open window. But not you. Oh no. You spent about half an hour flapping about noisily at floor level, apparently convinced your shitty wings could help you bore straight through the wall. Then you rested a few minutes before continuing to flap nowhere. By then it sounded like your wings were being powered by a battery steadily running down. Not any less noisy, but slower and with reduced optimism.
Somehow you gained some altitude and made it onto my bed and flapped about ME. Because I'd really felt I was missing something until then, and the fine layer of scales you dusted over everything turned out to be just what I needed. Why didn't you just get a pair of regular solid transparent wings like diptera or flying hymenoptera? They work great! Oh, you want scales for camouflage. Well, why not one set of fakeys to put your pretty pictures on, and a pair of real wings to provide flight power? And why scales for fuck's sake? Didn't wanna splash out for a permanent job? Fucking little bastard.
Maybe if you had a pair of wings that worked decently you wouldn't have to paint yourself like a piece of wood to evade the enemy, you could just, you know, FLY AWAY, instead of jerkily flapping about as if you're suspended on a thread being pulled by someone in orbit and buffeted by seven different wind systems inbetween. I believe you did finally reach the window, but my ears had accepted your flapping as background white noise and I was drifting to a better place. Did you find freedom? I doubt it, I'll probably find your dried out body and accompanying scaley mess next time I clean. What did moths do before humans started lighting up the night? Can't you go back to it?

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by HumanMonkeyGod

Did you find freedom? I doubt it, I'll probably find your dried out body and accompanying scaley mess next time I clean.

More likely he flew into your mouth while you were asleep and you swallowed him.

Sweet dreams!

[Lobsang]

Moths use the moon to navigate. Inside your house the lightbulb is the moon.

[Jackmannii]

Best moth pitting ever.

[Lobsang]

Have there been others?


It'd have been better if it wasn't a stream of consciousness. As it is I couldn't read it. I don't have that kind of attention span.

[Ogre]

Originally Posted by Lobsang

Have there been others?


It'd have been better if it wasn't a stream of consciousness. As it is I couldn't read it. I don't have that kind of attention span.

...and your wings are floppy and weird, besides...

[kaylasdad99]

Reformatted for your protection:

Originally Posted by HumanMonkeyGod

So you managed to find your way through the window about five minutes before I was going to turn off the light and go to bed. After about four minutes of useless flapping about, you made your way out from behind the curtains - success! Behold the glory of the bulb! You then fell/flew straight into a shadow, perhaps to gather your strength for a celebratory fly-by. I saw you there. I could've snuffed your life out so easily, but I was feeling kindly. What a fool I am!

Then darkness fell, because I was going to sleep. I even left the curtain half open so the weakly moonlit sky might attract you back outside. It sort of worked, I think it would have worked if your wings could fly properly. Any other flying bug would've just zipped up and then spent some time flying against the glass until they found the open window.

But not you.

Oh no.

You spent about half an hour flapping about noisily at floor level, apparently convinced your shitty wings could help you bore straight through the wall. Then you rested a few minutes before continuing to flap nowhere. By then it sounded like your wings were being powered by a battery steadily running down. Not any less noisy, but slower and with reduced optimism.

Somehow you gained some altitude and made it onto my bed and flapped about ME. Because I'd really felt I was missing something until then, and the fine layer of scales you dusted over everything turned out to be just what I needed.

Why didn't you just get a pair of regular solid transparent wings like diptera or flying hymenoptera? They work great! Oh, you want scales for camouflage. Well, why not one set of fakeys to put your pretty pictures on, and a pair of real wings to provide flight power?

And why scales for fuck's sake? Didn't wanna splash out for a permanent job? Fucking little bastard.

Maybe if you had a pair of wings that worked decently you wouldn't have to paint yourself like a piece of wood to evade the enemy, you could just, you know, FLY AWAY, instead of jerkily flapping about as if you're suspended on a thread being pulled by someone in orbit and buffeted by seven different wind systems inbetween.

I believe you did finally reach the window, but my ears had accepted your flapping as background white noise and I was drifting to a better place.

Did you find freedom? I doubt it, I'll probably find your dried out body and accompanying scaley mess next time I clean.

What did moths do before humans started lighting up the night? Can't you go back to it?

[Freudian Slit]

Poor moth. He just has a wish for wings that work.

Anyway, I concur. Best moth pitting ever.

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

Moths don't fly good like a hexapod should?

[shijinn]

nice. could you do one on "flying" cockroaches too? i think cockroaches take to the air simply because they can. they seem to know shit about navimagation nor direction..

[Beware of Doug]

Fly, with your exquisitely tuned vision and reflexes, why can you not find the open portion of the window and GTFO of my home?

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

Originally Posted by shijinn

i think cockroaches take to the air simply because they can.

I'm aware that cockroaches have functional flying wings, but in all my years of observing--well, keeping an eye out for--the Blattaria*, I've never seen one fly.

I'm actually okay with this.


*I've always assumed that the "blatt" root in cockroach taxonomy was an onomatopoeia derived from the sound of swatting one of the little fuckers.

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by Beware of Doug

Fly, with your exquisitely tuned vision and reflexes, why can you not find the open portion of the window and GTFO of my home?

Ain't it the truth? You can have one window cracked open an inch and a fly will dart in like it was shot out of a rifle (or, uh, blowgun). But open all your side windows, your sunroof, and maybe even your doors, and the damn things will beat themselves to death trying to get out through the front or rear windshield. Why in the hell is it that they can they so easily find such a narrow way in and then can't find their way back out even if you practically take the damn top off?

[kaylasdad99]

The reason the fly came into the car in the first place was to beg you to kill it. It's not going anywhere voluntarily. Except back into the reincarnation hopper, wishing for a better number on its ticket this time around. If only you'll get on the stick and grab the nearest swatting implement.

I mean, it's a freakin' fly fercryinoutloud. How satisfying an existence can that be?

[Starving Artist]

[Freudian Slit]

Originally Posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew

I'm aware that cockroaches have functional flying wings, but in all my years of observing--well, keeping an eye out for--the Blattaria*, I've never seen one fly.

That's because they don't fly. Ever.

::hands over ears:: LA LA LA LA LA, NO SUCH THING AS PALMETTO BUGS, LA LA LA!!!!

[Blank Slate]

Originally Posted by shijinn

nice. could you do one on "flying" cockroaches too? i think cockroaches take to the air simply because they can. they seem to know shit about navimagation nor direction..

I was wondering if navimagation was some unfamiliar term, so I googled it and your post was the fourth hit. Googlebot go fast.

[SpectBrain]

Than there are beetles. The B-29 of the insect world. Theres nothing like waking up at three in the morning to what sounds like a solo bomber, engines humming at max power. bouncing loudly off the walls.

Just another summer evening in the deep south.

[BMax]

Originally Posted by SpectBrain

Than there are beetles. The B-29 of the insect world. Theres nothing like waking up at three in the morning to what sounds like a solo bomber, engines humming at max power. bouncing loudly off the walls.

Just another summer evening in the deep south.

A head-on collision with a june bug on a Texas highway got me to start wearing my helmet when riding my motorcycle.

[tds1273]

Just be glad he didn't decide to go for a dip in the glass of water you keep bedside to blindly drink from through out the night. Nothing like a big clump of soggy fuzz and scales to wake you up in the AM.

[Bryan Ekers]

Originally Posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew

I'm aware that cockroaches have functional flying wings, but in all my years of observing--well, keeping an eye out for--the Blattaria*, I've never seen one fly.

I have, in Bangladesh. Thirty years later, it haunts me.

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers

I have, in Bangladesh. Thirty years later, it haunts me.

Ummm, I believe Freudian Slit had a "LA LA LA LA LA" a few posts ago that effectively invalidates your experience.

No take-backs on those, y'know.