There are not enough smacky smilies in the world...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was at my mother’s doctor’s farm, playing with the kittens.

One of the kittens had a bird. Now, I’m not one of those people who get weepy over predators killing poor cute furry animals. It’s part of nature, and carnivores need to eat, too. And this kitten was in training to be a barn mouser.

But here I was, watching the cat trying to kill the poor bird right in front of me. It wasn’t a quick, clean kill, either- The kitten was pouncing on it and biting it and rabbit kicking it, but the bird was still alive. I distracted the kitteh, and took the bird inside the doctor’s house to assess the damage.

I found the doctor in the kitchen, along with my mother and his Weimaraner dog. I showed the bird to Dr. Voodoo.

“Can it still fly?”, he asked.

I opened my hands, and the bird fluttered weakly around the room.

Did you know that Weimaraners are birding dogs? I didn’t.

CRUNCH

Bye bye, birdie.

:smack:

Also, I got bitten by a psychotic duck.

2

Ha! At least you ended its suffering. I saved a tiny nestling from a barn cat when I was a kid, only to stumble as I was standing up and step on it. The resulting mess was enough to convince the cat to stop playing and just eat it.

Red in tooth, claw, and foot.

3

Ha! Doc totally set you up for that one!

4

Must have been a mutant duck 'cos ducks don’t have teeth.

I think you mean pecked or billed or summink

5

The OP reminds me of a Far Side cartoon.

A butterfly has emerged from its cocoon…

… And got caught in the adjacent spiderweb.

6

Yeah, I meant “repeatedly pinched in a painful matter”. I’ve still got a nice pink duck hickey on the back of my hand.

And the thing is, this duck bites people he likes. Apparently, he was quite enamored of me. My brother, he ignored, but he kept trying his darndest to take a chunck out of my arm.