so exactly why is asking “excuse me, where is the toilet?” so offensive in the US?
In Australia, UK and Asian countries where english is commonly spoken thats most likely what you’d say if you’re at a restaurant and needed to go.
Ask that in the US and the waiters would look at you in horror… what the crap? why does the US have such a big deal about using the actual word for the place?
I find this somewhat perplexing too, but when someone refers to the toilet here in the US, we aren’t refering to the place (the bathroom, restroom, boys/girls room).
“Toilet” specifically refers to the white porcelain fixture that you sit your naked butt on and defecate. That’s where the connection becomes a bit embarrassing.
I don’t think it’s considered offensive, just tacky - low-class. It’s like saying, “I gotta piss.”
The word “toilet” was once a euphemism too. It originally meant “the act of dressing oneself” or “a place where one dressed oneself.” So in using the word “toilet” rather than “restroom” you’re just using a word that was introduced longer ago as a euphemism.
How would “Where’s the bog?” go down?
It’s not offensive, just unusual. In American English, “Toilet” refers specifically to the plumbing fixture in which one customarily deposits their shit. So saying “where is the toilet” is akin to asking “where can I eject massive quantities of feces and make loud fart noises with abandon?”
Instead, one asks “where is the bathroom” or “where is the restroom,” which is akin to, “where is a room that has a toilet in it where I may engage in unspecified activities which I am too polite to mention?”
This way, you’re covered whether you need to crap or just snort a line.
Considering that ‘bog’ in the US means swamp, I doubt many would know what you’re asking.
“Uh, 20 miles to the south, and hang a left at the big red barn…”
In the UK “toilet” is considered to be a lower class word by experts on good manners and etiquette. According to them the correct word to use is “lavatory”.
They are the same people who look down on the word “sweet” (for the third course of a meal) and insist that the correct word is “pudding”.
We’ve narrowed “pudding” down to be very specific over here. Without a qualifier, a “pudding” is an amorphous, sweetened substance, what you over there would call a custard or blancmange. We need the qualifier to refer to some of your puddings, like “Yorkshire pudding” or “plum pudding”. Otherwise it’s the smooth blob type we’re talking about.
It’s not offensive.
This sounds like an opinion poll not a question for a factual answer.
You want to take a bath? Would a shower do? This is a restaurant; we don’t have bathing facilities. Oh? You want to shit? Then you need the toilet which is in this room all by itself.
“Rest?” are you tired? You can rest right where you are. We can even bring you a pillow.
I only have one data set. I worked for an American and we had this conversation. Her take was that the toilet referred to the apparatus used for excretion. I explained that in New Zealand (which is where I was at the time), when we said we were going to the toilet, we were referring to the room in which said apparatus resides. She was happy with that explanation.
No, but that’s exactly what it means in UK / Australian english as well. The “toilet” is both the porcelain bowl and the room containing it. We just don’t see any embaressment in saying thats what we want to use.
I’m trying to understand “toilet” is not in any way a swear word like “piss” is, so asking where it is shouldn’t cause any offense… but it does? why?
I ask this all the time. I have never noticed any odd responses. Everyone needs to go.
Don’t forget kids, in European this phrase is translated as “¿Ou est el boggo?”
Well according to this Wiki article :- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dessert
Would you ask, “Is there someplace where I may go to defecate?” No swear words there.
**Sailor **- what do they call it in Spain?
Piss isn’t a swear word either. It’s just mildly rude to say this in polite company. Yes, you can use it with your buddies while tossing back beers. It;s definitely low-class at a decent restaurant.
That’s not normal. Most Americans will refer to the room as the toilet.
No I wouldn’t, but thats because the object that I use is not caused the “defecator”, if it was maybe I would.
If I need to urinate / defacate, I need to use the toilet, thats the polite common word for the object, but I can’t say “where is the toilet”, in the US… thats what I find odd.