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Old 10-15-2017, 11:38 AM
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Worst opening line of song lyrics

Buying groceries yesterday and the insipid strains of England Dan and John Ford Coley's "Really Like to See You Tonight" leached out of the P.A.

Their oh-so-cazsh* opening line "Hello, yeah, it's been a while/Not much, how about you" made me think - ok - are there really any other song lyric openings that are total and complete ass, like that one?

If you think so - have at it.

*could never figure out the diminutive for "casual".
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  #2  
Old 10-15-2017, 11:56 AM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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I love that opening line.

And the song too, actually.

ETA: I hope this isn't regarded as thread shitting. In a sort of reverse manner.

Last edited by Leaffan; 10-15-2017 at 11:57 AM.
  #3  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:02 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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^ I'll back you up, Leaffan; the real bad line is "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in..." had no idea for years what they were sayin'.

The opening line is no worse that ELO's, "Telephone Line."

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 10-15-2017 at 12:02 PM.
  #4  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:08 PM
Son of a Rich Son of a Rich is offline
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
^ I'll back you up, Leaffan; the real bad line is "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in..." had no idea for years what they were sayin'.
I just listened to it, and it still sounds like "meridian".
  #5  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:13 PM
Lucas Jackson Lucas Jackson is offline
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
^ I'll back you up, Leaffan; the real bad line is "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in..." had no idea for years what they were sayin'.

The opening line is no worse that ELO's, "Telephone Line."
Agreed, though I like the ELO song better.

.

Last edited by Lucas Jackson; 10-15-2017 at 12:14 PM. Reason: Fuck you autocorrect
  #6  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:34 PM
DSYoungEsq DSYoungEsq is offline
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
^ I'll back you up, Leaffan; the real bad line is "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in..." had no idea for years what they were sayin'.

The opening line is no worse that ELO's, "Telephone Line."
Interestingly, that's the EXACT song that leapt to my mind. Probably because of the similarity of the words in the lines.
  #7  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:38 PM
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How about "Jeremiah was a bullfrog"? I like the song, but the first verse is kind of stupid.
  #8  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:50 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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I don't understand why there's confusion regarding "I'm not talking 'bout moving in." It's been blatantly obvious to me forever.

Now, those warm winds blowing the stars around is another issue. ��
  #9  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
... the real bad line is "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in"...

For some reason when I was a kid I heard it through crappy PA speakers as "I'm not talkin' 'bout religion".

Though I'm not exactly excoriating about it - the Beatles getting all quotidian with "Friiiiiii-day morning at niiiiiiiiine o'clock, as the day begins." didn't really smack of...something or other...to me.

"Goodbye to you my trusted friend."
Terry Jacks.
"Seasons in the Sun"
Just a little lachrymose, perhaps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
Now, those warm winds blowing the stars around is another issue. ��

Indeed, the warm wind and blowing stars needed to be liquid papered out of existence.
  #10  
Old 10-15-2017, 12:57 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
I don't understand why there's confusion regarding "I'm not talking 'bout moving in." It's been blatantly obvious to me forever.

Now, those warm winds blowing the stars around is another issue. ��
Yeah, but you say, "...talkin' 'boot movin' in."
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Old 10-15-2017, 01:09 PM
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Dang - that should be "Wednesday morning at 5 o'clock..."
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Old 10-15-2017, 01:10 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Anna Sun, that shit song from that shit band...

Screen falling off the door door hanging off the hinges my
Feet are still sore my back is on the fringes
We tore up the walls we slept on couches
We lifted this house we lifted this house


What Crap!
  #13  
Old 10-15-2017, 01:57 PM
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Love, love me do...

[ducks and runs]
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  #14  
Old 10-15-2017, 02:16 PM
koeeoaddi koeeoaddi is online now
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Muskrat, muskrat candlelight...
  #15  
Old 10-15-2017, 03:26 PM
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"I saw her today/I saw her face"

"Needles and Pins"

Bit of an in medias res-sounding affectation for my liking.
  #16  
Old 10-15-2017, 04:32 PM
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"We Built this City"
  #17  
Old 10-15-2017, 04:46 PM
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I love Styx, and will sing along to the entire Paradise Theatre album, but the first words of its first song, "A.D. 1928", are a little weird.

"Tonight's the night we'll make history, as sure as dogs can fly..."

Um, what?
  #18  
Old 10-15-2017, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by ekedolphin View Post
I love Styx, and will sing along to the entire Paradise Theatre album, but the first words of its first song, "A.D. 1928", are a little weird.

"Tonight's the night we'll make history, as sure as dogs can fly..."

Um, what?

With those scofflaws, I'll go with "Laaaaayy-deee, when you're with me I'm smiiii-liiiiiiiiiing..."
  #19  
Old 10-15-2017, 05:06 PM
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Not the biggest burn, but Steve Miller's "Some people call me the Space Cowboy" from "The Joker" is annoying "look at what I've done" self-referencing.
  #20  
Old 10-15-2017, 05:24 PM
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Wow - it's coming to me in a torrent of something-given wonder.....

"Luh-uuuhvin yoooouuuuu, is easy 'cause you're beautiful..."


And no, it's not just the way it's sung (I'm doing that simply to hammer home the grossness) - it is the lyrics too.
  #21  
Old 10-15-2017, 08:10 PM
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Supertramp's "Take a look a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one I got." ("Logical Song")
An example of Roger Hodgson being a little twee, cute.
  #22  
Old 10-15-2017, 08:18 PM
Don Draper Don Draper is offline
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The line "The world is a vampire" from Bullet the Butterfly's Wing by Smashing Pumpkins always grated on my nerves for some reason.
  #23  
Old 10-15-2017, 08:22 PM
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I love the Misplaced Childhood album from Marillion, but only once I get past the opening line of:

"Huddled In the safety of a pseudo silk kimono
wearing bracelets of smoke, naked of understanding..."

Boy does that line shout "we're fancy art-rockers!"

Last edited by It's Not Rocket Surgery!; 10-15-2017 at 08:22 PM.
  #24  
Old 10-15-2017, 10:58 PM
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The rare Kinks track, When I Turn Off the Living Room Light, is one of those "you're funny looking but I still love you" songs. It's a pretty good song, but the opening line is "Who cares if you're Jewish/and your breath smells of garlic". Even factoring in irony/sarcasm, that song nearly kills the song at the start.
  #25  
Old 10-15-2017, 11:30 PM
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"Have you heard, about the lonesome loser..."
  #26  
Old Yesterday, 12:01 AM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Draper View Post
The line "The world is a vampire" from Bullet the Butterfly's Wing by Smashing Pumpkins always grated on my nerves for some reason.
Yeah, that's bad!
  #27  
Old Yesterday, 12:04 AM
DooWahDiddy DooWahDiddy is offline
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No conversation about horrible lyrics is complete without mentioning "MacArthur Park". I can't even bring myself to copy and paste it, or link to it; find it yourself, if you dare.
  #28  
Old Yesterday, 06:26 AM
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I just listened to it, and it still sounds like "meridian".
Yes!!!!


I second this. For years I thought he was saying "meridian"
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  #29  
Old Yesterday, 07:50 AM
Dung Beetle Dung Beetle is offline
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Muskrat, muskrat candlelight...
You stop that right now!

Funny, I was just listening to "Play It All Night Long" by Warren Zevon on the way to work this morning and was impressed by the awfulness of its opening line:

Grandpa pissed his pants again, he don't give a damn...
  #30  
Old Yesterday, 07:53 AM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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I second this. For years I thought he was saying "meridian"
Me too.
  #31  
Old Yesterday, 08:46 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Yeah, that's bad!
I love the Pumpkins, but Billy’s lyrics often smack of bad angsty adolescent poetry. While “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” does make me slightly cringe, “Ava Adore”’s opening line is the one that really makes me want to gag: “It is you that I adore/you will always be my whore.”
  #32  
Old Yesterday, 08:49 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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"Please lock me away and don't allow the day here inside where I hide with my loneliness"

World Without Love, written by Paul McCartney and sung by Peter and Gordon. John Lennon thought it was the worst opening line of a song every.
  #33  
Old Yesterday, 09:08 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
"Please lock me away and don't allow the day here inside where I hide with my loneliness"

World Without Love, written by Paul McCartney and sung by Peter and Gordon. John Lennon thought it was the worst opening line of a song every.
See, that's one of many written-out lyrics that look goofy on the page, but, when sung, actually sound quite good and natural. I think it's actually quite a beautiful line that captures the feeling of adolescent longing for love. There's a youthful innocence/naivete about it.

Last edited by pulykamell; Yesterday at 09:09 AM.
  #34  
Old Yesterday, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
I don't understand why there's confusion regarding "I'm not talking 'bout moving in." It's been blatantly obvious to me forever.

Now, those warm winds blowing the stars around is another issue. ��
HAHAHA!! That was my first thought too. I thought for years they were saying - warm winds blowing the stars around. I still sing it that way!
  #35  
Old Yesterday, 09:31 AM
TRC4941 TRC4941 is offline
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No conversation about horrible lyrics is complete without mentioning "MacArthur Park". I can't even bring myself to copy and paste it, or link to it; find it yourself, if you dare.
Agree wholeheartedly!! UGH
  #36  
Old Yesterday, 09:33 AM
Dinsdale Dinsdale is offline
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Sorry to go 180 on you, but this thread has me unable to think of anything other than one of my fave first lines:

I wish to the lord I'd never been born
or died when I was young

Cheery little sentiment from "I Truly Understand That You Love Another Man." Love me them Carolina Chocolate Drops!
Sorry for the digression...
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  #37  
Old Yesterday, 09:37 AM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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"I walk 47 miles of barbed wire"

A bizarre opening line to a bizarre song. The singer brags about his collection of dead snakes and human skulls and then asks Arlene to take a walk with him.

Nobody ever saw Arlene again.
  #38  
Old Yesterday, 10:20 AM
DSYoungEsq DSYoungEsq is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DooWahDiddy View Post
No conversation about horrible lyrics is complete without mentioning "MacArthur Park". I can't even bring myself to copy and paste it, or link to it; find it yourself, if you dare.
Except, as opening lines go, that one wasn't so bad:

"Spring was never waiting for us, girl;"



As for England Dan and John Ford Coley, I know there are actually lyrics sites that use the misheard lyrics about the wind and the stars.
  #39  
Old Yesterday, 10:30 AM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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As for England Dan and John Ford Coley, I know there are actually lyrics sites that use the misheard lyrics about the wind and the stars.
I know this has been debated interminably, here and elsewhere, but does anyone have a from-the-horse's-mouth, "that settles it once and for all" cite for what the official lyrics are?
  #40  
Old Yesterday, 11:26 AM
DrCube DrCube is online now
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It's "I'm not talking 'bout millennium", guys. He's reassuring the woman he's wooing that he isn't in a crazy cult or trying to sell her on some end of the world obsession. He's just a regular guy who wants to get laid, even if he has the nickname "England" weirdly despite being from Texas.

Also, not opening lyrics to the song, but one of the non-Tupac rappers in "Hit 'em Up" starts out, "I'm from N-E-W Jerz, where plenty murders occurs". So, not as many murders as New York, but he's not some hick from Podunk either who's only seen like, one or two murders. Dude's got cred, even if he is from N-E-W Jerz.
  #41  
Old Yesterday, 11:34 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is online now
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"It makes me giggle / Sometimes I wiggle," from "It Makes Me Giggle," by John Denver.

"Why do birds suddenly appear" from "Close to You" by the Carpenters.


Two of the worst songs ever by actual, legitimate artists.
  #42  
Old Yesterday, 12:35 PM
DooWahDiddy DooWahDiddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thudlow Boink View Post
I know this has been debated interminably, here and elsewhere, but does anyone have a from-the-horse's-mouth, "that settles it once and for all" cite for what the official lyrics are?
This video of a live performance from his own website makes it pretty clear that it's "I'm not talking 'bout movin' in" and "There's a warm wind blowing the stars around".
  #43  
Old Yesterday, 12:37 PM
DooWahDiddy DooWahDiddy is offline
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Actually, I just watched the interview after the performance, and he even talks about how no one knows what he's saying!
  #44  
Old Yesterday, 01:46 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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"There's a warm wind blowing, the stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight."

End of discussion.
  #45  
Old Yesterday, 03:08 PM
chargerrich chargerrich is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Draper View Post
The line "The world is a vampire" from Bullet the Butterfly's Wing by Smashing Pumpkins always grated on my nerves for some reason.
Agreed but it is more than made up for by the line:

"Despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage!"
  #46  
Old Yesterday, 03:57 PM
TCMF-2L TCMF-2L is offline
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I know for many Ozzy and Black Sabbath can do no wrong...

But for me 'Generals gather in their masses, just like witches in Black Masses' stinks the place out.

TCMF-2L
  #47  
Old Yesterday, 04:28 PM
Rick Vallejo Rick Vallejo is offline
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Sooo how about Michael Jackson's Bad:

"Your butt is mine
gonna take you right"

Eloquent.
  #48  
Old Yesterday, 05:25 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMF-2L View Post
I know for many Ozzy and Black Sabbath can do no wrong...

But for me 'Generals gather in their masses, just like witches in Black Masses' stinks the place out.

TCMF-2L
Yet another one I love!
  #49  
Old Yesterday, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DooWahDiddy View Post
Actually, I just watched the interview after the performance, and [England Dan] even talks about how no one knows what he's saying!



Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMF-2L View Post
I know for many Ozzy and Black Sabbath can do no wrong...

But for me 'Generals gather in their masses, just like witches in Black Masses' stinks the place out.

TCMF-2L
Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
Yet another one I love!

I'll go one further than pulykamell and say that one is absolute classic awesome sauce.
  #50  
Old Yesterday, 07:27 PM
Two Many Cats Two Many Cats is offline
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Buying groceries yesterday and the insipid strains of England Dan and John Ford Coley's "Really Like to See You Tonight" leached out of the P.A.

Their oh-so-cazsh* opening line "Hello, yeah, it's been a while/Not much, how about you" made me think - ok - are there really any other song lyric openings that are total and complete ass, like that one?



*could never figure out the diminutive for "casual".
At least he's not talking about her linen.
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