Apparently a high-school teacher in New Hampshire assigned the seniors in her creative writing class the following essay question: “If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?” She ran into some resistance from school officials, and it sounds like the assignments were never completed.
So, Dopers, that’s your homework for today. Turn in your essays at the end of the thread.
Extra credit question: What was this teacher thinking?
Do I have to knock him down first?
His brother had probably just knocked him down and peed on him.
It is a bullshit question.
It should be phrased:
"WHEN you knocked your little brother down, DID you pee in his mouth?"
Essay follows:
"Yes, of course I did. Who wouldn’t?"
That would be about the easiest homework assignment ever and I would love to have gotten one like that.
My guess: She’s a watersports & incest fetishist who wanted wank material.
In his mouth? This could be problematic. When he sees me preparing to urinate, he’ll surely turn his head and shut his mouth tight. I’d need some sort of apparatus to hold his head still and prop his mouth open. Of course, were I someone who enjoyed peeing on people, perhaps I would already own such a device.
Now, things would be much easier if he were unconscious. Maybe the question should be rephrased to “If you knocked your brother out…”
As for what the teacher was thinking, my WAG is something along the lines of: “I feel like making some weird, convoluted statement about the First Amendment today, and draw some attention to myself too.” Maybe she was even hoping to get fired instead of “closely monitored” so she could make whatever point she was trying to make in a nationally-covered court case…
This was a creative writing assignment? Let’s see…
It was a dark and stormy night. Mabel had just gone to bed, and I stayed up in the drawing room to enjoy a brandy and do a little reading. Walter, the butler, asked if I would need anything more that evening. I dismissed him.
I stared into the crackling fire and whistfully recalled the days of my youth. I schooled at Cundall Manor in Yorkshire. The headmaster was a kindly old gentleman, stern but fair. My best mate Colin was an A student and proficient in riding. He was captain of the polo team. He came from a good family, prominent London bankers.
I smiled a little as I sniffed my brandy. Ah, those carefree days of youth. Riding. Rugby. Lessons with Mrs. Pigglesbottom. Mrs. Pigglesbottom was a good teacher, but I believe a bit addled. During the war her house was bombed, and I understand she was never the same since. Shell shock, some called it. She sometimes had rather daft notions of education. There was a creative writing assignment in which we had to answer this question: “If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?” I remember Colin’s response as if it were just last week. He said, “What the fuck you on about, biotch?!?”
I grinned a little more, finished off my brandy, and retired for the evening.
The end.
Maybe she has a brother that posts about his pedophilic tendencies on an internet message board 
The circumstances arose thus. Miles from the nearest available medical help, I and my brother had been gaining some exercise in swimming offshore. During our last such excursion, I had retired to the beach ahead of my brother, who was the better swimmer. Glancing back I noted he was swimming with much haste in my direction. On making his way up the beach he explained, as best he could in his hysterical state, that due to inadvertently swallowing a small jellyfish he had received a sting to the back of his throat. In view of his allergic hypersensitivity, I had no option but to knock him down (for he could not be otherwise subdued) and then urinate in his mouth. I am in no doubt that he would do the same for me if the reverse ever occurred. Fin.
It’s the little touches that made that worth reading.
My brother was such a wanker, if I’d have done a little thing like urinate in his mouth, he would have run off and tattled to our parents, and then I’d have been in big trouble. So, no.
It seems to me she may be trying to determine if any of the students are replicants. Did the extra credit have anything to do with a tortoise?
No. I’d apologize and pick him back up.
Then again, aren’t we all a little guilty of a little bit of peeing in our brothers’ mouths? I believe it was the man named Jesus who said “let the he who is without sin open his mouth first” or something like that I believe. We as human beings do tend to be inherently cruel creatures, knocking down our fellow man, or at the very least, if we are not guilty of knocking them down, we most certainly ARE guilty at some point in life of looking another of our kind and mocking their situation, and not helping them out. There are those in our society, who would laugh at the misfortunes of others. They are the ones who look at the fat person at the hospital in sheer disgust; those who would look at those trying to struggle with their sexuality and simply taunt them with abuse both verbal and physical; those that look upon their fellow human beings and feel hatred, disgust or pity upon them simply for the reasoning that that human being chooses to follow a different political animal than the viewers; or perhaps they will find a reason to condemn their brothers to being an ignorant delusional fool, or those that condemn others to a petty and cruel afterlife based on their differences in religious beliefs?* People are people so why should it be? …I can’t understand what makes a man [pee in another] another man.* is another retelling of this similar thought, just like Jesus and now Depeche Mode, you dear teacher are trying to rally the students to understand something about ourselves:
Can it not be said then that we are all guilty of those small tiny little acts of greed, jealousy, hate, and superiority? That we are all just massive Watersports Fetishists trying to look out for only ourselves and our ilk? We walk around with full bladders, so cocksure in our ways that we certainly aren’t the type to do such a filthy thing as to pee in the mouths of our brothers- but then when we truly look back in our wake of destruction, why is it that everywhere we’ve gone before, our fellow human beings are all just a little bit… wetter for our presence? So I Quote from the fabled bathroom stall proverb, and a classic proverb for little children across the land: “I-CUP” because, when I do so, I see a mirror image of myself, and that which makes us all truly human…
I peed into the abyss and the abyss pees into me.
The End.
PS: I still go with my first answer. With the additional thought though: what if he was a paraphilliac and that was the only way for him to achieve pleasure? Even then, I think I would not pee into his mouth. Not even in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. And Not with a mouse. I would not pee into his mouth.
PSS: Geddit?
I must submit this to you though dear teacher, I have thought of an addendum though: what if he were dying of thirst? Or a he tried to swallow a Jelly fish? Or if he was dying of thirst, while swallowing a jellyfish, and had a thing for golden showers? Then yeah- I might pee in his mouth. But, I’d keep my pinky out like a gentleman should.
And if she managed to read all that drivel. I suppose I would deserve whatever grade she gave me.Best thing I’ve read all week.
I was a little kid once.
I swam in many a pool.
Therefore, my brother certainly wasnt the only one to get “the treatment”…
It was a dark and stormy night… when suddenly I let fly!
No, but I might fart in his face
Is Samuel Delany teaching high-school English in New Hampshire now?
Twas the night before Christmas,
And inside my house,
I knocked down my brother,
And pissed in his mouth.
His tonsils were stung,
By the stream aimed with care,
And as he coughed and convulsed
I pissed in his hair.
I don’t know I think it’s got potential…
::Checks link:: Oh good, it wasn’t one of my former teachers.
BRAVO!