Oglaf appreciation thread - very NSFW - hilarious pornographic webcomic

[magnusblitz]

Weird thing is, I actually find all the NON-dick jokes ones to be funnier than the dick joke ones.

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by MostlyClueless

The new oglaf has a better ending than the epilogue of last week: http://oglaf.com/emancipation.html

(And I just love how the creator takes the earlier Chekhov's gun and just runs with it)

If you've missed the kidnapping arc, it's best to start here: http://oglaf.com/glove2.html

And the best part is that the evil, manhating bitch has absolutely no one to blame but herself!

[ArrMatey!]

I wouldn't call her man-hating per se, but I am amused at the level to which her own 'curse' backfired. I can just hear her words (the punchline) -seething- with rage.

[carnivorousplant]

What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,

[squeegee]

Wow, Mistress unwittingly invented the tele-facial. This concept may have potential! Maybe via Apple (iCum) or Google (FacialDroid), or Sony (Blu-Kake) ?

[Kamino Neko]

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,

Oh, what else is new? Ivan is the universe's bitch.

[CandidGamera]

Originally Posted by squeegee

Wow, Mistress unwittingly invented the tele-facial. This concept may have potential! Maybe via Apple (iCum) or Google (FacialDroid), or Sony (Blu-Kake) ?

ChatRoulette?

[squeegee]

Originally Posted by CandidGamera

ChatRoulette?

The true challenge is how to deliver the final payload. I'm sure many innovators are working on this as we speak.

[Chronos]

And the best part is that the evil, manhating bitch has absolutely no one to blame but herself!

I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.

Am I the only one to notice, by the way, that the whipping girl has the same eye-shaped tattoo/birthmark/whatever above her left breast as Ivan?

[squeegee]

Originally Posted by Chronos

I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.

Really? I took the last comic as showing the same 'Mistress' in every scene. In the majority of scenes it's obviously her; note the guards & handmaiden with the upper-face-helmets in three scenes, and the "Xoan ambassdor" in another.

[Kamino Neko]

No, it all appears to be Ivan's mistress. All of the servants in panels 2, 4, and 6 are wearing her mark* (also 1, but it's small and indistinct there) - ie, the same tattoo (or, likely, brand) that Ivan has - she's flanked by her usual guards in panels 1 and 6, the chair in 3 and throne in 6 have her mark on it, and the Xoan ambassador is with her in panel 5.

* The mark first appears in Cumsprite - page 2, on an arch Ivan is chasing the cumsprite past - but since we don't get a good look at any of her servants chests for a while, the first time we see that her servants wear it, rather than it just being on all her property, is Cockhunt, when it can be seen on a guard's breast when Ivan is reporting to Mistress.

[Chronos]

The hair's a different color for each of them. And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?

[Covered_In_Bees!]

I find it very hard to believe that you think they're all different.

I had thought it was quite obvious that Ivan was "sending" cumsprites en masse to Mistress and they were frequently assaulting her at inopportune times. A frequency that finally pays off in the last panel where she breaks and has someone pay the ransom instead of just getting a new apprentice.

[Sage Rat]

Originally Posted by Chronos

Am I the only one to notice, by the way, that the whipping girl has the same eye-shaped tattoo/birthmark/whatever above her left breast as Ivan?

There seems to be a mark above the left breast of two of the servant girls in the bathing scene as well. I suspect that's simply the Mistress' mark.

[squeegee]

Originally Posted by Chronos

The hair's a different color for each of them.

Not so -- her hair color is the same in panels 1, 4, and 6.

And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?

Her minions. Who else?

[appleciders]

Each of those panels has a very strong color theme. I think this is just the artist having fun, and besides, the Mistress would certainly be able to change her hair color to match her clothing choice.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,

Hell, Ivan has been suffering throughout his apprenticeship. Remember, the first comic is Cumsprite, when he learns that he's forbidden to masturbate at all, lest he wank himself into a coma after oiling down Mistress's new captives.

If he survives, he'll probably realize that he should have just enjoyed his days of captivity when he had them. I mean, he's probably getting fed, watered, and sheltered at least as well as when he was serving Mistress...plus he can wank all he wants to, right now.

[DrFidelius]

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,

I'm at work so I can't look it up, but the Apprentice's name was revealed a few weeks back when the Ambassador wanted to use him as a rowboat. The "SS Ivan" or something like that.

[Arkcon]

I wish the comic had it's own forum, so I could make a variety of appreciative, yet sick, comments on the storyline.

For example: someday, someone, is going to knock the cabinet over. http://www.oglaf.com/100_eyes2.html And I hope mistress has a bathtub handy.

Ewww. Ewww. Why did I type that? Why did I press Submit Reply? This is SDMB, you know, LHC questions, explain politics, identify bugs, that sort of thing.

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by Chronos

I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.

He "told" one to find her, but the nature of the cumsprite curse is that every load he shoots makes its way to her to rat him out for jerking off. I'm pretty sure that when he does it now, it's just to pass the time.

I think that collection he has in his closet would have done the same thing if he hadn't been trapping them in jars. She really should be thanking him for the fact that she didn't have to endure those.

[carnivorousplant]

But like I said, he is going to be in some deep shit when he is ransomed.

[Elendil's Heir]

Good stuff. I didn't guess where that kidnapping storyline was going. Well done, O faithful cumsprite!

[GuanoLad]

An interview, of sorts, with creator Trudy Cooper.

Warning: The rest of that site is almost as NSFW as Oglaf itself.

[Chronos]

But how would she be telling her minions to pay the ransom? They don't have the money; she does. It'd make more sense for her to say "I'll pay the fucking ransom already".

[Lakai]

She can always give them permission to take her money.

[Hypno-Toad]

This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."

[squeegee]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."

Ow. Jesus. Shoulda seen that one, erm... coming.

[Elendil's Heir]

Originally Posted by Chronos

But how would she be telling her minions to pay the ransom? They don't have the money; she does. It'd make more sense for her to say "I'll pay the fucking ransom already".

She's used to barking out (or purring) orders. One of her nearby minions obviously has the palace checkbook.

[Der Trihs]

Oglaf seems to have undergone some change that broke some of the links; including my bookmark. This link leads to the archives page. The only differences I notice is that now it's ordered most recent-to-oldest from the top, instead of the other way around; the "Emancipation" mouseover is gone; and that the dead links are the ones ending in html/

Like so.

[MeDrewNotYou]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."

I'd say I did a spit take, but you jerks would probably make fun of me.

[Miller]

Originally Posted by Sage Rat

There seems to be a mark above the left breast of two of the servant girls in the bathing scene as well. I suspect that's simply the Mistress' mark.

It's also the mini-icon that appears next to Oglaf in my browser's Bookmarks.

[Miller]

Originally Posted by Chronos

The hair's a different color for each of them.

I don't think that's supposed to be different colored hair: it's the same color, in different lighting. If they were supposed to all be different women, why no blond or black hair? Why all shades of light brown and red?

And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?

It's not a plea, it's an order. The ransom was for 50 gold ingots. She's not going to carry that all by herself off to the... goblin... dude... whatever's castle. That's what lackeys are for.

[Der Trihs]

Ivan himself has the mark in the next-most-recent comic.

[Kamino Neko]

Is the site working for everyone else? I'm only getting the warning page, everything else is a 500 error.

[Ferret Herder]

I just checked and the site works for me, but no update since the "all right, I'll pay!" comic that I can see.

[The Controvert]

If you didn't notice, the latest comics have Epilogue links. I know some folks at the start didn't realize some storylines span multiple pages. So, it's like that with even more bonus pages.

[Johnny L.A.]

I feel so bad for the Snow Queen!

Poor Snow Queen.

[Bosstone]

The apprentice is a pretty clever guy. His biggest blind spot is that he thinks he's worth more to the lady than he really is. So when he's captured, he sends the cumsprite to get help, but she doesn't care. When help doesn't arrive, he assumes the sprite must not have made it to her, and keeps sending messages. She's trying to ignore the constant stream of sprites, until finally she gets pissed off and orders that the ransom be paid just to stop it. The humor is that her own oh-so-clever spell turned against her.

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by Bosstone

The apprentice is a pretty clever guy. His biggest blind spot is that he thinks he's worth more to the lady than he really is. So when he's captured, he sends the cumsprite to get help, but she doesn't care. When help doesn't arrive, he assumes the sprite must not have made it to her, and keeps sending messages. She's trying to ignore the constant stream of sprites, until finally she gets pissed off and orders that the ransom be paid just to stop it. The humor is that her own oh-so-clever spell turned against her.

Plus I'm pretty sure she had already decided to keep him and get rid of his replacement. Someone who's the perfect butt monkey is hard to come by.

[Siddhartha Vicious]

I'm dying to see this thing, but I can't get it to work either.

[meflin]

For some weeks new releases are grinding the server/connection to dust. In a few days it will be be easy to see.

Someone with resources like Google should start hosting this as a public service!

Meflin

[Lute Skywatcher]

Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.

[meflin]

Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher

Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.

snappy quick loading .. but it doesn't have the new 2 postings.

Meflin

[kaylasdad99]

Got to hit "Epilogue" for those, man.

[meflin]

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99

Got to hit "Epilogue" for those, man.

BOO WRONG!

snowbound 1-2 are not on that link

http://oglaf.com/snowbound/1/
http://oglaf.com/snowbound/2/

emancipation 1/2/3 at that link are last weeks server meltdown.

Meflin

I can't remember if I found this in this thread or elsewhere.

RSS feed
http://pipes.yahoo.com/pipes/pipe.ru...Sg&_render=rss

[MeDrewNotYou]

Originally Posted by Johnny L.A.

I feel so bad for the Snow Queen!

Poor Snow Queen.

Poor Snow Queen?!?! Look, I'm sympathetic and all, but very few guys are going to be into that. Maybe she should pick up a pack of furry condoms. I'd google it, but I have a fear (a rational one, mind you!) of looking for anything sexual in conjunction with 'furry.'

The Yeti was adorable, though. So she has that.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by MeDrewNotYou

Poor Snow Queen?!?! Look, I'm sympathetic and all, but very few guys are going to be into that. Maybe she should pick up a pack of furry condoms.

The question is, does she melt herself if heated? If not, the solution would be a hot tub.

[Siddhartha Vicious]

Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher

Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.

That worked. Thanks. Now to see what all the fuss is about.

[Johnny L.A.]

Originally Posted by Siddhartha Vicious

That worked. Thanks. Now to see what all the fuss is about.

That page opens near the end of the story for me. This is where it starts:

http://97.74.193.199/glove1.html

[Elendil's Heir]

I don't get the "What am I thinking?" "Uh... a salmon?" one.