The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Cafe Society

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 04-11-2010, 04:41 AM
magnusblitz magnusblitz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2005
Weird thing is, I actually find all the NON-dick jokes ones to be funnier than the dick joke ones.
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #52  
Old 04-11-2010, 06:19 PM
Lumpy Lumpy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota US
Posts: 12,759
Quote:
Originally Posted by MostlyClueless View Post
The new oglaf has a better ending than the epilogue of last week: http://oglaf.com/emancipation.html

(And I just love how the creator takes the earlier Chekhov's gun and just runs with it)

If you've missed the kidnapping arc, it's best to start here: http://oglaf.com/glove2.html
And the best part is that the evil, manhating bitch has absolutely no one to blame but herself!
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 04-11-2010, 11:33 PM
ArrMatey! ArrMatey! is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Waaaaay over here!
Posts: 3,378
I wouldn't call her man-hating per se, but I am amused at the level to which her own 'curse' backfired. I can just hear her words (the punchline) -seething- with rage.
__________________
"Try this: Before you post, say what you wrote down out loud. If you find yourself shaking your head and exclaiming something along the lines of, "What the hell does that mean?", delete."
-Czarcasm
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 04-11-2010, 11:57 PM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 42,368
What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 04-12-2010, 12:11 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,347
Wow, Mistress unwittingly invented the tele-facial. This concept may have potential! Maybe via Apple (iCum) or Google (FacialDroid), or Sony (Blu-Kake) ?

Last edited by squeegee; 04-12-2010 at 12:15 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 04-12-2010, 12:20 AM
Kamino Neko Kamino Neko is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivorousplant View Post
What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,
Oh, what else is new? Ivan is the universe's bitch.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 04-12-2010, 12:34 AM
CandidGamera CandidGamera is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by squeegee View Post
Wow, Mistress unwittingly invented the tele-facial. This concept may have potential! Maybe via Apple (iCum) or Google (FacialDroid), or Sony (Blu-Kake) ?
ChatRoulette?
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 04-12-2010, 12:45 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by CandidGamera View Post
ChatRoulette?
The true challenge is how to deliver the final payload. I'm sure many innovators are working on this as we speak.

Last edited by squeegee; 04-12-2010 at 12:47 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 04-12-2010, 01:16 AM
Chronos Chronos is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 55,790
Quote:
And the best part is that the evil, manhating bitch has absolutely no one to blame but herself!
I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.

Am I the only one to notice, by the way, that the whipping girl has the same eye-shaped tattoo/birthmark/whatever above her left breast as Ivan?
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 04-12-2010, 01:29 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.
Really? I took the last comic as showing the same 'Mistress' in every scene. In the majority of scenes it's obviously her; note the guards & handmaiden with the upper-face-helmets in three scenes, and the "Xoan ambassdor" in another.
Reply With Quote
  #61  
Old 04-12-2010, 01:33 AM
Kamino Neko Kamino Neko is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
No, it all appears to be Ivan's mistress. All of the servants in panels 2, 4, and 6 are wearing her mark* (also 1, but it's small and indistinct there) - ie, the same tattoo (or, likely, brand) that Ivan has - she's flanked by her usual guards in panels 1 and 6, the chair in 3 and throne in 6 have her mark on it, and the Xoan ambassador is with her in panel 5.

* The mark first appears in Cumsprite - page 2, on an arch Ivan is chasing the cumsprite past - but since we don't get a good look at any of her servants chests for a while, the first time we see that her servants wear it, rather than it just being on all her property, is Cockhunt, when it can be seen on a guard's breast when Ivan is reporting to Mistress.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 04-12-2010, 02:18 AM
Chronos Chronos is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 55,790
The hair's a different color for each of them. And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 04-12-2010, 02:22 AM
Covered_In_Bees! Covered_In_Bees! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
I find it very hard to believe that you think they're all different.

I had thought it was quite obvious that Ivan was "sending" cumsprites en masse to Mistress and they were frequently assaulting her at inopportune times. A frequency that finally pays off in the last panel where she breaks and has someone pay the ransom instead of just getting a new apprentice.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 04-12-2010, 02:36 AM
Sage Rat Sage Rat is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Howdy
Posts: 14,911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
Am I the only one to notice, by the way, that the whipping girl has the same eye-shaped tattoo/birthmark/whatever above her left breast as Ivan?
There seems to be a mark above the left breast of two of the servant girls in the bathing scene as well. I suspect that's simply the Mistress' mark.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 04-12-2010, 02:36 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
The hair's a different color for each of them.
Not so -- her hair color is the same in panels 1, 4, and 6.

Quote:
And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?
Her minions. Who else?
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 04-12-2010, 03:54 AM
appleciders appleciders is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Each of those panels has a very strong color theme. I think this is just the artist having fun, and besides, the Mistress would certainly be able to change her hair color to match her clothing choice.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 04-12-2010, 04:24 AM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
Creature of the Night
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 20,803
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivorousplant View Post
What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,
Hell, Ivan has been suffering throughout his apprenticeship. Remember, the first comic is Cumsprite, when he learns that he's forbidden to masturbate at all, lest he wank himself into a coma after oiling down Mistress's new captives.

If he survives, he'll probably realize that he should have just enjoyed his days of captivity when he had them. I mean, he's probably getting fed, watered, and sheltered at least as well as when he was serving Mistress...plus he can wank all he wants to, right now.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 04-12-2010, 09:23 AM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Miskatonic University
Posts: 10,178
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivorousplant View Post
What's his name is going to suffer when he is returned, though,
I'm at work so I can't look it up, but the Apprentice's name was revealed a few weeks back when the Ambassador wanted to use him as a rowboat. The "SS Ivan" or something like that.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 04-12-2010, 08:31 PM
Arkcon Arkcon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
I wish the comic had it's own forum, so I could make a variety of appreciative, yet sick, comments on the storyline.

For example: someday, someone, is going to knock the cabinet over. http://www.oglaf.com/100_eyes2.html And I hope mistress has a bathtub handy.

Ewww. Ewww. Why did I type that? Why did I press Submit Reply? This is SDMB, you know, LHC questions, explain politics, identify bugs, that sort of thing.
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 04-12-2010, 10:07 PM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 21,924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
I think you missed the point. Those are a bunch of different evil manhating bitches, not the particular one who put the cumsprite curse on Ivan. He's telling the sprites to "find Mistress", but they're not smart enough to find the right one.
He "told" one to find her, but the nature of the cumsprite curse is that every load he shoots makes its way to her to rat him out for jerking off. I'm pretty sure that when he does it now, it's just to pass the time.

I think that collection he has in his closet would have done the same thing if he hadn't been trapping them in jars. She really should be thanking him for the fact that she didn't have to endure those.
Reply With Quote
  #71  
Old 04-12-2010, 10:52 PM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 42,368
But like I said, he is going to be in some deep shit when he is ransomed.
Reply With Quote
  #72  
Old 04-12-2010, 11:11 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: At the Diogenes Club
Posts: 49,916
Good stuff. I didn't guess where that kidnapping storyline was going. Well done, O faithful cumsprite!
Reply With Quote
  #73  
Old 04-12-2010, 11:27 PM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Where the wild roses grow
Posts: 20,092
An interview, of sorts, with creator Trudy Cooper.

Warning: The rest of that site is almost as NSFW as Oglaf itself.
Reply With Quote
  #74  
Old 04-13-2010, 02:19 AM
Chronos Chronos is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 55,790
But how would she be telling her minions to pay the ransom? They don't have the money; she does. It'd make more sense for her to say "I'll pay the fucking ransom already".
Reply With Quote
  #75  
Old 04-13-2010, 03:13 AM
Lakai Lakai is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 4,640
She can always give them permission to take her money.
Reply With Quote
  #76  
Old 04-13-2010, 08:36 AM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."
__________________
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Reply With Quote
  #77  
Old 04-13-2010, 10:06 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."
Ow. Jesus. Shoulda seen that one, erm... coming.
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 04-13-2010, 10:19 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: At the Diogenes Club
Posts: 49,916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
But how would she be telling her minions to pay the ransom? They don't have the money; she does. It'd make more sense for her to say "I'll pay the fucking ransom already".
She's used to barking out (or purring) orders. One of her nearby minions obviously has the palace checkbook.
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Old 04-17-2010, 09:34 AM
Der Trihs Der Trihs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Oglaf seems to have undergone some change that broke some of the links; including my bookmark. This link leads to the archives page. The only differences I notice is that now it's ordered most recent-to-oldest from the top, instead of the other way around; the "Emancipation" mouseover is gone; and that the dead links are the ones ending in html/

Like so.

Last edited by Der Trihs; 04-17-2010 at 09:36 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Old 04-20-2010, 01:08 AM
MeDrewNotYou MeDrewNotYou is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
This gives a new spin to the term, "Money shot."
I'd say I did a spit take, but you jerks would probably make fun of me.
Reply With Quote
  #81  
Old 04-20-2010, 01:48 AM
Miller Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 36,698
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage Rat View Post
There seems to be a mark above the left breast of two of the servant girls in the bathing scene as well. I suspect that's simply the Mistress' mark.
It's also the mini-icon that appears next to Oglaf in my browser's Bookmarks.
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 04-20-2010, 02:01 AM
Miller Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 36,698
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
The hair's a different color for each of them.
I don't think that's supposed to be different colored hair: it's the same color, in different lighting. If they were supposed to all be different women, why no blond or black hair? Why all shades of light brown and red?

Quote:
And if it is all Ivan's mistress, then to whom is she addressing the plea in the last panel?
It's not a plea, it's an order. The ransom was for 50 gold ingots. She's not going to carry that all by herself off to the... goblin... dude... whatever's castle. That's what lackeys are for.
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 04-20-2010, 03:01 AM
Der Trihs Der Trihs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Ivan himself has the mark in the next-most-recent comic.
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 04-20-2010, 03:35 AM
Kamino Neko Kamino Neko is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Is the site working for everyone else? I'm only getting the warning page, everything else is a 500 error.
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:59 AM
Ferret Herder Ferret Herder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
I just checked and the site works for me, but no update since the "all right, I'll pay!" comic that I can see.
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 04-20-2010, 09:19 AM
The Controvert The Controvert is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
If you didn't notice, the latest comics have Epilogue links. I know some folks at the start didn't realize some storylines span multiple pages. So, it's like that with even more bonus pages.
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 04-25-2010, 03:31 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: NoWA
Posts: 49,634
I feel so bad for the Snow Queen!

Poor Snow Queen.
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 04-25-2010, 03:43 PM
Bosstone Bosstone is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
The apprentice is a pretty clever guy. His biggest blind spot is that he thinks he's worth more to the lady than he really is. So when he's captured, he sends the cumsprite to get help, but she doesn't care. When help doesn't arrive, he assumes the sprite must not have made it to her, and keeps sending messages. She's trying to ignore the constant stream of sprites, until finally she gets pissed off and orders that the ransom be paid just to stop it. The humor is that her own oh-so-clever spell turned against her.
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 04-25-2010, 04:17 PM
Lumpy Lumpy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota US
Posts: 12,759
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosstone View Post
The apprentice is a pretty clever guy. His biggest blind spot is that he thinks he's worth more to the lady than he really is. So when he's captured, he sends the cumsprite to get help, but she doesn't care. When help doesn't arrive, he assumes the sprite must not have made it to her, and keeps sending messages. She's trying to ignore the constant stream of sprites, until finally she gets pissed off and orders that the ransom be paid just to stop it. The humor is that her own oh-so-clever spell turned against her.
Plus I'm pretty sure she had already decided to keep him and get rid of his replacement. Someone who's the perfect butt monkey is hard to come by.
Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 04-25-2010, 04:18 PM
Siddhartha Vicious Siddhartha Vicious is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
I'm dying to see this thing, but I can't get it to work either.
Reply With Quote
  #91  
Old 04-25-2010, 04:37 PM
meflin meflin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2002
For some weeks new releases are grinding the server/connection to dust. In a few days it will be be easy to see.

Someone with resources like Google should start hosting this as a public service!

Meflin
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 04-25-2010, 04:40 PM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is offline
Uncharted
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 26,882
Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.
Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 04-25-2010, 04:55 PM
meflin meflin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher View Post
Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.

snappy quick loading .. but it doesn't have the new 2 postings.

Meflin
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 04-25-2010, 05:16 PM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 21,924
Got to hit "Epilogue" for those, man.
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 04-25-2010, 05:24 PM
meflin meflin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 View Post
Got to hit "Epilogue" for those, man.
BOO WRONG!

snowbound 1-2 are not on that link

http://oglaf.com/snowbound/1/
http://oglaf.com/snowbound/2/

emancipation 1/2/3 at that link are last weeks server meltdown.

Meflin

I can't remember if I found this in this thread or elsewhere.

RSS feed
http://pipes.yahoo.com/pipes/pipe.ru...Sg&_render=rss

Last edited by meflin; 04-25-2010 at 05:27 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 04-25-2010, 06:20 PM
MeDrewNotYou MeDrewNotYou is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny L.A. View Post
I feel so bad for the Snow Queen!

Poor Snow Queen.
Poor Snow Queen?!?! Look, I'm sympathetic and all, but very few guys are going to be into that. Maybe she should pick up a pack of furry condoms. I'd google it, but I have a fear (a rational one, mind you!) of looking for anything sexual in conjunction with 'furry.'

The Yeti was adorable, though. So she has that.
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 04-25-2010, 10:19 PM
Der Trihs Der Trihs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeDrewNotYou View Post
Poor Snow Queen?!?! Look, I'm sympathetic and all, but very few guys are going to be into that. Maybe she should pick up a pack of furry condoms.
The question is, does she melt herself if heated? If not, the solution would be a hot tub.
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 04-25-2010, 10:23 PM
Siddhartha Vicious Siddhartha Vicious is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher View Post
Those who can't get oglaf.com should try http://97.74.193.199/.
That worked. Thanks. Now to see what all the fuss is about.
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 04-25-2010, 10:38 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: NoWA
Posts: 49,634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siddhartha Vicious View Post
That worked. Thanks. Now to see what all the fuss is about.
That page opens near the end of the story for me. This is where it starts:

http://97.74.193.199/glove1.html
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 04-25-2010, 10:45 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: At the Diogenes Club
Posts: 49,916
I don't get the "What am I thinking?" "Uh... a salmon?" one.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.