Magic Cacti!

[tr0psn4j]

One of our employees was trying to convince my mom to buy a cactus for each desk in the office. You know, to absorb all the harmful radiation coming out of the computers. What the fuck?

I'm pretty sure she'll end up convincing her to buy them too.

[Lanzy]

Do you need to surround the computer with them?

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

I am constantly amazed that some people even have enough brains to dress themselves in the morning. Cacti to absorb harmful radiation from computers? Really?

[Colophon]

Yeah, but once they absorb all that radiation, they'll mutate and want their own desks. She clearly hasn't thought this through.

[Munch]

Maybe he was confusing cacti with mushrooms. They eat through radiation pretty well. As to why he thought that computers put out some sort of harmful radiation is left as exercise for the reader...

[Hampshire]

She's got it all wrong. Cacti 'repel' radiation. We avoid cacti becuase they're prickly and we don't want to get pricked. Well radiation doesn't want to get pricked either and avoids the cacti.

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

So if she arranged the cacti on her desk just right, they could funnel all the harmful radiation over to the twit in the next cubicle?

[Projammer]

So if I make my computer background a picture of a cactus. And set a cactus in front of it, will that cause some sort of rift in the space-time continuum?

Doomsday device on a budget!

[Colophon]

Originally Posted by Munch

Maybe he was confusing cacti with mushrooms. They eat through radiation pretty well. As to why he thought that computers put out some sort of harmful radiation is left as exercise for the reader...

Well, I don't wish to alarm you, but I'm pretty sure your monitor is throwing out some pretty intense electromagnetic radiation with frequencies as high as 750 trillion hertz RIGHT NOW!

Now, could I interest you in a couple of extra-large Cereus peruvianus?

[Yllaria]

Tell her that tin foil works better and you don't have to water it.

[blondebear]

Didn't those folks get the memo? Everyone knows that yuccas absorb radiation much better than cacti.

[Robot Arm]

Originally Posted by tr0psn4j

One of our employees was trying to convince my mom to buy a cactus for each desk in the office. You know, to absorb all the harmful radiation coming out of the computers.

Don't do it. You'll be surrounded by mutants.

[Harmonious Discord]

I have some ionic washer balls for sale.

P.S. Beware the mutant spiders that hatch out of the radioactive cacti.

[Mindfield]

Sooooooo ... cacti : harmful radiation :: boxes of baking soda : foul odors.

Good to know. Now I know what to make a rad suit out of if ever we're nuked.

Hey, uh, does she have something to absorb the fallout from chemtrails?

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Last month I got an email at work stating that we needed to set onions out around the office because they would absorb the swine flu. Really.

[Der Trihs]

And to think that the fools in the nuclear industry use lead and concrete to block radiation when they could be using cacti instead.

[elelle]

The best I can think here is that there is good botanical evidence of cacti making mighty effecient use of SOLAR radiation, as is their wonderful adaptation, and it got corrupted to a kneecapping of Radiation. This really would be a good Cecil question to debunk the funk.

[Harmonious Discord]

It does block optical radiation if you put it between the screen and you.

[Hampshire]

Originally Posted by Mindfield

Good to know. Now I know what to make a rad suit out of if ever we're nuked.

They work great but they can be a real bitch to move around in.

[Colophon]

Originally Posted by Hampshire

They work great but they can be a real bitch to move around in.

Plus, you tend to look like a giant prick.

[kunilou]

Get yourself a cheap cactus, put it next to your monitor. Then when she isn't looking, turn the brightness control all the way down so the screen is dark. Tell her the damn cactus screwed up your monitor and it's all her fault.

[wisernow]

Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix

Last month I got an email at work stating that we needed to set onions out around the office because they would absorb the swine flu. Really.

We actually have about 7 pods in our cube farm that have onions sitting plates in them, as a result of that email!

Dunno why the gummint is trying so hard to get everyone vaccinated when all that was needed was for everyone to carry an onion in his pocket.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Originally Posted by Harmonious Discord

It does block optical radiation if you put it between the screen and you.

+17

[Hampshire]

Originally Posted by kunilou

Get yourself a cheap cactus, put it next to your monitor. Then when she isn't looking, turn the brightness control all the way down so the screen is dark. Tell her the damn cactus screwed up your monitor and it's all her fault.

Better yet mess with her monitor controls while she's out. Tint, contrast, brightness, etc. Then when she asks "What the heck is wrong with my monitor?" you can tell her it must be the cactus.

[Mindfield]

Originally Posted by wisernow

Dunno why the gummint is trying so hard to get everyone vaccinated when all that was needed was for everyone to carry an onion in his pocket.

In my day, we wore onions on our belt, as was the style at the time.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by InvisibleWombat

Cacti to absorb harmful radiation from computers? Really?

Well, you don't expect African violets to do the job, do you?

Seriously, think before you speak.

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

Originally Posted by tdn

Well, you don't expect African violets to do the job, do you?

Everybody knows African violets refract the radiation--they don't absorb it.

But cacti? Maybe this is a pricklier problem than I first thought. I think I'll go have a nice succulent lunch and ponder it. Saguaro gonna put the cacti, anyway?

[Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems]

Even if it was to work, my office has sufficient pricks around without addition of cacti...

[Smeghead]

Originally Posted by tdn

Well, you don't expect African violets to do the job, do you?

Seriously, think before you speak.

No, the violets tend to shrink.

[Jackmannii]

Get your mom to buy a few of these cacti for each employee.

It'll help promote visionary thinking.

[Mikkel]

Originally Posted by Jackmannii

Get your mom to buy a few of these cacti for each employee.

It'll help promote visionary thinking.

When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be these.
What? They'll help promote thinking too.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Originally Posted by Mikkel

When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be these.

Me, too.

[tr0psn4j]

Originally Posted by Mikkel

When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be these.
What? They'll help promote thinking too.

Maybe she'll notice the phallicy.

[blondebear]

You really don't want those catci to absorb too much radiation. That would make the tarantula eggs mutate. There' nothing worse than having your cactus explode and having the resulting giant mutant tarantulas overtaking your office!

[Hadrian's Wall]

Originally Posted by Projammer

So if I make my computer background a picture of a cactus. And set a cactus in front of it, will that cause some sort of rift in the space-time continuum?

Doomsday device on a budget!

*Snap!
It's like a black hole in a bags of holding!

[Brainiac4]

Originally Posted by Hadrian's Wall

*Snap!
It's like a black hole in a bags of holding!

I think you mean a Portable Hole in a Bag of Holding.

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

In the physics of Dungeons & Dragons, putting a bag of holding inside a portable hole will result in a rift to be opened to the Astral Plane, and both items will be lost forever. If a portable hole is placed within a bag of holding, it instead opens a gate to the Astral Plane, sucking in every creature in a ten foot radius, and destroying both the bag and hole. The contents of the bags are either scattered throughout the Astral Plane or destroyed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding