Hammacher Schlemmer - more money than sense?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We* just got the Christmas Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue and I’m always amazed at how expensive and fatuous the items are. Most of these items are “the best,” “the only,” “the genuine,” or “the original”, and have long descriptions of their fabulousness.

Here are some examples**:

The laser guided pool cue Come on, dude, just practice. -$129.95

Speaking butler alarm clock (Gives Jeeves style wake-up calls). - - No alarm is good in the morning, and Jeeves is no exception. $99.95

Touch screen Rubik’s cube -$149.95 - Why get an electronic version of a $12 toy?

Constellation projection turtle night light - - It doesn’t say, “the best” or “the genuine”. Does this imply that the original and best turtle constellation projector is out there somewhere, and they’re palming off a pale imitation? $34.95

The tabletop cotton candy maker - - This is going to sit on the counter forever, getting stickier and stickier after it’s single use. $69.95

The home salon nail extensions (sticks on fake nails) -$199.95- Really, just go to a salon, you can chat, it’ll be nice.
Two items are above the rest though,

1)the ‘evaporative cooling hat’ -$24.95- you pour water in it, and it evaporates and cools your head. Attacklass points out that every hat she owns will do this.

  1. the $3000 pedal car. You could just buy your kid a used car for this kind of money, and have him or her chase the butler around the property.

There are some many choices that we didn’t note. Even the few things where you think “hm, that’s not idiotic or outrageously expensive” are tainted by their proximity to all of the other items.

  • Attackless co-wrote this OP
    **prices may vary from website, we’re looking at the catalogue in Canuckistan.
2

Oy. Speaking of fatuous, that should be Attacklass.

3

Also with Hammacher-Schlemmer is SkyMall. Also overpriced and useless.

4

It’s not all overpriced and useless.
The Comprehensive National Geographic Magazine Collection.

Just 99.9% of it.:smiley:

This is not the Toy you were looking for.

5

Ah, but without SkyMall, I would never have discovered that LaserComb has nine lasers. Perfect for all those times you’re combing your hair, and suddenly find out you only have eight lasers, or worse, no lasers at all. The peace of mind alone is well worth the $500.

6

Similar to the process of photosynthesis? :confused:

7

You know what’s really, really sad about this? I was obsessed with getting a cotton candy maker a year or two ago, and was researching various home machines. I remember the prices being between twenty and twenty five bucks, for essentially the same damned machine. The machines I looked at before look a lot like this, and are described a lot like this, and I don’t see that this particular machine is likely to be any better than the ones costing only twenty bucks.

My husband and I are financially comfortable, but I don’t see the point in just burning money because we have it.

ETA: I got over my obsession without actually buying a cotton candy machine, by the way. I’d LIKE one, sure, but either I’d use it, and send my blood sugar through the roof, or I wouldn’t use it, and feel bad about spending money on something I don’t use and have to store somewhere.

8

Not only are the items expensive and useless, they also look to be really cheaply made. I could see buying some stupid gadget, but I want a well made stupid gadget.

9

I love this stuff. Not enough to buy it, but enough to look at and say: Damn, Americans have too much money. I don’t begrudge this fact, i just need to find a way to leverage it.

10

I knew it was turtles all the way down. Up yours, Galilleo!

11

My current [not actually an] obsession is tracking down an appliance … a home potato chip maker, you fill the vat with oil, and wash potatoes and put them in one end, and potato chips come out the other. It was in the Navy Exchange catalog back in the mid 90s and I always regret never getting one.

And I adored my Cook-N-Clean … it was what looked like a range with a microwave hood all as a unit, but instead of an oven under the burners it was a dish washer.

I suppose the stealth kitchen would work, but in that absurdly tiny kitchen I had, it was great. I stored all my kitchen stuff in the dishwasher because I didn’t have enough cupboard space for everything. So everything got washed every night. But then again, I really owned only enough dishes and stuff for 2 people, so it wasnt that big a deal.

12

The need to make of version of this based on the movie Scanners.

You could use one of those giant Barbie heads that you do her hair and make up.

13

Not because it’s expensive, but because it costs more.

14

Ah, but many of these are ‘the best’. If not, they’re usually ‘the only’ or ‘the original’. 'Cept for that turtle sky constellation thingy.

15

Bravo. <slow, loud, villainously approving clap>

16

That’s the Stephen Fry version, and therefore worth every penny.

17

What. the. hell.

I’ve never heard of this company before, but it seems like it’s a combination of SkyMall and ThinkGeek, only ten times more expensive and fifty times more useless (thank ThinkGeek; Skymall every bit as useless).

A laser-guided pool cue? Who the hell would use this? It’s frickin’ pool. If you suck so badly that you need a laser pointer to line up your shots, you shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of a pool hall. Or maybe you should; it might be fun watching everyone else laser-guide that cue up your colon.

Touchscreen Rubik’s Cube? There’s an app for that. It costs a dollar.

And what the hell is with $200 “nail extensions?” Unless they’re made of adamantium and can be retracted at will, I can’t even begin to comprehend what the point of this is.

The evaporative cooling hat made me laugh though. Would people really fall for this? Seriously? ‘Cos that would take a whole bag o’ stupid.

The only thing I can see there that’s even remotely useful is the cotton candy machine. Probably wouldn’t get much use, but at least it’s useful and isn’t particularly overpriced for what it is.

18

Ch-ch-ch-Chia!

19

SkyMall is really an anthology of catalogs, with what is no doubt the highest margin items in each for their captive audience. It is a useful tool in telling you which things to avoid.

20

But frying chips in oil is just that… You get any ol’ deep fryer, or just a stock pot filled partway with peanut or canola or whatever else kind of oil you like, and a wire basket to lower the potato strips.

If this gizmo included auto-chipping, well, there’s always this kind of spiral thingy:

http://www.cookingtoys.com/spirooli-world-cuisine-vegetable-slicer.html

that makes it very easy too.

I haven’t made chips myself this way but I saw it done at a farmstand selling fresh fried chips of various kinds (potato, sweet potato, squash and carrot) using this type of device and a vat of oil, it seemed pretty straightforward (and came out great).