So there was a thread on cleaning up horrid homes and one for the DJ. When folks I meet find out what I do, there are inevitably questions. People’s eyes just light up and EVERYONE has always wondered about “x” and just have to ask me about it.
I’ve been doing the job for 10 years now, but that entire time has been with the same department, so in that regard my experience is somewhat limited.
Ask away! I’ll answer whenever I can.
What is the funniest violation you have ever seen?
I ask that mainly so I can tell you this one: I had to inspect this Mexican Restaurant a few years back, and it was pretty damn clean, but…
I look at the ice machine, but I can’t find the scoop. Turn’s out they had lost the scoop and were using whatever was handy. That’s not so bad in and of itself, but…
The kitchen staff were avid soccer players. They had all the equipment: cleats, shin guards, everything. Including cups. They were using one of the plastic inserts for a cup as the ice scoop! I wasn’t official, so I didn’t write them up, and the piece was clean but… damn. I know it’s shaped kinda like a scoop, but fer chrissakes, esse, don’t use THAT!
Do you only inspect restaurants, or other types of businesses as well?
Have you ever had a hand in shutting a place down?
Has anybody ever gotten angry or violent with you while you were inspecting their place?
Do you have to do anything that might make your job worthy of being on Dirty Jobs?
The obvious question- what are the worst things you’ve seen?
Are there any kinds of restaurants that tend to have more violations?
What advice do you have for diners?
Do you follow the rules at your own home that you enforce? Like having separate cutting boards for chicken, etc.
Has having this job made you more worried about cleanliness in your own life?
Monkey, that would qualify as a violation because it’s not a food-grade material. I would’ve written it, but it just would’ve been a non-critical. As far as any funny violations? Well, I’m sure there will be some that come to mind over time. Off the top of my head I can think of finding a knife modified to use a deer antler as a handle at a well-known pancake house that is sort of International. Made them get rid of that for the same reason as the ice-scoop-cup.
Also watched a cook at an Oriental place who was taste-testing the sauce repeatedly by dipping the ladle in and stirring it and tasting again. If they do that while I’m there, what do they do when I’m not there?
**Do you only inspect restaurants, or other types of businesses as well?
**
Some jurisdictions have specific people for sewage, restaurants, childcare, vectors (animals and insects that transmit disease), recreational water quality, indoor air quality, etc. Here, we are generalists. I work for a city, so we have very very few septic tanks. Sewage is something we rarely deal with. However, we all do everything else.
Have you ever had a hand in shutting a place down?
Yes. Doesn’t really happen that often, but it does happen. Once was when the restaurant had no working toilets. Another time, the water service was interrupted due to some work plumbers were doing in the building. The most common reason is raw sewage backing up through the floor drains. Only once did I close a place for gross numbers and types of violations.
Has anybody ever gotten angry or violent with you while you were inspecting their place?
No. I have had people call to complain a few times. You have to finesse the language in such a way that you tell someone their place sucks and they smile and thank you when you’re done.
Do you have to do anything that might make your job worthy of being on Dirty Jobs?
Sometimes, yes. Usually it’s just due to greasiness, though. There are a few places in town that I never pick my feet up–I just “skate” across the floor. A couple years ago we had a restaurant that went out of business all of a sudden, leaving dozens of creditors in his wake. When the power company shut off service, a walk-in cooler full of meat was left to simmer in the August heat. About a week later, I finally found out about it and got a search warrant to clean the place out. A county deputy served the warrant with me and a clerk from his office came along to catalog what we discarded and take pictures of the event.
Another time we got pulled in on a house of a hoarder. He had about 2 feet of crawlspace between the top of the trash and his ceiling. It was mostly porn. I kid you not. We have pictures.
The obvious question- what are the worst things you’ve seen?
The place I mentioned above, which I had to close. They had 87 non-critical and 14 critical violations. (Yes, I broke the magical ‘100’ barrier.) Roaches. Everywhere. Rotten meat. Pitiful hygeine. Mice. Stench. Bad temperatures. Almost everything that could’ve been wrong. Counting the report I put together, the inspection took 13 hours. Then I was there nearly every day for a week doing re-inspections.
Are there any kinds of restaurants that tend to have more violations?
Oriental. No question about it.
What advice do you have for diners?
Tons. I’ll give a few.
Do you follow the rules at your own home that you enforce? Like having separate cutting boards for chicken, etc.
Yes. And I will NEVER point out violations in other peoples’ private kitchens. So it’s okay to invite me over!
Has having this job made you more worried about cleanliness in your own life?
Worried? No. Conscientious? Yes. I have a 7 y.o. son who never enters the kitchen without washing his hands. It just makes me aware of good hygeine.
I think we’d all like to see those. 
That’s just good training. A friend of teaches third grade and the “dirty kid” stories she tells are terrible.
Have you ever inspected a restaurants that had NO violations?
Are you surprised by reports like Nearly 50% of soda dispensers at fast food restaurants have choliform bacteria? I’m almost positive that I know how this happens: cleaning rags being used in too many places and inappropriately – do you cite people for inappropriate rag use? Do you test things like soda dispensers for cleanliness?
Any “quick hints” for a diner who is going somewhere to eat, like is the condition/cleanliness of the rest rooms really analogous to that of the kitchen? I’d say it was at the restaurant I worked at, but we were good about keeping things clean overall.
Not sure I can expect an answer to this but here it goes anyway:
How open is your profession to bribery?
FWIW I have had occasion to speak to bar/restaurant owners (and actually a nail salon owner who I talked to while waiting for my mom) in Chicago and the stories they tell of the inspectors are eyebrow raising to say the least. Apparently the list of infractions is so long it is nearly impossible to be 100% on everything. If you do not want to be nitpicked to death the inspectors get a little extra. The salon owner suggested this was highly lucrative to the inspectors. Anecdotal perhaps but curious just the same.
Any truth to this?
Have you ever inspected a restaurants that had NO violations?
Probably not. It is common for me to not document any violations, though some may well exist. You will find some debate about that practice among my colleagues, but that’s the way I roll.
**do you cite people for inappropriate rag use? Do you test things like soda dispensers for cleanliness?
**
The rag use is specifically addressed by the FDA Food Code. They need to be stored in sanitizer between uses. Don’t go from one surface to another without a rinse. We do check the inside of the soda fountain nozzles. It’s surprising how often there will be stalactites of mold hanging in there. I write those as a critical violation since it’s insufficient cleaning of a food-contact surface.
Any “quick hints” for a diner who is going somewhere to eat, like is the condition/cleanliness of the rest rooms really analogous to that of the kitchen? I’d say it was at the restaurant I worked at, but we were good about keeping things clean overall.
In my experience, the customer areas are placed well ahead of the kitchen on the priority of cleaning and maintenance. I have found that restaurants that can’t keep a good manager are consistently the worst performers. Also, just because you see certificates of food safety training (ServSafe, et.al.) on the wall, does not mean they know what they’re doing. Sometimes a corporate trainer comes in and tells the management what to do to pass the class and they all magically have a certificate. This is coming from a guy who is a ServSafe trainer–the class is awesome, but sometimes the trainers and students are not.
How open is your profession to bribery?
The potential is there. However, in nearly 10 years, I have never even been offered a bribe. I will not accept a drink, though probably 3/4 of the places I go will ask if I want one. Also, none of the other inspectors I meet throughout the state have ever mentioned being bribed. I’m sure it can happen. I expect that I may be really tempted if we had any nudie bars here in town. 
What kind of training do you need for your job and are you happy with the pay?
I think we’d all like to see those.
No you wouldn’t.
Why do you think that is?
Dear God. Do you ever drink soda at restaurants? Are there other things you just don’t order?