What is the biggest change of opinion you have undergone snce adulthood?

[Skald the Rhymer]

Are you a former homophobe who now supports gay marriage?

Were you an long-time atheist who found religion?

Did you once think that Pepsi was a vile concoction and Coke was made of ambrosia, and now think the reverse is true?

Well, tell us about it--what your former opinion was, what your current opinion is, and why you changed your mind. For purposes of this thread, the only judgment as to what is a major change of opinion is your own.

[RTFirefly]

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

Are you a former homophobe who now supports gay marriage?

Were you an long-time atheist who found religion?

Did you once think that Pepsi was a vile concoction and Coke was made of ambrosia, and now think the reverse is true?

Well, tell us about it--what your former opinion was, what your current opinion is, and why you changed your mind. For purposes of this thread, the only judgment as to what is a major change of opinion is your own.

Since I turned 18 in 1972, my opinions on many things have changed a great deal since then. I'll come back with some of my biggest changes when I've had time to think about it, but what interests me is which of those changes in views simply represented the changes of views of the entire culture (remember that equal rights for women was still pretty controversial in the U.S. in 1972, and homosexual acts were still criminal in most states), and which didn't.

[mhendo]

Depends what you mean by "adulthood." Many of my most dramatic changes in opinion and political position happened in my late teens and early twenties. While this is officially adulthood, it always seems to me that this transformation was a part of my growing up.

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

Are you a former homophobe who now supports gay marriage?

Yes.

Like most of my peers in school, i found even the idea of homosexuality disgusting and perverted. Anyone at our school even suspected of being gay was hounded mercilessly. I took this attitude into my early adulthood. Of course, i had never met a gay person (at least, one who was openly gay). By my early twenties, i had been out in the world a bit more, and had traveled and met a whole lot of new and interesting people, and had come to realize that who you fuck or who you love is none of my business, and doesn't change what type of person you are.

I also grew up fairly racist. I was not some hood-wearing vigilante; my racism was the casual, thoughtless racism that was so prevalent in Australian society at the time, and that is still pretty common in many parts of the country. To me, as a kid, the Australian Aborigines were "boongs" or "coons" who were dirty and uncivilized and most likely criminal. Again, of course, i'd never actually met one. Asians were "slopeheads" who should go back to their own country, or at least learn to speak English. Lebanese were "wogs."

This sort of thing was only said amongst ourselves (i.e., among the Anglo guys i hung out with at school). We never actually taunted people openly, or called them racist word to their face. I'm not sure if this made our racism better or worse. My high school was very white, and was located in an area of Sydney with large populations of Vietnamese, Lebanese, and other immigrant groups. We played against these folks in rugby and cricket, and the sport field rivalry probably exacerbated our bigotry.

Again, this is all something i left behind in the few years after leaving high school.

[Anaamika]

Religious to atheist.

Also idealistic to pretty cynical.

[Drain Bead]

Up until a couple of years ago, I NEVER wanted to have children.

My daughter turns one on the 31st.

[Icarus]

As a teen / young adult I was deeply judgmental of people, cynical, and reveled in my powers of sarcasm.

As I moved into adulthood and became exposed to more and more, traveled, etc., my attitudes softened considerably and I became much more positive about life and pluralistic about people. I no longer judge people like I did, in fact I probably go the other way in terms of acceptance.

I attribute the earlier attitudes to a deep lack of confidence and the changes to a rising self confidence.

[RunSilent]

I spent 20 years of my adult life believing in something many dopers currently believe in: left wing ideology.... Naive and gullible, I was...

[MsWhatsit]

I became an atheist. No particular epiphanal moment. I just realized at some point in the last few years that my ongoing "crisis of faith" that I'd been having since I was 17 and quit going to Mass was actually a complete and total inability to buy any of that stuff as reality. I'm still making peace with it but I feel much better now that I'm not telling people I'm a "weak agnostic."

[Palo Verde]

I guess I've moved from pro-choice, to pro-life, to conflicted, but slightly more on the pro-choice side.

I grew up in a strongly pro-choice household, with my mom frequently marching or going to rallies, so I grew up being pro-choice without thinking much about it.

When my children were born, the idea of aborting any of those amazing precious children and never giving them a chance at life was horrifying and I became more strongly pro-life.

Now I'm a little older, and hopefully a bit wiser. I still think abortion is horrible, but in many cases it is the best of several bad options. I guess I support it being legal, but I would prefer for kids to get hit over and over with the best abstinence and birth control information. I really wish abortion weren't necessary, but sometimes it is.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Originally Posted by RunSilent

I spent 20 years of my adult life believing in something many dopers currently believe in: left wing ideology.... Naive and gullible, I was...

You know, it's actually possible to express yourself without implicitly insulting other persons in the conversation. I think there's a class on it at the New School.

[cwthree]

Probably regarding non-monogamous relationships, including polygynous and polyandryous marriage. When I was younger, I felt that all non-monogamous relationships simply wrong in some fundamental way. At some point, I realized that this was more about my personal "ick" factor than it was about the cosmic rightness or wrongness of relationships. These days, I'd say that there is nothing wrong with poly(whatever) relationships as long as all parties are consenting* adults and there is no abuse.** I'd apply the same criteria to monogamous relationships.

*By which I mean "understanding the legal and social ramifications, and having a personal desire to be in the relationship" rather than "agreeing to the relationship in order to please a family member or religious leader."

**I do believe that there are some rights you can't give up, and the right to not by physically or psychologically abused by a partner is one of them. I don't care if your religion or culture says it's OK to smack your wife around (and that that a wife should accept being smacked around) - that's abuse, even if you think some deity approves.

[Mr. Excellent]

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

You know, it's actually possible to express yourself without implicitly insulting other persons in the conversation. I think there's a class on it at the New School.

"Intro to Design and Management" probably covers it: http://www.newschool.edu/pdf/Parsons...t_handbook.pdf

That's just the communications program - I'm sure there are others.

I just took the joke way too far, didn't I?

[Leaffan]

I'm much more conservative in my politics than I was in my youth. And just for the record a right-wing Canadian is probably nearer to the middle of the pack in US politics, and does not imply any religious underlying in the least.

Yeah, I could have sympathized with the socialists when I was younger, but in my grouchy old (47) age I am all for less government, more privatization, lower taxes and a focus on core services.

[Noone Special]

I was a strong "hawk" in terms of our (Israel's) attitude to "Secutiry" and, in our case, Territorial Compromise. I'm now fairly strongly on the "dovish" (pro-getting-the-hell-outta-the-West-Bank. Preferably leaving the settlers there...) side.

I was always an atheist, though.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Originally Posted by Mr. Excellent

"Intro to Design and Management" probably covers it: http://www.newschool.edu/pdf/Parsons...t_handbook.pdf

That's just the communications program - I'm sure there are others.

I just took the joke way too far, didn't I?

According to the algorithms we use in SmartAssery class, you took it just far enough. A single additional word would have ruined it, as would any lame attempt by another to comment on your attempt.

What?

[GESancMan]

I used to be of the opinion that getting drunk every night was essential to my life. Now I know that staying sober is a million times better.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

I voted for Reagan.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

I voted for Reagan.

I was too young for that, but I voted for Bush Senior over Duke. Admittedly I was trying to get into the panties of the treasurer of the Young Republicans at the time.

[pepperlandgirl]

Once upon a time, I was a devout Mormon and very pro-life.

Today I'm an atheist and staunchly pro-choice.

[Poysyn]

First of all, I was never planning to have children - my daughter turns 7 on Friday.

I also got a lot more patient, with life and myself.

[Sattua]

I'm only 29 now... my biggest shift has been from thinking that education and learning and universities and knowing stuff was the most important and noblest thing there is... to thinking that any degree which doesn't directly lead to a well-paying job is a scam, and that universities are monkeyhouses for people who can't deal with the real world.

[faithfool]

Not a homophobe, but a bible believing "hate the sin, not the sinner" stance Christian to a current staunch GLBT advocate. Also, from pro-life to pro-choice.

[FallenAngel]

I was a screaming liberal for years. Then I figured out that liberalism is just as oppressive and ineffective as conservatism, just on different sets of issues. Now I guess you could call me a moderate anarcho-captialist or strict-interpretation constitutionalist,

[sevenwood]

My biggest change of opinion was actually the realization that I could be wrong. Followed by the realization of just how often I could be wrong.

[Zeriel]

I did a fairly major religion switch (Catholic to Pagan to Zen Buddhist). I can't say why I changed my mind, really, it just sort of happened.

I also have made a fairly major shift from my college days as an angry minarchist libertarian to the social lib/fiscal moderate progressive (Obama Republican, perhaps?) I am today. Grew up Republican in a town full of broke-ass white people and seeing essentially all the worst stereotypes of welfare paraded on a daily basis (my dad was so hard-up for employees that I was a full-on shift manager at his general store at age 17, bossing around ladies in their 40s and 50s who simply didn't give two shits about anything but their pin money. Literally the only full time employees to this day have been members of my immediate family, and not for lack of trying to find some.) My folks were always the kind of Republicans who didn't much care about your skin color or religion or who you were having sex with as long as you were clean-cut and responsible, and I took that away. Got to college, and between learning more about the causes and issues of poverty and watching the Clinton and Bush Jr. years go by as an increasingly savvy adult started changing my outlook--first to minarchy, when I didn't have much and wanted to keep it. As I started having more with job promotions etc it became apparent to me watching my friends and acquaintances go through life that ability and drive only go so far, and a lot of it is luck or chance--with that understanding I became a lot more in favor of setting up societally-based mechanisms that would keep the lights on and food on the table for the unlucky. The final step in my transformation was along those lines, only with the benefit of a few more years and understanding how long an unlucky streak could last--a case in point, two friends of mine who are married graduated in the same field with similar GPA, etc. Basically, qualification-wise, indistinguishable. He's a senior engineer in his field with what seems like his pick of jobs (as in, he jumped companies to a better position last year in the midst of a particularly down spike). She's been out of work for three-four years, was laid off with no explanation from her first and only job in the field, etc. When I can witness that and see someone who'd have gone from a year of $50k/yr employment and a letter of recommendation and then nothing for years, I can't blind myself and claim that she brought it on herself.

[neuroman]

I realized that girls aren't scary.

Maybe that wasn't an articulate enough thought to qualify as an "opinion" though, so I'll say this instead:

Originally Posted by sevenwood

My biggest change of opinion was actually the realization that I could be wrong.

But not this:

Followed by the realization of just how often I could be wrong.

[Dinsdale]

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

Are you a former homophobe who now supports gay marriage?

This one.

And I used to support capital punishment, but now do not.

[The Second Stone]

When I was 20 I would not have accepted that utterly contradictory conditions could exist. The cat could not be both alive and dead at the same time. I now see that this is the general condition of nature except in very isolated circumstances with all sorts of conditions attached. Or as the drunks say, it is always happy hour somewhere.

I used to be against gay marriage. Then I confronted myself with the utter illogic of my position and I am now for it.

[mbh]

I used to think we should lower the drinking age.
Now I often think we should raise the voting age.

[salinqmind]

Disappointing experiences with church-going in my early years led to rejection of any kind of religion, making me sort of agnostic. Now I'm still against the church, but OK with God. I find myself reading about spirituality, and praying (never rejected praying). Maybe because I'm getting older and want to be on the safe side ?

And...I've always had a bad relationship with my mother, who had her share of problems. Now we're something like friends. I feel sorry for her - but still have to push myself to man up and do the right things and be a good daughter. But I DO do the right things, and feel better afterwards.

[jjimm]

That the government should have nothing to do with industries that are not essential to society, and should leave other ones alone (within legal constraints and taxation reasonable to society, of course).

That everything in one's life is impermanent.

That every political ideal is confounded by human nature - and rather than it being people that are wrong, if the ideal doesn't take people into account, it means that the ideal is wrong. The only good political ideals are ones that take human nature into account at the outset - the rest are crap.

[tonyfop]

I went to a Catholic, All Male High Scool on Long Island. Homophobic epithets were thrown around all the time. It was pretty much standard practice to use all of the usual terms. I then went to college. Pretty early on, I threw out a homophobic epithet, and got a response like, "So what, I am gay". So were other people in the room. Light clicked on in my head. Gay people actually exist, and they are some of my friends. I liked them before I knew they were gay, how does that knowledge change my relationship? It doesn't. That original gay guy that opened my eyes is still a facebook friend of mine, 21 years later.

[ZPG Zealot]

I use to be more tolerant of the extreme, extreme right-wing. I mean the crackpots provide us with so much free comedy. Then I grew up and realized some of the really looney ones aren't performance artists. They are dangerous.

[ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]

I realized that my parents did in fact know what they were talking about most of the time.

[Yorikke]

When I was a kid, I didn't know (or didn't think I knew) any real gay people. I didn't like them, simply because that's what the other kids said. I've always been a liberal-type, but just didn't like the gays.

I moved to San Francisco many years ago. I have met many gay people. I am truly ashamed of how I felt before.

Joe

[Yarster]

Homophobe to supporting gay marriage is actually a big one for me. I had a bunch of friends in high school that were nerds like me and couldn't get any women. It never occurred to me that one of my close friends wasn't actually trying to. He came out in college, but we were at different colleges, and he hid it from me for years for fear I would disown him. Truth is, had he come out in high school or even college, I probably would have. But years later, he finally told me, and the revelation that he was gay and yet such a great guy literally changed my opinion overnight.

Other things have come full circle. That is, right wing in high school, left wing in college and the first part of my career, then right wing again after graduate school.

Oh, and I was NEVER going to get married (celebrating my 13th anniversary to the greatest women in the world this year)...

[breezman]

I used to be pretty homophobic, but I got over that in the second half of my 20s. I currently have a few good friend and many more acquaintances who are gay. There was a period of several years when I lost touch with a really good friend because of my homophobia, and I really regret that.

Also, I used to be pro-life. Looking back, I think that my view of the whole issue was a bit simplistic. Though I loathe the way that the issue has been shoehorned into a dichotomy, if I were forced to choose one of the prevalent sides, I would pick pro-choice.

[vivalostwages]

I'm much more agnostic now than I ever was as a kid.

[Procrustus]

I used to like dogs a lot more than I do now.

I can't honestly see any reason for pets now, other than everyone else in my family seems to like them.

[jsgoddess]

I went from trying my damnedest to convince myself I was religious to full-fledged atheism.

But the biggest change is simply one of tolerance. One day I realized that most people are doing the best they can and if I find them annoying it's probably at least as much me as it is them. I still find them annoying, but I can at least see how bitchy I'm being!

Oh, and life is short as hell. And love doesn't conquer all, but it sure does make the battles easier.

[kapri]

More liberal now, much, much less religious and as a result less judgmental.

I feel free now; before, I felt oppressed.

[StGermain]

I am far less fiscally liberal than I was when I was young. I used to believe in social programs, but the longer I work hard to support myself, the less I feel like supporting anyone else. My father used to have a sign in his office that says "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part", and I believe that.

Not that I don't believe that people never deserve help - I believe children and animals particularly deserve the essentials. But if you have the mental capacity to work, then you should. If you only have the capacity to bag groceries, you should do that. If you've been physically incapacitated but still have the ability to talk on the phone and type in a computer, you should be working. If you chose to get a Master's degree in 17th Century literature and the only job you can get is stocking at Wal-Mart, you'd better be willing to don a blue apron. And don't expect me to foot the bill for your education. When I was young, I probably would've loved the movie Rent. Seeing it as a 48 year old, I just wanted to tell the adults to grow up and support themselves. Adults should take care of themselves.

StG

[John DiFool]

Change of opinion? About myself, absolutely. I've gone from a depressed (it got pretty bad yes), confused, wishywashy, directionless, shy wallflower with absolutely no clue as to whom I was to, well, where most of those things have turned around 180 degrees (or 540, or something). If I had known many things I now know about myself that I was completely ignorant of back then, well, you know.

[needscoffee]

I can't think of anything I've changed my opinion on since adulthood, which makes me wonder if I am foolishly stubborn or if I was just right all along.

[overlyverbose]

There are lots of things I can think of. Here are only a few:

I thought fat people were lazy slobs who didn't have any self control. Until I started working full time, had a couple kids and - voila! - overweight. I'm correcting it, but never realized how insidious weight gain can be until reality set in, along with 20 extra pounds.

I made promises to myself about what I would do when I was a parent. I'll never formula feed, I'll never cosleep, I'll never feed my baby store-bought baby food, let him/her use a pacifier, threaten to pull over the car, etc. I've broken every single one of those promises with the exception of the pacifier, but not for lack of trying (neither would take one).

I used to look down on women who chose not to work as "just housewives." Now I think that the feminist movement, while in many cases invaluable, actually backed many women into a corner with respect to their careers. Most women I know who admit to being stay-at-home moms or housewives say it kind of sheepishly like it's something they should be ashamed of, and I think that sucks.

[Autolycus]

I guess going from Catholic to atheist.

[happyrobotfuture]

Originally Posted by sevenwood

My biggest change of opinion was actually the realization that I could be wrong. Followed by the realization of just how often I could be wrong.

This time a million.

Something that got on my nerves a long time ago, was a friend's father who always had an answer for every situation. It took me years to figure out why that truly bothered me. I thought it was just because I disagreed with his point of view at first. Then I realized that he sometimes had decent points, but I couldn't stand his approach to any argument.

Because in his mind he was never wrong. If he was wrong in the past, then surely it was just some sort of misunderstanding.

My personal opinions have been silly in the past due to youth. My opinions are silly now due to lack of experience. My opinions will continue to change with age due to my own experiences, and how I choose to view them. Anyone who thinks they are done growing by any age that doesn't kill them is an idiot.

This is coming from a 31 year old by the way.

[Taomist]

Not going to think about 'biggest', 'cause that's too much work right now.

But...

...I can recall, relive, EXACTLY what I felt and thought as I made various decisions and did various things when I was 16, everything from first sex to first sneaking out of the house to first drink; and I thought then, and STILL THINK, that everything I did was something I'd do again, given the same information. I was fairly practical.

Knowing all of that, I still can't imagine my 16-year old niece going through any of that without my thinking 'OMG NO CRAP SHE'S TOO YOUNG AND GOING TO SCREW UP!!'

It's VERY weird having those two points of view at one time, and agreeing with both of them. O.o

[panache45]

I had already gone through my major changes by my late teens . . . then spent the remaining years transforming from Objectivist to Recovering Objectivist. The major changes have been political, changing from Libertarian to something like a Clinton Democrat. Sadly, it looks like whichever group is in power has an equal chance of making a horrible mess of everything. I'm quickly becoming apolitical.

[MrDibble]

I went from fairly communist in upbringing to a hardcore capitalist in university to a fairly staunch anarchist the last 10 years.
Despite my personal pacifism, I've come around to the pro-gun-ownership (for others) side of the gun control debate, as a direct result of debates I've lurked in here.
ETA; Oh, and I guess going from thinking I was gay in my twenties to being more of a slightly-bisexual-but-really-likes-the-ladies-more should be in there.