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  #101  
Old 02-18-2010, 08:31 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by melodyharmonius View Post
I'm there. Do you want me to wear my black or black & pink ones?
DUH!

Black and pink, of course. And wear the skirt that goes all the way down to the top of your hips.
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  #102  
Old 02-18-2010, 09:15 AM
JerseyFrank JerseyFrank is offline
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I was having trouble putting in / getting accustomed to contact lenses. If a woman at work offers to help you learn to put in your lenses at her place and asks if you're there if you can fix her computer... specifically when her boyfriend is not home, you should just avoid that whole situation. I didn't, but it didn't turn out as badly as you might expect. I took the invitation as simply an invitation to do the two tasks at hand. I accomplished them and then went on with my day. She never really treated me the same after that and it took me way too long to realize that she was probably "into me" and looking for an excuse to get out of her current relationship.

Had I realized and acted on it, it probably would've been really, really messy. Fortunately for me, I would've had the common sense to avoid the drama even if I did recognize her come-ons.

More practical advice? Ask your married friends. Shortly after I got married, I had to beat the women off with a stick; and I'm not a physically attractive (though not repulsive) guy. Once I was able to stand outside myself and see what was really happening to me, it was obvious. There was something about being young, confident and unavailable that was like a goddamned super-pheromone.
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  #103  
Old 02-18-2010, 09:19 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by melodyharmonius View Post
Yea, verily, be it known that wait staff are obligated to talk to you and are encouraged to be friendly in order to garner higher wages and created a friendly ambience that develops repeat business.
True enough. But see the mirror thread on why guys often miss the obvious signals that a woman is sending out. As I predicted, the answers were overwhelmingly "They were too subtle", "I wasn't looking for them", and "I just assumed that she's that way with everyone."

Was condom girl flirting with me, or was she just providing good customer service? I'll never know, but a cute girl told me she was single and unhappy about it, and she wanted to show me sex toys. I should have stuck around long to find out.
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  #104  
Old 02-18-2010, 10:25 AM
melodyharmonius melodyharmonius is offline
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
True enough. But see the mirror thread on why guys often miss the obvious signals that a woman is sending out. As I predicted, the answers were overwhelmingly "They were too subtle", "I wasn't looking for them", and "I just assumed that she's that way with everyone."

Was condom girl flirting with me, or was she just providing good customer service? I'll never know, but a cute girl told me she was single and unhappy about it, and she wanted to show me sex toys. I should have stuck around long to find out.
Condom girl is different - she was not going to be tipped for her services to you. At least not her retail services.
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  #105  
Old 02-18-2010, 10:30 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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I never did give her the tip. Or the rest of it. Oh well.
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  #106  
Old 02-18-2010, 10:30 AM
melodyharmonius melodyharmonius is offline
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
I never did give her the tip. Or the rest of it. Oh well.
The story hasn't ended yet.
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  #107  
Old 02-18-2010, 10:49 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by melodyharmonius View Post
The story hasn't ended yet.
It probably has. I'm not likely going to go in there again, unless there is specifically something I want to buy. I thought condom girl was cute, but she really wasn't my type.

Bookstore girl, though? God, I'm still kicking myself for missing the opportunity with her.
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  #108  
Old 02-18-2010, 04:15 PM
PookahMacPhellimey PookahMacPhellimey is offline
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Originally Posted by Rack-a-Bones View Post
When you were single. So, how did you finally get caught?
Italian guy. Cliched, but true at least for me. Many Mediterranean guys are just that bit more daring/persistent and more willing to run the risk of rejection if there's a chance they might score.

Last edited by PookahMacPhellimey; 02-18-2010 at 04:15 PM..
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  #109  
Old 02-18-2010, 07:08 PM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train View Post
Rule #14: Don't mess with the help.

So, approach, but only when you're interested, which will be indicated by a complex sequence of lash-batting, touching, alternating eye contact and avoidance, and other signs of apparent interest, which changes daily like the keys on an Enigma decoder. Otherwise, men should keep their expression of interest to themselves, lest they be branded monumental creeps and excluded socially by the circle of common friends after news of their social ineptitude is conveyed to all and sundry. Is that approximately correct?
No, I mean a person who shows you minimal positive interest, such as occasionally laughing at your stupid jokes, shouldn't then be stalked.
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  #110  
Old 02-19-2010, 10:00 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Hmm. Had lunch with one of the aforementioned girls today, and when we sat down she wrapped her leg round mine, put her hand on my thigh several times, then started rubbing my knee.

I still don't know if she's interested or not.

SPOILER:
I kid. Not even I'm that blind this time.
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  #111  
Old 02-19-2010, 10:22 AM
breaking-reality breaking-reality is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Hmm. Had lunch with one of the aforementioned girls today, and when we sat down she wrapped her leg round mine, put her hand on my thigh several times, then started rubbing my knee.

I still don't know if she's interested or not.

SPOILER:
I kid. Not even I'm that blind this time.
I have a friend who says he often doesn't know if he's on a date or not until he ends up in bed with the girl.
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  #112  
Old 02-19-2010, 10:35 AM
Unintentionally Blank Unintentionally Blank is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Hmm. Had lunch with one of the aforementioned girls today, and when we sat down she wrapped her leg round mine, put her hand on my thigh several times, then started rubbing my knee.

I still don't know if she's interested or not.

SPOILER:
I kid. Not even I'm that blind this time.
If she mounts you, perhaps THAT'S the time to ask. Before that it's just too ambiguous.
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  #113  
Old 02-19-2010, 01:01 PM
handsomeharry handsomeharry is offline
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Originally Posted by HazelNutCoffee View Post
I tend to signal my interest by getting drunk with the guy in question and then making out with him after dragging him to a dark corner. That's just me though.
So! I guess we studboys are supposed to understand what THAT means?!?!?!?! Like that's supposed to be some kind of message?!?!?!?!?!Sheesh!

hh
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  #114  
Old 02-19-2010, 01:09 PM
Richard Pearse Richard Pearse is offline
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Originally Posted by handsomeharry View Post
So! I guess we studboys are supposed to understand what THAT means?!?!?!?! Like that's supposed to be some kind of message?!?!?!?!?!Sheesh!

hh
Yeah man, we're not freaking mind readers you know!
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  #115  
Old 02-19-2010, 01:11 PM
handsomeharry handsomeharry is offline
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Originally Posted by Shakes View Post
She's either being a cock tease or she's into you.

The age thing makes me wary but you never know.
Sounds like you're in like Flynn.
Ask her something like "Do you do this to all of your trainers?"
Maybe. I've been such an idiot, that whenever I have been hit on by subordinates, that I pull away, fearing sexual harassment.
What I didn't realize at the time, responding would be more of a job requirement/perc rather than...
You get the idea.
Jobs are a dime a dozen, compared to 'the one chance."
Take it.

Best wishes,
hh
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  #116  
Old 02-19-2010, 01:13 PM
handsomeharry handsomeharry is offline
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Originally Posted by 1920s Style "Death Ray" View Post
Yeah man, we're not freaking mind readers you know!
Yeah!! Yeah!! Mindreaders!!!We're not!! Thanks, 1920s etc...!

Yeah!

hh
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  #117  
Old 02-19-2010, 01:38 PM
handsomeharry handsomeharry is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Hmm. Had lunch with one of the aforementioned girls today, and when we sat down she wrapped her leg round mine, put her hand on my thigh several times, then started rubbing my knee.

I still don't know if she's interested or not.

SPOILER:
I kid. Not even I'm that blind this time.
Which one?

BTW, if you're with the one whose jugs you grabbed, next time she says "I have to go now." MAKE her stay. I don't mean make as in force, but, get semi-pushy, whatever that means, and is legal. She wants you to put up resistance to her leaving. Guess how I know this? Because, I didn't. A month later, she straightened me out.

hh
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  #118  
Old 02-19-2010, 03:28 PM
Declan Declan is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Hmm. Had lunch with one of the aforementioned girls today, and when we sat down she wrapped her leg round mine, put her hand on my thigh several times, then started rubbing my knee.

I still don't know if she's interested or not.

SPOILER:
I kid. Not even I'm that blind this time.
Time to up the racy conversation and put it on a more sexual level, like ask her what color bra she is wearing.

Declan

Last edited by Declan; 02-19-2010 at 03:30 PM..
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  #119  
Old 02-19-2010, 06:26 PM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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Originally Posted by handsomeharry View Post
Which one?

BTW, if you're with the one whose jugs you grabbed, next time she says "I have to go now." MAKE her stay. I don't mean make as in force, but, get semi-pushy, whatever that means, and is legal. She wants you to put up resistance to her leaving. Guess how I know this? Because, I didn't. A month later, she straightened me out.

hh

HH,

What is the reason for this? Is it to boost her ego? Because she's insecure about the man's desire for her? Something else?

Did the woman who did that in your case realise she was putting you in a rather difficult position? I've read case-law where a man eventually allowed the woman to leave without having sex with her, never used violence or threats and was convicted of sexual assault.

Whatever happened to "no means no"? Isn't being non-pushy when it comes to sex the non-assholish thing to do?

Last edited by MichaelEmouse; 02-19-2010 at 06:28 PM..
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  #120  
Old 02-19-2010, 07:15 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
DUH!

Black and pink, of course. And wear the skirt that goes all the way down to the top of your hips.
This thread has demonstrations?!
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  #121  
Old 02-20-2010, 03:54 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Originally Posted by handsomeharry View Post
Which one?
The one who sprawled on me on the sofa.
Quote:
BTW, if you're with the one whose jugs you grabbed, next time she says "I have to go now." MAKE her stay. I don't mean make as in force, but, get semi-pushy, whatever that means, and is legal. She wants you to put up resistance to her leaving. Guess how I know this? Because, I didn't. A month later, she straightened me out.
I should emphasize that I didn't "grab her jugs" - she put herself into a position that my hand was resting on them. I then just explored any opportunities that were to hand, so to speak...

Anyway, interesting. I wouldn't have thought of trying to make her. I'm not a pushy person, and I certainly don't want to appear to beg. Anything she does should be of her own volition - but I do kind of see that I could demonstrate my ardour a little more firmly. I actually think she's ever-so-slightly messed up, and I'm a nice person, so wouldn't want to hurt her in any way. She did seek me out on Thursday night and walk 20 minutes in the snow to come and see me, though left early, but gave me a very clingy and affectionate cuddle before she left. She has asked me to take her for a walk tomorrow, though, and I will be very tactile from the get-go. We shall see.
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  #122  
Old 02-20-2010, 07:24 AM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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Originally Posted by msmith537 View Post
-Asks you if you know where the bathroom is and if you can help her find it
(Snip)

This struck a nerve.

I remember once I was out with a group of friends (cowrkers). We were watching some popular band play a this huge bar.

One of my female friends, who I've always thought was pretty but never really thought of dating wise; yells in my ear over the loud music: "YOU KNOW WHERE THE RESTROOM IS?"

I started to tell her but then I realized, that the crowd between us and the restroom was way too thick for this petite, little, girl to get through. So instead, I just took her by the hand and said "Come on".

I wasn't trying to be romantic, I just wanted to act like a bulldozer to get her through the crowd so she could go take care of business.

So anyway, we get there, she does her thing and then I take her by the hand again so we can get back to our group of friends.

Let me tell you guys something: That small little act had this girl purring for me like I couldn't believe. She had never shown any interest before that night.

Last edited by Shakes; 02-20-2010 at 07:26 AM..
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  #123  
Old 02-20-2010, 07:46 AM
EvilTOJ EvilTOJ is offline
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So did she get the shakes later?
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  #124  
Old 02-20-2010, 08:42 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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I'm just going to throw this out there and you guys can take it or leave it as you see fit. I'm not sure that I believe it myself, but I've heard it enough times from dating experts and it certainly seems true enough from my past experiences.

Whether or not she likes you doesn't matter. What you really want is to get to the next step, right? The next step is:

You see her walking down the street and you want to stop her and introduce yourself.

Or you're having coffee with her and you want to put your hand on her knee.

Or it's the end of the date (or the beginning, or the middle) and you want to kiss her.

Or you're kissing her and you want to touch her breasts.

Or you're heavily making out and you want to remove her panties.

Forget about how she feels about it. How do YOU feel about it? Imagine it just before you do it. Do you suddenly feel a little sick to your stomach? Does your chest tighten up? Do you feel like the world's biggest creep? Or do you feel like it's the most natural, beautiful thing ever?

Women are empathic. They feel what you feel. And to a certain extent, you feel what she's feeling. If the very thought of taking the next step fills you with revulsion, she's not into you at that particular moment. If you see nothing but green lights ahead, then go for it.

Use this with caution, of course. Your radar might be so out of whack that you just can't trust it, and you certainly don't want to make unwanted advances. But your radar is probably more in tune than you think it is.

What if you make your move and you're not sure it was welcome? Then unmake the move. Maybe you hold her hand and her hand is like a limp fish. Then let go of it and go back to what you were doing before. If she likes you, she'll grab your hand right back.

I don't know -- opinions?

Last edited by tdn; 02-20-2010 at 08:43 AM..
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  #125  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:01 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post


I don't know -- opinions?

Your reassurance that "They feel what you feel. And to a certain extent, you feel what she's feeling. If the very thought of taking the next step fills you with revulsion, she's not into you at that particular moment. If you see nothing but green lights ahead, then go for it" is then annihilated with "Your radar might be so out of whack that you just can't trust it, and you certainly don't want to make unwanted advances."




So, there's a telepathic link and you should totally trust it because it works. Except when it doesn't work. And you certainly don't want to act on it when it doesn't work.
How do you know if it works? You act on it (but not when it doesn't work!).
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  #126  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:08 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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wouldn't let me add it to the previous post

Although your idea of undoing a move and then letting her redo it is pretty good for some moves.
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  #127  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:08 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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You'll have to try it out for yourself, of course. But I find that I can trust my gut about 80% of the time.
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  #128  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:37 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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And the other 20% of the time, what's liable to happen?
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  #129  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:50 AM
Unintentionally Blank Unintentionally Blank is offline
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And the other 20% of the time, what's liable to happen?
You're liable.

Really with all the fear and wondering, it's a wonder anybody EVER hooks up!
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  #130  
Old 02-20-2010, 10:02 AM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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Originally Posted by EvilTOJ View Post
So did she get the shakes later?
Nah, I know her well enough she doesn't do the ONS thing. I also so know her well enough that she's too moody for me to be in a relationship with.

Still, I love her to death as a friend.
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  #131  
Old 02-20-2010, 10:15 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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And the other 20% of the time, what's liable to happen?
I trust it to luck.
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  #132  
Old 02-20-2010, 10:31 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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TDN,

To put it another way, what has happened the times you were wrong?
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  #133  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:11 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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TDN,

To put it another way, what has happened the times you were wrong?
Like if I tried to hold her hand and she pulled it back? I stopped trying to hold her hand.
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  #134  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:16 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
Like if I tried to hold her hand and she pulled it back? I stopped trying to hold her hand.

I meant for:

"kiss her", "touch her breasts", "remove her panties" which are the actions you mentioned.
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  #135  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:26 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by MichaelEmouse View Post
I meant for:

"kiss her", "touch her breasts", "remove her panties" which are the actions you mentioned.
I can't believe that I'm answering such a silly question, and one that I've already answered quite clearly.

If I try to kiss her, and she pulls away, I stop trying to kiss her.

If I try to touch her breasts, and she pulls away, I stop trying to touch her breasts.

If she's in my bed voluntarily, and is making out with me, and all she's wearing is her panties, well... There's a fair chance that MAYBE she likes me.

But that's not the answer you wanted to hear. Why don't you go ahead and ask the real question?
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  #136  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:33 AM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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I can't believe that I'm answering such a silly question, and one that I've already answered quite clearly.

If I try to kiss her, and she pulls away, I stop trying to kiss her.

If I try to touch her breasts, and she pulls away, I stop trying to touch her breasts.

If she's in my bed voluntarily, and is making out with me, and all she's wearing is her panties, well... There's a fair chance that MAYBE she likes me.

But that's not the answer you wanted to hear. Why don't you go ahead and ask the real question?


I have asked it. But I was not interested in what you did when you were wrong. Obviously, if you try something and it's not welcome, you stop it.

Perhaps the way I phrased it didn't make it obvious, but I have no interest in finding out how YOU reacted when you tried something that was unwelcome, but rather how SHE reacted when you kissed/touched her/removed clothing and it was unwelcome. Unwelcome kissing/touching/removing of clothing is only ever reacted to with a simple pulling away?

Last edited by MichaelEmouse; 02-20-2010 at 11:35 AM..
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  #137  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:40 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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I'm still not quite sure where you're going with this.

What other reactions from her are you looking for? Me getting slapped? Her walking out on me? Not getting another date with her? Or are you getting at something a little more sinister?
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  #138  
Old 02-20-2010, 12:01 PM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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I'm still not quite sure where you're going with this.

What other reactions from her are you looking for? Me getting slapped? Her walking out on me? Not getting another date with her? Or are you getting at something a little more sinister?

You said that 20% of the time you're wrong. I realise that this will vary from one person to another but let's take that percentage. I asked you what's liable to happen in that 20% of times.

So, yes, what is realistically liable to happen in terms of her reaction in that 20% of times you're wrong and kiss/touch/remove her clothing, aside from pulling away?

As for "more sinister", I'm not sure what you mean by that, could you specify?
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  #139  
Old 02-20-2010, 12:06 PM
Student Driver Student Driver is offline
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I'm still not quite sure where you're going with this.

What other reactions from her are you looking for? Me getting slapped? Her walking out on me? Not getting another date with her? Or are you getting at something a little more sinister?
I doubt it's anything sinister, I think what he's getting at is "what happens to a relationship if you push too far with a woman with whom you're friendly?"

Most guys (myself included) that I've known that have been afraid to make a move on a girl they like have been afraid because there's a level of friendship built up, valuable enough that there's a fear of accidentally trashing the friendship by making an unwanted advance. The "what happens" thing asks "what happens to the friendship" after you push too far with someone who likes you, but "not that way."

(Gotta admit, I'm a bit curious... I've got a lot of missed chances in my past due to these kinds of fears, but being in a relationship currently, I'm actually kind of thankful that someone of the women I used to crush on are just friends and therefore still part of my social circle.)
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  #140  
Old 02-20-2010, 12:15 PM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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It's partially what happens to the friendship.

But it's also what happens to a (obviously past friendship) relationship in that 20% of times.

The only thing sinister that could be part of my question would be concerns for legal liability and reputation. I'm not talking about hurting a woman beyond taking it a step above what she wants.
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  #141  
Old 02-20-2010, 01:04 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Ah, OK, I think I get the question.

This is just my own personal experience, of course. But in general I don't date my friends. I've been out on dates with some women where it just wasn't on, and sometimes we ended up as friends. I'm going out to dinner with one such friend in a couple of hours.

But if I meet a woman that I have a romantic or sexual interest in, then I make sure that that's the dynamic right from the start.

From there it's more or less an escalation from conversation to touching to the bedroom. It might take place over a few hours (yeah, I wish) to several weeks or even longer. If at any time she puts up resistance, it can general go one of three ways: We decide we're not right for each other and part ways, we decide we're not right for each other and become friends, or she needs for us to slow down but it's going to happen eventually. In that last case I slow down even more than she wants and I give her some space to get used to the idea. If things are really on she very well might be the one to push it to the next level.

I can think of a couple of cases in my recent past where "No" meant "Not yet."

In one case, she walked through my front door, I kissed her, then led her to my bed. Her "No" was that she wanted to take her boots off first. Ten minutes later (these were some serious boots), I was giving her the time of her life.

In another, I went for the panties. Her "No" was "I'm on my period, but will you spend the night with me?" That was at the beginning of the best relationship I've ever had.

Does that answer your question?
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  #142  
Old 02-20-2010, 05:45 PM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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TDN,

Much more so. The times she put up resistance, in what way did she put up resistance and what happened immediately afterward, before you had the talk about the 3 options?
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  #143  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:48 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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OK, good, I'm glad we're starting to understand each other better.

I'm getting less resistance lately, probably because I'm starting to get a better Spidey-sense of what she will go for and when. But there are so many permutations it's hard for me to tell you anything that I would call typical. I guess I can give you three examples that kind of run the gamut. In none of these examples was I trusting my gut, at least consciously, because that's kind of a new concept for me.

Example 1: When I was in high school, there was a girl who liked me. I never did ask her out, largely because I didn't even know her name. But she was always trying to corner me and get close. At one point we found ourselves alone and ended up making out. Several times I inched a hand up to her breast, and each time she pushed it away. We never talked about it, and in fact we never stopped kissing. She didn't get upset that I was trying, we just kept making out. We graduated high school and I never saw her again. To this day I don't know her name.

Example 2: About ten years ago, I started hanging out with a friend of friends. We began to spend more and more time alone together, and one night we just started kissing. Pretty soon she was coming over to my place several nights a week. We'd always end up making out, and I'd always try to escalate the sexual stuff. Usually she'd let me get so far, then say "nuh uh", maybe pushing my hand away. But we'd always keep making out. Things eventually got to the point where we gave each other oral sex, but she was always a bit reluctant. Her ultimate resistance was to my trying to establish our friendship as a relationship. She called one night and said that things were just not working out. She wanted to remain friends, but I was emotionally devastated -- I loved her very intensely by then. She since got married. I would love to be friends with her again, and I don't think it would be weird.

Example 3: I was out on a first date with someone a few months ago. Our conversation was deep and intense and fantastic. At one point I reached over the table and grabbed her hand. I honestly can't tell you whether my gut was telling me if it was a good or bad idea. My brain thought it was a great idea, though. As the night progressed, I kept holding her hand. But she didn't hold mine. She was totally passive. She never yanked it away, she just kind of put up with it. As we were walking to the train station to part ways, my gut came up with a wonderful idea. I stopped her, turned to face her, pulled her in, and put my tongue in her mouth. Far from resisting, she kissed me back pretty aggressively. We got to the train station and said goodnight. The next morning she e-mailed me to tell me that she just wasn't feeling attraction to me. We never spoke again.

Other than that, my usual resistance story is trying to go for the kiss at the end of a date, and getting a handshake instead. I never called for a second date in those cases. I've never been slapped, never had someone walk out in a huff, and never had a woman freak out on me. And I've never lost a friend over it, except for example 2. But like I said, I don't usually date friends.

As far as talking about the three options, it's not like I ever gave a girl three option questionnaire, at least not since 4th grade. If I like a woman and think she likes me, I'll call her. She'll either say yes or no thanks.

To get back to the heart of your question, what about the 20% when my gut is wrong? Well, we all screw things up every now and then. A bad decision on my part has never ended in true catastrophe. Just lost opportunity, and sometimes a broken heart.

I hope I'm giving you a better understanding!
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  #144  
Old 02-21-2010, 10:44 PM
septimus septimus is online now
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I'll tell a true story, though the only moral of the story may be how out-of-touch with reality septimus tends to be.

In the late 1980's a friend and I went to a Lyon's restaurant late one night. We ordered just salad and coffee, I saying I'd look at the menu and probably order dinner later. The attractive waitress and I really seemed to hit it off well, though our total conversation might have been just a single minute.

I did order a steak dinner later; waitress dropped off our check saying her shift was over, and making a confusing statement about manager not liking two checks for one table. When I went to cashier to pay the bill, I found it was just for salad and coffee -- no steak dinner. Now what should I do? I didn't give the matter much thought, but didn't want waitress to get in trouble, and certainly didn't want to be in trouble myself, so I told cashier about the steak dinner! She went off and talked to the manager for quite a while.

At some point it suddenly dawned on me that waitress had arranged a free dinner for me as a giant signal of interest, and I'd probably cost her her job. The free dinner seemed very incongruous; my long-term wives or girlfriends have never stolen for me, and I'd "known" this waitress for one minute!

Anyone else ever experience something like this?
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  #145  
Old 02-22-2010, 03:01 AM
Isamu Isamu is offline
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So this woman who knows I 'm married invites me out for drinks after work with a group of people. Turns out the "group of people" was just her.

I'm still not getting it.

Within 5 minutes she asks me if I've ever cheated on my wife.

I'm still not getting it.

She says I should.

I'm still not getting it.

She says I should do it with her because she'd totally like to.

It begins to dawn on me that she is probably into me.

Last edited by Isamu; 02-22-2010 at 03:01 AM..
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  #146  
Old 02-22-2010, 08:14 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isamu View Post
It begins to dawn on me that she is probably into me.
Well, I dunno man. You could be misreading the signals. I'd play it safe if I were you.

(In addition to the not cheating on the wife thing).
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  #147  
Old 02-22-2010, 05:37 PM
Dog80 Dog80 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by septimus View Post
Anyone else ever experience something like this?
Yes, something similar happened to me about 5 years ago.

Back then I was working at a computer repair shop. Each day before going to work I would stop to a coffee shop nearby to get a coffee. Everything was fine until that new girl came. She wouldn't let me pay for the coffee. I didn't think much about it the first time, because I was a regular customer and the manager had offered me free coffees several times in the past. But she did it again the next day. And the day after that. The whole thing made me feel awkward as hell. The following days I would simply take the coffee and leave the exact amount on the counter. Then she started offering me sweets and sandwiches

I never accepted anything and she eventually took the message and few days later stopped doing it. The strange thing was that she never did anything else, like asking my name or try to engage me in conversation. I guess she was too shy and offering me freebies was her way of showing interest and then she expected me to make the first step.

She was kinda cute and I was single at the time, but I was shy and inexperienced too, so I didn't make any moves.
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  #148  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:53 PM
Todderbob Todderbob is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by septimus View Post
Anyone else ever experience something like this?
I've offered cute girls free stuff, when I was at the counter. Not that it was much, really. A doughnut and a coffee, but none of them were ever so... clueless.. as to tell my manager about it (but even if they did, it was a risk I knew I was taking).


I worked at a coffee shop, and after, I guess it was ballet or some kind of dance, this absolutely beautiful teenage girl (I was her age, it wasn't pervy) came in (in fact, through the time I worked there, there were a few teenage girls at differing times through the day), but this one was stunning. The peak of what a girl her age should look like. It was a miracle I could speak at all.

I told her that as long as I was the one she talked to, she wouldn't be paying for anything, got her coffee, a doughnut, and when she objected I smiled politely and told her that pretty girls were good for business. She blushed, I asked her out, and we dated for a few weeks until I realized that no matter how pretty she was, she was exactly five times as crazy.


Free stuff works for picking up girls... especially ones who are fucking nuts. So I have to assume it works the other way.





As for getting offered free stuff? Only once, by an elderly woman who I think thought of me more as a nephew or grandchild than potential love interest.... at least, i hope...

Last edited by Todderbob; 02-22-2010 at 06:54 PM..
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  #149  
Old 02-23-2010, 01:22 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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If they start gathering twigs and straw and building a nest, it's generally a sign of interest.
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  #150  
Old 02-23-2010, 05:05 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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Location: Back in the GT eeehhhh...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
If they start gathering twigs and straw and building a nest, it's generally a sign of interest.
Yeah, but who wants to go out with a birdbrain? She might have chirpies. (It's a canarial disease that's almost untweetable.)

Last edited by Sunspace; 02-23-2010 at 05:07 PM..
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