i got totally freaked out this morning by seeing this 1/2 inch long bug on my kitchen counter. It looked like a mini-lobster with its rear pair of legs being the longest. It was also lobster colored (pre-boiled). It also has like a red W or red triangles in a W shape on the back. Does this sound like anything to anybody?
Was it shiny? Did it have noticeable antennae? Would you say it was a beetle? Did it move? Was its back/body flat and parallel to the table? Looked like a lobster in what way? Pincers? Same color as a lobster in what way? Green? Brown? A little help might go a long way here.
Was it a silverfish?
What about a centipede? Though I don’t know if they come in half inch varieties.
Young mole cricket?
Probably not the bug you were accosted by, but was it a jerusalem cricket.
I mostly wanted to link to a picture of said crickets because they get fucking huge and I am pretty sure they are not of this planet.
Some pics of Jerusalem crickets make them look like children’s toys: big, shiny dark eyes, a head that looks like it was made out of lacquered wood …
Other pics, not so cute.
I thought the OP was talking about a centipede or a silverfish, too, except for the red triangle part. I have no idea what that would indicate.
They used to call those “baby heads”. I wonder where the OP is located? That could help narrow it down. I initially thought of a “vinegaroon”, but they said it was 1/2 inch–so a vinegaroon would be much bigger (unless it was a baby).
We’re getting little to go on, here. I propose that in the absence of any legitimate information, we make up some shit. In my estimation, the “bug” you observed was probably an Eliglaphoreisis hemeronesis.
But I never saw an Eliglaphoreisis hemeronesis with a “red W” on its back. “Red M” would be more accurate.
Giant beetle, a.k.a. “holy shit bug”?
I’m guessing it’s a pseudo-scorpion.
“red W or red triangles in a W shape”? “rear pair of legs being the longest”? Nah. Doubt it.
Jesus christ! Oh wait, look how small it is. Awwww. 
I still maintain that jerusalem crickets are extraterrestial beings. I mean we all know this thing’s horn is for defense and engaging in combat with other beetles. Now look at the JCricket, no visible means of defense against huge enemies like humans. Only those large innocent-looking spring powered rear legs. You know what those are for right?
My question has been answered in the Qadop’s bug thread. Special thanks to mozchron and Palooka.
For those of us who were mildly curious, maybe you could provide a link? And do you mean Qadgop the Mercotan? He’s our local faith healer. What did he have to say about your little friend? Where’s his thread?
Sorry, it’s post 16 in this thread that I was referring to. Thanks everyone, and you too.
That’s weird. I answered Qadgop’s question in this thread, and they answered your question in his thread.
Wacky.