Once again - Describe a funny "Far Side" comic.

[Leaffan]

1) I hope you can help me Doc.
I came all the way from Alabama with this danged thing on my knee.
(Drawing shows guy in doctor's office with a banjo-shaped cyst on his knee.)

2) Where the deer and the antelope work.
(Drawing of deer and antelope pushing wheelbarrows, digging, etc.)


I like the song references.....

[Kimstu]

Ooh ooh ooh, my favorite:

Police officer in the living room, talking to a distressed-looking doe (a deer. A female deer), with a smug-looking guy toting a rifle in the background:

"I'm sorry ma'am, but his license checks out and after all, your husband was in season. Remember, just because he knocks doesn't mean you have to let him in."

[John Mace]

My favorite:

A father is talking to his son as they look at the house next door, which has wolves going in and out: "Sorry, Johnny. I know you like the Smiths, but they were weak and slow". (Or something like that.)

[wedgehed]

Two polar bears poised over a half eaten igloo...

"You're right! It's crunchy on the outside & chewy on the inside!"

[Satchmo]

A Baseball sitting on a little island, three fish, one with a bat, staring at it from the water. The caption "Great Moments in Evolution".

[Karen Lingel]

Dog on the porch, lawn mower on the lawn, a twisted path mown through the lawn, master with hands on hips saying "You call that mowin' the lawn? Bad dog! No biscuit! No biscuit!"

I'm always saying "No biscuit! No biscuit!" to people.

[KennerTheGreat]

One primitive looking man sees some people outside the window of his little hut. He yells to his friends "Anthropologists! Anthropologists!" His friends are scurrying around, trying to put away the TV, VCR, indoor lights, etc.

[Twoflower]

Woman walking from the chicken coop to the house, carrying a basket of eggs.

Hen walking the opposite direction, carrying a baby.

[Mahaloth]

A cow is grilling up some hamburgers on an open grill, with a chef hat and everything. Two other cows point to him in disgust.

"You're sick Jessie. Sick! Sick! Sick"

[sulamith]

Two cows sitting on a sofa. The phone is ringing on the side table. One cow says to the other, "There it goes again. And here we sit without opposable thumbs."

[Shark Sandwich]

The kid who's pushing on the "pull" door going into the school for the gifted.

[VarlosZ]

Donning his new canine decoder, Professor XXXXX becomes the first person to hear what dogs are actually saying when the bark.

Dog on the street next to the professor: "Hey! Hey! Hey!"
Dog in the next door yard: "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
Dog chasing car: "Hey! Hey!"
Dog in background: "Heeeeyyyyyy!"

[Kimstu]

Originally Posted by Shark Sandwich

The kid who's pushing on the "pull" door going into the school for the gifted.

Oh yeah. I still say "Midvale School for the Gifted" to myself whenever I push on a "pull" door or vice versa.

[MitzeKatze]

One of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned: Man talking (with finger shaking and all) to dog, "Ginger, I've had it! Stay out of the garbage! Do you understand, Ginger? Stay out of the garbage OR ELSE!." While dog looks on hearing, "Ginger! blah bah blah Ginger! blah blah blah."

Captioned: What we say to dogs.
What they hear.

[sulamith]

Oh, oh, another one!

A bear comes home to his den. He has a tag stapled to his ear, a radar collar on, a big "No. 8" painted on his side, and a hypodermic syringe sticking out of his backside. He is greeted by his clearly irritated she-bear wife who says, "Late again! Well I hope you have a good excuse this time."

[Leaffan]

A dog is sitting in a bar drinking a beer. He's glancing around with a look of sudden apprehension on his face.

Caption: Larry notices none of the other dogs in the bar are wearing a collar. He suddenly realizes he's entered a stray bar.

[KarlGrenze]

Group of scientist trying to decipher what dolphins say.

One of them has headphones and microphones and is listening to what a dolphin in its pool is saying. He then says something like this to the other ones:

"The dolphin is saying "buaynos-deeaz" (good morning) again!"

Others are marking it in the blackboard, that has mangled Spanish phrases (buenos días, cómo estás, etc.), written as they would phonetically sound to an English speaker.

The scientists cannot communicate with the dolphins because they can't recognize they speak Spanish instead of English.

[sweetie pea]

Bear on a unicycle, wearing a muzzle and a tutu, madly peddling away from a rip in the side of a circle tent:

"And Bobo remained free for the rest of his life, although he did require counseling."


A friend of mine and I were both going through a difficult time in university--she was coming out of the closet, complicated by the fact that she was married, and I was in love with a wholely unsuitable man--and we used to quote that line to encourage oneanother. "You'll make it through. You may require counseling, but you'll make it."

[Noel Prosequi]

The snake handler who gets a 30 year cumulative attack of the willies.

Beware of Doug. (still love that one. The furtive and suspicious look on Doug's face just makes it for me.)

[PaperBlob]

I came in here to say Midvale School for the Gifted, but since others have mentioned it, here are some of my other faves:

People are toiling away in Hell, except for one guy who's whistling as he works. One demon overseer says to the other: "You know, we're just not reaching that guy."

Coupla cowboys are huddled behind burning covered wagons, fighting indians. One says to the other: "Hey, they're lighting their arrows! Can they DO that?!"

Typical Gary Larson woman sitting in her living room. There's a big lizard in front of her wearing a human mask, hat, and trenchcoat, who says: "Dangit Monica, I can't live this lie any longer! I'm not a TV repairman who just stumbled into your life - I'm a Kimodo Dragon, largest member of the lizard family, and a filthy liar!"

There are so many good ones - that guy was a genius!

[Haunted Pasta]

Similer to the chicken egg and baby one: A guy is charging from the beach into the surf carrying a surfboard over his head, passing by a Creature-from-the-Black-Lagoon-ish thing charging from the surf onto the beach carrying a child's wagon over its head.

A couple of stereotypical gangster tough guys (large jowly faces, fedoras, dark glasses, trenchcoats) are looking up through binoculars at a little sparrow or chickadee or something on a tree branch. Caption: "Boid watching."

[Daddypants]

My absolute favorite:

A group of Christian soldiers in a choreographed skating move: "The Ice Crusades"

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Two spiders spin a web across the bottom of a playground slide.

"if we pull this off, we'll eat like kings!"

[Der Trihs]

Two guys in pith helmets, seen from the chest up. Looming up right behind them is the head of a huge buffalo. One guy is saying to the other "Buffalo breath? Buffalo breath?! Need I remind you of your incessant little grunting noises?!"


A crazed street preacher type is standing on a street corner box, ranting about "Vampires! The vampires are everywhere!!" Some guys are walking by lugging a sheet of window glass, and he is the only person on the street reflected in it.


Set in a butcher shop; there's a kid sweeping, the butcher, and a hulking lumpy guy in trench coat and broad brimmed hat. And the butcher is saying "Well, I'd never actually thought about it. But I think I'd let the kid go for three, four bucks a pound."


A bunch of guys in lab coats are looking out a picture window at a bunch of goofy looking people who are looking in and making faces. One of the scientists is saying "Yes, they're all fools gentlemen. But the question remains; what kind of fools are they?"

[clarkstar]

i always liked this one: scientist looking into a microscope at some amoebas or something titled lowest form of life: one of the amoebas is tugging on another's shirt while saying "shirts on fire! now its out!"

another favorite is titled "gods kitchen" i believe, he's taking the planet earth out of the oven and says to himself "something tells me this thing is only half baked"

[A Monkey With a Gun]

Two airline pilots are in the cockpit. One turns and says, "say... what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank".

[clarkstar]

Originally Posted by A Monkey With a Gun

Two airline pilots are in the cockpit. One turns and says, "say... what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank".

rofl

[Kimstu]

Gary Larson atrocity scandal fizzles due to "victim"'s having a functioning sense of humor:

Cartoonist Gary Larson once drew a cartoon in his The Far Side newspaper comic that showed two chimpanzees grooming. One finds a human hair on the other and inquires, "[Well, well, well, another blond hair.] Conducting a little more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp?"

The Jane Goodall Institute thought this to be in bad taste, and had their lawyers draft a letter to Larson and his distribution syndicate, in which they described the cartoon as an "atrocity." They were stymied, however, by Goodall herself, who revealed that she found the cartoon amusing. Since then, all profits from sales of a shirt featuring this cartoon have gone to the JGI.

[Snooooopy]

Satan stands in his office surveying his dominion as his wife sits at the table. And he asks his wife, "Edith ... am I a 'butthead'?"

[Shamozzle]

Two cavemen standing outside the entrance to their cave, one has his hand against a massive wall of ice and he says, "Wall of ice closer today, Thag?"


A dead deer strapped to the roof of a pickup truck, which contains two dead hunters. The truck is strapped to the hood of a UFO and two aliens inside are bearing huge grins and high-5'ing each other as they whiz through outer space.


A huge, broken jar labeled "Humans" lay in a field. We see a handful of naked humans fleeing the scene and God's sarcastic voice comes from the clouds: "Oh, that's just great."

[runner pat]

A couple of single celled organisms are sitting on a couch. Next to them is a projector, showing on the screen is a single celled organism undergoing division.

Amoeba porn.

Best part are the black bars obscuring the identity of the participants.

Visual.

[Der Trihs]

A bunch of damned souls in hell; two are looking at a dog. One is saying "I dunno; I always figured he was just a bad dog."



A cow driving a truck labeled "Al's Meats" past a field with cows. The caption is "And the other cows never spoke to Bessie again."



Two bears looking at a gun. One is saying " 'Thunderstick'? You actually said, 'thunderstick'? That my friend is a Winchester 30.06."



Two bears standing over a hunter they've apparently just clobbered. One bear is rifling through the guy's wallet.



A hulking figure wearing a trench coat and hat is entering a shop labeled "Unnatural Foods"

[Frostillicus]

A bowl of potato salad in the fridge is holding up the other food with a gun.

CAPTION: "When potato salad goes bad."

[John DiFool]

Originally Posted by Noel Prosequi

The snake handler who gets a 30 year cumulative attack of the willies.

Beware of Doug. (still love that one. The furtive and suspicious look on Doug's face just makes it for me.)

Surprised the Doper of the Same Name hasn't appeared in this thread yet.

Originally Posted by A Monkey With a Gun

Two airline pilots are in the cockpit. One turns and says, "say... what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank".

Of course like they'll be able to say all that after noticing the goat before they become smears on the mountainside.

You just know that many of these career-specific ones became automatic tape-ups/tack-ups/et al. on refrigerators/bulletin boards/office cubbies across the country.

My fave, like much of Larson's work (and unlike that of most of his imitators), works on several levels at once. Shipwreck survivor washes up on an island, and is greeted by a guy and his ventriloquist dummy:

"Hello friend, I am Ernie, and this is my pal Gus. Welcome to our island."

[Dummy]: "Watch out mister, Ernie's mad! He'll eat you first chance he gets."

"Ha ha, he's only joking around, pay no attention."

"No joke! He ate that German guy last year."

"Shut up Gus! Now what's your name, friend?"

"He's maaaad! Mad, I tell you!"

Kind of like a Liar's Paradox of a sort. If the "dummy" (Ernie) is telling the truth, then why would Ernie (who presumably does in fact want to "butter up" his new feast on two legs so he'll let down his guard and become easy meat) have him say that? If the dummy is lying, then again what's the point? You either conclude that Ernie is in fact bonkers (MPD), or that the dummy is actually sentient-but then why hasn't Ernie chopped him into kindling so Gus won't blow his cover? You could round and round on this about another dozen times if you wanted.

This thread reminds me, I can actually afford the whole collection now.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

A puffer fish, all puffed.
A rattler, shaking it's tail.
A cat, hissing.
A man, wearing a pot like a hat, rubber duckie floatie and holding a rifle.

caption: How nature says "don't touch"

[RickJay]

"Yes, gentlemen, they're fools. But what KIND of fools are they?"

and

"Cat Fud." (Oh please, oh please, oh please...)

[Tangent]

Originally Posted by clarkstar

another favorite is titled "gods kitchen" i believe, he's taking the planet earth out of the oven and says to himself "something tells me this thing is only half baked"

My favorite is similar:

The scene is the corner of a living room. There are some bookshelves under a window, and a cuckoo clock on the wall. The clock is 'chiming' but instead of a cuckoo bird springing out of the clock, there is a small globe of the Earth on the end of the spring.
The caption reads "In God's den."

What's even better is that I have that panel on a page from a Far Side calendar and it also includes this text:
1930 - Pluto, the planet farthest from the sun, is discovered by the Lowell Observatory staff in Flagstaff, Arizona. (Asked how they were able to spot an object so far away, the head of the observatory replied, "We squinted.")

[Bosstone]

Trouble brewing

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Originally Posted by RickJay

"Yes, gentlemen, they're fools. But what KIND of fools are they?"

and

"Cat Fud." (Oh please, oh please, oh please...)

In our house everyone gets served "fud".

"Mr. Jones, it's a fax from your dog. I think it's your cat."

[Spud]

Bears in a cave... one with two human skulls using them like puppets. "Hey, think there are any bears in this cave"... "I don't know... lets find out."

[Spud]

I can't believe I'm the first one to add "Bummer of a birthmark Hal."

[Chronos]

One of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned: Man talking (with finger shaking and all) to dog, "Ginger, I've had it! Stay out of the garbage! Do you understand, Ginger? Stay out of the garbage OR ELSE!." While dog looks on hearing, "Ginger! blah bah blah Ginger! blah blah blah."

Captioned: What we say to dogs.
What they hear.

There's a sequel to that one, too, and it's even better:
What we say to cats:
"Fluffy, how dare you knock over the fishbowl and eat the fish! Bad cat, Fluffy! Bad cat!"
What they hear:
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

[Askance]

A bunch of flying saucers are descending on earth, all piloted by dogs. On the ground a pet dog looks up and says to his owner: "So, they're finally here. Before I go, roll over and play dead".

And of course the famous Thagomizer strip.

[MadTheSwine]

Originally Posted by A Monkey With a Gun

Two airline pilots are in the cockpit. One turns and says, "say... what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank".

My all-time favorite.

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by Askance

And of course the famous Thagomizer strip.

And let's not forget Strigiphilus garylarsoni, a biting louse found on owls.

[postcards]

In a cave, with fire all around, Satan sits by a record player, whistling, with New Age Music albums scattered about. A glass window in the wall reveals another room, with speakers obviously blaring the music, and a black man pressed up against the glass, in much distress.

'Charlie Parker's private Hell'

[cochrane]

Dog Hell: A bunch of dogs in hell, some walking around carrying pooper scoopers and the rest dressed as mailmen and delivering the mail.

An ant on sentry duty at the top of the anthill spots an anteater approaching. "Alert! Alert! It's the Sucking Death!"

Superman flying helplessly in circles around a lighthouse, like a moth.

A man about to enter an outhouse, outside of which a boy with a sousaphone is about to commence practicing.

A scientist peering into a microscope. A tiny speech ballon comes from the slide, crying out, "The eye! The eye!"

A waitress in a trashed up bar giving a statement to a police detective: "Well, first this funny looking little sailor pulls out a can of spinach. Then this crazy music starts playing and...well, just look at this place!"

Popeye is on the witness stand in court. The prosecutor says to him, "Do you deny this is your pipe, which was found at the murder scene? What kind of monster are you?" Popeye exclaims, "I yam what I yam!"

Why yes, I miss the Far Side. Can you tell?

[Valgard]

One of my favorites doesn't even need a description of the artwork. The caption is:

"Moses parting his hair"

[John DiFool]

Originally Posted by postcards

In a cave, with fire all around, Satan sits by a record player, whistling, with New Age Music albums scattered about. A glass window in the wall reveals another room, with speakers obviously blaring the music, and a black man pressed up against the glass, in much distress.

'Charlie Parker's private Hell'

He riffed on Hell & music quite a bit, didn't he?

"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp."

"Welcome to hell, here's your accordion."

* * * * *

"Oh, we have a special room right here for you, maestro."

[room is full of rank musical amateurs with inapt instruments.]

[John DiFool]

Originally Posted by cochrane

An ant on sentry duty at the top of the anthill spots an anteater approaching. "Alert! Alert! It's the Sucking Death!"

The Night of the Robin. [Earthworm horror movie with a huge robin beak penetrating an earthworm tunnel]