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  #1  
Old 04-03-2010, 01:29 PM
panaccione panaccione is offline
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Women; what do you think when a guy says you're pretty?

Or beautiful, gorgeous, or any of the above. Personally, I feel true beauty is on the inside but it seems that this compliment can go very far with you ladies. If I simply say "you look amazing in that dress" your eyes will light up and you'll shine the biggest smile and be nice to me the rest of the night. Now, I try to only give this compliment when I mean it cause otherwise it's just a line and it seems most of you can usually tell. Just curious, what exactly goes through your head when a guy says your pretty. Is it the best a guy can do or is there something better I should be paying more attention too.
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  #2  
Old 04-03-2010, 01:32 PM
Sleeps With Butterflies Sleeps With Butterflies is offline
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Originally Posted by Scotty Mo View Post
Is it the best a guy can do or is there something better I should be paying more attention too.
Maybe pay more attention to being sincere and not having an ulterior motive?
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  #3  
Old 04-03-2010, 01:37 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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Occasionally I will come across guys through online dating who obviously just use it as a line, to seemingly anybody and everybody. It does get annoying, especially if they're a one-trick pony. What, is there nothing about me as a person, my personality, my words, that you can comment on- is what I usually end up thinking. IMO, my looks are about .5% of my worth as a woman and an individual, and that's not what I want people to focus on- please focus on me as a person.
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  #4  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:04 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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If a guy says to me "You're pretty" I am going to be suspicious, because I don't think I am. I would be wondering why he is trying to flatter me, "what does he want from me?".

ETA: If he used the word "gorgeous" I would be fairly certain that he was either blind or insane.

Last edited by NinetyWt; 04-03-2010 at 02:05 PM..
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  #5  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:06 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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I s'pose context is important in this. Like I said, if I'm hearing it from someone that I just met or haven't even met yet ala online dating, I'm going to be suspicious. If I hear it from a boyfriend of 2 years, after I've spent 4 hours getting all glammed up to go somewhere special, then it would have some meaning to it.
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  #6  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:12 PM
torie torie is offline
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I like to be beautiful. So if you're sincere, and not too overbearing or creepy, it will make me glow all night long.

Of course, I like to be funny, smart, and charming too. So any of those will work just as well.
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  #7  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:13 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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If you say it once, it's sincere. If you preface every comment with "Hey, beautiful" or end every comment with "you gorgeous thing", not so much.
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  #8  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:32 PM
DianaG DianaG is offline
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Originally Posted by Alice The Goon View Post
I s'pose context is important in this. Like I said, if I'm hearing it from someone that I just met or haven't even met yet ala online dating, I'm going to be suspicious. If I hear it from a boyfriend of 2 years, after I've spent 4 hours getting all glammed up to go somewhere special, then it would have some meaning to it.
Exactly. When someone I just met says it, it means they have eyes. It may or may not mean they're hitting on me, it's not like it's hard to tell. Either way, it doesn't upset me, it's not like they know yet that I'm also brilliant, funny, charming, and modest, so what else are they supposed to comment on?

When my boyfriend or a friend or anyone else I know well says it, it means either I've outdone myself, or they're just noticing it more at the moment due to some mood of their own. Either way, it's nicer than when people I just met say it.
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  #9  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:57 PM
missred missred is offline
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A lot of it depends upon the context.

A "My god, you're f***ing gorgeous!" from an SO when you just step out from getting all dressed up for something special would tell me that my efforts had drawn his attention moreso than usual.

The "Hello Beautiful" that prefaced every phone conversation from a guy that I used to date was almost creepy. Just the way he said it.

The "You're so pretty" constantly coming from a guy on our first (and only!) date smacked of desperation.

The occasional sincere "You're beautiful" coming from a man right before he kisses me can rock my world.

Every woman's MMV.
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  #10  
Old 04-03-2010, 03:01 PM
Rigamarole Rigamarole is offline
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Originally Posted by Sleeps With Butterflies View Post
Maybe pay more attention to being sincere and not having an ulterior motive?
Ah, but don't we all have ulterior motives? What you're saying is - disguise it better?
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  #11  
Old 04-03-2010, 03:03 PM
MeanOldLady MeanOldLady is offline
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I don't think anything of it at all from people I don't know. Like others, if it's someone who knows me who I believe is sincere when saying it, and isn't a creepo and/or says it every five minutes to everyone, it's sweet.
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  #12  
Old 04-03-2010, 03:05 PM
DivineComedienne DivineComedienne is offline
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It makes me uncomfortable because I don't believe it myself, so I assume they are lying to me. I mean, I've been told I'm attractive (not beautiful, but attractive), in good shape compared to most women my age, and I do the best I can with what I've got; but I have eyes myself, and I know what I look like, and beautiful it ain't.

However, if someone randomly says, "You look nice today" or something that seems like a sincere compliment, I graciously thank them and accept it. If my SO says, "you look great", I believe that too. If it fits the context of the situation, that's fine. But "Wow, you're beautiful" just reeks of BS (unless you're Halle Berry).
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  #13  
Old 04-03-2010, 03:06 PM
running coach running coach is offline
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Originally Posted by Rigamarole View Post
Ah, but don't we all have ulterior motives? What you're saying is - disguise it better?
Sincerity counts for a lot even if you have to fake it.
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  #14  
Old 04-03-2010, 05:24 PM
MaddyStrut MaddyStrut is offline
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I can think of a few crazy, creepy exceptions, but--for the most part--I like it.
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  #15  
Old 04-03-2010, 05:33 PM
BigT BigT is online now
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Guy here: I tend to find complimenting on something specific to be more effective. Flat out telling someone they look beautiful always seems to be interpreted as a come on from me, unless the person actually knows me.

Thus, I am surprised that some of you don't automatically think that with that phrasing.
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  #16  
Old 04-03-2010, 05:42 PM
Dallas Jones Dallas Jones is offline
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Originally Posted by Alice The Goon View Post
If you say it once, it's sincere. If you preface every comment with "Hey, beautiful" or end every comment with "you gorgeous thing", not so much.
But "Good Morning, Beautiful' cannot be discounted as the preferable way to wake up your wife in the morning.
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  #17  
Old 04-03-2010, 05:44 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Originally Posted by ghardester View Post
But "Good Morning, Beautiful' cannot be discounted as the preferable way to wake up your wife in the morning.
I disagree. I don't want anybody saying ANY thing to me until I've had a cup of coffee.
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  #18  
Old 04-03-2010, 07:15 PM
wombatinspats wombatinspats is offline
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True beauty being on the inside is all very well, but there is such a thing as physical beauty, and it can be obvious when someone has gone to more trouble than usual. And it's just a nice thing to say to someone of either sex if they have clearly gone to some trouble.

Your post kind of implies you'd use it as a tactic...like it's this shallow thing you don't buy into but are willing to use for the benefits it brings. Don't let it be so heavy, I say! It is entirely possible for a person with a beautiful heart to appreciate that you noticed they've made an effort. It's not without value just because it's physical.

Also, I can say it's the worst thing ever when, meeting a guy for a date, he uses it as a stock line - sometimes not even bothering to look at me first. :P I've had 'You look wonderful' said to me with his back turned. A real turn-off, because, not only did he not care enough to be genuine, he thought I should be grateful.
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  #19  
Old 04-03-2010, 07:26 PM
appleciders appleciders is offline
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Originally Posted by BigT View Post
Guy here: I tend to find complimenting on something specific to be more effective. Flat out telling someone they look beautiful always seems to be interpreted as a come on from me, unless the person actually knows me.
Yeah, I've had good luck with this. I compliment women on their clothes, their earrings, and their hair all the time- it's less likely to be seen as creepy even if the praise is very enthusiastic. I don't think I ever compliment someone's body who I'm not dating (unless she's fishing for compliments, and that's a whole 'nother thing).
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  #20  
Old 04-03-2010, 08:03 PM
even sven even sven is online now
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It's probably a cultural thing, but right now I'm sick of it (not that I'm particularly beautiful- just a blond in China.) I'd like to be judged on something else, please.
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  #21  
Old 04-03-2010, 08:25 PM
Serenata67 Serenata67 is offline
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Originally Posted by Alice The Goon View Post
I s'pose context is important in this. Like I said, if I'm hearing it from someone that I just met or haven't even met yet ala online dating, I'm going to be suspicious. If I hear it from a boyfriend of 2 years, after I've spent 4 hours getting all glammed up to go somewhere special, then it would have some meaning to it.
This. If my husband said, "I love you, you beautiful woman," I'd smile and glow and all that good stuff. Now if some guy I didn't know in a bar came up to me and said, "You're pretty," I'd be thinking, "Really?"

I always liked the more sincere, detail-oriented compliments. "That's a very unique purse" or "You look very elegant with your hair up" or "That shade of blue brings out your eyes, and once I saw them, I thought I must talk to you" would be better. Yeah, they're lines, but they're real observations. Something specific about me. Not just anything like, "You got a purty mouth."
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  #22  
Old 04-03-2010, 08:38 PM
carnut carnut is offline
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I think I can tell by how it is said whether or not it is a come-on.

Years (and pounds) ago, I used to be a runway model. Guys were tripping over themselves to go out with a model and it got tiresome - I could never tell if the guy was actually interested in me or in being able to say "I've got a date with a model." If "you're beautiful" was their litany, I dropped 'em like a hot potato.

I quit modeling, gained some weight, and all those guys disappeared. Suddenly, the only ones that were hitting on me, were obviously interested in ME. They rarely said "you're beautiful" but the "you're smart" "you're sweet" and "you've got cute toes" let me know they were seeing me, not my job.

I'm now gray and fat and I look across the table at the very homely man of mine and I think "Gee, he's beautiful" because he is beautiful - on the inside.
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  #23  
Old 04-03-2010, 09:36 PM
salinqmind salinqmind is offline
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I say, "yeah? thanks." What am I supposed to do? Be gobsmacked by enlightenment? Be grateful some man noticed? You say "you're pretty" to me, and I think - SO? Thanks for your keen observation, and thanks for sharing that startling information, bub. Basically, doesn't mean much coming from some random guy. Different thing coming from an SO, where it's meaningful. It would be rather sickening to be told "you're pretty, you're pretty" all the time, by anyone. it would make me irritated and think that they were, uh, differently abled. As a pickup line, it's worthless. As a real expression from someone I was involved with, it would be nice.

Carnut, what you said. I liked your post! It is the real thing.

Last edited by salinqmind; 04-03-2010 at 09:38 PM..
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  #24  
Old 04-03-2010, 10:56 PM
zweisamkeit zweisamkeit is offline
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Originally Posted by BigT View Post
Guy here: I tend to find complimenting on something specific to be more effective. Flat out telling someone they look beautiful always seems to be interpreted as a come on from me, unless the person actually knows me.

Thus, I am surprised that some of you don't automatically think that with that phrasing.
This is what I was going to say. In general, comments about something I'm wearing will go over better than "you're pretty". But even compliments about things I can't control will sound nicer if they're specific.

When the Starbucks drive through guy handed me my drink and said, "You have the most beautiful eyes!" with the constant eye contact and smile? Heck yes I know that was a blatant flirt attempt but it was wayyyyy nicer than just, "hey, you're really gorgeous!" or something like that.
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  #25  
Old 04-03-2010, 11:15 PM
Perciful Perciful is offline
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I just say, Thank You. It's a compliment and it's a nice thing to hear. I don't think anything about it really. It sure beats, you look awful
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  #26  
Old 04-03-2010, 11:36 PM
PandaBear77 PandaBear77 is offline
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I'm flattered and it pretty much makes my day.
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  #27  
Old 04-04-2010, 12:21 AM
Hilarity N. Suze Hilarity N. Suze is offline
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I eat it up--but I almost always think it's a line.

I thought so even when I picked my son up at day care when he was maybe 7, and a little girl near him told him, "Your mom is pretty!"

I figured this meant she liked him and wanted to say something flattering.

He was clueless.
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  #28  
Old 04-04-2010, 03:22 AM
amarinth amarinth is offline
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I assume he works on tips or commission. Or he's really drunk.

When I hear "really pretty" it means he's really drunk and it's close to closing time.

Last edited by amarinth; 04-04-2010 at 03:23 AM..
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  #29  
Old 04-04-2010, 04:04 AM
Muffin Muffin is offline
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Originally Posted by NinetyWt View Post
I disagree. I don't want anybody saying ANY thing to me until I've had a cup of coffee.
Best get a night-cam to see if he is saying something to you before you wake up.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER, from the musical "I Do! I Do!" (1966):
Quote:
SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING WHEN SHADOWS ARE DEEP,
I LIE HERE BESIDE YOU, JUST WATCHING YOU SLEEP,
AND SOMETIMES I WHISPER WHAT I'M THINKING OF,
MY CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH LOVE.
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  #30  
Old 04-04-2010, 04:22 AM
HazelNutCoffee HazelNutCoffee is offline
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From my boyfriend: flattering

From a guy friend: also flattering

From a random guy: could be flattering, depending on his attitude

From a child: ultimate compliment!
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  #31  
Old 04-04-2010, 06:01 AM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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Originally Posted by PandaBear77 View Post
I'm flattered and it pretty much makes my day.
Hey, you're pretty.

Glad I could be of assistance.
__________________
"You're a veritable wise man when it comes to human relations, AClockworkMelon." Freudian Slit

Last edited by AClockworkMelon; 04-04-2010 at 06:01 AM..
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  #32  
Old 04-04-2010, 06:06 AM
Jennyrosity Jennyrosity is offline
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Originally Posted by salinqmind View Post
I say, "yeah? thanks." What am I supposed to do? Be gobsmacked by enlightenment? Be grateful some man noticed? You say "you're pretty" to me, and I think - SO? Thanks for your keen observation, and thanks for sharing that startling information, bub. Basically, doesn't mean much coming from some random guy. Different thing coming from an SO, where it's meaningful. It would be rather sickening to be told "you're pretty, you're pretty" all the time, by anyone. it would make me irritated and think that they were, uh, differently abled. As a pickup line, it's worthless. As a real expression from someone I was involved with, it would be nice.
Pretty much this. I hear it a lot (I'm not beautiful, but I do have the easy-on-the-eye prettiness that people seem to like), and my reaction is almost always "um, thanks." The thing this, I've been genetically lucky when it comes to my looks - my whole family is good-looking - so it's not something I feel I can take any credit for. It's like getting complimented on being tall or having blue eyes - something I've had nothing to do with.

I'd much rather be complimented on my personality, or my career achievements, which I've actually had to work on, but I guess in the context of the OP that kind of thing is not so relevant!
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  #33  
Old 04-04-2010, 08:41 AM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Originally Posted by Muffin View Post
Best get a night-cam to see if he is saying something to you before you wake up.
Well he does talk in his sleep quite a bit, so maybe he is. The other night we had a hilarious (in retrospect) fight over my pillow. He had grabbed it in his sleep and pulled it out from under my head. I had a devil of a time gettting it back.

ETA: I remember singing that song ... I used to know all the lyrics to it.

Last edited by NinetyWt; 04-04-2010 at 08:42 AM..
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  #34  
Old 04-04-2010, 10:48 AM
Silvorange Silvorange is offline
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I enjoy compliments on my appearance from people I know. If a strange man comes up and tells me I'm beautiful, he is usually about to ask me for money.

I can do without any compliments from the OP. People who talk about "true beauty" being on the inside and can't appreciate physical beauty always seem smug to me.
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  #35  
Old 04-04-2010, 11:00 AM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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Originally Posted by Silvorange View Post
People who talk about "true beauty" being on the inside and can't appreciate physical beauty always seem smug to me.
Agreed. I also tend to get annoyed by people who refer to me as shallow because I have physical standards. I mean, they wouldn't have sex with someone that they weren't attracted to, yet because I'm not attracted to women that they are, I must be shallow.
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  #36  
Old 04-04-2010, 11:10 AM
nashiitashii nashiitashii is offline
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Compliments are nice when they're specific, but it's also a contextual thing too-- are you paying attention to my face, looking elsewhere; do you have a facial expression that expresses interest and confidence, or the sad look of a desperate man trying to please someone he doesn't think he has a chance of getting? There's a lot to it, and just being up front and honest about interest is a good start; be friendly and casual and follow her lead a little. I like the attention, but since I'm not single, it being a meaningful "I want something more than to get in your pants" compliment or an "I'm just being friendly" compliment doesn't make a big difference to me than the "I am only trying to get in your pants" compliment. When I was single, however, I felt flattered by most of them but generally looked for red flags in behavior for all three just in case there was something hinting just under the surface that I didn't want to get to know the person better-- after all, stalkers, abusers and serial killers can all seem nice at first.
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  #37  
Old 04-04-2010, 11:25 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
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Originally Posted by Jennyrosity View Post
I'd much rather be complimented on my personality, or my career achievements, which I've actually had to work on, but I guess in the context of the OP that kind of thing is not so relevant!
You have taken your chosen field by storm, and your presence lights up a room.
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  #38  
Old 04-04-2010, 11:56 AM
MeanOldLady MeanOldLady is offline
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Originally Posted by HazelNutCoffee View Post
From a child: ultimate compliment!
Ah yes, children. I forgot about them. A thousand years ago, I was at the home of one of my then-boyfriend's family members, and a little boy kept staring at me, then eventually said "You're pretty!" then buried his hands in his face, and started giggling uncontrollably. He was maybe three years old? It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I almost died.
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  #39  
Old 04-04-2010, 12:27 PM
Maggie the Ocelot Maggie the Ocelot is offline
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Due to some nasty crap my peers pulled in my early adolescence, my first reaction is suspicion. What do they want? I immediately look for their bunch of friends who are giggling and making bets about whether he'll actually go through with asking out the ugly geeky girl.

Then I remember that we're not in junior high anymore, but I'm still wary. I have never, EVER accepted a drink from a man I don't know, nor given him my phone number. Being happily married now, I don't intend to start.

That said, the same words coming from a friend or my husband make me all happy and glow-y. But I have to trust you *first* before you get to say shit like that to me.

(I realize that this makes it sound like I had zero social/sex life back when I was single. I assure you the opposite is true! But I had to be the one to make the first move, and/or they had to be a friend already before that.)

Last edited by Maggie the Ocelot; 04-04-2010 at 12:27 PM..
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  #40  
Old 04-04-2010, 12:29 PM
Rushgeekgirl Rushgeekgirl is offline
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I'd be as tickled as if a girl told me I was pretty. It might even make my day.

However, I'd know it was a lie and I'd be suspicious because I'm not pretty. Still....awww...Someone thinks I'm pretty! At my age too! weeee!!!!!!
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  #41  
Old 04-04-2010, 12:33 PM
KarlGrenze KarlGrenze is online now
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I've learned to accept compliments. I went too long without them, and they feel good, dammit!

And I say "Thank you.". Really, those words are just a compliment, they're not an entitlement for a blowjob. If he wants more he'd better do something more, and for my part, there's nothing wrong with accepting what he said as truth, at least for him (even though I may disagree).
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  #42  
Old 04-04-2010, 01:32 PM
Jennyrosity Jennyrosity is offline
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Originally Posted by Robot Arm View Post
You have taken your chosen field by storm, and your presence lights up a room.
Aww, thank you very much!
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  #43  
Old 04-04-2010, 01:33 PM
PandaBear77 PandaBear77 is offline
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Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon View Post
Hey, you're pretty.

Glad I could be of assistance.
*kicks the dirt*

Aww, shucks
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  #44  
Old 04-04-2010, 04:01 PM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
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Aww, thank you very much!
You're welcome.



I could probably come up with something even better if we'd ever actually met.
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  #45  
Old 04-04-2010, 04:03 PM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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I was going to make this post a message to every girl who posted in this thread saying "Hey, you're pretty." Then I realized how many people had posted in this thread and I decided it was too much work for a joke.

Consider this a "Hey, you're pretty" to everyone.
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  #46  
Old 04-04-2010, 04:21 PM
TheFaerie TheFaerie is offline
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I think "Aww, s/he thinks I'm pretty," and out loud I say "That's sweet of you. Thank you." I don't worry myself about ulterior motives.
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  #47  
Old 04-04-2010, 09:26 PM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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Laugh my ass off?

Okay seriously......way back when I actually was pretty it would have depended. Was the guy being serious, or was it merely a "shotgun" approach he was using on the entire group of women anywhere near him, in a lame attempt to get laid?

If the guy is sincere, thanks and appreciation are definitely in order. If you're sincere don't worry about how your motives will be taken. Most of us will appreciate it.
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  #48  
Old 04-04-2010, 09:55 PM
Spice Weasel Spice Weasel is offline
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Depends on who's saying it.

If it's my husband, it melts me. If it's some random person I don't know, I am suspicious. If it's someone of the opposite sex that I'm friends with, I'm deeply flattered.

Now, I guess I should add that I do have some self-image issues. I don't find it impossible to believe that someone might find me kind of cute, but it's not really something I expect either. I tend to be more on the insecure side when it comes to my looks.

It's funny, I work at a nursing home and my favorite alzheimer's ladies have a tendency to exclaim, ''She's so gorgeous, isn't she?'' Totally flattered, but also totally keeping in mind that their vision is kinda shaky!
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  #49  
Old 04-05-2010, 03:20 AM
lshaw lshaw is offline
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Originally Posted by MeanOldLady View Post
Ah yes, children. I forgot about them. A thousand years ago, I was at the home of one of my then-boyfriend's family members, and a little boy kept staring at me, then eventually said "You're pretty!" then buried his hands in his face, and started giggling uncontrollably. He was maybe three years old? It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I almost died.
Something similar to this happened to me too! I was waiting outside of a restaurant, and a little boy (maybe 5 years old) and his mother were sitting close by. The boy kept stealing glances at me every now and then. Finally, he burst out "You are really pretty!" and hid behind his mom. It was so cute. I am definitely flattered when a little kid says I'm pretty.
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  #50  
Old 04-05-2010, 06:20 AM
Muffin Muffin is offline
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Note to guys: return the baby and stroller, and borrow a 5 year old boy.
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