I’ve decided its my goal in life to date every single rock cliche ever, but I need a better list. Here’s what I have so far:
Some help to complete this list, and my purpose in life?
how about man-slut, newly converted christian, and angry female folk artist?
‘Big following in Japan’ technical maestro whose 41 albums have mysteriously escaped your, and everyone’s, attention
Four ex-models going the ‘Led Zeppelin with breasts’ route to rock footnote obscurity
Grown-up ex-boy band puppet targetting AOR acclaim and missing by an area the size of Kansas
Rebellious brat (act) family man (reality)
GothRock God having a 7 yr. old’s skill with make-up
Recovering alco / junkie / whatever into ‘Just say no’ campaigns now his music is flat, stale and very bad
Former just-the-bassist keen to prove he is lead singer material, despite lack of corroborative evidence
Ex-stadium headliner, now can’t get arrested, playing folk clubs for beer money and proclaiming ‘Actually, it’s more “real” and I prefer it’.
One-hit-27-years-ago wonder, fat, playing ‘frilly shirt’ cabaret slots for food
Not exactly a rapper, not exactly a DJ, doesn’t exactly write songs or play anything, rich and successful as fuck and arrogant with it
Studio-bound ‘multi-instrumentalist’ irretrievably lost in overdub hell, averaging 17 months per completed track
Fomer just-the-producer, keen to prove he can fart better music than any of the acts he’s ever had the agony of working with
Former secretary to studio exec now headline act thanks to ‘fluke’ participation in recording sesh
Once child prodigy, now 43 and desperately trying to be 12 again
The “related to famous and talented performer but unfortunately the genes didn’t carry over” (Bonham, Lennon, Wilson, Philips, etc.)
The “clone band performer who can play his idol’s music note for note, but can’t come up with something original to save his life.” (Bonham again, and others too obscure to remember)
–sublight.