The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-06-2010, 11:55 AM
MissTake MissTake is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Here
Posts: 3,730
Bedframe or floor?

TheKid and I are having a disagreement. Her bedframe (like this) broke, thanks to her trying to pile all of her friends on it. Well, it was fine until her 6'2", 250lb buddy jumped on the pile of people.

I am of the opinion that a new bedframe, or at least a pedestal, should be purchased. She thinks I'm lame, and nothing is wrong with just putting her box spring and mattress on the floor, like most of her friends do.

I find that, well, gross. I could see that in college, but just no. Blankets lay on the floor to be trod on, the floor would be scratched due to the nails/staples under the box spring, and it just seems flophouse tacky.

Am I being old fashioned? Or too picky?
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:02 PM
drillrod drillrod is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Meh. If she wants to have here bed on the floor and not on a frame, I don't see the big deal. As a teenager, I broke my frame by rough-housing with my brother and went a while with the mattress on the floor. I also had friends who did the same.

If it were me, I'd skip the box spring, since as you say, the floor could possibly get damaged.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:04 PM
overlyverbose overlyverbose is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
If she broke the bedframe because she piled that many friends on top of it, I'd put the mattress on the floor to prevent a repeat. Even if you think it's kind of gross, it would suck to have to shell out money to replace it, only to have it happen again.

For what it's worth, our son's box spring and mattress are directly on the floor (we have carpet), but mostly because he's four and we wanted him close to the floor until we were sure he wouldn't fall out. We'll probably get him a bedframe and headboard soon, but if he breaks either, he probably won't get another until we're reasonably sure it won't happen again.

Last edited by overlyverbose; 05-06-2010 at 12:05 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:06 PM
SmellMyWort SmellMyWort is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
I don't think it's a big deal. Just put a rug or something underneath it to save the floor. I'm guessing she's a teen, and this seems like an easy battle to let her win so she can feel like she's exerting some teenage rebellion.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:08 PM
Gagundathar Gagundathar is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
I used a futon for many years until my girlfriend at the time pointed out the usefulness of a bed frame in conjunction with silk scarves.

Therefore, I suggest that having the box springs and mattress on the floor may actually be a better thing assuming that you don't approve of those kind of things.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:09 PM
Teacake Teacake is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: London
Posts: 1,260
Beware of moisture under the mattress if she decides to skip everything and just put the mattress straight onto the floor. If she did this, she would need to lift the mattress and leave it propped up to dry right the way through if she wants to avoid grossness, mould or mildew underneath. This build-up may also damage the finish of the floor. It may sound nasty, or unlikely to her, but if the mattress doesn't have air circulating round it, it's just a big sponge for all the sweat she loses in the night. Bed frames serve a useful purpose!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:20 PM
filling_pages filling_pages is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
I'm 33 and I have never had a bed frame in my life. At this point, it would just feel weird. I am fairly short, and I like being able to sit on the edge of my bed and be close to the ground (I do have a box spring under there). Also, I never have to clean under my bed, so that's a perk. My sheets don't get walked on, because I tuck the edges under when I make my bed.

And I've never had a problem with mildew on my mattress, for what it is worth.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:23 PM
AuntiePam AuntiePam is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
I thought the purpose of raising a mattress off the floor was to make the trek to your face more difficult for spiders.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:42 PM
sugar and spice sugar and spice is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
I think the floors are a legit concern, but you can just put something under the corners. And really, I'd be more worried about teenagers romping around her room then I would be about a box spring. As for the sheets and blankets, you can replace hers with old ones you don't like. Or send her out to buy her own.

It's your house, of course, but if I were without a bed frame in my room then I wouldn't worry about it.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:50 PM
Kimmy_Gibbler Kimmy_Gibbler is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by overlyverbose View Post
If she broke the bedframe because she piled that many friends on top of it, I'd put the mattress on the floor to prevent a repeat. Even if you think it's kind of gross, it would suck to have to shell out money to replace it, only to have it happen again.
That's why I propose making "TheKid" pay the $65-$90 to replace the frame she broke by piling all her friends on the bed until it gave way. Mom and Dad get to define the outer boundary between permissible and flophouse tacky, even if their children might legitimately draw it elsewhere. Moreover, as a prelude to adulthood, teenaged children also get to bear a little bit of the cost of repairing damage they've recklessly visited on the furniture.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:55 PM
overlyverbose overlyverbose is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmy_Gibbler View Post
That's why I propose making "TheKid" pay the $65-$90 to replace the frame she broke by piling all her friends on the bed until it gave way. Mom and Dad get to define the outer boundary between permissible and flophouse tacky, even if their children might legitimately draw it elsewhere. Moreover, as a prelude to adulthood, teenaged children also get to bear a little bit of the cost of repairing damage they've recklessly visited on the furniture.
That makes a lot of sense. In that case, I'd say it's up to you. Your house, your rules.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-06-2010, 01:54 PM
Gorsnak Gorsnak is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Saskaboom
Posts: 7,997
Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntiePam View Post
I thought the purpose of raising a mattress off the floor was to make the trek to your face more difficult for spiders.
Oh, they don't climb up the bed and onto your face. They climb up the wall and across the ceiling and, carefully aligning themselves, rappel down their little thread to alight gently on your nose. But it's nothing to worry about, really. Most of them aren't poisonous.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:05 PM
Jonathan Chance Jonathan Chance is offline
Domo Arigato Mister Moderato
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: On the run with Kilroy
Posts: 16,400
Chalk me up as another guy who did it that way all through high school and in my first apartment. Never saw any big deal about it.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:13 PM
Bosstone Bosstone is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by filling_pages View Post
I'm 33 and I have never had a bed frame in my life. At this point, it would just feel weird. I am fairly short, and I like being able to sit on the edge of my bed and be close to the ground (I do have a box spring under there). Also, I never have to clean under my bed, so that's a perk. My sheets don't get walked on, because I tuck the edges under when I make my bed.
Bit of a hijack, but may I introduce you to my favorite bedframe in the world?

Rugged as hell, too. I've abused the hell out of it over the last 6 years and it's not once come close to breaking.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:20 PM
Philster Philster is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
You're asking the misfits here on the SDMB if having a box spring and mattress on the floor is okay?

Why don't you ask them if wasting hours on RPGs is okay? Or... Ask them if socialized medicine is okay. Ask them if hybrid cars are okay. Ask them if living with mom until you are 35 is okay. Ask them if being a 45-year old virgin is okay.

Actually, if the members here say it is okay, then you have your answer: Get the proper frame and set the expectations accordingly with your daughter. Make her pay for it or work for it, and let her know that you keep your bedding on a proper frame and you don't piss your life away discussing Lord of the Rings and other crap.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:23 PM
Bosstone Bosstone is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Something you want to talk about, Phil?
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:40 PM
Stormcrow Stormcrow is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
You could put a carpet pad under it to reduce damage to the floor. Otherwise, I'd let her set it up the way she wants to. It's not a big enough deal one way or the other in my eyes.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:44 PM
Jophiel Jophiel is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
What is she, a hobo? Get her a metal bed frame and if/when she breaks it, take it out of her savings. She can live on the floor after she moves out.


[Crabby old man off]
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:54 PM
malkavia malkavia is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Another vote for let her keep the mattress and box frame on the floor. If you're concerned about the floor, put a rug down first. Jeez. This really seems like an easy way to give her a little control over her environment and save you some money.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 05-06-2010, 04:01 PM
appleciders appleciders is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Chance View Post
Chalk me up as another guy who did it that way all through high school and in my first apartment. Never saw any big deal about it.
Hell, my cousin just took his bed out of the room entirely and slept on the floor for six years. My uncle figured it wasn't worth arguing.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 05-06-2010, 04:26 PM
Flutterby Flutterby is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Penumbra
Posts: 6,517
My box spring and mattress sit on the floor, I have yet to trod on blankets (why would that happen? Unless the mattress is directly on the floor or you use bedding a lot bigger than the bed this wouldn't happen) or scratch the floor in the 10 odd years I've done so. For me it wasn't so much about breaking the bed frame, but breaking my toes. Harder to catch toes on the rounded corners of the mattress/box spring than on any frame I've found.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 05-06-2010, 04:42 PM
delphica delphica is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Yeah, it's a little flophouse tacky. I think it comes down to how much value you place on having your entire home reflect your (good) taste, or if you are cool with having your daughter's room be more indicative of her (teen) standards.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 05-06-2010, 04:53 PM
Belrix Belrix is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
My son was hiding crap under his bed, old food and worse.

We dropped the bed to the floor to remove the hiding place.

No biggie to me, I guess. You can put a bed skirt in between the mattresses to cover the box spring, the sheets & comforter don't touch the floor.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 05-06-2010, 05:20 PM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
I have also always thought that just having a matress and box spring on the floor was tres tacky. Also, perhaps your daughter should learn that breaking things have consequences.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 05-06-2010, 05:55 PM
Perciful Perciful is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
It's your house. I'm with you that it should be on something. There are some low profile beds like Bosstone has. The floor is just icky... It is also hard to make a bed that low, not that teens care! That 250 pound kid should pay for the frame he broke. I'm trying to picture how many times a 250 pound kid would have to jump on a bed to break it? one , two , three, crash!
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 05-06-2010, 06:26 PM
Sleeps With Butterflies Sleeps With Butterflies is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Personally I think it's gross to have it on the floor, but that's me.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 05-06-2010, 06:59 PM
Rushgeekgirl Rushgeekgirl is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
I really don't see what the big deal is. I lived without a bed for years. Just mattress and box springs. Never realized it was "flophouse tacky" but then again my living room is my bedroom so maybe I'm just not the best judge of what's tacky!
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 05-06-2010, 07:04 PM
Kimmy_Gibbler Kimmy_Gibbler is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rushgeekgirl View Post
I really don't see what the big deal is. I lived without a bed for years. Just mattress and box springs. Never realized it was "flophouse tacky" but then again my living room is my bedroom so maybe I'm just not the best judge of what's tacky!
The question isn't so much "Would the Arbiter of All Good Taste rule that a bed on the floor is flophouse tacky?" It is instead "If Mother and Dad think it is flophouse tacky and want all beds in the house to be on a frame, does Daughter get to overrule that decision?"
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 05-06-2010, 07:55 PM
MissTake MissTake is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Here
Posts: 3,730
My house is no where near model home perfect, never has, never will be. The only people I have ever known to just have their mattress and box spring on the floor were people I knew in college who lived on ramen, coffee, pot and cigarettes and never heard of picking up after themselves. And there is a bit of truth that it's a control thing. It is my house, my rules. In my opinion, mattresses and box springs on the floor is just gross. But she should have some freedom in her room.

By the time her buddy jumped on the bed, there were already 7 teens (100 - 200lbs each)piled on it. It was his fault in particular, he was the big ol' straw that broke the camels back.

Thanks for the Ikea link, Bosstone. That might be an idea.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 05-06-2010, 10:03 PM
Green Bean Green Bean is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Having it on the floor is gross? How dirty are your floors?

But really, I just wanted to thank the OP for exposing me to the wonderful expression of "flophouse tacky."
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 05-07-2010, 12:11 AM
Ostrya Ostrya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
I had always thought the framework served to provide extra give and support of the mattress, would help augment the cushioning mechanism, extending its life. It would also allow air circulation under the mattress like Teacake mentioned.
I googled for cites to back this up - what I thought was sensible thinking - could find none.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 05-07-2010, 07:26 AM
firstname firstname is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Explain that this is her one and only chance to obtain a new bedframe from you. She doesn't have to accept but if she declines now and in the future wants a bedframe she will be responsible for purchasing it herself.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 05-07-2010, 07:41 AM
Khadaji Khadaji is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Southern Pennsylvania
Posts: 21,601
IMO, give her control of her room. By all means protect the floor, but allow her some choices in her life.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 05-07-2010, 07:48 AM
Harmonious Discord Harmonious Discord is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Go with your gut feeling on this. You want a bed frame so get one. She can sleep on the floor when she's not in your house. Teens always see what they can get away with.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 05-07-2010, 10:16 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philster View Post
You're asking the misfits here on the SDMB if having a box spring and mattress on the floor is okay?

Why don't you ask them if wasting hours on RPGs is okay? Or... Ask them if socialized medicine is okay. Ask them if hybrid cars are okay. Ask them if living with mom until you are 35 is okay. Ask them if being a 45-year old virgin is okay.

Actually, if the members here say it is okay, then you have your answer: Get the proper frame and set the expectations accordingly with your daughter. Make her pay for it or work for it, and let her know that you keep your bedding on a proper frame and you don't piss your life away discussing Lord of the Rings and other crap.

Don't you have some kids on your lawn you need to go yell at?

OP: I'm sure there are probably basic bedframes you could probably get that mimic setting your mattress/box spring on the floor without it actually BEING on the floor.

Last edited by Guinastasia; 05-07-2010 at 10:17 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 05-08-2010, 06:04 AM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
I'm nice, dammit!
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern Merrylande
Posts: 28,149
We subscribed to the "Pick you Battles" school of parenting. To me, this isn't worth fighting over. And considering the crap my daughter used to cram under her bed, I'd almost advocate for it. I personally don't like beds on the floor, but that's because I don't like to struggle to stand when I roll out of bed.

As far as I'm concerned, No Food in the Bedroom is a Prime Directive. A certain degree of tidiness is also required. Beyond that, who cares? Shut the door. Let the kid think she's got her own little empire. In the grand scheme of things, it's just not worth making a stink about.

Maybe it's because my own mom was so controlling...
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 05-08-2010, 08:01 AM
Rushgeekgirl Rushgeekgirl is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmy_Gibbler View Post
The question isn't so much "Would the Arbiter of All Good Taste rule that a bed on the floor is flophouse tacky?" It is instead "If Mother and Dad think it is flophouse tacky and want all beds in the house to be on a frame, does Daughter get to overrule that decision?"
Again, I'm a bad judge I suppose. My daughter has been allowed to keep her room however she wants since she was a kid. Up until she hit 20 it was even tackier than I could stand but lucky for me she has a door I can close.

Of course now I have a story about my youth. I had the most awful bed, one of those wooden bunkbeds (just the bottom bunk) with the spokes on the footboard like a ship's wheel. The thing squeaked like crazy and for some activities I did NOT want a peep made.

So I purposely broke the bed. Mom was pissed but it was better for me to ask forgiveness than permission. After that I had my twin mattress on the floor.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 05-08-2010, 08:05 AM
Lust4Life Lust4Life is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Its no big deal and it doesn't put you to a lot of trouble, so why not?
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 05-08-2010, 10:23 AM
legalsnugs legalsnugs is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Greenwich, London, UK
Posts: 1,053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmy_Gibbler View Post
The question isn't so much "Would the Arbiter of All Good Taste rule that a bed on the floor is flophouse tacky?" It is instead "If Mother and Dad think it is flophouse tacky and want all beds in the house to be on a frame, does Daughter get to overrule that decision?"
Does she usually get to overrule your parental decisions? If not, what does it matter what the SDMB has to say? If it means that much to you, get a frame. But let her know that if it "accidentally" breaks again, she's paying for it.

And for the record, I had a mattress on my bedroom floor for a year or so when I was 16. Didn't ruin any floors. Then I got a waterbed! Maybe that's where she's going with this.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 05-08-2010, 11:54 AM
Nefarious Chipmunk Nefarious Chipmunk is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 871
For me, I don't think having your box spring on the floor is a big deal. I know plenty of people who have done it with no ill effects. Under normal circumstances, if that is what she wanted, I wouldn't put up a fuss.

BUT

I also believe that actions have consequences, and if she broke the bed frame through unthoughtful behavior, the she should bare the consequence of having to purchase a new bed frame. This sounds and awful lot like rewarding her with what she wants from bad behavior.

FWIW I don't have teenagers and I am not a parent, so what do I know?
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 05-08-2010, 06:44 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Perhaps you could find a bed frame without a headboard or footboard, and then get a long bed skirt and comforter, so it LOOKS like she has no frame? Maybe one with drawers underneath, even?
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 05-08-2010, 07:06 PM
toodlepip toodlepip is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gorsnak View Post
Oh, they don't climb up the bed and onto your face. They climb up the wall and across the ceiling and, carefully aligning themselves, rappel down their little thread to alight gently on your nose. But it's nothing to worry about, really. Most of them aren't poisonous.
Ack!!


Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 05-08-2010, 07:31 PM
jasonh300 jasonh300 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosstone View Post
Bit of a hijack, but may I introduce you to my favorite bedframe in the world?

Rugged as hell, too. I've abused the hell out of it over the last 6 years and it's not once come close to breaking.
I have a Malm that a friend gave to me because he got tired of the bottom suspension falling through and dropping the mattress onto the floor. I brought it home, re-engineered the mount for the center bracket, reinforced all of the connections and haven't had a problem with it since.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 05-09-2010, 08:31 AM
Harmonious Discord Harmonious Discord is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
I vote for only a sleeping bag on the floor if she balks at the frame.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 05-09-2010, 12:24 PM
The Why Bird The Why Bird is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Another vote for letting her have the box spring on the floor.

That said, if you want there to be consequences, you could insist that she buys the rug/whatever floor protector to go underneath it to stop the floor getting scratched. That way she gets her choice but not without a consequence for breaking the frame.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:18 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.