I just deactivated my Facebook account.

Shakes · #1 06-13-2010, 06:32 AM

This morning was the last straw.

I've come to the stunning conclusion that I really don't want to know my friends THAT well.

The final straw was when as friend of mine posted some teabager video about how "Amurika" is a Christian nation and then some other dolt in the video breaks in to the fourth verse of "The Star Spangle Banner." (Link)

Seriously, I liked these people better when I knew LESS about them.

twickster · #2 06-13-2010, 06:44 AM

I just "hide" the morons (I'm lookin' at you, cousin M.) who post right-wing bullshit. Like-minded people, I don't have a problem with -- just signed a petition against lifting a ban on genetically engineered alfalfa linked to by a Doper pal.

Caprese · #3 06-13-2010, 06:49 AM

I "hide" too--and maybe some people "hide" me, though I am not overly political on FB.

A month or so ago, I also spent a good half hour in the privacy section, setting up how much certain relatives and friends are going to see of what I post.

For awhile I had been disenchanted with FB but it's better now. For me personally, it's been much more good than bad.

Having said that, I can understand how some people might just want to bow out of the whole thing.

Napier · #4 06-13-2010, 07:20 AM

I sense something here. Only yesterday afternoon I saw a television advertisement for some online service I'd never heard of that looked like a facebook clone. It was a weird moment because the premise of the advertisement was that their service was the way to share and communicate and broaden your horizons, yet they were obviously spending big money to share and communicate and broaden their own horizons with a television advertisement. A depressing spectacle.

And now this.

Is the banality of facebook staring us in the face?

FriarTed · #5 06-13-2010, 07:46 AM

Facebook is pretty much what people make of it, just like the SDMB. I watched the video in the OP & was kinda meh about it UNTIL the "dolt" started singing. IMHO, that was almost a Paul Potts/Susan Boyle moment.

Btw, I now think the whole National Anthem should be sung, just so I can see the heads asplode during verse Four.

SeaCanary · #6 06-13-2010, 07:59 AM

Learning about "friends" or friends on Facebook can be very hard. I sympathize with the OP.

Right now Caprese speaks for me. And I agree with FriarTed when he says it's "pretty much what people make of it." (May I please borrow that, FriarTed?)

Of course all this ~~could~~ will change.

SeaCanary · #7 06-13-2010, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Napier

Is the banality of facebook staring us in the face?

I think so. To me, that too is useful. Not sure why. Just a gut feeling.

FriarTed · #8 06-13-2010, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeaCanary

Right now Caprese speaks for me. And I agree with FriarTed when he says it's "pretty much what people make of it." (May I please borrow that, FriarTed?)

Of course! Just put 50 cents in my PayPal account for everytime you do!

Boyo Jim · #9 06-13-2010, 08:32 AM

I have these family members appearing out of the woodwork and wanting to be my friend. I know they're real people and real relatives, but they're in another country and I've never met any of them and likely never will.

And it seems so rude to turn down being a friend to a family member, but I don't really want them in my business.

EvilTOJ · #10 06-13-2010, 08:44 AM

No way, I love hearing the paranoid rantings of nutjobs! It keeps me entertained. The glurgy super-religious ones are just annoying, but I don't hide them either.

postcards · #11 06-13-2010, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilTOJ

No way, I love hearing the paranoid rantings of nutjobs! It keeps me entertained. The glurgy super-religious ones are just annoying, but I don't hide them either.

Me, too. There's a guy I know who constantly spouts the right-wing conservative screeds. He was one of those whose friend request I granted because his name was familiar from high school; after reading a few of his posts I looked him up in the yearbook and realized he was a whiney a--hole back then, too.

moejoe · #12 06-13-2010, 09:17 AM

meh. I'm not FB friends with anyone unless I'd be happy to hang out with them in person. I have had long lost high school pals or relatives from afar try to friend me but I just ignore them.

For me it's a great way to keep in touch with people I am close to but who live far away, or just connect with my real life friends in a way that's more fun than email or the phone. I can't even imagine friending someone I didn't already know reeealy well. Why do people do that?

Picard Kills Kirk · #13 06-13-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilTOJ

No way, I love hearing the paranoid rantings of nutjobs! It keeps me entertained. The glurgy super-religious ones are just annoying, but I don't hide them either.

They can be fun to read, but what is really sad is when you just finish reading someone's off the wall claim, and you are "wtf'ing" yourself at how stupid some people are, then see that 49 other people 'like' this post.

Cat Whisperer · #14 06-13-2010, 11:47 AM

I deleted my Facebook account about a month ago, too. I was getting nothing out of it except aggravation (that whole "friending" thing is rife with pitfalls). I do like Twitter, though.

Estilicon · #15 06-13-2010, 11:47 AM

I did the same a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't worth the effort.
What annoyed me is that my account is not closed just suspended.

Wakinyan · #16 06-13-2010, 11:48 AM

I never cared for the news feed (or whatever it's called), but Facebook has helped me get in touch with relatives and others, so I'm "active" in that way. If someone is contacting you, you get a mail, so there's no need to hang there for me. One thing I do like, is that you can use it as a simple "project place" for upcoming parties and such.

Cat Whisperer · #17 06-13-2010, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estilicon

I did the same a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't worth the effort.
What annoyed me is that my account is not closed just suspended.

Yeah, that's right. I think it said it would delete my account if not re-activated in two weeks, but I'm afraid to go back and look because they'll re-activate if I go anywhere near Facebook. That kind of shit just riles me - when I want an account deleted, I want it DELETED.

lavenderviolet · #18 06-13-2010, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moejoe

meh. I'm not FB friends with anyone unless I'd be happy to hang out with them in person. I have had long lost high school pals or relatives from afar try to friend me but I just ignore them.

For me it's a great way to keep in touch with people I am close to but who live far away, or just connect with my real life friends in a way that's more fun than email or the phone. I can't even imagine friending someone I didn't already know reeealy well. Why do people do that?

Half the fun of facebook is finding out how folks you haven't heard from in a long time are doing. It's interesting to see what happened to them.
I friend just about everyone who wants to be friends because I never post anything controversial or overly personal on FB.

Boyo Jim · #19 06-13-2010, 12:14 PM

Does anyone know whether there are Facebook hacks involving spam? My nephew seems to be posting blurbs on family members' walls about some website that sounds like a scam. Basically, "Click a few times and they send you money.". Something called cashreport dot org. I've sent him a message asking whether he is actually sending this stuff, but no response yet.

I'm trying to figure if his friends list has been hacked and someone is posting glurge in his name. I certainly don't like the idea of being scammed by my own nephew, but it's not entirely out of character for him.

grimpixie · #20 06-13-2010, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I'm trying to figure if his friends list has been hacked and someone is posting glurge in his name. I certainly don't like the idea of being scammed by my own nephew, but it's not entirely out of character for him.

The former happened to me a while back - my friends started getting messages from me with just a web link in it, fortunately, the first few were astute enough to alert me and a change of password ended the problem.

Which is not to say that it isn't your nephew...

Grim

moejoe · #21 06-13-2010, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lavenderviolet

Half the fun of facebook is finding out how folks you haven't heard from in a long time are doing. It's interesting to see what happened to them.
I friend just about everyone who wants to be friends because I never post anything controversial or overly personal on FB.

yeah, I get that a lot of people feel that way, I just don't. I guess I'm just not that interested in what's new for people I lost touch with years ago, and I definitely don't need daily (or more) updates on them or pictures of their cats or their deep thoughts on whatever.

The upside is that Facebook rarely aggrivates me

Chimera · #22 06-13-2010, 02:19 PM

I look at mine very briefly about twice a week.

Given that I take the attitide that religion and politics are nothing more than opinions and everyone is entitled to their opinion, it doesn't rile me as much as some.

But for every facebook friend I have who spouts conservative crap, there is me posting liberal stuff on my own page, and for every ultraliberal (more rare), I probably post a bit of hard reality. Like an acquaintance's wife who friended me and posts very conservative and Christian stuff on her page. She posted that she had counted the number of Free Clinics in the metro area and this was proof that we didn't need Universal Healthcare. So on my page, I posted a summation of the effects and rules of the actual health care bill and then asked anyone to show me how this was going to destroy America.

Every now and then I think about closing it out, because it serves no real purpose in my life and provides no tangible value.

Markxxx · #23 06-13-2010, 02:20 PM

Too much of a good thing huh?

Chimera · #24 06-13-2010, 02:22 PM

Oh, one more thing. It WAS massively entertaining to look up some old friends and find that an arrogant know-it-all bitch-cunt that I used to know was now an ardent Tea Party supporter.

BigBertha · #25 06-13-2010, 02:27 PM

The older you get, the more friends you wonder what happened to. I was thrilled to find an old friend from grade school, see how hes doing, and we talk.
The poke thing is really pointless, and I so wonder about those who do the restaurant thing, you own a fake restaurant and have to do all this buying and business stuff but its all pretend. Weirds me out.

hajario · #26 06-13-2010, 02:33 PM

I'm way too private a person to get involved with FB. I did have an account under a fake name just because people sometimes link to pictures on their FB account and I need to log in to see them. I put in a bunch of bullshit information when I set it up and probably only used it once every few weeks.

Lo and behold, the last time I tried to log in, I got a message saying that there was suspicious activity with the account and it was suspended. They said it was probably because I logged in to some fake FB clone or something but I know that's not true. Anyway, to get my account back I was supposed to enter my birthday as a security thing but I have no idea what fake birthday I used for that account so I am shut out forever.

BigT · #27 06-13-2010, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer

Yeah, that's right. I think it said it would delete my account if not re-activated in two weeks, but I'm afraid to go back and look because they'll re-activate if I go anywhere near Facebook. That kind of shit just riles me - when I want an account deleted, I want it DELETED.

My suggestion is to change all your info to fake information (including changing your name), set up a temporary email account (like at hushmail.com), change that to your default and delete all the others. Change your password to random letters, and then deactivate your account. There is no way it can be salvaged from that.

I did that when I created a new account, and deleted my old one. It is completely unfindable, and it will never be activated again.

Attack from the 3rd dimension · #28 06-13-2010, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

I'm way too private a person to get involved with FB. I did have an account under a fake name just because people sometimes link to pictures on their FB account and I need to log in to see them. I put in a bunch of bullshit information when I set it up and probably only used it once every few weeks.

Lo and behold, the last time I tried to log in, I got a message saying that there was suspicious activity with the account and it was suspended. They said it was probably because I logged in to some fake FB clone or something but I know that's not true. Anyway, to get my account back I was supposed to enter my birthday as a security thing but I have no idea what fake birthday I used for that account so I am shut out forever.

Next time use Jan 01 of your real birth year.

Your pal,

Raoul Essex-Lopresti

BigT · #29 06-13-2010, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hajario

I'm way too private a person to get involved with FB. I did have an account under a fake name just because people sometimes link to pictures on their FB account and I need to log in to see them. I put in a bunch of bullshit information when I set it up and probably only used it once every few weeks.

Lo and behold, the last time I tried to log in, I got a message saying that there was suspicious activity with the account and it was suspended. They said it was probably because I logged in to some fake FB clone or something but I know that's not true. Anyway, to get my account back I was supposed to enter my birthday as a security thing but I have no idea what fake birthday I used for that account so I am shut out forever.

You can also report fake profiles, as those are often used for SPAM. I've recently tried removing my sex from my profile, so that maybe I'll stop getting spam from nudie sites, with fake profiles trying to add me. But, while they kept coming, I got a few suspended.

"Not their real name" or "Does not represent a real person" are valid reasons to be reported.

hajario · #30 06-13-2010, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

Next time use Jan 01 of your real birth year.

That's similar to my normal m.o. on all of my various regular accounts! I use the same fake birth date for all online accounts except for things like banking where the real one is required. In this case, I just hit random stuff on the drop down menu.

BigT · #31 06-13-2010, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBertha

The older you get, the more friends you wonder what happened to. I was thrilled to find an old friend from grade school, see how hes doing, and we talk.
The poke thing is really pointless, and I so wonder about those who do the restaurant thing, you own a fake restaurant and have to do all this buying and business stuff but its all pretend. Weirds me out.

Most games are pointless. If they're having fun, why does it matter?

lezlers · #32 06-14-2010, 09:02 AM

I really like facebook, because it makes it easy to keep up with people I don't talk to on a regular basis. I'm not a phone person, and no one writes actual letters anymore, so facebook does serve a real purpose for me.

I don't post anything overly personal on my page, either. Anyone who needs to know personal details about me talks to me offline, and I probably have at least a third of my facebook friends "hidden" due to either excessive status updates, or maddeningly conservative or religious posts.

I don't understand people that feel the need to update their status multiple times in a single day. Seriously, I don't need to know every time you go grocery shopping or take a shit. You are not a celebrity. There are no paparatzzi following you. You're really not as important as you seem to think you are.

Given the above, I think facebook has a lot to do with our increasingly self absorbed society.

Sticks and Scones · #33 06-14-2010, 11:00 AM

I like facebook for the most part and I definitely appreciate the 'hide' feature. I've got a few friends and a few relatives hidden and it makes my world a happier place.

Otherwise, I enjoy staying in touch with old friends and seeing pictures of my little cousins as they grow, etc.

The only really big peeve that I have lately is this one woman that I went to high school with who started selling Mary Kay and is all of a sudden very interested in me and keeps sending me emails about wanting to get together.

The funny thing is that awhile ago, as in maybe a year or so, I had a couple of questions relevant to her actual career and she basically just blew me off. So now, I just keep ignoring her emails and hoping she'll get the hint.

Don't Call Me Shirley · #34 06-15-2010, 09:54 AM

The only thing that keeps me from deleting my facebook profile is Bejeweled. That and not wanting to explain over and over to people why I deleted my facebook profile.

At first I thought it was cool to reconnect with people from high school and college that I didn't keep in touch with. Then I reconnected with them, and all it did was remind me of why I didn't keep in touch with them in the first place.

TruCelt · #35 06-15-2010, 10:30 AM

LOL! I really like it. It's like a sandbox where I can keep all the dysfunction, and sign in only when I feel up to dealing with it.

I've gotten back in touch with folks I really couldn't have found any other way (An old boyfriend from Norway ferinstance) and best of all I've been able to nab a few photographs of myself and friends from way back. Being the second child, I didn't have a lot of photos of my life.

There are people 've had to hide, and especially a few "aps" which drove me crazy. I'm glad they're having fun, but I really don't care about the new cartoon llama. . .

It's nice to know the old folks are still our there, remember me, and are struggling through same as the rest of us.

ETA: I haven't crossed the family line though, thank goodness! Except some cousins in IReland, who I otherwise would completely lose track of.

nicole1912 · #36 06-15-2010, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don't Call Me Shirley

The only thing that keeps me from deleting my facebook profile is Bejeweled. That and not wanting to explain over and over to people why I deleted my facebook profile.

At first I thought it was cool to reconnect with people from high school and college that I didn't keep in touch with. Then I reconnected with them, and all it did was remind me of why I didn't keep in touch with them in the first place.

This is exactly my view on Facebook. Even down to the Bejeweled. A nice idea, in theory, but then I remembered that there was a good reason none of these people had any other way of contacting me...

Rigamarole · #37 06-15-2010, 01:40 PM

Facebook really isn't the problem. People being retarded is the problem.

Jack Batty · #38 06-15-2010, 01:55 PM

I haven't been on Facebook in ages, but I don't see this as that big of a problem.

The friends on my Facebook friends list come in two stripes: Friends and People Who I Knew A Long Time Ago. Some of my friends are right-wing ... but they're not insufferable douche-bags, otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them. I enjoy sparring with them politically as much as I enjoy it here. People Who I Knew A Long Time Ago who post the first instance of "You need to give your heart to Christ" or "Obama wants to kill your grandmother" and away they go. I figure that I've survived for the past 20 years or so without their sparkling wit ... another 20 or 30 won't kill me.

Projammer · #39 06-15-2010, 04:56 PM

The hide button and I have become intimately acquainted. Every app that shows up get's the boot. Farmville, Farmtown, Farmburg, Farmcity, Farmfarts, whatever.

And a couple of 'friends'. I have no patience for extremist crap from either side.

Novelty Bobble · #40 06-15-2010, 09:31 PM

I'm glad that this has passed me by to be honest. As someone else mentioned above, I'm far too much of a private person to ever want strangers knowing anything about me.
It does genuinely intrigue me how this phenomenon has gripped so many people. The concept of applying the term "friend" to someone you only speak to via electronic mediums seems odd to me.
A Friend to me is someone that I can call, after months of no contact, and pick up where we left off. A lot of Facebook seems like an obligation........yech! too much work.
And those people I haven't spoken to since school? There is a reason for that, I don't care!

In the immortal words of Alan Partridge. "I just hate............the general public"

Superhal · #41 06-15-2010, 09:46 PM

I don't have a facebook account, and probably never will, and yet somehow I live on.

Jack Batty · #42 06-16-2010, 07:38 AM

Actually, my biggest bitch about Facebook and/or Tweeter is ... how the hell am I suppose to limit my verbal diarrhea to 140 characters, or whatever it is. I'm still stuck in LJ mode where I could wax lyrical for pages if I felt like it. It always gives me a bigger sense of satisfaction to know that people aren't reading 1000's of my words and not just dozens.

Tastes of Chocolate · #43 06-16-2010, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelty Bobble

It does genuinely intrigue me how this phenomenon has gripped so many people. The concept of applying the term "friend" to someone you only speak to via electronic mediums seems odd to me.
A Friend to me is someone that I can call, after months of no contact, and pick up where we left off. A lot of Facebook seems like an obligation........yech! too much work.
And those people I haven't spoken to since school? There is a reason for that, I don't care!

I started an account 2 weeks ago, just to see what would happen. I linked to 2 people. My SO and a high school friend I stumbled across.

Through my SO, 12 of our mutual friends found me and sent me a friends request. Not a single one of them added a message. None of them have contacted me since then. Some of these peope I haven't talked to in a year or 2. A few have been longer than that.

I've decided that, at least for some people, Facebook friends are something to be collected, but not used. Ha ha, I have more friends than you do!

DMark · #44 06-16-2010, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estilicon

I did the same a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't worth the effort.
What annoyed me is that my account is not closed just suspended.

Same here.
I finally got fed up with the constant requests from people I have not seen or heard from in 30 years - didn't want to be friends with them then, why would I possibly want to know anything about them now? I canceled mine about 3 months ago or so.
Plus, the whole thing seems like a Thanksgiving dinner from hell - students, family, good friends, people I barely know, all jumping in giving me their idiot comments and inane statements "I went grocery shopping today"...thanks for sharing that, yawn. Plus some thought this was a good forum for hawking their scented candles or whatever other crap they were doing on the sideline.
And do I really need to see those photos of little Billy's 2nd birthday party?

So I dropped it.
Several people actually pissed off at me for doing so, but don't care.
Don't miss it.
Bye bye.

I tell people that I actually DO have email, and am happy to write back when they have something to say!

Wheelz · #45 06-16-2010, 03:03 PM

But... without Facebook, how will you know that the guy who sat behind you in the 8th grade went to Culvers for lunch and the chicken strips were really good? This stuff is important, dammit!!!

tumbleddown · #46 06-16-2010, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigT

"Not their real name" or "Does not represent a real person" are valid reasons to be reported.

And yet not one of the "younger" of my family members (high school, young college) is using their real, full name. Unless my cousin really did name her son "Cool Kid" and not Ben, Jr. as we've all been led to believe for 16 years. (Which, knowing her, is entirely possible.)

I don't get Facebook. I don't want a Facebook account and won't get one. My mother has one, and she "friended" the woman I consider to be my former best friend. She gladly informed me that said ex-bestie is all over her wall "liking" teabagger bullshit and now she wants to de-friend my ex-friend but "doesn't want to be rude." I'm thinking that I'm doing the right thing by staying away altogether.

billfish678 · #47 06-16-2010, 04:55 PM

Any of you folks that haven't seen the South Park facebook episode REALLY need to go watch it

FriarTed · #48 06-17-2010, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billfish678

Any of you folks that haven't seen the South Park facebook episode REALLY need to go watch it

Oh God, yes!

sparky! · #49 06-17-2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMark

Same here.
I finally got fed up with the constant requests from people I have not seen or heard from in 30 years - didn't want to be friends with them then, why would I possibly want to know anything about them now? I canceled mine about 3 months ago or so.
Plus, the whole thing seems like a Thanksgiving dinner from hell - students, family, good friends, people I barely know, all jumping in giving me their idiot comments and inane statements "I went grocery shopping today"...thanks for sharing that, yawn. Plus some thought this was a good forum for hawking their scented candles or whatever other crap they were doing on the sideline.
And do I really need to see those photos of little Billy's 2nd birthday party?

So I dropped it.
Several people actually pissed off at me for doing so, but don't care.
Don't miss it.
Bye bye.

I tell people that I actually DO have email, and am happy to write back when they have something to say!

This sums up why I canceled my account.

The phenomenon is pretty interesting, though. It seems only since last Summer/Fall that everyone needed a Facebook account. In a few years it'll be as dead as MySpace and Friendster.