What do you like about the gender you're attracted to?

[MichaelEmouse]

There are quite a few threads lamenting men and women. I'd like to start one where you can share what you like about the gender you're attracted to. What attracts you, what do you appreciate or admire?

I understand it's generalizations but no one is asking you to be scientific or PC. Please state your gender and sexual orientation. If you have experience with both genders, all the better.

If you want to answer in a way that corrupts the intent of this thread e.g.: "I love how women can get away with anything", know that your threadshitting will make you look like a moron.

[Candyman74]

Yikes. I don't actually know - at least not in terms I can quantify. But I know it when I see it.

Historically, whenever I thought (nusing mildy - I didn't put a lot of effort into thinking about it!) I'd identified what traits those may be, I'd find myself attracted to someone who has none of them.

[BigT]

There seems to be this certain warmth that is almost always absent from men. Of course, not all women have it either, but it does seem easier to find.

I also tend to like how women are not generally ashamed of admitting that they feel insecure. It makes them much easier to relate to.

Finally, again in general, I just think female bodies are beautiful.

[AClockworkMelon]

I'm not sure how specific I should be when listing traits I like in women. Are we listing specific traits/behaviors or generalities?

Specific: I like it when a girl will scooch over to quickly latch onto your arm.
General: I like boobs.

[VarlosZ]

There are generalities (stereotypes, really) that I could list, I guess, but they probably wouldn't really apply for 45% of women. Fundamentally, of course, it doesn't work that way. I don't understand what I like in girls or why, and even if I did it wouldn't look like a list of of traits x, y, and z. I just know I want to go to there.

[Nava]

The sexual orientation thing is completely biological, I've been intensely attracted to guys I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole because my brain was running away even faster than my hormones wanted to run in.

[panache45]

Although I'm attracted to men, I only find a minority really attractive. I like skinny guys . . . as low body fat as possible, and not a lot of bulging muscles. Flat chest (ribs showing a little), flat abs and narrow hips. Height is a variable: anything from tall lanky guys to little skinny guys. When I see a woman built like that, she just seems anorexic.

[Not a Platypus]

These are generalizations, obviously, but apply to the men and women I've been attracted to. I'm a bi-sexual female.

Men: They say what they mean. If they say they're fine or they don't care/have an opinion, they mean it and you can take them at their word.
Women: They're softer (physically) and more open with what they're feeling. They're comfortable showing a sentimental, nurturing side.

[SanVito]

Coming from the perspective of someone who identifies as lesbian but has *gasp* been married to a man in the past, what I love about women:

1) Beautiful soft skin
2) Emotional maturity, i.e., they are sensitive to your feelings, feel comfortable expressing theirs and *talk* about stuff
3) They plan stuff: holidays, dates, birthday presents, surprises. They don't just say 'yeah, let's go away' and then let you do all the planning.
4) They don't have obsessive interest in hobbies that take up half their time and exclude you in the process
5) They cook, and clean, and take out the trash, and pick things up, without being asked, and thank you when they notice you have done any of these things, even though they don't have to.
6) They really care about their appearance and have a broad variety of dress – casual and scruffy, smart and business like, sultry and sexy, which keeps life interesting and keeps the attraction alive
7) They don't embarrass you on the dance floor

[The Great Sun Jester]

I'm having a tough time with this question. What I really like about some wimmins is by no means common to all of 'em.

"You see if you ask me we're heterosexual by default, not by decision. It's just a question of who you fancy. It's all about aesthetics and it's fuck all to do with morality." --Mark "Rentboy" Renton

[corkboard]

Originally Posted by SanVito

Coming from the perspective of someone who identifies as lesbian but has *gasp* been married to a man in the past, what I love about women:

1) Beautiful soft skin
2) Emotional maturity, i.e., they are sensitive to your feelings, feel comfortable expressing theirs and *talk* about stuff
3) They plan stuff: holidays, dates, birthday presents, surprises. They don't just say 'yeah, let's go away' and then let you do all the planning.
4) They don't have obsessive interest in hobbies that take up half their time and exclude you in the process
5) They cook, and clean, and take out the trash, and pick things up, without being asked, and thank you when they notice you have done any of these things, even though they don't have to.
6) They really care about their appearance and have a broad variety of dress – casual and scruffy, smart and business like, sultry and sexy, which keeps life interesting and keeps the attraction alive
7) They don't embarrass you on the dance floor

I don't think I could say it any better.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

I thought I was hetero until your post SanVito.

Now I think I'm attracted to anyone who takes out the garbage.

[DCnDC]

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

[SanVito]

Originally Posted by 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast

I thought I was hetero until your post SanVito.

Now I think I'm attracted to anyone who takes out the garbage.

Isn't the question 'what do you like about the gender you're attracted to', not 'what do you find attractive about your preferred gender'.

I like boobies too, by the way. I just figured they were a given.

[Really Not All That Bright]

They smell better, taste better, and have breasts. Lest you think I'd be happy with a fastidious fat guy, they're also prettier, typically gentler, and will come over all giggly at the slightest provocation.

[Dogzilla]

female, hetero

What I love about men:
• They are straightforward, mostly. They say what they mean, mostly.
• They're hairy. I love stubble. Especially bald head stubble. (My dog likes it too!)
• They're stinky. Man sweat makes me hot.
• They're muscle-y. They can open stuff and lift heavy things.
• They have penises. I like penii.
• They fart, belch, snore, and leave their skid-marked man-panties lying around in weird places.
• They don't spend a lot of time talking about babies, nursing, periods, cramps, chunky days, bras, pantyhose, and high heels.
• They do spend time talking about cars, boats, sports, politics, religion, current events, economics, philosophy, and other far more interesting topics than 'girly' stuff.

Basically, women are boring to me. Male energy fascinates me. I'm drawn to it. Most of my friends are men; I usually only have one or two girl friends at any given time. Women tend to be too catty and competitive, IME. There are not many women with whom I can spend as much time as I'd feel comfortable spending with men. This could be from growing up at the racetrack (my dad used to race motorcycles); I'm very much accustomed to being around rough-and-tough guys, gearheads, and other examples of über-masculinity. I'd feel much more at home in a biker bar than I would at a quilting bee or baby shower.

[MeanOldLady]

Jeez, you sure do hate chicks. I'm not a fan of bimbos either, but all the chicks I know are cool. They're smart and don't sit around talking about "chick stuff" nonstop. Similarly, I don't care much for himbos. If you smash beer cans with your head, and think the coolest thing ever is to watch shit get blown up (okay, explosions are kind of cool) I'm just as interested in what you have to say as I am someone who won't shut the fuck up about their babies. Fact: Your babies have never said anything funny. These, though, I agree with whole-heartedly:

Originally Posted by Dogzilla

• They're hairy. I love stubble. Especially bald head stubble. (My dog likes it too!)
• They're stinky. Man sweat makes me hot.
• They're muscle-y. They can open stuff and lift heavy things.
• They have penises. I like penii.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

Originally Posted by SanVito

Isn't the question 'what do you like about the gender you're attracted to', not 'what do you find attractive about your preferred gender'.

Ok. What I like about the gender I'm attracted to is that they take out garbage, they're not pedantic, and they get my humour.

[Dogzilla]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Jeez, you sure do hate chicks. I'm not a fan of bimbos either, but all the chicks I know are cool. They're smart and don't sit around talking about "chick stuff" nonstop. Similarly, I don't care much for himbos. If you smash beer cans with your head, and think the coolest thing ever is to watch shit get blown up (okay, explosions are kind of cool) I'm just as interested in what you have to say as I am someone who won't shut the fuck up about their babies. Fact: Your babies have never said anything funny. These, though, I agree with whole-heartedly

Nah, I don't really hate chicks. I just like men a whole lot more and don't have much use for other women. The one or two girl friends I have, are what you'd call "cool chicks." I'm right there with ya on himbos.

[MichaelEmouse]

Originally Posted by 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast

they're not pedantic

I beg to differ. Plenty of men on the SDMB are pedantic.






As for the OP, anything you associate with your preferred gender is fine to mention. Whether it's something you like or find attractive or whatever is in that general area.

[tdn]

Hetero male here.

I like that women are intuitive, emotional, socially aware, nurturing, soft, and when opened properly, sexual freaks. And though I have little use for things like astrology, psychics, and other mystical things, I like that women are prone to liking those things. I find it endearing.

Oh, and let's not forget 0.7. I love 0.7!

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Jeez, you sure do hate chicks. I'm not a fan of bimbos either, but all the chicks I know are cool. They're smart and don't sit around talking about "chick stuff" nonstop. Similarly, I don't care much for himbos. If you smash beer cans with your head, and think the coolest thing ever is to watch shit get blown up (okay, explosions are kind of cool) I'm just as interested in what you have to say as I am someone who won't shut the fuck up about their babies. Fact: Your babies have never said anything funny. These, though, I agree with whole-heartedly:

MOL, suffice it to say that the world would be a better place if chicks were as you describe. Or more like you.

Originally Posted by tdn

I like that women are intuitive, emotional, socially aware, nurturing, soft, and when opened properly, sexual freaks.

Opened properly? Do they come in jars where you live?

[silenus]

Boobs.


Hetero male

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright

Opened properly? Do they come in jars where you live?

Yeah, but the store is usually out of them, so I have to get them from the fresh produce aisle.

[SanVito]

Originally Posted by silenus

Boobs.


Hetero male

A man of simple needs

[kushiel]

Abs. Male abs are gorgeous. Six-packs on women...they don't appeal to me at all.

Men are protective in that super growly I AM ALPHA WOLF way. I mean, women can totally be lionesses, but I've always equated it with protecting the babies and not like romance novel cover shielding their mate.

Men also tend to skew towards being more geeky. Give me a man who will debate with me Warcraft lore and I will be happy.

[Sven of the Jungle]

Male (complete with chromosomes), non-exclusively heterosexual.

Women smell amazing. This is a big thing for me; it's hard to sustain any sort of lasting (physical) attraction with a woman unless I like how she smells. The thing I miss the most about being in a committed relationship is falling asleep with my face buried in her hair. It's intoxicating. Men don't smell half as good as women.

I like men's legs and arms, especially if they're veiny. Stubble (both face and scalp) is hot. Penii too. I love me some penis.

Women are easier to get along with. You're not competing with them (speaking only as a man), and when neither party is trying to impress the other, the dynamic is a lot less stressful. I like direct and forceful, but I don't like how my fellow men tend to get into contests over the most trivial things to prove a point.

But women who exhibit masculine traits are that much hotter. I'm absolutely enthralled by women with short hair and 'man-hands'. I was absolutely nuts over a friend of mine with huge, veiny hands and feet, and I'm positively obsessed with tall women (I'm not a short man). Women who unselfconsciously combine traits of both genders make me go all weak and rubbery in the knees.

Same goes for men, too, but not quite in the same way; suffice it to say that most of the men I've been attracted to have been tall, skinny guys that write poetry and talk frankly about their feelings, while most women I've been attracted to have been tall, know how to use power tools and could probably beat the shit out of me.

[purplehorseshoe]

I can totally appreciate women and the whole "yay! boobies!" thing but I've never really been with one (outside my own mind) so I'm gonna identify as a hetero F here and talk about men.


Physically: shoulders. Ooooo .... lovely muscles, smooth skin. The shape of the back of a man's shoulders, how they taper into a long back ... yum.

Socially: that whole "say what you mean, mean what you say" thing is awesome. Truly a wonder.

Oh, and the whole penis thing. What a wonderful toy.

[olivesmarch4th]

Female, straight.

I love the sound of a man's voice.
I love how he smells.
I love his smooth shoulders and back and how warm he is to the touch.
I love how calm he is even when it feels like the world is caving in.

A certain man, anyway.

[breaking-reality]

Female. Straight.

Smell is a big one for me. 99% of female perfumes either annoy me, or I barely notice them. But the right scent on a man can be intoxicating.

I pretty much melt when I hear men with a slightly deeper voice, too.

As far as physical traits, I'm attracted to facial hair and I like a guy's hands to be bigger than mine and slightly calloused or scarred. I'm not sure why.

[Beware of Doug]

Originally Posted by Dogzilla

Basically, women are boring to me. Male energy fascinates me.
[...] Women tend to be too catty and competitive, IME.

Male energy is nothing without competition - so you want men to be competitive with each other, just not you. I got your number, missy.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by breaking-reality

Female. Straight.

Smell is a big one for me. 99% of female perfumes either annoy me, or I barely notice them. But the right scent on a man can be intoxicating.

I pretty much melt when I hear men with a slightly deeper voice, too.

As far as physical traits, I'm attracted to facial hair and I like a guy's hands to be bigger than mine and slightly calloused or scarred. I'm not sure why.

Interesting (or maybe not) how what we like best about the opposite sex is that masculine/feminine polarity. (Sven of the Jungle being a notable exception.)

In my list I didn't mention voice, but I do like women with girly voices. Kathleen Turner just doesn't do it for me.

[Dogzilla]

Originally Posted by Beware of Doug

Male energy is nothing without competition - so you want men to be competitive with each other, just not you. I got your number, missy.

Yeah, that works! I've got enough on my plate competing with the other women. I do enjoy boxing, so that does reinforce your theory. Good work!

In other developments, I also love that hollow space between men's shoulders, just below the neck. I like to nuzzle that spot and bite those teeny tiny little downy hairs off. One. by. one.

:: shiver ::

[Really Not All That Bright]

Ow.

[AClockworkMelon]

Originally Posted by Dogzilla

In other developments, I also love that hollow space between men's shoulders, just below the neck. I like to nuzzle that spot and bite those teeny tiny little downy hairs off. One. by. one.

...

*Backs slowly out of the thread.*

[tdn]

Well, it does solve the back hair problem.

[purplehorseshoe]

I forgot two more:


Physical: that one really comfy spot men have on their shoulders. You nestle your head there, and the whole world is suddenly a much better place. Ahh.


Social: Men seem to not have this need to self-impose eating restrictions for no medical (or otherwise) reason. If they wanna eat healthy, they'll order a salad, and feel all self-congratulatory about how healthy they're being. Women will order a salad and then eyeball my fries, whining softly under their breath (or making catty comments about what I'm eating). Bitch, get your own damn fries.

It's a lot more fun to eat a meal with men.

[Anaamika]

Chins. I love a strong male chin. Nice to look at. Nice to run your hand against, or to snuggle under, to feel it scrape against your skin with a day or two of hair growth.

[Dogzilla]

Originally Posted by tdn

Well, it does solve the back hair problem.

And think of the money I save on dental floss.

[breaking-reality]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

Chins. I love a strong male chin. Nice to look at. Nice to run your hand against, or to snuggle under, to feel it scrape against your skin with a day or two of hair growth.

Ooh, agreed. I love when a guy is just the right height that his chin can sit on the top of my head when we hug. And stubble is nice to feel against your fingertips, but I can't stand kissing and feeling like I'm scraping up against sandpaper.

[MeanOldLady]

Yes. I like for this to be only a slight exaggeration. Weak chins: Bad.

[blindboyard]

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulses that could give the name of "the fair sex" to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped and short-legged race.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Me, I like that women are those things. Broad hipped especially, very nice.

[purplehorseshoe]

Hey, who you callin' "short-legged?"

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Men smell good. Most of them, anyway. I like the deeper voices of men.
I agree with purplehorseshoe, eating with or feeding a healthy man is more fun than eating with or feeding a food obsessed girly-girl.

[ZipperJJ]

Hetero female.

I like that men don't have boobs. There's a nice solid place for me to rest my head and still see their face, with no fatty mounds in the way.

I like shoulders a lot. My roommate, who I would never fuck in a million years, has shoulders like an ox yoke. It's his job to clean the house. I could watch those shoulders clean the house all day.

I do like me some cock too.

I like how men get into fights with their friends and are just "whatever" about it. My business partner said something mean to me over a year ago and I am still sore about it. My brother got into a tiff with my business partner a couple weeks ago, over a much bigger thing, and they are just fine now. I think my crush-friend gets in fights with his best friend and his roommate like every other day. But they are fine.

I like the food thing too. I like to feed a guy.

[SanVito]

Originally Posted by The Devil's Grandmother

Men smell good. Most of them, anyway. I like the deeper voices of men.

Eeew, I HATE how most men smell. I really notice, if I'm on a packed sweaty commuter train, a faint smell of sperm. I'm not kidding... particularly beefy (not fat) men, even when they're clean, smell vaguely of sperm when they sweat. YUUUCK!!!

[Dogzilla]

I like to feed a guy.

I really like men who cook.

Cooking with my guy = teh best. You get to bond over the cooking process and enjoy the meal together.

I think for a lot of us, food = foreplay.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Wow, SanVito, I'm so sorry. If I could smell that I'd consider a little vick's vapo rub on my nose everyday.
I kinda like men with really short hair. Petting their heads is like velvet. One of my friends keeps her son in a buzz-cut, and I always have to remind myself not to pat his head when I see them.

[Superhal]

DNA. I can't really see why I'm attracted to women and sometimes it irritates the hell out of me.

[Acantha]

Originally Posted by Superhal

DNA. I can't really see why I'm attracted to women and sometimes it irritates the hell out of me.

This made me laugh more than it probably should have.


I like the outward appearance of calm most men seem to manage in a crisis. I don't know if they're truly calm or if it's a facade, but it's reassuring nonetheless.

Arms

Chests

Beards, and then also, impossibly smooth shaven faces.

Someone else mentioned buzz-cuts...I love the suede-y feel of a buzz cut or shaved head that is just barely grown out.

Logical thinking-sometimes it can be infuriating as well, but I seem to be drawn to super-logical men and I tend to be more of an emotional thinker, so it balances out and helps when there are problems to solve. I think 2 emotional thinkers would be disastrous.