In the '80s and '90s I hardly ever saw them. When I did I thought it was a Mexican thing, since the crosses were surrounded by Catholic paraphernalia and Mexican/Central American/South American artifacts. Since then roadside memorials have popped up all over the place. (Not to mention the vinyl memorials on vehicles.) They never struck me as ‘creepy’. Not being a religious person, I just found them a little odd.
But there’s this one on the road to my house. I’ve never stopped to read it in the seven years I’ve been here, but I think I’ve read ‘Jeffery Schneider’ and the years '53 and '77. It’s a sturdy white cross, about a meter tall. It is decorated regularly with seasonal flowers. Twice I’ve seen an elderly woman tending it. I wonder if it really has been there for 30+ years? I wonder whether ‘Jeffery’ (if I remember the name correctly) died at that spot, or if the spot is just convenient to his (presumed) mother? It strikes me as a bit creepy and sad. Like, the woman is bound to this place by the memory of long-dead son. Of course, it might be that it’s her home and she likes it here. It’s not a bad place to live. But the cross in the ground gives me the impression of an iron spike and a heavy chain. As if, ‘I can never move away! This is my son’s dying place!’ I wonder if the late Mr. Schneider is buried in the tiny, waterlogged cemetery a couple of miles from here? And what happens when the old woman dies? Will the memorial just decay and be forgotten?
But mainly these roadside memorials remind me of my own mortality, which I’d rather not think about.
One near me used to take the form of a sign (with names and dates) and flowers bedecking the fatal tree itself, until after some years somebody decided to cut down the tree, and the memorial moved to a small post farther back. It seems less effective now as a deterrent to stupid driving, though presumably safer for anyone who careens off the road at that particular point.
Charleston is surrounded by winding, unlit, narrow roads with 55mph speed limits bordered by massive 500 year old oak trees. Those crosses are everywhere, sometimes more than one on a single tree.
That one in particular would really creep me out, because my brother is Jeffrey Schneider. He did not die over 30 years ago in Washington State, though. Last I checked, he was alive and living in Washington-Not-The-State.
But no, in general, I don’t find them creepy. Sometimes I wonder if anyone died in the process of setting them up… you sometimes see them in very dangerous road areas.
What bugs me about them is that they mark where someone died. If you wanted to remember someone, wouldn’t you want to remember when they were alive and enjoying life rather than where they drew their last, painful breath? Yeah, I know, some people see the memorials as a reminder to drive carefully or something, but to me, they’re just dumb. And the “In Memory Of” stickers on the rear windows of cars just creep me out.
My dad died when he and my mom were houseguests at a friend’s - he had a heart attack in the shower. My slightly warped side imagines a shrine to my dad in Linda’s guest bathroom. :eek: Now *that *would be creepy.
I think we should be reminded of our mortality when driving, because driving is a potentially deadly activity. I feel those memorials are an effective way to remind us to drive safely.
As a cyclist, “ghost bikes” affect me even more. This one is only a few blocks away from my office, and is always a good reminder of the dangers I face every day.
I consider myself a ‘tactical’ driver. That is, I strive to maintain situational awareness and am well aware of the hazards of machinery + speed. Dwelling on one’s mortality (or being made to consider it, as with the memorials) just seems morbid to me.
I think our present modern society is rather unusual in how little we contemplate mortality. In most times and places, death was much more visible and perceptually imminent than it is for us now.
I never saw these until I moved to the South (I am in extreme northeast FL).
They creep me out more than the roadside crosses and memorials, but that’s probably just because I saw plenty of roadside shrines in Colorado, while those decal things are still so new and bizarre to me.
Yes.
I actually have a fondness for cemeteries, and try to visit one wherever I travel, but that’s quite different, isn’t it–it gives me the choice to confront death, while roadside memorials just sort of pop out of nowhere when you least expect them.
One poignant scene I happened upon years ago: We went for a short hike to see a small waterfall in southern Colorado. At the top of the falls there was a tiny cave.
My son peeked inside and saw a little memorial there: a blue baby’s onesie along with a little blue teddybear, propped on a tiny chair.
They creep me out because it usually marks the exact place where someone died. And it’s usually roadside. Relatives and friends, it seems to me, would be remembering the person at their burial site (cemetary) or in a house of worship or even just going about their business in their everyday life.
The roadside memorial seems as if someone is trying to make a “statement” and it’s not really personal to them anymore. I’ve actually seen them on the railing of highway bridges, with no place to park your car if you wanted to either say a blessing or tend to the site.
The most chilling memorial I’ve ever seen was for this horrific accident where a drunk driver killed a bunch of people in a bus. I’m glad that they do mark the site of the accident though. I think people should be thinking about the reality that car accidents can be deadly when they’re on the road (and especially when it comes to drinking and driving).
Sometimes I think of them as a little creepy. But then I start thinking “well, if it helps the people who loved them feel better, what’s a little goosebump on my arms while I’m driving?” IOW, they weren’t put there for me, either on the positive or the negative side. They are there (I think) for the loved ones.
So really, if it helps someone else, it ain’t much skin off my nose.
Thank you, THANK YOU for starting this thread. I have tried to start this thread a thousand times but I couldn’t figure out how to do it without pissing someone off. I just couldn’t figure out how to ask the question without it coming off as rude.
I find them and the associated memorial–the sticker in the back of a car just sort of odd. How and when do you decide to NOT keep it up any longer? When you sell the car do you scrape it off? Seems rather disrespectful to me! Same with the roadside memorial, they are kept up for a few months then suddenly they stop keeping them clean and then they sort of just disappear. What is the thought process I always wonder.
There’s a big white wooden cross in a field not half a mile from here where a girl flipped her car trying to avoid a deer and died on the spot. The family put up the cross less than a week after she died, which startled me a bit. Flowers and stuffed animals are added regularly. It does give me a chance to give my teenage drivers a lecture about not swerving to avoid the deer. Hit the damn thing and put some meat in the freezer.
We’re just in the middle of a ten day road trip right now (Calgary to Yellowknife and back) and we see them in the ditches everywhere. I don’t find them creepy at all; I think they’re a good reminder that driving is the most dangerous thing we do every day. Most of them are just along the highway with nothing particularly scary-looking about that stretch of road - something managed to happen, though, and somebody died.
Speaking of which, we came across a fresh accident today - it looked like someone had rolled their camper into the ditch and just destroyed it. We were hoping that it was a trailer with no one in it, not a dead family (I didn’t look too closely - I didn’t want to see body parts or dead babies).
Forgot to say, I haven’t seen memorials on cars - that would be creepy.
