I have a checkered past that while I’m not proud of, I’m not ashamed to talk about. I’ve done things ranging from petty theft by taking to arson. Some of the things I’ve done has led to court, while others the statute of limitations have expired on.
Feel free to ask anything you like. I figure folks around here might be interested. (If this violates the rules, I apologize. I looked through them, but didn’t see one.)
What was your primary motivation for committing crimes? Drugs? Boredom? Money?
Depends on the crime.
I stole whenever there was something I couldn’t afford but wanted. I rationalized that this was ok as I had rules I followed. Never steal from family, the elderly, single mothers, or the poor.
Arson was for the fun of burning something. I’ve always found fire fascinating, and the bigger the flame, the better. I convinced myself that I wasn’t hurting anyone since I only burning stuff that seemed to be abandoned.
Simple battery was due to a very short temper.
Why did you start this thread, and why do you consider yourself reformed?
1 & 2. Different things. The first was shoplifting baseball cards from a Big Star back in the mid 80s. I was maybe 6 years old. The cops made me go back inside, return the cards, and apologize to the manager. He then banned me from the store, instead of pressing charges. Not long after that I made prank calls to 911, which resulted in spending a day at the local police department in a holding cell by myself. There was a simple battery case where I slapped my 14 year old sister across the face; I was 23 at the time. That one resulted in being held over night until I got bailed out. The case was dropped when my sister refused to testify against me. Around 12 I set a dumpster on fire, which resulted in having to serve 30 days of community service and 6 months of seeing a shrink. Set off minor explosives in school on two different occasions after Zero Tolerance went into effect. I got suspended for two weeks both times, and had to see the school shrink the rest of the year. Those are the ones that resulted in any legal action.
Curiosity mostly. I wanted to see what kind of questions people would come up with.
My youngest sister is the reason I consider myself reformed. The last time I was arrested, she witnessed the crime, and my subsequent arrest. She’s been more of a daughter to me than a sister, and seeing the hurt and confusion on her face made me realize just how badly I had been screwing up. I decided then and there to change my ways.
It’s been 6 years since then. I haven’t stolen, struck out in anger, set anything on fire, or any other crime. I don’t download music, movies, etc. I don’t even jaywalk anymore. I spend the part of each week visiting the local juvie, talking to the kids there, trying to get them to straighten up. I’ve even pointed out security flaws to local merchants that I once would’ve taken advantage of. If that’s not reformed, I don’t know what is.
How much of it was due to peer pressure? Did you face resistances from others while you were attempting to change? Or any encouragement?
How did you feel when this happened? Were you contrite? When the manager declined to press charges, did you feel you’d gotten away with something, or were you grateful? How did your parents (especially your mom) react when this happened?
I hope my questions aren’t too prying. Thank you for letting us ask.
No peer pressure. For the most part my friends had no clue what I was up to, until after an authority figure got involved. The only time peer pressure was involved was setting off the minor explosions*. A friend of mine dared me, and I did it. A year later, another friend heard the story, didn’t believe I would do it, so I did it again.
There was no resistance to my changing. In school and afterwards I hung out with people who generally did the right thing, and they were happy to see me change.
I was irritated with myself for getting caught. I figured shoving packs of cards down my sweat pants was a good idea, as no one could see through them, right? A large square shaped bulge was the give away. I was relieved he didn’t press charges, as I had heard what happened in prisons (again, the family element). My mom was quite disappointed in me. She cried for days afterwords, and grounded me for months.
By this point my father hadn’t been in my life much, and I didn’t respect him at all. The one time he was around and tried to punish me for spilling his beer on his car, I broke his nose. My reasoning at the time being if he could pop me for spilling his beer, I could hit him in the nose for popping me. That was the one and only time any physical punishment has been used on me.
Edit* The questions aren’t to prying. If I weren’t prepared to answer them, I wouldn’t have started the thread.
Do you still have issues with authority? If so, what form does it take?
Have you had difficulties getting jobs or making friends due to your prior arrests?
Do you ever experience a desire to commit criminal acts? I’m not saying you would, just if pops into your head and you have to squash the idea.
Most definitely. If a person hasn’t done something to prove they have the right to tell me what to do, or not do, I will rarely listen to them. Taking an example from when I last worked retail, we had a new person come in to train as a manager for another store. This was a common occurrence, as the manager of the store’s job was to train managers. He assumed that just because he’s going to be a manager, that he can boss me around. I let him know in no uncertain terms what he could do with his orders, and that if he didn’t shut up and do some real work I’d walk out and leave him without a cashier for the night. Since he hadn’t even learned the register at this point, it would’ve left him in a major bind. Luckily my boss supported me on this, and said not to do it again. Since she had earned my respect, I listened to her.
I have had some trouble finding work with my background, which has led me to doing small jobs wherever I can find them. Yard work, computer repair, minor electrical and plumbing work, that sort of thing. Before the recession hit full swing, I was doing ok at it, averaging $20k/year. It was enough to support myself and help my mom out. Since 2009 most of my customers have moved away, leaving me without work again.
There have been times I’ve wanted to set stuff on fire again. I’ve mostly broken this habit by carrying a zippo on me and just letting it burn for awhile. Or amusing kids with small acts of “magic” using a bic lighter. Stuff like holding fire in my hand, or breathing fire, or engulfing my hand in flame. I always show them my burn scars afterwords and warn them how dangerous trying it can be.
I’ve also been tempted a time or two to walk off with a laptop or iphone when I’ve found them at the local park. Instead I check them for info that could lead me to the owner, or take them to the police department, which is just a few minute walk down the road.
This is the quickest way to entice kids to play with fires exactly the same way you are. You’re fooling yourself if you think that showing them how cool it is, then warning them that it’s risky, is going to persuade them not to do it. Find another way to amuse yourself. Showing off “magic” fire feats in front of kids is the height of ignorant stupidity.
What’s your opinion of the police?
I don’t do it with just any child. Only kids I’m around on a daily basis, so that when they know I say something is dangerous, they know I’m being quite serious. I’ve been doing this for three years, and none of them have tried anything I’ve done yet, and I don’t see them doing it in the future. Watching me doing it is no different than watching fire jugglers or fire breathers at school carnivals, which happen quite often here.
Some are good guys and gals, who do their job and try to keep the streets safe. I respect those cops, and go out of my way to help them, even the ones who have arrested me. These are the ones I’ve had the most experience with.
Some are assholes who abuse their power. They need watching, and I’m wary to be alone with them.
Some are corrupt, and deserve to be in jail for the massive abuses they’ve made of their power. In my experience these are the rarest, but they give the rest a bad name.
Unfortunately you can’t usually tell which kind you’re dealing with until you’re already in cuffs.
Have you ever made an effort to repay anyone from whom you stole or whose property you destroyed? Why or why not?
Have you ever been the victim of the type of crime you’ve committed?
Yup. The one person that stands out the most in my mind is my 5th grade teacher. She was the person that got me into reading, though at the time I hated her for it. She loved to read, and had a huge collection of books that she brought in for her students to check out. I took her favorite one without telling her, and never returned it.
A couple of years ago I found a new copy of the book at a bookstore, and it reminded me of what I had done. I bought it, the rest of the collection the book belonged to, and mailed them all to her, with a note explaining what I had done and why I was sending her such a large package. She never did respond, so I guess she was too angry at me. It’s also one of the things I regret the most, as I didn’t realize until later how wonderful of a person she really was, and I’d like to be friends with her now.