Facebook Q: Did someone de-friend me?

[kaylasdad99]

And if so, how can I find out?

I was checking kaylasmom's FB page for her today, and noticed that her friends count appears to have fallen by one. Does FB have a function that notifies a member when a de-friending has taken place, or that can be checked to note any deletions?

Thanks in advance for any responses.

[Munch]

They do not notify you.

You can, however, try to go to their page. If you can't access it, you're no longer their friend.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Facebook does not notify you when you're defriended. You'll only notice if the person blocks you entirely (so you can't view their pages) or, like moi, you have few enough friends so any change is noticeable.

-Skald, currently culling his friends list from simple pettiness and making sure to send emails to those he wants out of his life aforehand.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Originally Posted by Munch

They do not notify you.

You can, however, try to go to their page. If you can't access it, you're no longer their friend.

Technically that'll depend on their settings. Anybody can go to my Skald-as-corporate-drone page, but only my 90 -- um, 89 -- um, 85 -- friends can get to the personal one.

[kaylasdad99]

Problem is, I don't have a list of the original fifty-one people in my head. Would the links stay up in her profile page, so I could just try going to every entry there (the friends list on her profile page adds everybody she's ever asked to be friends with, even if they haven't accepted yet)?

[Munch]

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99

Problem is, I don't have a list of the original fifty-one people in my head. Would the links stay up in her profile page, so I could just try going to every entry there (the friends list on her profile page adds everybody she's ever asked to be friends with, even if they haven't accepted yet)?

No. You'll have to remember who the missing person is.

[kaylasdad99]

Well, crap.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, though.

ETA: Wait a minute. What if I go through all of her old incoming emails from FB, that tell her when someone has accepted a request?

[GESancMan]

I have a couple of friends who periodically disable their accounts, sometimes for a few days, sometimes several weeks. Then they suddenly show up again as if nothing were amiss. It could be something like that.

[thelurkinghorror]

This will work. The catch: you have to have it installed before people unfriend you. Requires firefox and greasemonkey too.

[Swallowed My Cellphone]

I have a small number on my list too (don't really use it much) and saw my list drop by one.

I figured if I couldn't remember who's missing, then they aren't an important "friend" and didn't sweat it.

[Omar Little]

Why the obsession over who defriended your wife? Are you planning retribution?

Could also be one of her friends decided to deactivate their facebook account. That would result in them no longer being included in her count.

[leftfield6]

The real FB-Diss is when someone un-friends you and also blocks you. Lets say I have a friend (or so I thought) named Suzy. For some reason, Suzy un-friends me and also blocks me. To me, as I surf FB, Suzy no longer exists.

• If I search for her, no results come up
• If we have common friends and Suzy writes on their wall, I don't see her posting
• I no longer see her listed as a friend of my friends.
• She just...poof...goes away.

The only way you can "sense the ghost" of Suzy is when numbers don't add up. For example, I see on a friend's wall that "4 people like" his cute picture of a puppy. But when I click on the "like" to see who these people are, I only see 3 names. Hmmm, someone is hiding from me.

[BigT]

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

Facebook does not notify you when you're defriended. You'll only notice if the person blocks you entirely (so you can't view their pages) or, like moi, you have few enough friends so any change is noticeable.

-Skald, currently culling his friends list from simple pettiness and making sure to send emails to those he wants out of his life aforehand.

I'm ashamed of you. That last part makes you definitely not evil. I hate it when people defriend without at least telling you why.

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror

This will work. The catch: you have to have it installed before people unfriend you. Requires firefox and greasemonkey too.

Cool. Does it come with a time machine app, so I can satisfy that catch?

ETA: I SWEAR that's the only thing I want that app for.

[digs]

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99

And if so, how can I find out?

I was checking kaylasmom's FB page for her today, and noticed that her friends count appears to have fallen by one. Does FB have a function that notifies a member when a de-friending has taken place, or that can be checked to note any deletions?

Thanks in advance for any responses.

Take a deep, centering breath... and let it go...

Is kaylasmom worrying about this? If I let my wife know that I was obses--I mean, concerned about her being defriended, she would NOT think "Oh, how sweet, he wants to defend my honor." She'd think "I married an uptight neurotic". And... she'd be right.

But i'd like to point out that she knew full well she was marrying an uptight neurotic.

[Guinastasia]

I think it makes sense -- if you have someone who's harassing you, or an ex who's abusive or whatever, NOT letting them know you're defriending them is definitely the way to go.