As The Komnenoi World Turns

As my last series, All My Capetians, ended with the end of the, well, Capetians, I hope y’all will join me on a strange journey back in time to the twilight of the Komnenoi dynasty of Byzantium.

I’d like to begin by introducing you, as best I can, to this vanished world, an empire of Greeks who called themselves romaioi, Romans, with one foot in the Christian West and the other in the Near East just as their city, Constantinople, straddled Europe and Asia.

The empire was ringed on all sides by barbaros peoples, infidels, nomads, and ‘false Christians’ which included such peoples as the Vlakhs (ancestors of the modern-day Romanians), the Franks or ‘Latins’ of Western Europe, as well as Byzantium’s ancient enemy, the Arabs. But by the time of the Komnenoi, the most persistent and troublesome enemy was perhaps the various Turkic-speaking nomad tribes. The Bulgars were so fierce that the Emperor Basileios II had been dubbed Boulgaroktonos, or Bulgar-slayer, for kicking mad Bulgar ass; Selcuks had carved out a kingdom for themselves in Anatolia called Rum; in 1091 a horde of Patzinaks attempted to invade Constantinople and were only stopped when the Byzantines allied with the Patzinak’s distant cousins, the Kumans. The Turkic peoples seemed to be pressing in, threatening the Byzantine way of life with their customs, Islam, and love of oil wrestling.

If you and I could travel back in time and stand before the massive kilometer-long walls of Constantinople, first we would pay an entrance fee and then await permission to enter the city’s environs. Entering through the Porta Aurea, the Golden Gate, decorated with statues of emperors and a sculpture of a chariot pulled by four elephants, we would walk down the Via Egnatia, seeing public squares filled with people in brightly colored clothing, the wealthy in silks, the poor in linen, Orthodox priests, eunuchs, children, women, a small portion of the city’s population of about 375,000. Churches stood on almost every street, displaying sacred relics and icons wrought in metal, enamel, or mosaics, which would be marveled at and even kissed by visitors. Pilgrims would mill about us, clutching in their hands encolpia (pendant crosses) as souvenirs. Almost as numerous as the churches were the bathhouses were the Byzantines went to relax and gossip.

In the markets we would find exotic fruits and spices such as pepper and cloves. Foreign visitors to Constantinople often remarked on the rivers of olive oil and wine. We’d haggle with merchants, many of them among the foreigners who called Constantinople home: the Armenians, Jews, Venetians, Genoese, Slavs, and Catholic Christians from Western Europe, as well as Muslims. Romany gypsies, known as athinagoi, also lived in Constantinople, plying their trade as bear-keepers and soothsayers; some “would have snakes wound around them, and they would tell one person that he was born under an evil star, and the other under a lucky star; and they would also prophecy about upcoming good and ill fortunes.”

Perhaps we would catch a glimpse of highborn women going to and from church, veiled from prying eyes, surrounded by servants. Byzantine women were more genteel, sophisticated, and in some ways more powerful than their Western European counterparts. They could make their own wills and have custody of their children if widowed. Women were often educated, and court ladies organized literary circles, reading, borrowing, and commissioning books. Anna Komnene remarks on the foreign women who accompanied the Crusading army to Constantinope, expressing amazement at the way they rode their horses and took part in the fighting beside their men.

This was the world into which Manuel Komnenos was born in November 1118, the youngest child of the emperor Ioannes II and his red-haired wife, Piroska, herself the daughter of King László I of Hungary. He was therefore a porphyrogenitos, an imperial prince born in the purple chamber of the royal palace that was decorated with precious porphyry marble. His father had been emperor for only a few months; Manuel’s grandfather, the emperor Alexios I, had caught a chill while attending the carnival games in the Hippodrome that February, which spread to his shoulder and killed him a few months later. Although his sister Anna Komnene schemed to seize the throne for herself and her husband, Ioannes had her and her cronies packed off to monasteries and firmly established himself on the throne.

William of Tyre described Ioannes II as a short man, swarthy, very ugly, with black hair and eyes, so dark he was known as ‘the Moor’. His subjects called him Kaloioannes, ‘Beautiful Ioannes’, because of the beauty of his character. He was a good man and a great emperor. As soon as he became emperor he promoted his childhood companion, Ioannes Axouch, a Turk who had been captured by Crusaders in 1097 and gifted to Alexios I as a slave, to the rank of megas domestikos, the commander of the Byzantine army. Axouch would serve him faithfully for decades. Ioannes took in Piroska’s blinded cousin, Álmos of Hungary, when Álmos fled to him in 1126. Álmos’ rival, King István II, was so angered when Ioannes refused to expel Álmos that he attacked the then-Byzantine city of Belgrade and tore it down to its foundation stones.

Another exciting event of Manuel’s youth was the exile of his uncle, Isaakios *sebastokrator *(this title means venerable ruler). Isaakios sebastokrator had at first been a firm supporter of his brother Ioannes, but for some reason in 1130 he conspired against him and, being caught, fled with his sons Ioannes Tzepeles and Andronikos to the court of the emir Gazi Gümüştekin Danishmend. Isaakios sebastokrator even tried to form a coalition of allies including Turks and the rulers of Jerusalem, Armenia, and Trebizond to fight Ioannes, but the whole thing fell apart and he eventually returned to court and his brother’s good graces.

Isaakios sebastokrator’s son, Ioannes Tzepeles, had spent his formative years in the emir’s Islamic court and apparently never reconciled himself to being a Byzantine princeling. Due to what Niketas Choniates calls “some trifling vexation against his uncle the emperor Ioannes”, he defected to the Turks in 1140, converted to Islam, and married a Selcuk princess. He would only be one of many black sheep in the Komnenoi family.

Manuel was the youngest of four sons, so his odds of becoming emperor seemed pretty remote. His eldest brother, the co-emperor Alexios, died suddenly of a fever in 1142. The second-eldest son, Andronikos, died while bringing his brother’s body back to Constantinople. At this point, Ioannes II took the shocking step of passing over the third son, Isaakios, in favor of the youngest, Manuel. His homie Axouch pleaded with him not to do it, but Ioannes held firm. Ioannes was killed while boar hunting, and Axouch respected his wishes and made sure Manuel was crowned emperor.

This had to have been cold water in the face to his elder brother Isaakios, but remarkably Isaakios seemed more or less cool with it. Maybe he knew something most people never realized – being a Byzantine emperor was dangerous work! If you didn’t end up dying in battle and your skull being lined with silver and used as a drinking cup by a Bulgar khan, or murdered by your gay lover who’d been living in a big happy foursome with you, your mistress, and your sister, or deposed and blinded by your own goddamn mother, you could look forward to a boring death like accidentally dying on a boar hunt. Maybe Isaakios was like, “Eh, you want the job, you can have it, bro.”

When Manuel became emperor, he found a crown and a fiancee waiting for him. His father had asked the German imperial court for a princess suitable for his son and heir, so the emperor Konrad had sent his wife’s sister, Bertha von Sulzbach, who was precisely the sort of plain, humorless, German hausfrau her name implies. Manuel was too busy partying like a rock star and left her waiting around for about three years before he finally married her. Although he eagerly hoped for sons, none were born.

The Patriarch Kosmas Attikos, who was greatly favored by Manuel’s brother Isaakios who “regarded him almost as a god”, was accused of conspiring to replace Manuel with Isaakios. Angered by this accusation, he cursed Bertha’s womb, declaring that she would never bear a son. Stephanos Kontostephanos, the *megas doux *(grand duke) and husband of Manuel’s sister Anna, nearly beat the shit out of the patriarch when he heard that. In retaliation, the patriarch foretold a “stony fate” for Kontostephanos, who was struck in the loins by a stone missile while in battle a few years later and killed. Regardless, Bertha and Manuel had two daughters, one of whom died young, the survivor being Maria Porphyrogenita.

Choniates has this to say about Manuel and Bertha: “She had the natural trait of being unbending and opinionated. Consequently, the emperor was not very attentive to her, but she shared in the honors, bodyguard, and remaining imperial splendours; in the matters of the bed, however, she was wronged. For Manuel, being young and passionate, was wholly devoted to a dissolute and voluptuous life and given over to banqueting and reveling; whatever the banquet of youth suggested and his vulgar passions prompted, he did. Indulging in sexual intercourse without restraint and copulating with many female partners, he unlawfully penetrated his own kinswoman.”

This kinswoman was his own niece, Theodora Vatatzaina, the daughter of Manuel’s sister Eudokia and her husband Theodoros Vatatzes. Choniates describes Theodora as arching “her eyebrow in conceited disdain” and in every way acting the empress that she was not.

Manuel’s favorite relative at court was his cousin Andronikos Komnenos, son of the disgraced rogue Isaakios *sebastokrator *and brother of the turncoat Ioannes Tzepeles. It’s worth noting that in a court where Manuel partied so hard that he had sex with just about anyone who couldn’t run away fast enough, up to and including his own blood niece, that Andronikos could keep up with and even surpass him in debauchery. Choniates, who was hardly a fan of him, says that Andronikos “excelled most men in bodily strength and his physique was worthy of empire.”

Other fixtures at court included Manuel’s brother Andronikos’ children, Ioannes protosebastos, Alexios, Maria, Eudokia, and Theodora. Theodora married Heinrich II of Austria, who had the remarkable nickname of Jasomirgott (“By God!”). Eudokia was shacked up with her cousin Andronikos. Alexios will be important later. Of these nieces and nephews, the eldest, Ioannes protosebastos, was undoubtably Manuel’s favorite of his siblings’ children that he was (probably) not fucking. He gave his nephew the title of protosebastos (first venerable one) after Ioannes lost an eye in a tournament in Pelagonia and adored him like a son.

Relations could be tense amongst these imperial cousins and nephews. A quarrel broke out in 1145 when Ioannes Axouch, Manuel’s brother Isaakios, and Andronikos debated the military prowess of Manuel versus his father Ioannes. Axouch and Isaakios overly praised Ioannes, to which Andronikos took offense. He taunted Isaakios, who drew his sword and tried to decapitate Andronikos, the blow being blocked by the timely intervention of Manuel and their cousin Ioannes Doukas.

Andronikos was a snake from a nest of snakes. Upset by the honors Manuel gave to Ioannes protosebastos, he tried scheming with the king of Jerusalem and the sultan of Konya. He even promised the king of Hungary two towns under his command if he would help Andronikos seize the throne. Despite this, Manuel seemed unconcerned with his scheming cousin. He barely even noticed when Andronikos bungled an assassination attempt on him during a nightime hunting trip in Pelagonia. It wasn’t until Andronikos threatened to murder Ioannes protosebastos that Manuel began paying attention.

Andronikos was laying in bed with his lover Eudokia, Ioannes protosebastos’s sister, when she confided in him that some of her male relatives were coming that night to kill him. She tried to convince him to dress in drag and sneak out disguised as one of her maids, but Andronikos was afraid of being caught and suffering an inglorious death ‘while being dragged by the hair’ before the emperor in women’s undergarments. Instead, he drew his sword and charged outside, so startling his would-be assailants that he made good his escape.

Manuel had him tracked down, and Andronikos was captured and thrown in prison, where he remained from 1155 to 1158. During this time period, King Baldwin III of Jerusalem requested an imperial bride from Constantinople, and accordingly Theodora Komnene, one of the many daughters of Manuel’s brother Isaakios, was dispatched. Theodora and Baldwin married, but he died a few years later in 1162, leaving her a childless teenage widow.

Meanwhile, Andronikos discovered a secret passageway in his cell and slipped out. He took the time to visit his wife and have sex with her one last time, thereby conceiving their son Ioannes, before escaping. Oh, Andronikos.

SOURCES:

Choniates, Niketas. O city of Byzantium, 1984.
Ciggaar, Krijna. Western travellers to Constantinople: the West and Byzantium, 962-1204: cultural and political relations, 1996.
Kinnamos, Ioannes. *Deeds of John and Manuel Comnenus *(Columbia University Press), 1976
Magdalino, Paul. The empire of Manuel I Komnenos, 1143-1180, 2002.
Rautman, Marcus. Daily life in the Byzantine Empire, 2006.
Soulis, George. “The Gypsies in the Byzantine Empire and the Balkans in the Late Middle Ages”, Dumberton Oaks Papers, vol. 15 (1961).

Yay! Another historical [del]soap opera[/del] epic! :slight_smile:

Wait… Andronikos wife was not Eudokia, right? I got confused, thinking “shacked up” in the first part meant “wife”, then mentioning “lover Eudokia”, and then (unnamed) wife later on.

Yay! More court intrigue!

No Alexios I or John II? :frowning:

Still, props for the subject :).

I do agree with one key part of Andronikos’s departure. If you’re going to take the attitude of “Fuck this town! Fuck the wife! Fuck you all!” it’s worth fucking the wife one last time.

Yay. Another thread. Thanks **Mississipienne **- we gotta find time for an NYC Dopefest so you can regale us with these stories in person…

KarlGrenze, no Eudokia wasn’t Andronikos’ wife. His wife’s name is never given by Choniates, which is puzzling considering Choniates describes the whole incident in some detail. My theory is that all high-born Byzantine women only had a pool of three names to choose from (Eudokia, Theodora, and Maria) so Choniates just assumed we would know her name was one of those three options.

I just love this incident because I feel like it tells us so much about Andronikos’ character. He’s just spent a couple years in prison, he’s a wanted man, and he’s plotted to dethrone the emperor and murder the emperor’s nephew, and what’s he do?

WIFE: Oh my god, honey! You have to escape now! Manuel’s soldiers are looking for you!
ANDRONIKOS: (checks sundial) Eh, I got fifteen minutes.
(bed starts squeaking)

BTW, because I realize how gigantic and crazy this cast of characters is (even worse than the Capetians, and its only gonna get bigger) I decided to create this facebook-style profile for Manuel, summarizing the important bits of the previous episode.

And WordMan, I’ve tried multiple times to get Dopefests together and received a big ‘meh’ in reply. Whatever, y’all can partake of the history soap opera online.

Yep - I remember you trying the Bronx Zoo get-together; it’s tough when my weekends are focused on family…

…either way, online is good!

That “Facebook” profile is priceless!!!

Now I’d like to pause and explain the AIMA prophecy.

Manuel was mad about prophecies and astrology and all manner of woo-woo; he was a very superstitious man and he saw signs and portents in everything. The time he didn’t spend in bed with his niece or dodging assassins was spent holding crystals and trying to contact his ‘spirit animal’. The AIMA prophecy, ascribed to someone called ‘Leo the Wise’, who really should’ve been called ‘Leo the Jackass’ for the amount of bloodshed and tragedy he’d cause, went thusly: the initial letter of the name of each Byzantine emperor would spell the word aima (Greek for blood), a sequence destined to repeat over and over. So far the sequence had gone as follows:

A: Alexios I
I: Ioannes II
M: Manuel

So they needed another A to fulfil the prophecy and start the sequence over again. Now Manuel had many sleepless nights over this, because he and Bertha had failed to produce a son. Despite years of enjoying the finest vaginas the Byzantine empire had to offer, Manuel was without an heir. Undaunted, he resolved to name every potential heir with an A name to make sure the prophecy would come to pass, one way or another. When his niece Theodora gave birth to a son, Manuel named him Alexios. When he betrothed his daughter Maria Porphyrogenita to Prince Béla of Hungary, Manuel had Béla renamed Alexios, just in case.

Anyway, Manuel’s wife Bertha died, and he was free to marry again. He wanted a bride from one of the Crusader states, and his choice was between Maria of Antioch 1 or her cousin, Melisende of Tripoli. He was initially leaning in Melisende’s favor until rumors reached the Byzantine court that her mother, Hodierna of Jerusalem, was a dirty harlot and that there was a big question mark over the issue of Melisende’s paternity. Manuel chose Maria of Antioch, which so offended Melisende’s brother Raymond III of Tripoli that he sent the ships he’d prepared to take his sister to Constantinople to ravage the coasts of Byzantine Cyprus.

Maria was young and beautiful, and Manuel was so hopeful of an heir from her that he kept his would-be son-in-law Béla hanging for years over whether or not he would even get to marry Maria Porphyrogenita.

Now I’d like you to meet Kılıç Arslan bin Mesud, the young Selcuk sultan and the brother-in-law of Ioannes Tzepeles, Andronikos’ Muslim convert brother. Choniates tells us that he was an ugly little scamp who walked with a limp, so misshapen that Andronikos mocked him as Koutz-Arslan (Halted Arslan). What he lacked in physical power he made up for in sheer bloody-minded ferocity. A one-two punch from Manuel’s nephew Ioannes Kontostephanes and the Danishmenid sultan Yağıbasan bin Gazi humbled him enough that Kılıç Arslan signed a treaty vowing to be Manuel’s friend and visited Constantinople in 1161 to ratify it. Manuel used the ocassion to show off his bling and take the sultan to watch horse racing in the Hippodrome. This in no way endeared Kılıç Arslan to Manuel, but made him more determined to pillage the shit out of the Byzantines in order to keep the supply of Cristal flowing.

Meanwhile, after a series of daring escapes from the Greeks and Vlakhs, Andronikos made his way to the court of Prince Yaroslav of Halych, in faraway snowy Ukraine in 1165. He and Yaroslav quickly became best friends, to the point where Manuel began sweating over his rogue cousin’s association with the ambitious Yaroslav, not to mention Andronikos’ attempts to assemble a horde of blood-thirsty Kuman shock troops, which he planned to use to conquer Constantinople. Apparently deciding it was safer to have Andronikos where he could keep an eye on him, Manuel offered him a full pardon if he’d return to Constantinople.

Andronikos was made governor of the province of Cilicia, and his first act was a foolhardy and totally insane attack on Toros of Armenia. He seems to have had a personal grudge against Toros, and maybe the two of them knew each other as boys. In 1137, Armenia had been invaded by Emperor Ioannes II, and Toros’ father, King Levon I, fled into the mountains with his family. Finally, outnumbered and starving, Levon surrendered and he and his sons Toros and Roupen were brought as prisoners to Constantinople. Roupen was blinded and killed, and Levon died in captivity, but Toros escaped and returned to Armenia. He and his followers began driving out the Greek occupiers.

Andronikos’ brilliant tactic to take down Toros was basically the military equivalent of coming at him windmilling his arms and legs while shouting “Oooga booga!” Toros’ army calmly beat the shit out of Andronikos’ army. Horrified, Andronikos naturally decided the only way to save face was to perform some deed so manly that just hearing about it would make Manuel grow chest hair. He flung his lance at Toros, who caught it squarely with his shield, and then Andronikos turned and ran like his feet were on fire and his ass was catching. Toros was unharmed and unimpressed.

Now that he had completely bungled the invasion of Armenia, Andronikos was too frightened to return to Constantinople. Instead, he turned tail and headed for Antioch, where he sought refuge with Prince Bohemond III, the brother of Manuel’s new wife Maria. While there, “Andronikos, notorious for being love-smitten” seduced Philippa, the younger sister of Bohemond and Maria. He paraded about like a dandy, Philippa of Antioch trailing after him besotted with love, embarassing both Bohemond and Manuel.

Manuel hatched a cunning plan to deal with this indignity (one assumes his wife Maria was loudly complaining about Manuel’s cousin dishonoring her little sister). He sent Konstantinos Kalamanos 2, “a man of reason, daring, and steadfast nobility of mind” to Antioch to seduce Philippa away from Andronikos. Philippa didn’t spare Konstantinos a second look, mocking him for being short and mocking Manuel for thinking she would forsake Andronikos.

Andronikos was not nearly so loyal to Philippa. Spooked, he fled Antioch and plied his trade as a robber baron against the Turks before making his way to Jerusalem in 1166. There, he met up with his cousin Theodora Komnene, the widowed queen of King Baldwin III of Jerusalem. There’s nothing a Komnenos loves more than another Komnenos, and Andronikos and Theodora started a passionate and scorching love affair. He “dragged her willy-nilly after him to be his companion and fellow wanderer”, and they ran away to Damascus and then to Baghdad, seeking refuge with various Muslim lords. Theodora gave birth to two illegitimate children, Alexios and Irene, and Andronikos’ son Ioannes (who had been conceived in the prison escape incident I mentioned earlier) came to live with them for awhile.

While all this was going on, Manuel was becoming increasingly paranoid over his so-far fruitless marriage to Maria of Antioch. He became convinced that Alexios Axouch, the son of the faithful Ioannes Axouch and the husband of one of Manuel’s nieces, had cast an evil spell on the Empress Maria to prevent her from bearing a son. The root of this seems to have been Manuel’s envy of Alexios Axouch, as he was warmly loved by the army and a very wealthy and powerful man. He’d also offended Manuel by decorating his home with mosaics depicting the brave deeds of the Selcuk sultans, something Manuel viewed as a personal slap in the face. Manuel stripped Alexios Axouch of his rank and possessions and exiled him to a monastery.

Alexios Axouch’s wife, Maria Komnene 3 was so heart-broken that she tried to kill herself. She survived to grovel before her uncle for clemency for her husband, but failing in this, spent her life “weeping like a mourning dove”, until she eventually became deranged. We will see her son, Ioannes Komnenos Axouch, again.

Next episode: Will Manuel and Maria ever have a son? Will Béla of Hungary ever get to marry Maria Porphyrogenita? Will Manuel ever run out of eligible nieces to marry off? Plus: the arrival of foreign adventurers! Stay tuned kids – same Byzantine time, same Byzantine channel!

Footnotes:

  1. Maria’s father was Raymond of Poitiers, the uncle-lover of Eleanor of Aquitaine.
  2. Konstantinos’ paternal grandmother, Eufemia Vladimirovna of Kiev, had been caught in adultery by her husband, King Kálmán of Hungary, and sent back to her father’s court in disgrace. There she gave birth to a son, Boris, who Kálmán refused to acknowledge as his own. Boris made many attempts to seize the Hungarian throne, married a Byzantine noblewoman, and fathered Konstantinos.
  3. Her father was Manuel’s eldest brother, Alexios.

SOURCES (in addition to those already cited):

Eat, drink, and be merry (Luke 12:19): food and wine in Byzantium : papers of the 37th annual spring Symposium of Byzantine Studies, in honour of Professor A.A.M. Bryer, ed. Leslie Brubaker and Kallirhoe Linardou, 2007.
The occult sciences in Byzantium, ed. Paul Magdalino, Maria Mavroudi, 2006.

I love your posts so much, Mississippienne!

Ooh, material for a crossover episode!

For all those times when people needed a bear.

Yo, Emperor Manuel would wreck your life if he disliked your choice of interior decorating. I’m sure he found plenty of uses for captive bears…

These threads rawk! Thanks so much, Mississippienne.

Will you be taking nominations for future threads?

Thanks for the good vibes everyone! Keep em coming!

Oslo, you’re welcome to make suggestions. I’ve already thought about a third series if this one receives a warm reception. I considered doing the Rurikids of the Kievan Rus, but I’ve decided against it because the cast of characters would be even BIGGER and MORE CONFUSING (the Rurikids were, I swear, the most fertile royal medieval family. There were more Rurikids at any given time in the medieval period than there are Duggars now).

I love these threads =)

How about the di Medicis next =)

The Medicis are a little past my period of expertise. I’m pondering doing the fall of the house of Hohenstaufen instead, as the characters (in particular the Emperor Friedrich II) were so vivid and tragic. Anyway, back to the Komnenoi!

1169 was a year of highs and lows for Manuel. His attempted conquest of Egypt fell apart when the Greek army was unable to cooperate with the Latins from the army of Jerusalem 1, but his wife Maria of Antioch was finally pregnant. The Porphyra chamber was prepared for the imperial birth, drapped with silks and decorated with symbols meant to ward off the Evil Eye, then blessed by the patriarch. Manuel himself sat by her bedside as Empress Maria was in labor, although Choniates tells us he “gave most of his attentions to the man who was watching the stars and gaping at the heavens.”

Empress Maria gave birth to a son, which was heralded to the people by Latin and Ethiopian trumpeters and the display of a red pearl-embroidered infant’s slipper from the window of the Great Palace. The people rejoiced in the street; children left their classrooms and the old and sick left their beds to celebrate in the street. Food and wine was distributed in the streets. Eight days later the baby was baptised, of course, Alexios, with his half-sister Maria Porphyrogenita as godmother.

Now that he had a *porphyrogenitos *son of his own, Manuel broke off the engagement between his daughter and Bela, but threw Béla a bone by marrying him to Empress Maria’s half-sister, Agnes of Chatillon 2. Maria Porphyrogenita would then wait around for several more years as her father dangled her as a marriage prize to one foreign ruler and then another. In 1170, he sent a letter to King Henry II of England, wanting to marry Maria Porphyrogenita to one of Henry’s sons; then in 1172 he agreed to marry her to King William II of Sicily, only to break that off to pursue an alliance with the German emperor Barbarossa’s son, Heinrich. All of these matches fell through and Maria Porphyrogenita rapidly approached Byzantine old maidhood.

By the mid-1170s, Manuel had gotten fed up with Kılıç Arslan riding around cracking skulls and slaying virgins, and resolved to take him out, once and for all. He assembled a massive army, with contigents from Serbia, Hungary, and the Crusader kingdoms, filled with bloodthirsty berserkers, badass armored knights, battle-hardened veterans, some of those flying monkeys from The Wizard of OZ, and the Undertaker from the WWE. Manuel’s intention was nothing less than to conquer Konya and kick the Turks out of Anatolia entirely.

The Byzantine army marched out, nearing the ancient ruined fortress of Myriokephalon. Manuel’s army was so huge that the baggage train stretched behind the army ten miles. Manuel was so confident that he rejected offers from Kılıç Arslan to make peace, against the advice of his veteran commanders, “giving ear entirely to his relatives, especially those who had never heard the sound of a war trumpet and had shining heads of hair and bright faces, and who wore gold chains and necklaces of pearls and transparent precious stones.” He also didn’t bother to scout ahead to see if the Turks were waiting for them.

Kılıç Arslan and his Turk warriors laid in wait for the Byzantine army to wind through the narrow pass at Tsiviritze. The Turks surrounded the Byzantine army and swept down on them like birds of prey. The regiment from Antioch broke ranks and ran, but the Greeks fought bravely. They had their backs to the rock walls and were penned in on all sides by Turks; debris and dead animals fell underfoot, preventing the soldiers from reaching one another. Manuel fought ferociously, but when night fell and the Turks slunk away, Manuel slumped, stunned, under a pear tree with his helmet askew. He even hatched a plan to sneak away in the dead of night and leave the foot-soldiers to be killed or captured as slaves. His nephew, Andronikos Kontostephanos, had to shame him into remaining with them.

In the end, only Kılıç Arslan’s mercy allowed the spanked Byzantine army to limp home painfully. Among the dead were Manuel’s favorite nephew, Ioannes protosebastos, Ioannes’ brother-in-law Ioannes Kantakouzenos, and Empress Maria’s brother Baldwin of Antioch.

Having survived the embarassment of Myriokephalon, Manuel turned his attention once again to his neer-do-well cousins Andronikos and Theodora. He sent Nikephoros Palaiologos, the governor of Trebizond, to kidnap Theodora and her two children by Andronikos. As Choniates tells us, because of “his passionate love for her and his ardent devotion to the children which Theodora bore him”, Andronikos begged Manuel for safe conduct to return to Constantinople and ransom Theodora and their children.

To impress Manuel, Andronikos came up with a masterful show of remorse. He appeared before Manuel, wearing a heavy chain around his neck, and had a bystander grasp the chain and dash him against the throne. Impressed by this, Manuel forgave Andronikos YET AGAIN and welcomed him back into his good graces. Sometimes while writing this series I found myself wondering if Manuel was perhaps mildly autistic or something; he never seemed to respond to things the way one would be expected to. He shrugged off assassination attempts and decades-long feuds, but then he’d turn around and absolutely destroy an innocent person if he didn’t like his horoscope that week 3. It’s like he only worried about the most inconsequential crap.

By the way, the name of that bystander who forcefully dashed Andronikos Komnenos against Manuel’s throne is known. He was Isaakios Angelos, a cousin 4 of both Manuel and Andronikos. Remember him well; you will meet him and his kin again soon.

Footnotes:

  1. Led by King Amaury of Jerusalem, who had married Maria Komnene, one out of Manuel’s seemingly inexhausteable supply of nieces.
  2. A couple of years later, Béla would become King Béla III of Hungary.
  3. As another example of his capricious moods, when the courtier Stephanos Hagiochristophorites tried to marry a noblewoman, Manuel had his nose cut off and had him whipped.
  4. His grandmother was Theodora Komnene, a daughter of the Emperor Alexios I, who had married a man of humble origins but “graced with a handsome bloom on his face” named Konstantinos Angelos.

SOURCES:
Birkenmeier, John. The development of the Komnenian army: 1081-1180, 2002.
Hillenbrand, Carole. Turkish myth and muslim symbol: the battle of Manzikert, 2007.

Oh snap! We’ve reached the second season of As The Komnenoi World Turns, and this season promises to be full of intrigue, scandals, betrayals, and SHOCKING! TWIST! ENDINGS!

So Emperor Manuel’s daughter, Maria Porphyrogenita, “longing for the marriage bed” as Choniates puts it, had aged into her thirties without a suitable marriage. Manuel’s choice fell on a teenaged boy, Renier, the son of the marquis of Montferrat, who was “too young to grow a beard”. Renier’s older brother, William Longsword, a warrior of great renown, had married Sibylla, the sister and heiress of the brave but doomed King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem 1, but died in 1177, leaving her pregnant. Another brother, Conrad, will appear on the scene shortly. Maria and Renier married in 1180 and Manuel gave Renier the title of caesar.

No expense was spared for the next Imperial wedding, that of little Alexios, Manuel and Empress Maria’s son, with Agnes, daughter of king Louis VII of France. The chronicler William of Tyre, who attended the wedding, was overwhelmed by the pomp and splendour and the games in the hippodrome.

Meanwhile, yet another Komnenoi cousin was beginning a steady rise to power. His name was Alexios protosebastos, and he was a son of Manuel’s brother Andronikos 2. He was a foppish, lazy fellow and so of course Manuel decided he was destined for great things. His cousin Maria Porphyrogenita hated his guts.

Another villain at court was the vile Aaron Isaakios, a native of Korinth, who had spent several years in captivity in Sicily and while there had mastered several languages. He was employed as the interpreter at court, but Empress Maria reported to Manuel that Aaron was saying one thing to foreign dignitaries and then another to the Greeks, so Manuel had him blinded as punishment. Aaron had been one of the chief accusers of Alexios Axoukh.

In September 1180, Manuel fell ill. He declared his intention to be dressed as a monk on his deathbed, apparently having held off those vows of chastity as long as humanly possible, and so, wrapped in a threadbare black cloak, babbling about his son Alexios and weeping over his fate, he died.

The new emperor Alexios II was just eleven years old. His mother, Maria of Antioch, immediately stepped in as regent. She chose Alexios *protosebastos *as her lover, which enraged her stepdaughter Maria. Alexios *protosebastos *and other unscrupulous lordlings busied themselves by looting the treasury. As for the young emperor, Alexios II was spoiled and wild, spending his time chariot racing or hunting and neglecting his education.

Maria Porphyrogenita, together with her husband Renier, plotted to murder Alexios *protosebastos *and seize power. Their co-conspirators included Alexios Komnenos 3 (Manuel’s illegitimate son by his niece Theodora Vatatzaina), the general Andronikos Lapardas, Ioannes and Manuel Komnenos (both sons of the notorious Andronikos), and Ioannes Kamateros 4. Their plot was discovered and the conspirators arrested, but Maria Porphyrogenita and Renier managed to flee and hole up in the Hagia Sophia. They were joined by Italian mercenaries, a phalanx of Greek soldiers loyal to Maria Porphyrogenita, and an unruly mob of Byzantine citizens. Street fighting broke out between supports of Maria Porphyrogenita and supporters of the regency.

Tumult rocked the city. The common people resented the rule of this foreign empress and her lover. The church of Haghia Sophia had become a fortress. Alexios protosebastos “clung to the palace apartments like an octopus clamping its suckers on a rock”. There was fighting in the streets.

Constantinople needed a miracle. Constantinople needed a hero.

Constantinople *got *Andronikos Komnenos.

Footnotes:

  1. Baldwin IV and Sibylla were the children of King Amaury of Jerusalem by his first marriage to Agnes of Edessa. Their half-sister, Isabella, was born of his second marriage to Maria Komnene, a niece of Manuel. Baldwin IV suffered from leprosy.
  2. His sister Eudokia had been Andronikos’ lover.
  3. Yes, I KNOW, another freaking Alexios.
  4. Ioannes Kamateros was a distant imperial cousin (he was descended from Michael Doukas, brother of the Empress Irene, the mother of Emperor Ioannes II) and the brother of Euphrosyne Doukaina Kamatera, the wife of Alexios Angelos.