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  #1  
Old 12-12-2010, 06:44 PM
marshmallow marshmallow is offline
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A pig's clitoris is inside the vagina

I recently learned that pigs (and some other mammals) have their clitoris inside their vagina.

Why do I mention it? Only because for some reason I remember an intelligent design thread from several years back where I was listing many ways in which the human body is poorly designed. The fact that the clitoris was on the outside, I thought, was rather stupid. Surely this has caused a lot of frustration over the span of human history. Some joked that it helped weed out bad partners. Several posters, many of them women IIRC, pointed out that giving birth with a clitoris on the inside might be a really bad idea. I didn't dwell on it. But the point with starting from scratch is you wouldn't even really need a clit in particular because you wouldn't need homologous organs anyway. Just transfer the clit nerves to around the vaginal canal. That way it would make sense and women could enjoy penetration a lot more.

But that doesn't matter. Pigs have clits in their vagina!

So, it's just a fact of life that the intelligent designer wants sows to get off more than women. And now you know.

Last edited by marshmallow; 12-12-2010 at 06:46 PM..
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  #2  
Old 12-12-2010, 07:06 PM
ajb867 ajb867 is offline
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Uhh thanks I guess. I feel enlightened I think...nope wait...just gas..
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  #3  
Old 12-12-2010, 07:15 PM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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The thought of a perfectly designed vagina AND bacon may just keep me awake all night.
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  #4  
Old 12-12-2010, 07:59 PM
Cat Fight Cat Fight is offline
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The human clitoris isn't entirely on the outside. That's just the tip. The 'roots' or 'legs' of the clitoris are internal and shaped differently depending on the woman (as well as located in different areas, including their depth and distance from the vagina).
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  #5  
Old 12-12-2010, 08:20 PM
BigT BigT is offline
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I wonder if the corkscrew penis of the male also provides more pleasure.

What?
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  #6  
Old 12-12-2010, 08:28 PM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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bb.bbb....bbbb..bbbbaaa....baaaa......bbbaaaaaaccooon!

gawd that felt good
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  #7  
Old 12-12-2010, 08:36 PM
not what you'd expect not what you'd expect is online now
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Originally Posted by billfish678 View Post
bb.bbb....bbbb..bbbbaaa....baaaa......bbbaaaaaaccooon!

gawd that felt good
I'll have what s/he had!
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  #8  
Old 12-12-2010, 09:04 PM
Zulema Zulema is offline
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I would pay for elective surgery to have this done.
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  #9  
Old 12-12-2010, 09:57 PM
aruvqan aruvqan is offline
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Pay for elective surgery to have this done. Hmmmm.

Not only no, fuck no - stop to think about this for a moment. One of the reasons that vaginal delivery is painful is the nerve tissues in the vaginal tissues being damaged at the same time the tissues are being stretched as the sprog is shoved out. Do you really want even more highly sensitive nerve tissue getting the extra stimulation of a watermelon being shoved out a hole the normal size of a lemon? How about that possible tearing and cutting of an episiotomy? How about the resulting nerve damage and possible loss of sensation from the tearing or cutting of the nerve tissue as part of the delivery?

How about leaving things the way they ended up? External clit seems to work quite well for women currently [except for some benighted jackasses who do clitorectomies]
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  #10  
Old 12-12-2010, 10:27 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is online now
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I thought I remember reading somewhere that female pigs have higher successful fertilization rates if they are sexually stimulated during the act. Oh yeah, Bonk by Mary Roach. Apparently the Danish government made and distributed a DVD about it.
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  #11  
Old 12-12-2010, 10:31 PM
Electric Warrior Electric Warrior is offline
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Originally Posted by aruvqan View Post
a watermelon being shoved out a hole the normal size of a lemon
Hmm, maybe we could just reduce the birth size of humans while we're at it.
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  #12  
Old 12-12-2010, 10:37 PM
Peeta Mellark Peeta Mellark is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aruvqan View Post
Pay for elective surgery to have this done. Hmmmm.

Not only no, fuck no - stop to think about this for a moment. One of the reasons that vaginal delivery is painful is the nerve tissues in the vaginal tissues being damaged at the same time the tissues are being stretched as the sprog is shoved out. Do you really want even more highly sensitive nerve tissue getting the extra stimulation of a watermelon being shoved out a hole the normal size of a lemon? How about that possible tearing and cutting of an episiotomy? How about the resulting nerve damage and possible loss of sensation from the tearing or cutting of the nerve tissue as part of the delivery?

How about leaving things the way they ended up? External clit seems to work quite well for women currently [except for some benighted jackasses who do clitorectomies]
An episiotomy is through the perineum. If it's a particularly bad one, it may go through muscle tissue and nearly to the anus, but usually it's just the skin of the perineum to control the damage rather than letting the body tear naturally (and unpredictably). The reasons an episiotomy is there instead of at the anterior wall (the front) of the vagina are that the majority of tears are in the perineum and cutting through the anterior of the vagina would be pointless as well as damaging to the urinary system.

Because the clitoris is the homolog of the penis, it's not going to be between the vagina and anus in a mammal, the place where an episiotomy or tears from birth will occur. In pigs--and it can be assumed it would be the same if for some reason women were growing them internally, since because of fetal development it has to be near where the penis forms--it's at the ventral wall of the vagina, in a relatively safe place. The ventral wall and anterior wall are the same place, except they are described differently in humans versus quadrupeds since what is aimed at the ground on a quadruped's trunk is aiming forward on a human.

Does it make birth harder or more painful? I don't think so. Pigs don't seem any more distressed about birth than animals with clitorises further from the action.
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  #13  
Old 12-12-2010, 11:00 PM
Pullet Pullet is offline
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Do you have a cite? IIRC from 1st year comparative anatomy, the clitoris of a pig is not inside its vagina. It is inside the antrum, the common opening for both the urethra and the vagina, which then leads out to the vulva.
I can't find my anatomy books, though, and the diagrams google is giving me are rather simplistic to clarify such a nuanced point.
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  #14  
Old 12-13-2010, 07:00 AM
VunderBob VunderBob is online now
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Originally Posted by Zulema View Post
I would pay for elective surgery to have this done.
Unless the guy (or girl, whichever floats your boat) was Gene Simmons, you'd be giving up cunnilingus forever.
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  #15  
Old 12-13-2010, 07:07 AM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
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There's a joke about "the best way to eat pork" in there somewhere, but I'll be goddamned if I can articulate it.
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  #16  
Old 12-13-2010, 09:16 AM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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Originally Posted by VunderBob View Post
Unless the guy (or girl, whichever floats your boat) was Gene Simmons, you'd be giving up cunnilingus forever.
For a moment there I was thinking of Richard Simmons and your point eluded me.
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  #17  
Old 12-13-2010, 09:17 AM
Max Torque Max Torque is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
So, it's just a fact of life that the intelligent designer wants sows to get off more than women. And now you know.
The intelligent designer also wants some animals to eat their food twice to get proper nutrition from it, which casts the "intelligent" part into great doubt for me.
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  #18  
Old 12-13-2010, 10:34 AM
Peeta Mellark Peeta Mellark is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pullet View Post
Do you have a cite? IIRC from 1st year comparative anatomy, the clitoris of a pig is not inside its vagina. It is inside the antrum, the common opening for both the urethra and the vagina, which then leads out to the vulva.
I can't find my anatomy books, though, and the diagrams google is giving me are rather simplistic to clarify such a nuanced point.
Oh, yeah, I'd thought of this after I posted, but the edit window had expired. IIRC, it's not in the vagina unless you're mislabeling the entire urogenital region "the vagina." My only dissection experience with a pig was on a fetus and I can't find a good diagram to confirm this, though.
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  #19  
Old 12-13-2010, 10:56 AM
WhyNot WhyNot is online now
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Yeah, it's not in the vagina. It's roughly analagous to where it is on humans, if our labia were a bit longer and formed an antrum of our vulvas. To say a pig's clitoris is in her vagina is using the layspeak version of "vagina", meaning everything south of the mons and north of the anus: then humans' clits are in the vagina, too!

Wasn't there a doctor who performed unconsenting surgery on a few patients to "improve" the design of their genitalia to, so he thought, lead to greater orgasms? IIRC, he moved the clitoris so it was inside the vagina, and it didn't go well. Intercourse was extremely painful for these women.

Geez, that sounds like the plot for a bad police/medical drama, so I might be making it up, but I really thought it was nonfiction.
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  #20  
Old 12-13-2010, 11:07 AM
Freddy the Pig Freddy the Pig is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigT View Post
I wonder if the corkscrew penis of the male also provides more pleasure.
I can't speak for the sow, but it kicks ass for the boar. It makes masturbation a bitch, though, especially since we don't have opposable thumbs.
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  #21  
Old 12-13-2010, 03:23 PM
ShibbOleth ShibbOleth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigT View Post
I wonder if the corkscrew penis of the male also provides more pleasure.

What?
Definitely something about Intelligent Design here... maybe god is porcine?
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  #22  
Old 12-13-2010, 03:29 PM
WhyNot WhyNot is online now
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Originally Posted by ShibbOleth View Post
Definitely something about Intelligent Design here... maybe god is porcine?
Could be. Bacon is proof that Og loves us, after all.
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  #23  
Old 12-13-2010, 04:31 PM
Quasimodem Quasimodem is offline
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My in-laws are always complaining that I'm too taciturn at family gatherings.

Q
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  #24  
Old 12-13-2010, 05:53 PM
Malthus Malthus is online now
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Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig View Post
I can't speak for the sow, but it kicks ass for the boar. It makes masturbation a bitch, though, especially since we don't have opposable thumbs.
Not a problem. Just get Rebecca Loos in on that action:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2004...v.broadcasting
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  #25  
Old 12-13-2010, 07:24 PM
Regallag_The_Axe Regallag_The_Axe is offline
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Originally Posted by Scumpup View Post
There's a joke about "the best way to eat pork" in there somewhere, but I'll be goddamned if I can articulate it.
I never thought I'd say this, but... I really don't want to hear that joke.
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  #26  
Old 12-13-2010, 07:51 PM
pseudotriton ruber ruber pseudotriton ruber ruber is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pullet View Post
Do you have a cite? IIRC from 1st year comparative anatomy, the clitoris of a pig is not inside its vagina. It is inside the antrum, the common opening for both the urethra and the vagina, which then leads out to the vulva.
I can't find my anatomy books, though, and the diagrams google is giving me are rather simplistic to clarify such a nuanced point.
IOW, in a pig's ass, it is.
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  #27  
Old 12-13-2010, 09:49 PM
Quasimodem Quasimodem is offline
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Originally Posted by Malthus View Post
Not a problem. Just get Rebecca Loos in on that action:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2004...v.broadcasting
Holy crap! Look at those balls!

Or don't.

Q
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  #28  
Old 12-13-2010, 09:55 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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At least it's not in her throat. You'd NEVER get any piglets that way!

Last edited by Guinastasia; 12-13-2010 at 09:55 PM..
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  #29  
Old 12-14-2010, 04:15 AM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot View Post
Yeah, it's not in the vagina. It's roughly analagous to where it is on humans, if our labia were a bit longer and formed an antrum of our vulvas. To say a pig's clitoris is in her vagina is using the layspeak version of "vagina", meaning everything south of the mons and north of the anus: then humans' clits are in the vagina, too!

.
Volcanoes of Mars, Jerry Seinfelds ex girlfriend. Man, I am getting confused here.
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  #30  
Old 12-14-2010, 02:49 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by hotflungwok View Post
I thought I remember reading somewhere that female pigs have higher successful fertilization rates if they are sexually stimulated during the act.
Female humans, too. I suspect that is the case with most mammals.
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