I never wanted to go on facebook but finally caved into the pressure by friends to set up an account. I created an account and put some pics of myself up. In a moment of stupidity I forgot to make my profile private.
I was greeted by this lovely message today from a person I don’t even know:
You fat cow, you have a huge fat stomach and short stumpy legs. You look like the wicked witch of the west with that big ugly nose of yours and your painted on eyebrows and your sickly looking pasty white skin. Please spare us your ugly pics, even your “friends” don’t want to look at your hideous beast face and oversized fat body with tree trunk legs. You don’t even look Italian, you look like a cross between some retardo and an Asian, no offense to Asians, but you do a huge disgrace to their entire beautiful race.
???I am in tears right now. Let me preface this by saying that I have PPD, three young children and I just had my third child 14 months ago.
I am not fat
I am not asian I’m Italian and don’t look the slightest bit Asian. I have nothing against chinese people but they have very distinctive features. I have very large eyes.
I have natural eyebrows…I get them done professionally at the salon every few months
I have very long legs and a short torso. I wear at 32 inch inseam in jeans and I never have to hem any of my pants. I am 5’5 inches tall.
I have very light skin and have been complimented on it frequently though I do not have the characteristic olive skin tone of Italians.
I’ve never been a witch and never been told I resemble the one from the wizard of oz.
Why would someone say something so mean to another human being?
Great way to start my New Years.
I guess this is more of a rant…thanks for listening. I’ve always had self-esteem issues and this hasn’t helped them one bit.
Take a deep breath and delete the message. It’s probably some sicko who pastes the same message to everyone. Don’t reply, don’t engage and use whatever reporting mechanism that facebook has to report.
That is pretty nasty, but for all the reasons you listed, you already know that they’re wrong. Also, think about how sad, how unspeakably tragic and lonely, that person’s life must be, that they spend their time looking up people they don’t even know on facebook and writing each person a paragraph telling them nasty and untrue things about themselves. You have three lovely children and should not let someone so pathetic make you feel bad about yourself.
Happy new year, Lisalan, with every good wish and hope that by this time next year, you’re confident enough in your own beauty (inside and out) to laugh and blush at the thought of letting some internet drooler affect your thoughts.
I’m sure it was upsetting, but, don’t let the the opinions of an asshole stranger control you to the point where you’re crying and feel the need to debunk their opinion. Why in the world would you give it so much power that it actually affects the way you think about yourself or you allow it to upset you?
Let me put it this way. Let’s say you were walking down the street and a stranger, with no provocation, just punches you in the face" Would you think that meant something about you and your worth as a person? Would you be wondering what you did to deserve it, and then debunking those theories, about why you are a punchable person? No, you’d probably be thinking “what an asshole,” and calling the police. Right? This is just an unprovoked verbal assault. It says nothing about you whatsoever.
Some people just enjoy being mean, there’s nothing you can do about that except ignore it. And, obviously, reset your privacy settings, which I’m sure you have already done.
Thanks so much for all the the kind replies. You guys are wonderful. I guess it is affecting me so much because I don’t have good self esteem. I have been suffering with PPD since my miscarriage in 2006 and my third child was an unplanned pregnancy though I love her more than life itself.
I hope no one holds this against me but I am on 2 kinds of medications to control the PPD.
I am wondering whether this is someone I truly don’t know or whether this is someone I know in disguise trying to hurt me in a major way. I really don’t know.
Oh and I deleted my account on facebook.
I just don’t understand why this person said things like this like the short leg comment when it is so obvious my legs are long or the asian comment when my eyes are very large…that kind of thing. Oh and they managed to insult a whole race in that message.
I’m just a very analytical person and I feel I always need to know the reasons why.
I really really doubt that it’s anyone you know. I’m a guy, take it from me, that’s what we do when we’re that age and have low self-esteem. Girls tend to be inwardly self-hating, guys try to tear other people down. the internet and its increased anonymity have led to the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory. You’re dealing with an Internet Fuckwad. pay him no more mind.
Then perhaps this incident will be a good lesson not just in internet privacy settings, but also in letting things go. You don’t need to know the reasons for everything.
You did the right thing by deleting your account. I had the same kind of experience and after a ‘wtf?’ moment I decided there are much better ways to spend my time.
Forget about this and enjoy those kiddos, they grow up way too fast.
I read something just last week that might help you gain perspective - when people do things that annoy, irritate, or hurt you, it isn’t about YOU. This person doesn’t know you; how could it possibly be about you? It’s only about them, and why they would do a nasty thing for no reason - because they’re nasty people, or simply because they can - and their problems are not your burden to carry.
Sweetie, it doesn’t matter at all what you actually look like.
It doesn’t matter if you have “tree trunk legs” or if you look like Elle McPherson.
Sadly, there are people who are so angry and miserable that the the only way they can feel better is to lash out at strangers — not only on Facebook, but anywhere. Lashing out makes them feel powerful and cool; better than others. They can’t feel that way on their own. They have to find someone to stomp on — anyone — to feel that they’ve raised themselves up a step.
It is their issue, not yours. Unfortunately, it hurts to be the recipient of such an attack. But really, it’s not you at all; it’s a manifestation of the problems of the person who posted such hateful, hurtful words.
It’s not you. It’s not Facebook. It’s just simple, pathetic human misery spilling out across the screen.
Just remind yourself it could be worse, you could look like this.
Others have said what I would have: the person responsible is angry and in pain and it isn’t about you. I feel confident in saying it is not someone who knows you and was a random act of cruelty.
Please don’t allow a sad stranger to continue to ruin your day, do your best to forget about it.
Oh, lisalan, let me tell you it definitely has nothing to do with you. This sad, troubled, mean person is trolling and is just looking to hurt someone. Anyone.
A few years ago, a random troll sent my mom an insulting message on match.com. She was hurt, and confused.
Goodness, what a frightening outburst from some internet stranger. I, too, try to understand things, but this sounds like it is more in the category of a bizarre outburst from a street person who zips into and out of your awareness in seconds, never to be seen again. It seems sad. There could be all sorts of explanations, but in the brief flyby that you actually experience, there’s no way to guess what they are.
But the message lashes out so irrationally, that it doesn’t sound like there is any chance the explanation (whatever it may be) has anything to do with you.
On behalf of all of us strangers floating somewhere out there on the internet, I apologize for this one; I’m sorry there are crazies out there, sorry one went after you, and especially sorry it gave you any worries!
