More Sterling Performance From The TSA

[Steve MB]

From this week's news:

TSA worker 'helped drug dealers evade security checks' at Buffalo Airport

A TSA agent allegedly allowed a suspected 'drug kingpin' to pass through security at Buffalo Airport under an alias so he could buy cannabis.

Minnetta Walker, 43, a behavioural detection officer, is also accused of helping other drugs traffickers evade scans and searches to take cash - but not drugs - through the airport in Western New York.

She was charged yesterday along with Derek Frank, the alleged dealer prosecutors say she worked with....

TSA hit by new scandal as passenger boards plane with THREE boxcutters

A passenger boarded an international flight from New York with three boxcutters in his hand luggage after TSA workers at JFK airport failed to spot the blades.

He walked straight through supposedly ramped-up security with the cutters, which were used as weapons by the 9/11 hijackers.

They were only discovered when they fell out of the passenger's bag as he put his hand luggage into an overhead locker on the Dominican Republic-bound flight, sparking a terror alert. The plane was evacuated....

(Oh, and why is it that I wouldn't have noticed this stuff if I didn't check out the furrin press every so often?)

[runner pat]

Guns were missed, too-several times.

Undercover test this time but still.

[3:20:59 or bust]

These articles are so depressing.

I gotta tell ya, if I get blown out of the sky by some bomb, I sure hope the TSA Agent took more than a $100 bribe to kill me!

I'm going to say anything under 5 G's is an insult to both me and my family. However, if they get five figures to blow me up, well, how can I argue with that?

But I've seen these guys in action...it'll be more like ten bucks and a #3 Value Meal.

[Oakminster]

Originally Posted by 3:20:59 or bust

But I've seen these guys in action...it'll be more like ten bucks and a #3 Value Meal.

Yeah, but the #3 Value Meal is a Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese. Salty beef, melty cheese, hot fries....who could resist that?

[BunnyTVS]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

Yeah, but the #3 Value Meal is a Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese. Salty beef, melty cheese, hot fries....who could resist that?

No bacon - No pass

[Ike Witt]

But everyone 'feels' safer. Right?

[Ispolkom]

Originally Posted by Ike Witt

But everyone 'feels' safer. Right?

Especially when TSA searches passengers debarking from a train. http://beaufort.thedigitel.com/featu...ns--24547-0302

Given the depressing frequency with which law-abiding Americans run their vehicles into trains at grade crossings, it's pointless to search passengers. After all, why carry a bomb on a train when you can stop a truck bomb at a grade crossing and have the train plow into it? And to search people leaving the train. . . the stupid, it hurts!

[AWB]

Originally Posted by Ispolkom

Especially when TSA searches passengers debarking from a train. http://beaufort.thedigitel.com/featu...ns--24547-0302

Once, when flying out of my hometown (pre 9/11), either their security agents hadn't reported to work, or the airport couldn't afford to hire one. So after checking my baggage, I walked past the powered-down metal detector, through glass doors onto the tarmac, and boarded the plane to Denver.

Once on the ground in Denver, though, we had to walk through a metal detector before walking off the tarmac and into a ground-level door at DIA. Pointless for the fact that my fellow passengers and I were unscreened as we flew, but needed since we were now entering a secured area of an international airport.

[markdash]

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

There are a lot of critics of the TSA and their searching/scanning procedures on this board. I'm curious just how much searching would be proper. I would assume scanning passenger luggage for explosives and metal detection would be OK, but that a lot of the patdowns and such is unnecessary. But I'll let you guys speak for yourselves.

[tomndebb]

Originally Posted by Steve MB

(Oh, and why is it that I wouldn't have noticed this stuff if I didn't check out the furrin press every so often?)

Because you don't pay serious attention to the domestic news media? I saw the first story in the Cleveland Plain Dealer four days ago.

ETA: On a quick search, I found the box cutter story with the same date as the Guardian story, on every major U.S. newspaper and internet outlet.

[anya marie]

Because the screening system we have now is fucked up. Because i just went through the screening at two airports, where you can buy everything from M&Ms to laptops once you pass through the gate. I'm sure there are other travelers here with similar stories.

I took my shoes off in Chicago, and emptied my pockets of change, chapstick and an mp3 player in Sarasota. I had to take my sweater off both times, and for what i'm not sure. I had my luggage searched on the return flight and i'm not sure why they opened it just that i got the little tag that said they went through my luggage. I don't want the plane I'm flying on to crash but there's got to be a better way to do this...

I don't know how they grade threats but I'd like to see how i score as a 32 year old, atheist in blue jeans who wears glasses, who seems to look like a librarian to some people.

[CannyDan]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

There are a lot of critics of the TSA and their searching/scanning procedures on this board. I'm curious just how much searching would be proper. I would assume scanning passenger luggage for explosives and metal detection would be OK, but that a lot of the patdowns and such is unnecessary. But I'll let you guys speak for yourselves.

We put all the passengers for a flight, with their luggage and carry-ons, into a closed room. They challenge each other-- "Hey, what you got in that box?" "I'll let you paw through my bag if you show me what's under that thick, lumpy jacket." "I'm not flying anywhere with *that guy* until he strips down to his shorts!"

When everybody is comfortable with everybody else, they get on the airplane.

[shiftless]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

That's a very good and fair question. I am one of those who hates the whole airport screening process, along with the crappiness of air travel these days, so much so that I avoid air travel as much as possible. I'm actually not sure how much of my dislike is for the TSA and how much is for the awfulness that is air travel.

I'd like to dial it back to the days of walk-through metal detectors with some random (truly random) more thorough checks; carry-on items very limited and thoroughly screened. Air marshals on planes, or maybe armed and trained stewards, steel doors limiting access to pilots, a policy that says pilots don't respond to hostage takers.

Some of the checks they do are so obviously a response to the last threat found that it's almost embarrassing for everyone involved. A guy tries to bring in a bomb in his shoe, everyone in America has to have his shoes checked. A guy tries to make a bomb on the plane, everyone in America is restricted to 3 oz bottles. All a bad guy has to do to screw with millions of American is to talk some idiot into walking into an airport with an explosive in his underpants. The knee-jerk reactions really need to stop - they help the bad guys win.

[Bryan Ekers]

Originally Posted by anya marie

as a 32 year old, atheist in blue jeans who wears glasses, who seems to look like a librarian to some people.

How YOU doin' ?

[CannyDan]

Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers

How YOU doin' ?

If we used my system, you'd be able to find out!

Just sayin'......

[Scuba_Ben]

Originally Posted by anya marie

I don't know how they grade threats but I'd like to see how i score as a 32 year old, atheist in blue jeans who wears glasses, who seems to look like a librarian to some people.

Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers

How YOU doin' ?

And Bryan Ekers demonstrates exactly how the WBI/AIT program works. Person that the screener finds attractive? Step into the Nude-O-Scope.

[Wheelz]

Originally Posted by shiftless

I am one of those who hates the whole airport screening process, along with the crappiness of air travel these days, so much so that I avoid air travel as much as possible. I'm actually not sure how much of my dislike is for the TSA and how much is for the awfulness that is air travel.

Eh, maybe I just don't fly enough to find it so "awful," but this seems like an overstatement.

It isn't glamourous or exciting, I'll give you that, but my experience is usually something like: Stand in a couple of lines; put my stuff on a conveyer belt; walk through a metal detector; sit around bored at the gate for a while; and then sit in a somewhat cramped seat for a few hours.

And for that bit of inconvenience, I'm where I wanted to go, relatively quickly and easily. I'll take that over 40-plus hours of driving to Florida and back every time. I guess you have a lower threshold of awfulness.

[The Weird One]

Originally Posted by shiftless

That's a very good and fair question. I am one of those who hates the whole airport screening process, along with the crappiness of air travel these days, so much so that I avoid air travel as much as possible. I'm actually not sure how much of my dislike is for the TSA and how much is for the awfulness that is air travel.

I'd like to dial it back to the days of walk-through metal detectors with some random (truly random) more thorough checks; carry-on items very limited and thoroughly screened. Air marshals on planes, or maybe armed and trained stewards, steel doors limiting access to pilots, a policy that says pilots don't respond to hostage takers.

Some of the checks they do are so obviously a response to the last threat found that it's almost embarrassing for everyone involved. A guy tries to bring in a bomb in his shoe, everyone in America has to have his shoes checked. A guy tries to make a bomb on the plane, everyone in America is restricted to 3 oz bottles. All a bad guy has to do to screw with millions of American is to talk some idiot into walking into an airport with an explosive in his underpants. The knee-jerk reactions really need to stop - they help the bad guys win.

I agree with this post in its entirety. I'm not a security expert, so it's hard for me to say what the TSA should be doing, but it seems to me that some of what they are doing is better at annoying people than at actually catching threats.

Protecting the cockpit is key. All planes should have (if they don't already) bulletproof doors than can be securely locked from the inside. If hijacking the plane isn't an option, the motivation to bring guns, knives, and other anti-personnel weapons is removed. That leaves us with explosives to worry about. Rather than scanners that work visually, we should focus on developing and implementing electronic sniffing machines that detect traces of explosives, as well as illegal drugs. These machines are less invasive than the scanners and can detect a wider range of materials with high accuracy. In addition, they sound an alert when they detect something, rather than relying on a TSA agent to notice something suspicious-looking on a screen.

[rayman5321]

Disembark, not debark.

Originally Posted by AWB

Once, when flying out of my hometown (pre 9/11), either their security agents hadn't reported to work, or the airport couldn't afford to hire one. So after checking my baggage, I walked past the powered-down metal detector, through glass doors onto the tarmac, and boarded the plane to Denver.

Once on the ground in Denver, though, we had to walk through a metal detector before walking off the tarmac and into a ground-level door at DIA. Pointless for the fact that my fellow passengers and I were unscreened as we flew, but needed since we were now entering a secured area of an international airport.

[silenus]

The law should read that every employee of TSA and every Congresscritter have to go through intensive screening, including frisking, scanning and the occasional full cavity search every day before they report to work. Then we'll see how long these stupid regulations last.

[Scuba_Ben]

Weird One, one of the most useful post-9/11 reforms was requiring strengthened cockpit doors. Forcing the door open is now very time-consuming, and leads into...

A major useful change in mindset post-9/11 was a disruption in the paradigm. The paradigm among flight crews and passengers used to be "cooperate and survive to be ransomed / exchanged," now it's "they're probably going to wreck the plane and kill us all, so FIGHT BACK!"

[Ferret Herder]

Originally Posted by anya marie

I took my shoes off in Chicago, and emptied my pockets of change, chapstick and an mp3 player in Sarasota. I had to take my sweater off both times, and for what i'm not sure. I had my luggage searched on the return flight and i'm not sure why they opened it just that i got the little tag that said they went through my luggage. I don't want the plane I'm flying on to crash but there's got to be a better way to do this...

The sweater-off policy is, IIRC, due to a woman in Russia who had some kind of explosives strapped around her waist.

My husband once had his checked bag searched. We didn't mind that one because in addition to the "sorry we searched your bag" slip, the agent had also neatly folded all of my husband's clothing. Not re-folded, but folded - he'd originally packed in a hurry and just kind of stuffed his bag full.

[fumster]

Originally Posted by anya marie

I don't know how they grade threats but I'd like to see how i score as a 32 year old, atheist in blue jeans who wears glasses, who seems to look like a librarian to some people.

How you doin'.

[shiftless]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

Eh, maybe I just don't fly enough to find it so "awful," but this seems like an overstatement.

It isn't glamourous or exciting, I'll give you that, but my experience is usually something like: Stand in a couple of lines; put my stuff on a conveyer belt; walk through a metal detector; sit around bored at the gate for a while; and then sit in a somewhat cramped seat for a few hours.

And for that bit of inconvenience, I'm where I wanted to go, relatively quickly and easily. I'll take that over 40-plus hours of driving to Florida and back every time. I guess you have a lower threshold of awfulness.

I wish it were as quick and easy as you describe, and I guess it can be sometimes. Last time I flew it took over 8 hours to get from New York to DC, airport to airport with not a word of explanation for the airline. Drive time, door-to-door, is something like 5 hours. I do have a low threshold of awfulness though, I know. Still, I wonder at anyone who doesn't mind sitting in a plane for an hour or more with no information about when the thing is going to start. I have a hard time accepting that once I board a plane they own me until released, no matter how long that takes. It makes me claustrophobic. Part of that, to get back on topic, is the threat of being treated like a terrorist if I don't like the situation enough to make a fuss.

[Steve MB]

Originally Posted by CannyDan

We put all the passengers for a flight, with their luggage and carry-ons, into a closed room. They challenge each other-- "Hey, what you got in that box?" "I'll let you paw through my bag if you show me what's under that thick, lumpy jacket." "I'm not flying anywhere with *that guy* until he strips down to his shorts!"

When everybody is comfortable with everybody else, they get on the airplane.

"I read somewhere that they have micro-think explosive sheets that can be molded to line the insides of bras and panties... I'm going to have to insist you take them off...."

[CannyDan]

Originally Posted by Steve MB

"I read somewhere that they have micro-think explosive sheets that can be molded to line the insides of bras and panties... I'm going to have to insist you take them off...."

I thought about simply suggesting that everyone had to fly naked. But then I glanced in the mirror and remembered that there are way too many people who really need to keep their clothes on.

Thus my advocacy for "inspection by challenge". Just in the interests of public safety, you understand.

[The Weird One]

Originally Posted by Scuba_Ben

Weird One, one of the most useful post-9/11 reforms was requiring strengthened cockpit doors. Forcing the door open is now very time-consuming, and leads into...

A major useful change in mindset post-9/11 was a disruption in the paradigm. The paradigm among flight crews and passengers used to be "cooperate and survive to be ransomed / exchanged," now it's "they're probably going to wreck the plane and kill us all, so FIGHT BACK!"

That's good to hear, and also explains why every attempted attack (that I've heard of) since 9/11 was explosives-based rather than hijack-based.

[phouka]

Last time I flew, from San Diego to Seattle, and then Dallas to San Diego, I forgot to check all the pockets of my purse and ended up taking my Swiss Army Knife through security. Twice.

I feel so safe.

[Wheelz]

Originally Posted by shiftless

I wish it were as quick and easy as you describe, and I guess it can be sometimes. Last time I flew it took over 8 hours to get from New York to DC, airport to airport with not a word of explanation for the airline. Drive time, door-to-door, is something like 5 hours. I do have a low threshold of awfulness though, I know. Still, I wonder at anyone who doesn't mind sitting in a plane for an hour or more with no information about when the thing is going to start. I have a hard time accepting that once I board a plane they own me until released, no matter how long that takes. It makes me claustrophobic. Part of that, to get back on topic, is the threat of being treated like a terrorist if I don't like the situation enough to make a fuss.

This does sound pretty awful, I agree. Still, I have to believe that this kind of thing doesn't happen very often. When I've experienced delays, it seems the crews are usually pretty forthcoming about what's going on. YMMV.

Anyhow, this has nothing to do with TSA, and I'm not wading into that quagmire, so I'll be returning my seatback to its full upright position, stowing my tray table, gathering all my personal belongings and exiting the thread now. We know you have a choice of message boards and we thank you for choosing the Straight Dope.

[Projammer]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

As Shiftless stated and others agreed. Walkthru metal detectors and chem sniffers. Anybody wanting to eyeball the boys gets to spring for dinner and a movie first. There are no reported cases of the TSA ever having stopped an attack and they won't say that they have. Personally I'm betting not.

OTOH there are many reported cases where someone has gotten on board with ill intent, and every time the TSA just adds another screening requirement. Shoe bomber? Everyone take off your shoes!

What's going to happen when someone boards with a bit of C4 or Semtex surgically implanted in their abdomen? Laproscopically, it would be a minor procedure. Sorry ma'am. You've been randomly selected for exploratory surgery.

Sealed cockpits are the best solution against hijacking. They just don't support an unending revenue stream.

[fachverwirrt]

Originally Posted by rayman5321

Disembark, not debark.

Believe it or not, sometimes the English language has more than one word for the same concept.

Debark.

[Ravenman]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

It is very simple. If you listen to everyone on the Internet, all anyone wants is a completely effective system of catching people with contraband that causes no inconvenience whatsoever to any traveler.

Also, the system should be run by highly educated professionals who are not only impeccably trained on the machinery, but who are also as suave and personable as Cary Grant in order to make every flier feel like a king.

And they should be volunteers, because nobody likes how much it costs to run the TSA.

Is that so much to ask for? The vast number of security experts on the Internet think it should be pretty easy to do.

[Max Torque]

Originally Posted by Steve MB

"I read somewhere that they have micro-think explosive sheets that can be molded to line the insides of bras and panties... I'm going to have to insist you take them off...."

Rob Schneider, airport security screener, to passenger Sharon Stone: "Arch your back...for more security."

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

There are a lot of critics of the TSA and their searching/scanning procedures on this board. I'm curious just how much searching would be proper. I would assume scanning passenger luggage for explosives and metal detection would be OK, but that a lot of the patdowns and such is unnecessary. But I'll let you guys speak for yourselves.

How about more competence and professionalism and less theft for starters.

[mundylion]

Originally Posted by Ravenman

It is very simple. If you listen to everyone on the Internet, all anyone wants is a completely effective system of catching people with contraband that causes no inconvenience whatsoever to any traveler.

Nonsense. Did anyone in this thread suggest what you are saying? We all know that TSA is largely security theater, not needed to safeguard air travel. But our elected representatives think we need them and they sure provide lots of jobs. So we have them and, what bugs me no end, are all very afraid of them. No one in his right mind dares say anything at all to a TSA agent except, Yes Sir, Yes Ma'am, Thank you Sir, lest you get strip searched and jailed.

If terrorists want to blow up a plane, they will do it. TSA can only catch the stupid ones and that does not need such heavily intrusive screening as they do now. And all intelligent people know that this is true, and also know that the odds of any successful attempt affecting any specific individual are infinitesimal.

We could save more lives in a year by outlawing left turns on our highways but we don't do that, we accept the losses to avoid all the pain. We need the same outlook on air travel.

[Ravenman]

nm

[Moirai]

Originally Posted by Scuba_Ben

Weird One, one of the most useful post-9/11 reforms was requiring strengthened cockpit doors. Forcing the door open is now very time-consuming...

Is the bulkhead "wall" between the lavatory and the cockpit reinforced as well? Cuz it looks pretty flimsy...

My kids are both competitive saber fencers. I've probably told this story before, but due to the high cost of the equipment, we take everything except the sabers themselves in carry on bags (the sabers are in hard plastic golf travel bags). Only ONCE has a screener even batted an eye at seeing a stainless steel mesh face mask and a stainless steel conductive jacket with wires coming out all over the place. I even said one time, "Wow, you must know fencing!". Blank look- she hadn't noticed that was in the bag as it went through the X-ray.

[anya marie]

I'm ok

Having flown recently, i just have questions... So, I packed my luggage and came in just under the 50 pound limit, and had a bunch of random stuff of mine squished in together, a suit, a gown, photo albums, cross-stitch projects, souvenirs, CD wallet, yearbook... plus the usual toiletries and clothes. Did my luggage fulfill some randomness requirement?

[HookerChemical]

Originally Posted by markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is "appropriate"?

This is a question I'm not sure the TSA has asked themselves. Their procedures area almost always geared to catch yesterdays threat, no matter the inconvenience, intrusion, threat, or effectiveness. This results in lots of procedures that are a tiny bit effective and a lot invasive.

[aruvqan]

I would be down with a chemicals sniffer, and I am OK with being wanded, or if they can come up with totally wooden crutches walking through the metal detector.

I really do not like the fact that others can go through the pornoscan and I have to get groped. I really do not like being touched, frequently I am in enough background pain that even the light bouncing of someone else pushing a wheelchair with me in it is excruciating, so being poked and prodded is annoyingly painful.

Christ on a pogo stick. I have had multiple security clearances for 30+ fucking years. I have had the FBI do everything except crawl up my ass, I really doubt that I am any sort of security problem. I would love to have some sort of damned card so I can avoid the whole mess.

[Uzi]

Originally Posted by The Weird One

Rather than scanners that work visually, we should focus on developing and implementing electronic sniffing machines that detect traces of explosives, as well as illegal drugs.

Why drugs? If you were to travel by car the cops would have to have a reason to pull you over to search you and a warrant to search your car. What makes travel by plane an opportunity for them to start violating your rights? Why not scanners at random places on the sidewalk for that matter? You okay with that? A person with drugs on them is safety neutral to my well being as a fellow passenger.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Originally Posted by BunnyTVS

No bacon - No pass

The bacon requirement keeps away Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist and Jain religious fanatics. Baptists are still a problem.

Originally Posted by Projammer

What's going to happen when someone boards with a bit of C4 or Semtex surgically implanted in their abdomen? Laproscopically, it would be a minor procedure. Sorry ma'am. You've been randomly selected for exploratory surgery.

Can you take out my gallbladder while you're in there?

[Odesio]

Originally Posted by fachverwirrt

Believe it or not, sometimes the English language has more than one word for the same concept.

Debark.

It's true what they say. Sometimes debark is worse than the bite.

[drachillix]

Originally Posted by The Weird One

That leaves us with explosives to worry about. Rather than scanners that work visually, we should focus on developing and implementing electronic sniffing machines that detect traces of explosives, as well as illegal drugs.

Like these hot selling items

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651

[Moirai]

Originally Posted by aruvqan

I would love to have some sort of damned card so I can avoid the whole mess.

Posting from a mobile device so it's a PITA to link, but there is indeed a process by which you can do exactly that. We looked at it because we travel a ton, both domestically & internationally, but the lower age limit or the program is 16 and our kids are 9 & 11, so we'll wait.

[Moonlitherial]

The program you're talking about is Nexus It only works for Can/US right now but that's enough for me! Hubby and I are starting the process.

[Spoons]

Originally Posted by Moonlitherial

The program you're talking about is Nexus It only works for Can/US right now but that's enough for me! Hubby and I are starting the process.

Doesn't the Nexus card just make crossing the US-Canada border faster and easier? I don't think it allows one to avoid the TSA screening, as I believe aruvqan means.

[Ferret Herder]

Originally Posted by Uzi

Why drugs? If you were to travel by car the cops would have to have a reason to pull you over to search you and a warrant to search your car. What makes travel by plane an opportunity for them to start violating your rights? Why not scanners at random places on the sidewalk for that matter? You okay with that? A person with drugs on them is safety neutral to my well being as a fellow passenger.

They already check for drugs, especially if you're traveling internationally. Same deal with transporting large sums of cash.

[Moonlitherial]

Originally Posted by Spoons

Doesn't the Nexus card just make crossing the US-Canada border faster and easier? I don't think it allows one to avoid the TSA screening, as I believe aruvqan means.

I thought there was also separate TSA lines and part of the value of the upfront security checks and interviews was faster clearance on each trip.


Aha! Found it

As of April 12th 2010, NEXUS members may use a new "NEXUS Priority Lane" for pre-boarding security screening for domestic and some international flights (excluding flights to the United States) at the Macdonald-Cartier International Airport located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and at Terminal 1 at the Pearson International Airport in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and for domestic flights at Pierre Elliott Trudeau Airport in Montréal, Quebec, Canada.

The priority security screening lane is part of a pilot project implemented by the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) in partnership with Transport Canada and the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA).

To benefit from this service, present your valid NEXUS membership card and boarding pass to the security screening officer at the designated screening checkpoint. If you do not have your membership card with you, you must use the regular screening lanes. Lanes will be clearly identified.

All passengers, including those accessing the NEXUS Priority Lane, are required to comply with CATSA screening requirements.

In the future, the CBSA and CATSA will consider additional airports and trusted traveller programs for the priority lanes. For further information on this pilot project and for information on any changes to the pilot, please visit the CBSA and CATSA Web sites through the links at the end of this message.

[margin]

When my unit came back from Iraq, we stopped briefly at Baltimore International Airport, which at the time closed up at some ludicrous early hour. We left our weapons behind on the plane----M16s, .249s, sidearms, you name it. That was the most heavily armed plane in the world at the moment. A colonel on board demonstrated leadership by ordering a bunch of light colonels to guard the weapons and let the lower ranks off the plane. We got to wander around for about a half an hour, then headed back to the plane.

The TSA made us take off our boots, our belts, and our overblouses. Why? Because there were Al Qaeda agents lurking in Baltmore amongst the cleaning staff, on the off chance that he'd be able to turn a soldier to the other side in a half an hour. Or maybe they were terrified we'd picked up....nail clippers.....or something else fearsome to take back to that plane full of guns.

Judging by the smirk on the lead asshole's face, I kind of doubt it. And that was before I got through and saw them trying to pull aside the only black member in the company---a citizen of more than thirty years' standing, a member of the military for nearly as long. Yeah.

So, what exactly are the TSA providing us with? It's the passengers doing all the terrorist catching. Why don't we just have the fucking TSA screen the luggage and hand out free champagne in line to the passengers? Get everybody nice and relaxed and if somebody tries something, the passengers can use the booze bottles to subdue him.

But, seriously, have they ever caught <i>anybody?</i>