What food you would expect at a casual summer wedding?

My wedding isn’t until June of next year, but my mother is already wanting to start talking menus. We seem to disagree on what would be appropriate, given both the time/date/location of the wedding, the tone, and just who we are as a couple. We’re having an outdoor ceremony, at a small local park in our hometown, and then the reception hall is in a chamber center on the historic town square. Nothing will start until about 6pm, when the sun is just about to set, and everything will be casual. We’re not a really uppity couple, we like to hang out and have fun, but given the option of staying in and watching a movie or going out we would pick staying in every time. We’re down to earth.

So here is what my mother would like to have:

Italian salad
Shrimp and crab fettuccine alfredo
The wedding cake.

This is what I and my fiance so far think would be nice:

A garden salad with a large toppings bar (we have vegetarian friends we would like to not make feel left out)
Barbeque buffet from our favorite place
A large cold fruit bar
Assorted fruity drinks bar (we’re not having alcohol, so like lemonade, fruity teas, etc)
And cake
So what do you think? If we had what we would like, would you like it? Does this seem appropriate? What foods would you expect at a casual summer wedding? I’m kinda lost about how things should be done, but I do know that I want to feel at home during this. I don’t want to put on a show for people, I want to be me, and being me means feeling comfortable. Any advice would be much appreciated :slight_smile:

Where do you live? In most places in North America, the sun isn’t setting until 8:30 in June…

Personally, as an ex-caterer, I think your mother is whacked. For starters, any decent alfredo sauce is made a la minute - to be served immediately before the sauce breaks. Alfredo for the masses is an abomination and is usually thick and pasty; not something you would want to serve to a group. And hot seafood for a group with a dairy-based sauce in the summer? No way.

It is your wedding. Do what you want and do not bend. If you want BBQ, make BBQ.

For summer weddings, I have catered everything from a full, pit-buried roast pig (luau) to a Sardinian feast. Make it yours or else you won’t be happy.

Your menu sounds delicious. I would go wih that. You know yourselves and your friends best. Also, as much as I love alfredo, it sounds heavy for summer.

This this this a thousand times this.

Your menu is way more appropriate to both the weather and the vagaries of catering food safety.

I have been to a pig roast reception, and I’ve also been to one where it was catered by a local favorite restaurant (Mexican), and they were both wonderful. The food was divine!

Good lord, yes! What is your mother thinking?

BBQ would be lovely, and quite in line with my expectations. As would Mexican, a pig roast (but those need to be started way earlier than you’d expect!) or even “Sunday picnic” foods like fried chicken.

(You’re not being a Bridezilla about this. I promise.)

Not to mention that the “Seafood” in that alfredo sauce is probably the fake sort.

OTOH a BBQ buffet brings up images of things like corn on the cob, and sauce-dripping ribs. If you’re talking pulled-pork BBQ then great, go fo rit. But even a ta casual wedding folks will wear their “Best” casual, and you don’t want them going hungry to prevent stains.

The pig roast sounds wonderful, but a bit much to expect vegetarians to sit around with an animal actually still in it’s skin being roasted. Most vegetarians can keep to themselves when other people eat meat, but it’s much harder when they can see the face of the animal.

Pulled pork, pulled chicken, hush puppies. . . can I come? :wink:

I’m not so sure. If they have ethical problems with other people eating animals, it’s nonsensical for those ethical problems to be more severe when the animal is cooked whole. If they have aesthetic problems with seeing a whole pig, they’re welcome to look the other way: it’s wholly inappropriate for a wedding guest to get offended about aesthetic issues. I say this as a former vegetarian who attended whole-pig cookouts without problem.

However, having a salad probably won’t suffice to keep the vegetarians from feeling left out: for festive occasions, something hot and savory and proteiny is a traditional staple for the meal. Would there be something you could offer vegetarians, say, some grilled portobellos or even mac & cheese, that could take the protein spot in the meal?

It just occurred to me: is it possible that the alfredo thing is some fantasy of your mom’s? Like, she’s always dreamed of your wedding day and pictured herself eating seafood alfredo at your reception? If so, you may have to tread carefully. Plan the rehearsal dinner at a nice Italian restaurant or something.

Guys, I don’t think** Meagan** said anything about a pig roast. I think that just came up as one kind of summer wedding that someone did.
Just sayin’

Meagan, I think the salad idea is lovely. Not to heavy for the time of year, and you and your friends would be comfortable with it. I do think, as was mentioned, that it needs to have some semblance of, or choices that make, a meal.

I had a casual summer wedding too. Our menu was basically yours, with BBQ pork, BBQ chicken, brats, corn on the cob, fruit salad, salad salad, pasta salad, and potato salad. Though most people won’t come up to the bride and say, “The food sucks,” we heard nothing but good things. I think what you have in mind is totally appropriate and will be appreciated by folks.

I think my dad didn’t know what to make of my wedding, as it wasn’t super typical (bearing in mind that this is the internet/Lake Woebegone, where everyone’s wedding is magically perfect, cost $200, and no one is confined by tradition). But we did it, he saw how happy we were, saw what a good time everyone else was having, and he loved it too. I hope your mom is the same way.

We were married in late August, on almost the hottest day of the year, and a barbecue buffet (with the rest of your menu) would have been absolutely perfect. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have gone with that (I recently learned that our favourite bbq restaurant* caters events - I would have talked with them and that would have been it).

*Big T’s on Crowchild Trail across from McMahon Stadium for Calgary Dopers. Try the deep fried pickles! :slight_smile:

Your menu sounds great. Your mother’s, not so tasty. Sorry. I think your menu sounds fresh, tasty, easy to choose what you like from, and outdoorsy. Great!

Yep, it’s not til 8pm, sorry about the typo :smack:

See, that’s what I was thinking. I know I personally feel sick to my stomach if I eat a heavy meal after a hot day. The two just don’t sit well with me.

Actually, my grandparents are coming up from New Orleans, so if we did decide to go with anything seafood, they would be bringing it up in coolers. They usually do when they visit anyway, because what they can get down there is cheaper and always of better quality.
Absolutely it will be pulled pork style. I’m not a huge fan of ribs, and I just know there would be an accident!
I would never think of having the whole animal and inviting my vegetarian friends, I would imagine that would be insulting.

Never said I was having a whole pig roast, to be honest that would probably make me a little queasy too! But you have definitely made a good point here, we should probably include something heavier for them too. Thanks!

I have no idea. I’m the only girl, so there’s alot of treading carefully going on. We’ve already clashed a couple times already, but I really want to enjoy the day, not be annoyed about something that I did just to make her happy! She’s been married four times, my fiance says she’s had enough wedding days, she can let me have this one. :stuck_out_tongue:

Right, no whole animal in the plan for me! Thanks, I’m trying to think of stuff that would be light and would go with summer-time, and not make people sick.

I appreciate the advice everyone!!

We did a casual summer wedding. The menu was:

Pulled pork BBQ
Fried catfish
Fried okra
Macaroni and cheese
Fruit salad
Cake

We thought about including an unfried vegetable, maybe cole slaw or broccoli salad, then thought “screw it, nobody at a party wants roughage.”

I would have.

I agree that many vegetarians will want more than just the green salad bar, but I think plenty of veg and non-veg guests will appreciate having the salads.

This. I love barbecue, but most of it is very, very messy, and grease and tomato stains are hard to deal with, even on fabrics that are easy to care for.

Nanny Ogg says that you can’t go wrong with ham rolls, and mostly, I agree. Tiny sandwiches of ham and turkey and possibly some sort of veggie rolls, that can be eaten in two or three bits, would go great with your other foods. I know that not everyone likes ham, and there’s also the issue of people who won’t eat ham for religious reasons, and besides, turkey sandwiches are also delicious.

What you are suggesting is actually exactly what popped into my head when I read the title of this thread! I think it sounds lovely and would enjoy it very much.

I also have to say, any type of pasta in a buffet is going to be disgusting by the time the fourth person gets to it. Poor Mr. 27th in line is going to be confronted with a nasty, sticky, goopy blob of pasta grossness by the time he makes it up there. Work with your mother on the menu if you want, but I think you really must veto any sort of pasta. Ugh.

I’ve been there! The catfish is awesome as well, but the cooks/chefs don’t know that bacon is meat.

Me, too! I was a flower girl at a casual summer wedding (so over 35 years ago) and I still remember how fun it was, how happy and relaxed everyone was, and how good the food was. They had chicken and baked beans and salads, watermelon and wedding cake. Your menu sounds perfect to me.

We went to a wedding in barn last month. BBQ all the way :slight_smile: