Tell me about giving up your dreams for a soul-crushing office job

[Rex Goliath]

My dream is to open a restaurant. I've worked in kitchens for seven years, and really enjoy the work. I get to create meaningful, healthy meals for people that really enjoy it. I get to eat exactly how I want, every meal of the day, and come home with the pride that I worked for my income.

Unfortunately, I'm only 25 and already showing signs of arthritis in my fingers. I can't remember the last time I didn't hurt a little bit. This job is hell on my body, and I really don't want to be sixty years old and barely able to stand from the constant exertion. If you've been in the business ten or fifteen years, it shows. People hurt.

So I'm thinking about going back to school and getting a degree in Statistics. Yes, I've read statsman's thread, and suffice to say there's no way in hell I'm getting a PhD. But this means I'm going to have to work in an office, having to deal with schoolyard bullshit like "Johnny ate my lunch!", awkward "professionalism", and crying to HR with all your precious documentation every time someone talks too much. Just...fuck, that sounds awful.

But it's good money, a reliable schedule, and the occasional time off, even. Right now, I don't even get a break. So tell me about it. Does office work suck? Do you sit at your desk and always wonder about what could have been, or was it a good call?

[StGermain]

Hmmm...my dream was to train seeing eye dogs. I started working corporate jobs in college, as a credit rep for a department store. I'm still working corporate jobs, have a steady paycheck, good insurance, own my farm and have 6 dogs and 4 horses. It's an okay trade off. sometimes I hate my job, but most of the time I suck it up to pay for the rest of my life.

StG

[Freddy the Pig]

Originally Posted by Rex Goliath

But it's good money, a reliable schedule, and the occasional time off, even. Right now, I don't even get a break. So tell me about it. Does office work suck? Do you sit at your desk and always wonder about what could have been, or was it a good call?

Yeah, it sucks, although (for me) not for the reasons you listed. The interpersonal conflicts aren't that bad, and when they are, things resolve because people move around so much. It sucks just in the sense that you're going to the same place and doing pretty much the same thing 230 days out of every year, and that gets old after 20 or 30 years.

But yeah, it was still a good call. For me, anyway. There's no way I could make anywhere near as much money as I make here, doing anything else.

[Furious_Marmot]

It's not a satisfying answer, but, it depends. Some office jobs are a blast, some are exactly the juvenile shit you mention. Most companies of any size have otherwise identical positions with both of those situations. The thing is, you probably can't tell from the outside. Upper management can have their heads up their asses, but if your coworkers and supervisors are not jerks, then it will be fine. Assuming that you aren't a jerk either.

IMHO, the worst offenders, for tolerating entrenched crazy behavior are government jobs and the the worst for clique-ish highschool crap are tech and sales jobs.

Is it worth it? Damn straight! I had a series of health-ruining jobs, while dreaming of one day using my degree to work in the great outdoors screwing around with rocks. Now that I work in an office, I can afford to see whatever piece of the outdoors I want when I go on vacation. Also, as a friend once said "My TV broke, so I just went and bought another one. Holy shit I can do that every week." Maybe if you are already rich, the money is not a big consideration, but Hawaii...damn.

Edit. accidentally had a post from a different thread stuck to the beginning.

[Cat Whisperer]

I must regretfully inform you that office work isn't going to fix your health problems - it will likely give you more. Repetitive stress injuries from office work involve the wrists, elbows, shoulders, backs, and hips from the repetitive nature of the work and the stress of sitting in the same position (which is extremely likely to not be at an ergonomically healthy desk). You will also have eye strain and headaches from the monitors, and from resisting the intense desire to kill co-workers and bosses on a regular basis. You might also have ulcers from that strain.

[otternell]

Cat Whisperer forgot to mention all the injuries your tongue will sustain as you bite it to keep yourself from telling your boss what you really think. But to be fair, you probably already have a set of those injuries too!

I go through phases where I hate my job, but it pays well and sustains my hobbies. I try to keep that part of it in mind when I'm in a bad phase.

[YaraMateo]

I LOVE my field, but dislike my job. I'm often bored and plotting how to move onto the aspect I like of the field, to a higher paying job, or what I still need to do open my own business. Working in a good area, living in a great area, and being able to afford designer products makes it worth it for the time I still have left.

While some companies are just basically high school redux, I'd really look at the person interviewing you. Are they firm? I think that's where my problem was in not liking my former job. The owners were two wet noodles when it came to implementing anything and firing the dead weight. While they are ways to avoid people who are micro managers, you can't escape the ills of bad (too little) management.

[Elret]

I regret it every day, but I got sucked in by the pay, security, benefits, and hours and am not currently in a position to give any of those up. I hope to someday, but right now I wish I'd stuck with my heart's desire when I was in a more flexible time in my life.

[Hello Again]

In 2006 I was writing professionally about science fiction for a certain bookstore chain now in bankruptcy, and had dinner with Terry Pratchett and Neal Stephenson in the same week. I got sick of being worked to death, the crap pay, and the shitty attitude of management.

In 2007 I was working on a horse farm in the foothills of Shenandoah. I got sick of working with psycho animals and the horses they owned. I would lie awake thinking about how if that kick had landed 4 inches lower, I would never walk again. I was too poor to run the heat above 55F in my house. No vacation or sick time. (feverish? get up and feed the horses. Limping? get up and feed the horses)

Today, I'm a government attorney. My work is varied and interesting. The upsides are many: Plenty of money to do whatever I want (my needs are fairly modest). At 5pm I GTFO. I have lovely coworkers and no more than the usual complement of job-related bullshit. Three weeks vacation a year, plus 14 paid holidays. Free continuing legal education credits.

I'm glad I had those other experiences, and I'm glad I'm done having them.

[moejoe]

I have my 'dream job" but the pay is crap and I have all the same bad manager-whiny coworker problems that other people complain about in the corporate world.

Even if you're doing what you always wanted to do, you still have to do it in the real world. I'd gladly sell out if I could find a way to do it.

[EvilTOJ]

I loathe my office job with so much hate you have no idea. It's slow, tedious and boring. They're trying to combine our office with another office, and they're dragging their feet about it.

The money is awesome though. I'm quitting in 4 years when all my bills are paid off and the child support isn't taken out of my pay anymore. So I see it as a means to an end, nothing more.

[Thudlow Boink]

What is an "office job," anyway? The term seems awfully broad and general, and it doesn't really say anything about what you do—only about where you do it.

Though I've personally never had a real office job, I can imagine myself liking or hating that kind of job, depending on what kind of work it actually entailed. And of course, a lot depends on the people you work with and for.

[gwendee]

My dream was my own business - retail picture framing. I have a shop. I'm a damned good framer. I love my clients. My shop's in a great neighborhood, in a community that really supports the idea of independent businesses.

I would lock the door right this minute and never look back if someone walked in here and offered me a stultifyingly boring job with predictable hours, pay and benefits.

Owning a business is killing me. The economy has pulled the rug out from under me. I don't own anything. I have no savings. Like yours my work has taken a toll on my body. Hands, feet and lower back, especially. Last Wednesday, when I was feeling sort of optimistic and on top of things the HVAC system upstairs went south and water started pouring into my work area through a light fixture. If I worked in a souless corporation and it started raining on my desk I'd call maintenance and go work in the conference room.

I don't want to rain on your parade. If owning a restaurant is your dream, pursue it. Just make sure your dream is fully funded, with a larger cushion than you think you'll need.

For me, my only hope is that my son will land a high paying soul crushing job and let me live over his garage when I'm old.

[raspberry hunter]

My dream was to be a professor, but I had to give this up because I didn't feel like thinking about science all the time. I had another dream, to be a musician, but for that you really should have more people skills than I have or want to develop.

So I took the office job. It wasn't even my dream office job -- it has good pay and great benefits and is really employee friendly, but even when I took the job I didn't think the work sounded horribly interesting, although it sounded perfectly adequately interesting. And... I look around at my friends, who tried to live their dreams, and... I'm thinking I got the best of the bargain.

I usually worked 40 hrs/week, and when I asked to cut down to 30 when I had my baby, they said, "Sure!" and I have plenty of time to spend with her (well, okay, fine, except when things are crazy, as happens once in a while). My friends have either decided their supposedly dream job wasn't for them after all, or (in the rare case where they really were a good match for their dream job) they're working 80 hr workweeks with no time for anything else.

[Cat Whisperer]

I actually enjoy parts of my office work, too. I usually work in accounting, and when I get a complicated problem to figure out, I'm dangerously close to happy. Plus, working in offices you can usually listen to music all day, in pleasant surroundings, while you do tedious but not onerous duties. It's not all bad. But it does hurt your body in time (I've been working in offices for about 15 years now).

[suranyi]

At one time I thought I might be a college professor, but that dream died a long time ago.

However, as it happens I really like the office job I have right now. I'm a software engineer/computer programmer. The work is interesting, my colleagues are great people, and I get paid well. Fortunately, I've had very little of the problems the OP is worried about.

[Icarus]

Wanted to be an Actor (yeah, yeah, I've heard them all) didn't get traction on a career, worked at a bank while chasing the dream. Learned I had a knack for PC systems.

Eventually decided that as long as I was going to work for a living it might as well be in the "industry", so I got a job in HR at a movie studio. Brought my knowledge of PC systems into the office and I was a star! Eventually I was in charge of HR systems. Left the studio to be a consultant in the software I was working with. Lots of traveling, new projects/locations every 6-8-12-14 months. The money is nice, I don't have to worry about money.

I don't really have the "office job" with all the attendant nonsense (thankfully). If any of the people I work with are a challenge - so what! I do what I do and then leave in a few months.

But...........and it's a big but........I'm stuck. I can't get off the road, can't get a comparable job "at home" (there is too big a gap in what I'm paid vs what I could get). Much of life has passed me by because I am not home to enjoy it. I fear that by the time I can finally dump this lifestyle, I'll be too old and physically incapable of doing what I want! Yay for me!

So, the message is that "soul crushing" can take on many forms, some very unexpected.

Oh, I did want to mention - when I was back in a normal office I found I really did not get into being in charge. If that's you, it really limits your options...... If you do like being in charge, then go for it!

[typoink]

I'm young enough (27) to have not given up my dreams, but I've been working in office jobs for five years and definitely know a little about soul-crushing.

For the first three, I was working in a small, friendly office mostly doing IT and gofer work. It was very pleasant, and I had enough downtime and variety to keep myself stimulated and cheerful. But...the pay wasn't enough and, being a small office, there was nowhere up to go.

Two years ago, I started doing customer service and tech support at a national telecom company. Saying I've hated every minute of it would be a slight exaggeration -- there's usually one or two "good days" every month. The work isn't bad (per se) and the people aren't bad (per se), but I spend nine hours daily being as bored as I can imagine being. I'm kept precisely busy enough that I can't actually think, yet it's purely repetitive, unchanging work. I leave every day feeling like I've accomplished nothing and learned nothing. I had hopes of climbing the ladder to something engaging, but it's increasingly clear that any job here that isn't mind-numbingly dull is a solid ten years (and probably an MBA) away.

Unfortunately, it pays better than almost anything else I'm qualified for, and my wife lost her job so our finances are too tight to take a paycut to shift to more interesting / rewarding / challenging work.

I'm hardly one to complain about having a decent-paying, relatively comfortable job during a terrible economy. But, well, I sure ain't happy. In the past six months, I've dealt with major depression, insomnia, self-loathing, and suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life.

Ironically, I tried to seek professional therapy but, after five phone calls, my company's "don't kill yourself!" hotline still hasn't provided the only local therapist they support with the info needed to schedule an appointment. I gave up and bought some self-therapy books from a Borders store-closing clearance.

I'm hopeful I'll find better work soon (my wife finally got a job, so I can afford a little pay hit now). If I genuinely believed I'd still be here eighteen months from now, I don't know how I'd get through the day.

Mileage may vary -- I have happy coworkers! Just...know yourself, and know what your brain needs.

[Rand Rover]

Originally Posted by Rex Goliath

My dream is to open a restaurant. I've worked in kitchens for seven years, and really enjoy the work. I get to create meaningful, healthy meals for people that really enjoy it. I get to eat exactly how I want, every meal of the day, and come home with the pride that I worked for my income.

Unfortunately, I'm only 25 and already showing signs of arthritis in my fingers. I can't remember the last time I didn't hurt a little bit. This job is hell on my body, and I really don't want to be sixty years old and barely able to stand from the constant exertion. If you've been in the business ten or fifteen years, it shows. People hurt.

So I'm thinking about going back to school and getting a degree in Statistics. Yes, I've read statsman's thread, and suffice to say there's no way in hell I'm getting a PhD. But this means I'm going to have to work in an office, having to deal with schoolyard bullshit like "Johnny ate my lunch!", awkward "professionalism", and crying to HR with all your precious documentation every time someone talks too much. Just...fuck, that sounds awful.

But it's good money, a reliable schedule, and the occasional time off, even. Right now, I don't even get a break. So tell me about it. Does office work suck? Do you sit at your desk and always wonder about what could have been, or was it a good call?

Surely there's something you can do to lessen the strain on your body of working in a kitchen. Maybe talk to a doctor.

[Cyberhwk]

At this point my dream IS a soul-crushing office job.

[DellieM]

I have always done office/administration. I spent 17 years as an electorate officer with various members of parliament helping constituents as well as front counter reception etc. The money was amazing but I was unfulfilled. So I did a degree part time and graduated with a Human Resources degree to pursue my dream of mentoring and helping a dedicated workforce in private enterprise. That was 14 months ago. Let me tell you what happened. I got a job with a local transport company as their HR Manager. The day I started I closed 2 depots and sacked 27 people. In September of last year, I was flown to Brisbane to do 'perfomance reviews' and management rang me as I was entering the depot to tell me I was actually there to sack the staff and close that depot. I watch dickheads take stupid risks with driver fatigue and the yardies take unnecessary risks on forklifts. The money is okay, when we get paid. You see the Queensland and Victorian floods wiped out most of the company's key accounts. So we all took pay cuts. And the parent company folded last Tuesday and I found out that all my superannuation payments have actually never been paid, so as a 41 year old woman, I've lost an entire year of super (about $6000) and all the compounded interest. I sit in an relocateably office (approximately 10 x 10 feet) alone all day and go entire days without any human contact. Yeah, it's soul-crushing. BUT today I had an interview for a position with the local Aboriginal Health Services which would see me being a mentor and guiding hand for local projects with a view to great outcomes for Aboriginal health. Am I excited - yes. Is the money good? I forgot to ask about it. I find out tomorrow. FWIW - my dream is to become and independent publisher, but I think that might have to wait for retirement.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Cyberhwk

At this point my dream IS a soul-crushing office job.

You and a billion people in India, pal!

The OP should try farming. Or working in a factory in China making iPads or whatever iShit is coming down the pipe next. I have a feeling that would change his perspective on "soul-crushing office jobs".

[Tarwater]

The OP should try farming.

I worked 12-hours shifts at a lumber-mill. I figuratively broke my back, working outside when it was snowing and ten degrees out, and for awhile, during the summer, when it was regularly in the '90s. Each day, I took fifteen minutes for lunch, eating it from a brown paper-bag in a room that was no larger than a walk-in closet, that had once been a small utility shed. It was located in the middle of the planing equipment. It was the only room in which I could take my safety head-phones off, but with the machinery running, it still sounded like a freight train was passing just beyond the doors. I went through a pair of these gloves each and every shift. I wore through the rubber coating and the knitting until my fingers were bare. It took me a month and dozens of gloves before I found a pair that was could withstand the work and still allowed for a minimum-level of dexterity. I came home bruised and aching with sap in my hair and my clothing covered in a fine layer of sawdust. The sawdust was all greasy with the exhaust of the machinery, too. Impossible to get out of your clothes. God, just awful.

I worked on a farm. I worked as a ranch-hand. Same complaints as the lumber-mill job, basically, that it was physically punishing and often uncomfortable.

And I worked in an office, too. Doing basic administrative stuff, paperwork. If my body could stand it, I would choose to work at the lumber-mill, and it's an easy decision to make. The agonizing boredom of working in an office is unbearable for me. It is soul-crushing. There's something supremely estranging and inhuman about an office environment. I've never felt less fulfilled as a person than when I was working in one.

Not that building iPads would be any better. I imagine it'd have the same problems inherent to office-work, the repetition and boredom. But farming, yes please. I'd take that.

[Poysyn]

I was also in line to pursue acting. For years, that was my dream.

I don't regret not pursuing it, I do enjoy my job a lot and am good at it, but I still have dreams...they're just different.

An office job doesn't have to be soul-crushing - you just need to find one that fits.

[lexi]

For some people it is better they don't work at their dream job, so their dream - whether it be acting, music, art, or cooking is a fun and enjoyable hobby.

Nothing is worse than a passion being turned into a soul crushing hell!

[bump]

Out of a 11 year IT career, I've had 4 real jobs of about 3 years each.

In my experience, what seems to make the difference is the management outlook. The managers who think about managing people are the ones you want, and the ones who think about managing projects instead of people are the ones you do not want. It may sound silly, but the different focuses describe wildly different approaches to work, tasks and management.

The people managers realize and recognize that people are the real assets that the company has, and that happy people work better, harder and longer than unhappy ones. They also recognize that people require variety, work-life balance, and respect. Their approach is one of nurturing and developing talent who can solve the problems and work the projects themselves. They're usually the ones who want you to develop your skills, work on side projects, etc...

The "project" managers view the project as the important thing, and tend to think of people as "resources", who are more or less interchangeable within a particular skill set. As you can imagine, this is fairly soul crushing, because you're just a cog in a machine who does a task, not a person who has unique experience and opinions.

[Rex Goliath]

Hey guys, just popping in to say this has been a tremendous read. I love reading the responses. I've decided that, for the time being, I'm going to get my Sommelier's Certification and transfer back to working in the Front of House, hopefully somewhere really nice. If I go back to school, at least I'll be able to afford it!

[Becky2844]

I've tried several times to be "cubed," but I just can't do it. I try to be good (responsible, steady pay check et al) but at some point I just want to go by McDonald's & head out to the beach, so I quit. So far, no cure.

[Cunctator]

Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig

But yeah, it was still a good call. For me, anyway. There's no way I could make anywhere near as much money as I make here, doing anything else.

Exactly. I make heaps of money from my usually interesting/occasionally boring office job. That then allows me to enjoy my hobbies in my spare time. Best of both worlds really.