The job has gone. The house has sold. The girlfriend has moved back to Italy. I have got rid of 95% of my material possessions. Got a bit of money in the bank.
So I’ve made a big decision. I’m heading off into the wild blue yonder, alone.
In September I’m going to live on a remote hillside somewhere in Asia and deliberately spend a minimum of six months alone and offline, to see just what I can really achieve creatively when I don’t have a social life, nor an online life, nor any other of the thousand and one other distractions that I currently use to distract myself from my chattering ADHD brain.
I have no dependents, and the cat has a new (temporary) home. It’s probably the last chance I’ll get to do this in my life. It’s scary, but it’s also exciting.
Definitely keep a journal, and maybe a sketchbook?
And be careful of what hillside you choose - it’s probably a good idea to avoid hills in Pakistan or Afghanistan these days. Be safe and come back to us with stories and insights and stuff!
Have you got the visa stuff all worked out? Obviously it depends on which country you are going to, but you could not come to Indonesia, for example, and stay legally for 6 months, unless you made proper arrangements in advance to have a sponsor and a particular type of visa. If you came in on a tourist visa and exited 6 months later there would be big fines to pay.
Perhaps I inadvertently exaggerated the basicness of my proposition. I will be living in a house/bungalow or something, and I will be within an hour’s walking distance of a village where I can get provisions. I’ll be checking my email and keeping in touch with my girlfriend and family once a week. And once a month I’ll have two or three days’ R&R where I drink beer, eat nice food, check Facebook, maybe even go on the SDMB. I’ll also have a local cellphone for emergencies.
But while I exaggerated the basicness of the proposition, I underplayed the solitude aspect.
I’m a massive extravert, in the psychological sense of the word. I’ve never ever felt comfortable or happy alone. All my life I have sought out and required company - friendships or relationships. I’m the eldest of four children of very close ages, and have always been loud and boisterous and surrounded by family and friends and noise, and I love it. I hate being single and have been a serial monogamist (to quote Four Weddings and Funeral) all my adult life. I am like a personality vampire.
Therefore the most frightening thing for me in my life has always been the thought being alone. This the first time I’ve ever actively sought solitude - both to be creative and also to face my deepest fear. I hope it’ll do me good.
Have you seen a phycatrist? You will bore your self silly in about a week and have a phycotic episode in three. Especially an extrovert like you.
I am a certified introvert and I tried something similar; in the Himalayas a few years back (ok not as drastic as yours) and I hated it.
If you need to I dunno; unplug, leave the rat race, get in touch with some side of yours; travel. Get of the beaten track, explore places and as a Brit, you have that oppurtunity without having to get visas for many places.
Being stuck up a hillside for months on end is a bg don’t.
Good luck anyhows.
Thanks AK84. I don’t think I need to see a shrink. But I am aware of the potential for losing my balance, so have already arranged a weekly ‘sanity check’ with my brother via chat. I will be very honest about what I’m thinking and feeling, and if he thinks I’ve gone bananas I’ll pull the plug on the exercise. The girlfriend is providing backup in this exercise.
Re. your suggestion of travel, I’ve been doing it on and off for nearly 20 years, have been to a multitude of places, mainly in Aisa, and though I love it with a burning passion it doesn’t offer the stillness and space that I’m looking for.
I’m also planning an intensely disciplined life on my own. Running, hillwalking, swimming, eating healthy, writing for a certain amount of time a day, etc. all on regimented timings. If I don’t do that, I could indeed see myself falling apart.
Keeping a sketchbook is a great idea! Especially after the third month, when the walls start talking to you. (How do I know? Winter in Canada has a similar effect. )
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