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  #1  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:59 AM
Leaper Leaper is online now
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Mind dating someone with the same first name at all?

Something that randomly popped into my head one day during an unrelated thought process.

Would you mind at all dating someone with the same first name as you? I'd like those with fairly (or greater) gender-specific names who are not gay or bisexual to try to refrain from answering, since the answer is probably relatively obvious (if it's not, feel free to!).
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  #2  
Old 08-06-2011, 06:17 AM
Namkcalb Namkcalb is offline
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Straight man here, I would find a similar name more than a bit of a turn-off

Screw internet anonymity.

I'm called Alex and I'ld be hesistant marrying someone named Alex[andra], Alice or Alison.
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  #3  
Old 08-06-2011, 06:45 AM
Grumman Grumman is offline
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What Namkcalb said. It would be weird. I don't think I'd call it a deal breaker, but it would probably prevent us from hooking up in the first place.
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  #4  
Old 08-06-2011, 07:56 AM
sugaree sugaree is offline
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It wouldn't bother me, but I've never been able to date a man with the same name as my father, stepfather, grandfather, or brother. That would weird me out, but my own name, I could totally handle.
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  #5  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:07 AM
Namkcalb Namkcalb is offline
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Originally Posted by sugaree View Post
It wouldn't bother me, but I've never been able to date a man with the same name as my father, stepfather, grandfather, or brother. That would weird me out, but my own name, I could totally handle.
Phew! three of my younger sister's boyfriends were called Alex, If Alex wasn't such a common middle-class name, I'ld be very worried
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  #6  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:11 AM
Ostrya Ostrya is offline
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If you find someone you can trust, has similar values, have some common bonds with, enjoy their company, someone you find attractive - wtf's in a name?
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  #7  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:22 AM
Shakester Shakester is offline
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Originally Posted by the lone cashew View Post
If you find someone you can trust, has similar values, have some common bonds with, enjoy their company, someone you find attractive - wtf's in a name?
This. Personal names are meaningless and insignificant (possibly not in other cultures but certainly anywhere Westernised).

Also, I'd just like to mention my favourite example: the author Evelyn Waugh and his first wife, Evelyn Waugh.
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  #8  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:36 AM
ZipperJJ ZipperJJ is offline
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My friends Aaron and Erin did ok for many years.

I don't think I could be with a man named Jessica :P But my friends Jesse and Jessica did ok too. I'd be fine with a Jesse.
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  #9  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:42 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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It wouldn't bother me. After all, Jack Kennedy married a Jackie. And Paul McCartney's family is full of people marrying people with names that are all in the family--Paul's adopted daughter and second wife were both named Heather.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 08-06-2011 at 08:44 AM..
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  #10  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:51 AM
Shakester Shakester is offline
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I'd be more put off by rhyming names:

Bill and Jill
Kim and Jim
Annie and Manny
Larry and Carrie

That's just way too cutesy.
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  #11  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:57 AM
Namkcalb Namkcalb is offline
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Originally Posted by Shakester View Post
I'd be more put off by rhyming names:

Bill and Jill
Kim and Jim
Annie and Manny
Larry and Carrie

That's just way too cutesy.
That's not too bad
Billy and Billie
Kim and Kim (it can be a man's name too)
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:02 AM
rekkah rekkah is offline
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I've known a Julian married to a Julia. For myself I don't think I would object in principle, but since I'm a straight woman and Rebecca (or even any of the short forms) would be a rather odd name for a man, it seems it would be unlikely even if I weren't already married.
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:08 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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We met a couple a few months ago. Her name is Roberta. Her SO's name is Robert. At one point the strangeness hit me and I whispered to my gf, "Hey, the cat's name is Bob. Think about it". It took a minute, but she grinned.

They were very strange, indeed.
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:13 AM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is online now
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Stranger things can happen.
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  #15  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:19 AM
chiroptera chiroptera is offline
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Wouldn't bother me one bit - although I am straight and the chances of me dating someone with my own (unusual but very clearly feminine) name would be between zero and nil.

I've dated two men with the same name as my father, and one with the same name as a brother...I thought it would be strange, but it wasn't.

I used to know a married couple called Gene and Gina.
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  #16  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:23 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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The day that gay marriage beame legal in New York state, NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg performed the wedding ceremony for two of aides, John Feinblatt & Jonathan Mintz
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  #17  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:32 AM
Antigen Antigen is offline
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I know three similar-named couples, and it gets annoying when I call their house and need to ask for "lady-Chris", so I think I'd avoid dating someone with my name, out of courtesy to my friends. Not hard to do, as most male Jennifers likely keep themselves in complete seclusion to avoid the schoolyard beatings. My exception to this name rule, of course, is if I were a celebrity and it would make for a cool mashup name for the tabloids, a la Brangelina.

I have a Chris/Chris (tina and topher), a Daniel/Danielle and a Michel/Michelle couple among my casual friends. The last two are friends from Montreal, so their names are pronounced almost identically, forcing me to dramatically emphasize the end of the name to show I want the female half of the couple on the phone.
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  #18  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:09 AM
lavenderviolet lavenderviolet is offline
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Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
We met a couple a few months ago. Her name is Roberta. Her SO's name is Robert. At one point the strangeness hit me and I whispered to my gf, "Hey, the cat's name is Bob. Think about it". It took a minute, but she grinned.

They were very strange, indeed.
Hah. There is a couple like this in my family. In addition to giving their cats the same name, they also named their boat after themselves too.
Good people though!


Personally, I probably could deal with dating a guy whose name was similar to mine, but it was creepy to me when I would consider dating guys who shared a name with my dad/brother.
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  #19  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:30 AM
Eliahna Eliahna is online now
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Originally Posted by rekkah View Post
I've known a Julian married to a Julia.
I know a couple named Jillian and Julian.

I'd be more put off a guy whose surname was the same as my first name.
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  #20  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:34 AM
BigT BigT is offline
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The only problem I could see would be with others. I'd pretty much have to have a nickname amongst her family, and she amongst mine.

And, despite having a name that is very unfeminine, one of the few people I've met with my name was female. My name is all Es. There's was with an A and a Y.
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  #21  
Old 08-06-2011, 11:11 AM
Simplicio Simplicio is online now
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Yea, as a practical matter, one or the other of you is going to get nicknamed pretty quickly by your friends and family. And if having the same name bothers you, you can use a nickname for your SO as well (most couples seem to rarely call each other by name anyways). So it seems kind of a silly thing to get worked up about, chances are if you stay together for any appreciable amount of time, you'll only be commonly called by the matching names during formal occasions.
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  #22  
Old 08-06-2011, 11:16 AM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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The OP reminds me of a great thread from a while back, something like "what's your Sienfeldian limit" or whatnot. Don't remember even enough to get a good search, but it noted how many trivial things Jerry broke up with people over (e.g. man hands) and Dopers posted their own versions.
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  #23  
Old 08-06-2011, 11:17 AM
hajario hajario is offline
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I knew a Terri and Terry. Weirder than the names were the circumstances. Terri was Tom's twin sister. Terry was Tom's best friend from childhood. Not long after Tom left home for college, Terri and Terry hooked up.
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  #24  
Old 08-06-2011, 11:34 AM
Ostrya Ostrya is offline
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I think a lot of people who would find the same names off-putting are those that already have a significant other. There are so many more important aspects other than names, which are more along the line of meaningless in the overall scheme of things.

If I found someone with whom I was happy, and them with me, I would consider myself lucky, and cannot imagine something like a name deterring anything.

Life is just to short to prioritize names, at least over anything of real substance, imo.

Last edited by Ostrya; 08-06-2011 at 11:35 AM..
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  #25  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:02 PM
FrancisCastle FrancisCastle is offline
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I know a couple through work that are both named Robin. And they have the same birth date. That's weird.
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  #26  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:14 PM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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No. Sorry, but a man named Laura would be too strange.
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  #27  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:28 PM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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I briefly dated a girl with the same name as my sister. It was beyond weird but I put up with it as she was exceptionally hot. I tried to advert some of the awkwardness by pretty much calling her "Babe" or some other pet name exclusively.

I think the last straw was when I accidentally texted my sister a rather graphic "sext messege" (No pictures just dirty talk) Honestly, we broke up for legitimate reasons but man, I don't know that I'll ever date a girl with that name again.
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  #28  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:29 PM
BetsQ BetsQ is offline
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I know a couple who are both named Alex. It's a little weird occasionally, but nothing major.
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  #29  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:36 PM
Ephemera Ephemera is offline
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Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
We met a couple a few months ago. Her name is Roberta. Her SO's name is Robert. At one point the strangeness hit me and I whispered to my gf, "Hey, the cat's name is Bob. Think about it". It took a minute, but she grinned.

They were very strange, indeed.
My name's Robert. I don't think I could be with a Robert, Roberta, Rob, Bob, Bobby, Bobbi, or Bert.

Last edited by Ephemera; 08-06-2011 at 04:36 PM..
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  #30  
Old 08-06-2011, 06:51 PM
Kamino Neko Kamino Neko is offline
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Oddly, I have a strongly male-gendered first name, and I'd only have an issue with it if the potential romantic partner was a guy - it would be something of a turn on to meet a gal who had it (it's weird, I know, but I have a 'thing' for cross-gendered names).
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  #31  
Old 08-06-2011, 06:59 PM
Ambivalid Ambivalid is offline
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With a name like Jamie, I've found myself in this situation more than once in my life. I don't have any issue with it at all, and I actually find that it can make for a great ice-breaker. What I do is I say I spell Jamie the "masculine" way and all the others are "feminine" varieties. Tongue-in-cheek, of course.
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  #32  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:08 PM
gallows fodder gallows fodder is offline
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Originally Posted by chiroptera View Post
Wouldn't bother me one bit - although I am straight and the chances of me dating someone with my own (unusual but very clearly feminine) name would be between zero and nil.

I've dated two men with the same name as my father, and one with the same name as a brother...I thought it would be strange, but it wasn't.

I used to know a married couple called Gene and Gina.
I have an uncle Gino (Luigino) married to a woman named Gina (Luigina). (My aunt Gina also has a sister named Regina, but that's another issue.)

My name is Regina and if I dated a guy named Reginald, I wouldn't mind. Some of my family call me Reggie, but not often enough that I would feel weird even if the guy went by Reggie.

Fortunately, my father's and brother's names are so unusual in the US that I have very little chance of dating anyone with the same name. But I have a family friend who married a woman with the same name as his sister, and I've always thought that must have been so awkward, at least in the beginning of their relationship.
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  #33  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:17 PM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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I have the same name as my brother's girlfriend. This has led to some embarrassing and deeply disturbing text messages intended for her being received by me.
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  #34  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:17 PM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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One of my husband's brothers has a daughter named Nickie. He also has a son named Nicholas. Nickie's husband is named or called Nick.

I always get them confused.

I don't think that I'd mind dating a guy named Lynn, though I can see that if someone called out "Hey, LYNN!", both of us might turn around to see who's paging us.
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  #35  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:12 PM
Cliffy Cliffy is offline
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I'm also an Alex, and I think it'd be weird dating another Alex but I'd get over it pretty quick if we were otherwise compatible.

My wife and my mother have the same name. Again, a little weird at first, but you get used to it. OTOH, in the nearly 20 years we've been together I've probably referred to my wife by her name no more than a few dozen times.

--Cliffy
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  #36  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:19 PM
EvilTOJ EvilTOJ is offline
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I have a generic first name, and yes I've dated girls with the same name as me. It made it interesting when we went out and someone who knew one of us saw us and called out our name.
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  #37  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:34 PM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is online now
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Originally Posted by gaffa View Post
I have the same name as my brother's girlfriend.
I know someone named Lisa, whose brother married someone named Lisa, so she loses the uniqueness of her name, to, of all people, her sister-in-law.
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  #38  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:25 PM
tumbleddown tumbleddown is offline
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My first and middle name are the first and last name of a famous male comedian, who I happen to loathe entirely and who happens to play a character with the same first name on TV. (You probably just figured out who.) Consequently I have a reflexive negative opinion of men with our first name.

I would date a woman with the name, though. It's fairly common in my age bracket, and it wouldn't bother me if I had a connection with the woman.
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  #39  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:41 PM
Namkcalb Namkcalb is offline
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Originally Posted by Antigen View Post
I know three similar-named couples, and it gets annoying when I call their house and need to ask for "lady-Chris"
Well, think how bad it would be if you had to share a class with your near-identically named female cousin. It was not my easiest term

Last edited by Namkcalb; 08-06-2011 at 10:42 PM..
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  #40  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:42 PM
gonzomax gonzomax is offline
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Who would even have pause about such a silly thing?
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  #41  
Old 08-06-2011, 11:16 PM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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Originally Posted by GuanoLad View Post
I know someone named Lisa, whose brother married someone named Lisa, so she loses the uniqueness of her name, to, of all people, her sister-in-law.
Yes, but does the wrong Lisa get sexually explicit text messages intended for the right Lisa?
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  #42  
Old 08-07-2011, 01:11 AM
panache45 panache45 is online now
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Wouldn't bother me at all.
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  #43  
Old 08-07-2011, 01:33 AM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is online now
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I'm sure I could get past it for the right person, but it would be off-putting. I think it's probably pretty obvious what my real name is.

I had an Aunt and Uncle Reg. You'd think one of them would go by the full version of their name, but no. (This is the 'Aunt Reg who had no legs and eventually no arms' that I've mentioned before).
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  #44  
Old 08-07-2011, 01:41 AM
Serenata67 Serenata67 is offline
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I've done it. I used to go by a nickname that could be used by males or females. I casually dated a guy with the same name for about a month or so. I had a female fuck buddy that went by the same name. It was weird sometimes when people would say my name and I would be sure if they were addressing me or the other person. Since I never really got seriously involved (i.e., meeting the family, etc.), I didn't really think too much into it. Now I'm married to a man with a very different name from me.
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  #45  
Old 08-07-2011, 02:54 AM
Grey area Grey area is offline
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I'd find it amusing more than anything. Probably easy fodder jokes among friends, I could throw in a little quip about being narcissistic and that would probably be the extent of it.
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  #46  
Old 08-07-2011, 03:46 AM
Rala Rala is offline
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Assuming I was attracted to her, I'd have no problem dating a girl with my name, or a boy with the masculine version of it. It'd be nowhere near as weird as dating someone with the same name as my brother or sister ... I'm not sure if I could do that.
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  #47  
Old 08-07-2011, 04:06 AM
Miller Miller is online now
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My cousin, who goes by J.L, married a woman named Joelle.
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  #48  
Old 08-07-2011, 08:53 AM
John DiFool John DiFool is offline
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I met 2 different couples on my recent trip which had this-Jamie and Jamie, and then Chris and Chris(tie). Never had met any other couples like that, ever.
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  #49  
Old 08-07-2011, 12:29 PM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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My name is techically unisex, but considering that I've only met male Shannons twice my entire life, I would find it a combination of odd and off-putting. I'd like to claim I'd be able to get past it if the guy was great, but considering I couldn't when guys have shared my dad's name, I think the claim would probably not hold up in practice.
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  #50  
Old 08-07-2011, 01:20 PM
pravnik pravnik is offline
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I have a fairly unisex name. Wouldn't bother me at all.
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