Recipe from hell

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m making a cake for denizens of Tartarus, with the the following ingredients.

one teaspoon cerumen oil
two cubes of the finest French smegma cheese
mix in three cups of succus entericus extract
fold in one pound of strained meconium
a dash of sweetened crusta lactea (to taste)

I’m wondering if I’ve forgotten anything. Do you have anything to suggest, either for the cake itself or a side dish?

(I suggest a Google Image search on each ingredient, to get into the spirit of the thing.)

2

Substitue fromunda cheese for the smegma cheese.

3

Good one! I was trying to think of a less-direct synonym.

Also: ewww.

4

I find your ideas interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

5

is it a multilayer cake? make fromunda cheese frosting instead of using it as a substitute for the smegma* (similar to creamcheese frosting) and put toejam between the two layers?

*although I’m just guessing this would work, I’m not a chefguy nor have I ever played on tv or in a movie

6

Second hit from a Bing search for French smegma cheese is…this thread.

Koxinga’s own bid for search engine immortality :smiley:

7

To me, it only works if you somehow manage to add Bhut Jolokia, ipecac and a good amount of fibre.

8

Only the SECOND? :eek:

9

But, fiber makes us… sad.

10

My additions are strictly for better AoE.

11

All physical ingredients? No lost souls, no wasted lives, no hopeless tears, no aborted… dreams? C’mon!

12

Yes, physical ingredients for the damned souls. The souls themselves and all their shattered dreams yadda yadda yadda at some point become foodstuffs for the demons, but that’s not my department.

13

Souls are the spice of life, and hellish cakes! Just saying.

14
  1. Whisk together ingredients in a porn shop’s mop bucket.
15

One more condition: all ingredients must be at least theoretically edible. No thumbtacks.

16

I don’t see any tofu in that cake. Can’t get much nastier than tofu.

17

Every time I read the thread title, I read it to the tune of Gidget Goes To Hell.

18

Oh, I was saving stinky tofu as a side dish. The first time I visited Taiwan, I had to stop and gag for a moment, asking my companion, “who on Earth is frying dog shit on the street?!”

Only problem is some people apparently like it. Bleah.

19

I hope when the OPs done, they’ll consider adding a plastic bride & groom on top.

20

Or 2 grooms.