Catholic Wedding Etiquette Question: Should Protestants kneel during the service?

[Sampiro]

I recently attended my first ever "full blown" Catholic wedding. The only other Catholic wedding service I ever attended was very short: the groom and bride were both around 60, both widowed with grown kids and grandchildren, and both had mobility problems (the groom was somewhat more than pleasantly plump and the bride had leg problems) so kneeling for extended periods of time was an actual issue, thus the entire service only lasted a few minutes and everybody told me "that's the shortest Catholic wedding you'll ever go to". This time the bride and groom were both healthy 30-somethings, first wedding for both, and the service lasted about an hour.

I mean no disrespect to Catholics when I say that for people raised Protestant (and for that matter non-Episcopalian/non-Anglican- i.e. no kneeling benches to be found) being in a Catholic service is being a stranger in a strange land. My entire pew was filled by me and my friends, all of us of some Protestant background or other, and the "Sit/Stand/Kneel/Stand/Sit/Genuflect/Fight Fight Fight/Commune/Kneel" was confusing, something that in spite of being reasonably well traveled and well read people we've really only seen done on TV and in movies (where All Christianity is Catholic). (The bride was a sister of one of our closest friends, and her family is also Protestant [the bride converted], but her family members in the wedding had been to rehearsal and knew the procedure.)

So, one of the things that was a bit odd to us was the full communion (not a Protestant custom at weddings). I knew that I was not supposed to take Communion (in fact some members of the wedding party didn't partake for various reasons) and that even if allowed to (and I seriously doubt anybody would have tackled me if I'd gone forward) it was alright to abstain, so no problem there. Certainly the standing and sitting were self explanatory and we followed suit, and even the non-believers among us have no problem respectfully bowing our head in silence during prayer.

For similar reasons I don't cross myself or genuflect since

1- I'm not a Christian
2- I was raised Protestant
3- To me, it would be disrespectful if I did cross myself since there's no internal conviction there

so this seemed okay.

However, just for future reference for the next time it comes up, here's my question (which is asked in the title of course)-


Should we kneel? We did the first time, but after that we did not- we remained seated, partly because we weren't really sure when to do so. But then in our neurotic way became a bit obsessed over "was this rude?" afterwards.

Is not kneeling disrespectful? (Luckily we were the extreme minority in the church and I think everybody knew "they're Protestants from Alabama" so they didn't take it offensively, but in general.) As mentioned, the main reason we didn't was we weren't always sure when to do so and we did not know the responses and thought that perhaps, like taking Communion or crossing ourself, it's a "for members only" thing, but we were wondering should we have knelt and done the 'silent moment of prayer' thing just for uniformity.

Any other pointers on "Catholicism for Protestant visitors" also appreciated. (It's always interesting to me when I stumble on something that's always there and practiced by millions of mainstream Americans but I suddently realize how clueless I am on the matter.)

[BrotherCadfael]

Non-Catholic guests may kneel if they wish to, but it isn't required. You can just sit quietly - many Catholics with older knees also sit rather than kneel.

What isn't cool is taking Communion if you are not a Catholic in good standing. That will definitely offend devout Catholics. You can remain in your seat, or you can go up with everyone else but cross your arms in front of you when you get to the priest - that signals that, for whatever reason, you do not want to take Communion, and he will just give you a blessing.

[Motorgirl]

I attend various Catholic services with my husband's family. Neither he nor I are religious or consider ourselves Christian. We sit when the Catholics kneel, and stand when they stand.

[UFC Is Sux]

I go by Robert A. Heinlein's dictum in cases like this:

Whenever the locals rub blue mud in their navels, I rub blue mud in mine just as solemnly.

I also wear a yarmulke to synagogue and Shabbat even though I'm not Jewish.

Now if there's snake-handling involved, forget it ...

[RandMcnally]

If possible try to find the old Mexican woman in the front. I grew up in the Southwest so there was always at least one. Do whatever she does.

Except Communion.

[UFC Is Sux]

Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael

What isn't cool is taking Communion if you are not a Catholic in good standing. That will definitely offend devout Catholics. You can remain in your seat, or you can go up with everyone else but cross your arms in front of you when you get to the priest - that signals that, for whatever reason, you do not want to take Communion, and he will just give you a blessing.

This is true in the Episcopal church as well, and exactly as you describe.

[kenobi 65]

Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael

What isn't cool is taking Communion if you are not a Catholic in good standing. That will definitely offend devout Catholics.

That's the big one. Catholics believe in transubstantiation (that is, the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Christ), while Protestants believe that the bread and wine are simply symbolic.

Oh, and if you're going to recite the Lord's Prayer with the congregation, note that Catholics don't include the doxology at the end ("for thine is the kingdom, and the power...") when they recite the prayer (though the priest will recite something very similar).

[RandMcnally]

Originally Posted by kenobi 65

Oh, and if you're going to recite the Lord's Prayer with the congregation, note that Catholics don't include the doxology at the end ("for thine is the kingdom, and the power...") when they recite the prayer (though the priest will recite something very similar).

Yeah we do.

It goes the Lord's Prayer main part
Priest says something
Then we say the doxology with hands raised a bit higher.

[Kasper1014]

Originally Posted by UFC Is Sux

This is true in the Episcopal church as well, and exactly as you describe.

I'm Episcopalian, non practicing. Anyone can take communion, as long as you are baptized. But if you don't want communion, then cross your arms or keep your head bowed down.

[kenobi 65]

Originally Posted by RandMcnally

Yeah we do.

It goes the Lord's Prayer main part
Priest says something
Then we say the doxology with hands raised a bit higher.

Huh...that's not what I remember from growing up Catholic, but things may have changed.

[Zsofia]

I don't kneel, although I do stand when they do. My mom's family is Pittsburgh Catholic and I don't think they believe me when I tell them that if my wedding ceremony is longer than 15 minutes the officiant has died of a heart attack and we're vamping for time to find another one. God, those weddings take forever.

[VOW]

I'm a convert, so I completely understand your awkwardness.

Sitting while everyone else is kneeling is fine. Nobody will take offense. You don't have to genuflect, either. Making the sign of the cross is a prayer, that's all. It's not some magical incantation.

Most Churches have little booklets either at the front of the Church (an usher may be handing them out) or in the pews. It's called a "Missalette," and you can follow along for the entire service in that booklet. It makes things a LOT more understandable.

Mass begins with a bunch of prayers, and then "readings" are done. There will typically be one from the Old Testament, a Psalm may be recited or sung, and then a reading from one of the Epistles in the New Testament. The congregation with then rise to their feet as the priest approaches the podium. He will read the Gospel while the congregation remains standing. Then everyone sits while the priest delivers the Homily.

After more prayers and the collection, the really holy stuff happens. The bread and the wine will be blessed by the priest, and then consecrated. Everyone kneels for this--but you can sit, don't worry. However, devout Catholics are really drawn in emotionally to the process and this isn't a good time to tap on the shoulder and whisper, "Do you remember where I left my keys?"

Some Churches still ring bells or chimes at the moment of consecration. I appreciated that so much, and I miss it in Churches who no longer do it.

Once the priest is done at the altar, the congregation will rise to its feet and the Lord's Prayer is recited or sung. And then the priest will ask everyone to share the sign of peace with others. This is when everyone smiles and shakes hands or even hugs. It's wonderful.

And then Communion will be distributed to those who go up front. You can remain seated, but either sit sideways or stand when someone needs to pass. And if your seatmates receive Communion, they will typically take a few moments after returning to the pew to quietly reflect on their relationship with God. Again, this is not a good time to ask about those missing car keys.

Look for a Missalette, and don't be afraid to ask where the day's readings are located, so you can follow along.


~VOW

[Sampiro]

Originally Posted by VOW

After more prayers and the collection, the really holy stuff happens. The bread and the wine will be blessed by the priest, and then consecrated. Everyone kneels for this--but you can sit, don't worry. However, devout Catholics are really drawn in emotionally to the process and this isn't a good time to tap on the shoulder and whisper, "Do you remember where I left my keys?"

Actually, no lie, it was during this that somebody's cell phone went off. I was SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad it wasn't anybody I knew. The priest went through it as if he hadn't heard it but you could tell from his face he absolutely had.

Speaking of the priest, here's a really silly question [but asked in earnest]: I was surprised when I saw him later at the reception and he was wearing a turtleneck sweater and slacks. (It was a cold night.) He may have been wearing his clerical collar under the turtleneck, but... is it common for priests to not be identifiable as priests when they're at a social occasion?

[Sampiro]

Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael

What isn't cool is taking Communion if you are not a Catholic in good standing. That will definitely offend devout Catholics.

Plus it burns like you wouldn't believe.

[Fleetwood]

Originally Posted by VOW

And then the priest will ask everyone to share the sign of peace with others. This is when everyone smiles and shakes hands or even hugs. It's wonderful.

~VOW

Not a convert, but now an ex-catholic, or a non-catholic, I guess would be the best decsription (bless me Father, it has been over thirty years since my last confession). This was/is always my least favorite addition to the Mass.

[Saintly Loser]

Originally Posted by Sampiro

Speaking of the priest, here's a really silly question [but asked in earnest]: I was surprised when I saw him later at the reception and he was wearing a turtleneck sweater and slacks. (It was a cold night.) He may have been wearing his clerical collar under the turtleneck, but... is it common for priests to not be identifiable as priests when they're at a social occasion?

Sure. Priests are not required (or at least not universally required -- some orders, and some dioceses, may have their own rules) to wear the black suit and Roman collar at all times.

I went through Catholic (Jesuit) high school without ever seeing some of the priests in uniform. And some I never saw out of it. Seemed to be a matter of personal preference.

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by kenobi 65

Huh...that's not what I remember from growing up Catholic, but things may have changed.

You remember correctly, but things have changed.

Sampiro: You probably know this, but since you didn't mention it specifically... the "service" was a mass. That's what goes on every Sunday for Catholics (or everyday for the really religious). And yeah, you don't take communion. Even Catholics have to be initiated into that sacrament before they can take it.

[Cunctator]

I sing at many Catholic weddings. The booklets usually include instructions about sitting/standing. During the Eucharistic Prayer/Communion the normal instruction is "kneel or sit". The Catholics kneel; the rest usually sit.

[Ellen Cherry]

The thing about the Catholic wedding is that it's a Wedding Mass. Matrimony is a sacrament, and although it doesn't have to be performed at at Mass, it's definitely a portion of the larger celebration of the sacrifice of the Mass. That is, it's the Mass that's important, and there's a wedding being held during it.

(As I say, you can have a wedding without a mass and it's perfectly sacramental.)

On the flip side, the first Protestant wedding I attended I was like, "Huh? Wha?" A song, vows, song ... zoom, they're outta there. Head for the reception, where there were MINTS and PUNCH. Geez, where is the keg??

[Ellen Cherry]

Originally Posted by Saintly Loser

Sure. Priests are not required (or at least not universally required -- some orders, and some dioceses, may have their own rules) to wear the black suit and Roman collar at all times.

I went through Catholic (Jesuit) high school without ever seeing some of the priests in uniform. And some I never saw out of it. Seemed to be a matter of personal preference.

The key word here, I believe, is "Jesuit." Those guys can never be counted on to do the expected. I knew one who used to come to all the dances in college and waltz with the women ... yet he always wore his "pius disguise." One Jesuit I know now usually has on giant mandals and socks and wears Dockers and Hawaiian shirts.

[Zsofia]

Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry

The thing about the Catholic wedding is that it's a Wedding Mass. Matrimony is a sacrament, and although it doesn't have to be performed at at Mass, it's definitely a portion of the larger celebration of the sacrifice of the Mass. That is, it's the Mass that's important, and there's a wedding being held during it.

(As I say, you can have a wedding without a mass and it's perfectly sacramental.)

On the flip side, the first Protestant wedding I attended I was like, "Huh? Wha?" A song, vows, song ... zoom, they're outta there. Head for the reception, where there were MINTS and PUNCH. Geez, where is the keg??

Oh, I assure you, many Southern Protestant weddings have PLENTY of booze. I was shocked that at some of those Yankee weddings there was a cash bar. I'd never heard of such a thing!

[Pai325]

Originally Posted by Fleetwood

Not a convert, but now an ex-catholic, or a non-catholic, I guess would be the best decsription (bless me Father, it has been over thirty years since my last confession). This was/is always my least favorite addition to the Mass.

Cradle Catholic 60 years old. I don't hold hands, I don't raise hands (reminds me of playing London Bridge as a kid) and I dislike the sign of peace. It's artificial and comes at a rather solemn part of the Mass.

Just sit when we kneel, stand when we stand, and don't go to Communion. You may find some of the hymns are familiar, so go ahead and sing if you want. Catholics are very used to nonCatholics at weddings and funerals and won't think a thing about it.

[j666]

Should we kneel? We did the first time, but after that we did not ...

Hmm, I would recommend kneeling right before the communion (you do know you're not supposed to take communion, right?) when the priest first takes out the host until communion starts. If I remember correctly, everyone is standing at the time, so if you're short you might not notice what's going on ... Another approach is to kneel every time, for about 15 seconds, and then gracefully back up into the seat. This is 2.0, though.

The one thing you must never do - other than take communion - is lean all the way back in the pew when everyone else is kneeling.

[kittenblue]

My family is the only Protestant family in our extended family...the rest are Catholics, so I have lots of Catholic wedding experience. Stand when they stand, sit when they kneel, don't plow ahead through the last words of the Lord's Prayer (no "for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever". They stop at "deliver us from Evil".), don't even THINK about taking Communion, and no genuflecting.

[Nava]

No, but it would still be appreciated if you do some gesture of extra respect. In your case, Sampiro, simply means being polite, but I've been in one funeral in which someone started texting while the priest was casting water on the bier... the cellphone didn't get used as a proctology tool but it was seized by that ultimate authority, the culprit's mother.

Catholics aren't required to kneel or stand, either; you're supposed to, but you do get a pass for medical reasons which may include anything from a bad hip to an ear infection which makes you woozy, so someone who remains seated isn't any kind of scandal - or rather, anybody who finds it a scandal needs to go back to Sunday School 101.

[VOW]

Oh, baloney, a non-Catholic can genuflect. The Catholic Church doesn't have a trademark or a copyright on that prayer.


~VOW

[The Flying Dutchman]

Some Protestants kneel. I had to kneel directly on the wooden floor with my elbows on a wooden chair every time some brother wanted to pray. That was like a dozen times in two hours. Prayer meetings meant an hour and a half on my knees. Of course my dad made me go each and every time.
So I had no problem kneeling on a padded plank at a Catholic wedding I once attended. Or it may have been an Anglican wedding.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by VOW

Oh, baloney, a non-Catholic can genuflect. The Catholic Church doesn't have a trademark or a copyright on that prayer.


~VOW

A question: we genuflect to the Body of Christ. Why/when would someone who doesn't believe the Body of Christ is present genuflect?

[Spoons]

Originally Posted by Motorgirl

I attend various Catholic services with my husband's family. Neither he nor I are religious or consider ourselves Christian. We sit when the Catholics kneel, and stand when they stand.

Exactly my experience. I was raised Protestant, and when Catholic friends did their first communion, got married, had their kids baptized, etc. I remained seated while the Catholics kneeled.

As for genuflecting, no. It is not a part of my tradition, so I never did it in a Catholic church (and never in my church either, whether we were taking Communion or not). Holy water and genuflecting have no part in my religious tradition, so when I enter a Catholic church, I ignore them. Of course, I do not get in the way of those who adhere to those religious requirements and traditions.

Still, that does not mean that I can disrespect the traditions of Catholic (or other Christian) churches. Typically, when it's time to stand, I'll stand; when it is time to sing a hymn, I'll sing; and when there's a responsive reading, I'll read; but when (say) Catholics are kneeling, I won't. My particular Christian sect (Presbyterian) did not kneel or genuflect to God.

[BigT]

The one and only Catholic mass I went to, no one kneeled. It was explained to me that it was because it was a small building and there wasn't enough room with the folding chairs for kneeling. Everyone just sat down.

I did notice that, if you pay attention, you can actually arrive at a standing or sitting position at the same time as everyone else, even if you aren't paying attention to the little schedule.

[ProbablyProcrastinating]

Originally Posted by UFC Is Sux

I go by Robert A. Heinlein's dictum in cases like this:

Whenever the locals rub blue mud in their navels, I rub blue mud in mine just as solemnly.

I also wear a yarmulke to synagogue and Shabbat even though I'm not Jewish.

Now if there's snake-handling involved, forget it ...

Robert A. Heinlein is such an insufferable, self-indulgent p*&#k. The locals are all .

I used to kneel because, though a heretic, I did believe the Body of Christ was present. Now I don't believe and I'd probably sit, just not to distract anyone.

[VOW]

To Nava:

Respect.


~VOW

[Nava]

Maybe it's a cultural difference, but seeing someone who I know does not believe in transubstantiation genuflect would be as offensive to me as seeing someone who I know is not a Muslim get down on his knees behind a group of praying Muslims and imitate their gestures. A minipoll has produced similar responses from my mother and one of my brothers.

[jayjay]

The reason Catholics genuflect on crossing the main aisle is that we're passing in front of the Real Presence in the tabernacle. If one doesn't believe that the Real Presence is in the consecrated elements, then genuflecting is inappropriate, not because that person is mocking Catholic belief, but because that person has no reason to genuflect. That it's inappropriate doesn't mean that it's offensive, especially if it's done out of ignorance rather than malice. I wouldn't expect a non-Catholic who has not received a Catholic education to know WHY Catholics genuflect in the first place (why would they even know what or where the tabernacle WAS, let alone what's in it?).

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by jayjay

The reason Catholics genuflect on crossing the main aisle is that we're passing in front of the Real Presence in the tabernacle. If one doesn't believe that the Real Presence is in the consecrated elements, then genuflecting is inappropriate, not because that person is mocking Catholic belief, but because that person has no reason to genuflect. That it's inappropriate doesn't mean that it's offensive, especially if it's done out of ignorance rather than malice. I wouldn't expect a non-Catholic who has not received a Catholic education to know WHY Catholics genuflect in the first place (why would they even know what or where the tabernacle WAS, let alone what's in it?).

Similarly, you wouldn't expect a non-Catholic to dip his hand in the holy water and make the sign of the cross upon entering the church.

[SciFiSam]

I'd have knelt - it's not as though kneeling for prayer is purely a Catholic thing. But Catholic masses are very confusing for the uninitiated, so I might have given up like you if others around me were doing the same. Doesn't sound like anyone was offended, so it's all good.

Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael

Non-Catholic guests may kneel if they wish to, but it isn't required. You can just sit quietly - many Catholics with older knees also sit rather than kneel.

What isn't cool is taking Communion if you are not a Catholic in good standing. That will definitely offend devout Catholics. You can remain in your seat, or you can go up with everyone else but cross your arms in front of you when you get to the priest - that signals that, for whatever reason, you do not want to take Communion, and he will just give you a blessing.

I wish someone had told me this when I was a kid. I took communion a few times then, despite not being Catholic - the first time I thought the communion line was the line for the door, and then it seemed to be expected of me to do it again - and I even went on a Catholic youth group retreat where I took communion from the Archbishop and just plucked the tiny wafer out of his fingers and said I'd save it for later.

[Mama Zappa]

Lapsed Catholic here. I'd say if you do not kneel, people will just assume you're a non-Catholic attending the service as a friend or whatever - in other words, exactly what you are. Nobody will be offended.

However, from a logistical standpoint, if you're sitting, the person kneeling behind you will not have any place to rest their folded hands; we typically will have our folded hands resting on the back of the pew in front of us when kneeling.

For that reason, it'd be nice to at least sit forward a little bit. You can also kneel, but not fully upright - i.e. with your backside resting against the front edge of your pew.

[BrotherCadfael]

Originally Posted by Nava

Catholics aren't required to kneel or stand, either; you're supposed to, but you do get a pass for medical reasons which may include anything from a bad hip to an ear infection which makes you woozy, so someone who remains seated isn't any kind of scandal - or rather, anybody who finds it a scandal needs to go back to Sunday School 101.

I generally do not kneel, partly because my knees aren't as young as they used to be, partly because my feet are so big that there usually isn't room for them, and mostly because I am in the choir, and just can't sing from that position.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by SciFiSam

I wish someone had told me this when I was a kid. I took communion a few times then, despite not being Catholic - the first time I thought the communion line was the line for the door, and then it seemed to be expected of me to do it again - and I even went on a Catholic youth group retreat where I took communion from the Archbishop and just plucked the tiny wafer out of his fingers and said I'd save it for later.

If you were CofE and depending on who you ask it would have been valid, but from your explanation it sounds as if you didn't know what it was. Bad hosts, and I don't mean the wafers...

[Pai325]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

Oh, I assure you, many Southern Protestant weddings have PLENTY of booze. I was shocked that at some of those Yankee weddings there was a cash bar. I'd never heard of such a thing!

Yep, just rude! And I'm from Illinois! Offer your guests what you can afford, they're not paying customers! Or they shouldn't be!

It's a rare Catholic marriage that doesn't have non-Catholics there, so as long as you're respectful it's all good.

[Dangerosa]

Originally Posted by BigT

The one and only Catholic mass I went to, no one kneeled. It was explained to me that it was because it was a small building and there wasn't enough room with the folding chairs for kneeling. Everyone just sat down.

I did notice that, if you pay attention, you can actually arrive at a standing or sitting position at the same time as everyone else, even if you aren't paying attention to the little schedule.

Quite a few Catholic Churches have dispensed with kneelers - it was a 1970s modernization thing. On the other hand, you can find a few that still do Latin Mass and find the liberalization of the Catholic Church disturbing.

The idea with attending any religious ceremony that isn't your own is to fit in without doing anything offensive. Sitting quietly counts as fitting in (there are lots of Catholics whose bad knees mean they don't kneel). And not walking up for communion is fine. If you have questions, ask the couple, the couple's parents or the officiant what is appropriate for someone not of that faith to do. Decent people are going to take any well meaning effort as intended - and non-decent people aren't worth worrying about.

[Northern Piper]

Originally Posted by Nava

Maybe it's a cultural difference, but seeing someone who I know does not believe in transubstantiation genuflect would be as offensive to me as seeing someone who I know is not a Muslim get down on his knees behind a group of praying Muslims and imitate their gestures. A minipoll has produced similar responses from my mother and one of my brothers.

Then I would advise staying out of Anglican churches, where genuflecting occurs, even though the Anglican tradition does not believe in transubstantiation. While it is by no means universal, it is not at all unusual.

[amarinth]

Originally Posted by Nava

A question: we genuflect to the Body of Christ. Why/when would someone who doesn't believe the Body of Christ is present genuflect?

Until this post, I didn't realize that the kneeling had something to do with the Body of Christ.
In church services, protestants generally don't kneel. Outside of church services, kneeling to pray is not uncommon. I know I've been in groups where the tradition was praying on your knees before God. I had assumed that Catholics kneeling in church was a version of that practice, not that it was specifically tied to communion.

[SciFiSam]

Originally Posted by Nava

If you were CofE and depending on who you ask it would have been valid, but from your explanation it sounds as if you didn't know what it was. Bad hosts, and I don't mean the wafers...

I was Christened, but wasn't a CofE churchgoer. I've mentioned a few times that it was only when I was ten that I discovered my religion was CofE rather than what I'd always misheard as COV.

Originally Posted by amarinth

Until this post, I didn't realize that the kneeling had something to do with the Body of Christ.
In church services, protestants generally don't kneel. Outside of church services, kneeling to pray is not uncommon. I know I've been in groups where the tradition was praying on your knees before God. I had assumed that Catholics kneeling in church was a version of that practice, not that it was specifically tied to communion.

It's not kneeling to pray - it's going down on one knee (like in a marriage proposal) or bowing, either body or head, done towards the altar or the church's main inside cross. But it's still not unique to Catholics; for Catholics, it might well be about transubstantiation, but for others it's about showing deference to God and the church.

[Sampiro]

Originally Posted by Dangerosa

On the other hand, you can find a few that still do Latin Mass and find the liberalization of the Catholic Church disturbing.

The usual priest at the church where the wedding is performed is like this. The wedding was performed by the groom's family's priest, but in the church where he lives (apparently other priests have "visiting rights" to each other's churches with clearance and all, which I assume is the same in Protestant churches). The official explanation was "we're using this priest because he's an old friend, but since most of the guests are coming from locally [i.e. where the groom now lives] we'll use this church, with no offense to the church's actual priest", and there was truth in that, but also true is that the groom, and for that matter much of the congregation, really doesn't like the regular priest who is very old and very old-school. He preaches strongly against living together out of wedlock, homosexuality, masturbation, divorce-remarriage, etc., and while all of these are standard Catholic positions he apparently is more hard core and hellfire/damnation than most modern priests to the extent that many of the more liberal and the younger parishioners, and even some who may agree with him but are uncomfortable having to explain what masturbation is to their 9 year old son after one of the sermons, have become increasingly absentee. The congregation is basically waiting for him to die or retire.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by amarinth

Until this post, I didn't realize that the kneeling had something to do with the Body of Christ.
In church services, protestants generally don't kneel. Outside of church services, kneeling to pray is not uncommon. I know I've been in groups where the tradition was praying on your knees before God. I had assumed that Catholics kneeling in church was a version of that practice, not that it was specifically tied to communion.

Kneeling is not genuflecting.

Genuflecting is going down on one knee only. In Catholicism it is done not towards the altar but towards and if you happen to walk in front of the Body of Christ for reasons other than having Communion. If the Body is in a different location than behind the altar (such as exposed during the Feast of Corpus Christi), or if there are no consecrated Hosts present (the candle is not lit), you're supposed to genuflect to the actual location or not genuflect respectively.

[kombatminipig]

Being Jewish, I don't kneel when attending Catholic ceremonies because it would go against my cultural grain to bow down to any deity at all, especially one which isn't my own (even though I'm an atheist, my religious values still go back to my childhood).

Likewise, it would never strike me to take communion, sing psalms or receive a blessing, even if it was offered. I will on the other hand show any form of respect which doesn't imply me actively taking part of the ceremony, so I'll stand and sit with the rest of them.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by Northern Piper

Then I would advise staying out of Anglican churches, where genuflecting occurs, even though the Anglican tradition does not believe in transubstantiation. While it is by no means universal, it is not at all unusual.

It's the Body of Christ whether it's transubstantiation or consubstantiation. And what would tell me there is something wrong is seeing someone who doesn't know how to genuflect try to do it.

It's like when I dated dudes who'd open doors for their date - but only for their date. They had no idea how to do it. When someone I'm on a date with who tries to open a door for me doesn't know how to do it, it doesn't make me think "oh, how nice", it makes me think "ok, dude never opens the door for anybody he's not trying to fuck, how rude." Seeing someone try to genuflect without knowing how to tells me he's doing it out of imitation, for no other reason than to try to look good - and to me, he's failing.

[Chefguy]

Since I don't subscribe to any of the organized religious orders, I do nothing other than sit quietly and let things happen around me. I stand when the bride enters, as it's a tradition to do so. When having dinner at somebody's house where they say grace, I don't bow my head, nor fold my hands, nor say 'amen', as it would be hypocritical for me to do so. I don't make a big deal out of it, and nobody seems to notice or care. Bottom line: you are not obligated to perform rituals that are not part of your belief system. It shouldn't be uncomfortable for you, if you are secure in your religious views.

[Dangerosa]

Genuflecting is that curtsy bob thing that Catholics do - often simultaneously making the sign of the cross. There isn't necessarily a formal time for genuflecting any longer - at least not in U.S. congregations. Its pretty normal to do it towards the alter (crucifix), when entering and leaving your pew. Its the same sort of bob you did to your monarch or liege lord - with, not surprisingly, the same sort of purpose.

Kneeling shows humility before God.