Have you ever said something bigoted accidentally?

[SDMBKL]

Have you ever said something bigoted accidentally? When I say "accidentally", the bigoted phrase just spills out of your mouth, because you aren't thinking straight. Then, you feel ashamed of what you have said, because you realize that you are a member of the targeted social group, and being called a "bigot" makes you feel bad about yourself because it appears like you are against the group to which you belong (sort of like betrayal of your own people). Or are you a person who has just tolerated everybody's differences right from the start?

Examples:

• anti-Semitic Jew
• misogynistic woman
• homophobic homosexual
• racist black person

[Gatopescado]

Yep. Oops.

[UFC Is Sux]

Sure have, and just a couple of days ago. I had no idea that the term "guido" was considered to be a cultural/racial slur. But according to some here, it is. And it is a term that I used freely up until that time.

[TriPolar]

You can't say something bigoted by accident unless you are a bigot. You can say something that sounds bigoted by accident though. I've done that.

[beowulff]

I was on the way to a trade show with a bunch of friends. We were riding in the airport shuttle bus, and joking around, loudly. I made some wise-ass comment about us having out very own “Beaner” - because one of the guys’ last name was Bean. Only later did someone point out that that comment could be taken out of context - it being LA and all...

I actually didn’t even think of the racist nature of the word at the time.

[DrDeth]

Once in a while I still say "Damn white of you."

[Sundrop]

I have a colleague at work that at one time use to regularly use the phrase "Broke as a coon" until someone pulled him aside and asked him what he thought it meant. He said, and I quote, "I dunno. I reckon someone who is broke as a coon is really broke. Just like a raccoon, cause they don't have any pockets to carry money in.". Once it was explained to him that 'coon' is a racial slur, he stopped using the phrase. The guy is a character and I don't think he has a bigoted bone in his body, but there you go.

[BrotherCadfael]

Originally Posted by TriPolar

You can't say something bigoted by accident unless you are a bigot. You can say something that sounds bigoted by accident though. I've done that.

My dad once was canvassing the neighborhood looking for our pet raccoon, which had gone missing (she came back eventually). He went up to a neighbors door and asked if anyone had seen "our little black coon". You guessed it - the neighbor was black.

Embarrassing.

[beowulff]

I once dated a woman who said something about how her customers tried to "Chew her down" on the price of something she was selling. I looked at her in horror, and said that I didn't think she should use that expression. She was surprised, and asked why not. So, I told her that it wasn't chew, it was Jew, and it was pretty bigoted. She was shocked, because she had never realized that, and she was Jewish!

[Lust4Life]

Amongst my mates we have a saying, when talking about somewhere thats not close, as it being a "Three day camel ride to get there".

Once when an Islamic lady asked me directions in England I told her where the place was, and unwittingly said the fatal sentence.

It was only when she looked at me oddly that I realised that she thought I was being offensive.(Though she didn't say anything.)

[Terraplane]

I spent a large portion of my life thinking "gypped" was just a normal word for "ripped off." Luckily I don't think I ever said it in front of any actual gypsies.

[davidm]

Originally Posted by Terraplane

I spent a large portion of my life thinking "gypped" was just a normal word for "ripped off." Luckily I don't think I ever said it in front of any actual gypsies.

I've been guilty of that in the past. "I was gypped". "What a gyp". I had no idea it was a reference to Romanis or even that it was derived from "Gypsy".

For years I also didn't know that the term "Gypsy" itself is considered derogatory.

It makes me wonder what else I may be saying that I probably shouldn't be.

[chiroptera]

Originally Posted by Terraplane

I spent a large portion of my life thinking "gypped" was just a normal word for "ripped off." Luckily I don't think I ever said it in front of any actual gypsies.

I remember using that term when I was younger, and at some point being corrected for it. Emphatically. By my mother. There is Roma (gypsy) blood on her side of the family several generations back. Oops.

Way back when I lived in the U.K., I used the term "Paki shop" quite freely - most people I knew then did. As in, "I'm running down to the Paki shop, do you need anything?"
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Paki_shop
I didn't mean it in an inoffensive way then, but it is now considered a racist term.

[Lust4Life]

I've used the term myself, as have many: if not most people living in the U.K.whatever ethnicity they come from.

And we haven't used it to be offensive about Pakistanis, just as we aren't being offensive when we talk about going out for an Indian, or a Chinese.

Wiki is, excuse my French, full of shit, in this entry.

Another overreaction by the proffessional "P.C. Chip on the shoulder "brigade.

If an actual Pakistani doesn't find the term offensive why do others take it upon themselves to be offended on their behalf, whether they want them to or not?

[Chefguy]

At one point in my Naval career, I somehow got into the bad habit of calling everyone by the nickname "Buckwheat"; not as a racial epithet but rather along the lines of calling someone a hayseed or a bumpkin as a joke. The inevitable happened, of course, and I used the word with a young black man who was new to the command. He had said something to me and I replied in an offhand manner, "you better believe it, buckwheat'. He stopped dead and stared at me in disbelief, then said "what did you call me, Chief?" I actually had to think for a moment to recall what I had said, and the sudden realization hit me that I had been using an offensive term for some six months. Apologies and explanations ensued, and I thanked him for calling it to my attention.

[minor7flat5]

I still occasionally say "in a coon's age" to refer to a long period of time.
Sort of like "Boy, I haven't gone trap shooting in a coon's age. Sounds like fun!"

Fortunately, if you type "coon's age" in Google, the first hit points to this learned source, which indicates that the phrase is all about raccoons and not bigotry.

But I still catch myself and wonder just how many people heard me and think "well now... I never would have imagined he was a bigot," with a sneer.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by Chefguy

At one point in my Naval career, I somehow got into the bad habit of calling everyone by the nickname "Buckwheat"; not as a racial epithet but rather along the lines of calling someone a hayseed or a bumpkin as a joke. The inevitable happened, of course, and I used the word with a young black man who was new to the command. He had said something to me and I replied in an offhand manner, "you better believe it, buckwheat'. He stopped dead and stared at me in disbelief, then said "what did you call me, Chief?" I actually had to think for a moment to recall what I had said, and the sudden realization hit me that I had been using an offensive term for some six months. Apologies and explanations ensued, and I thanked him for calling it to my attention.

"Now go home and get your fuckin' shine box!"

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by DrDeth

Once in a while I still say "Damn white of you."

Similar here, using 'mighty white of you' instead. It's on purpose though, as I don't expect anyone to actually take offense.

Um...don't think I've ever said that to anyone not white though, lol. When that happens, I'll let you know the result!

[UFC Is Sux]

I'd probably be banned then hunted down like an animal if I told you what we used to call Brazil nuts when I was growing up.

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by UFC Is Sux

I'd probably be banned then hunted down like an animal if I told you what we used to call Brazil nuts when I was growing up.

You repeat what you hear in your home. "Nigger toes" was what my father called them, so that's what I called them until I was old enough to know better.

[WhyNot]

As a kid, a friend of mine and I called sleeveless ribbed t-shirts "Dago T's". I think I was 20 before I figured out that "Dago" is an offensive term referring to Italian-Americans.

So then I just started calling them "wifebeaters" like everyone else.

[An Gadaí]

Eeny, meena, mina, mo,
Catch a nigger by the toe;
If he squeals let him go,
Eena, meena, mina, mo.

Said countless times before the age of about 7 or 8 I'd say when I moved on to tiger or tigger.

[DrDeth]

Originally Posted by Taomist

Similar here, using 'mighty white of you' instead. It's on purpose though, as I don't expect anyone to actually take offense.

Um...don't think I've ever said that to anyone not white though, lol. When that happens, I'll let you know the result!

Yeah, it's not too bad, all things considered.

[Namkcalb]

I almost posted this on another topic.

"I don't see why people go out of their way to say African-American, white people are white, black people are black, why don't you just call a spade a spade"

[BrotherCadfael]

Originally Posted by An Gadaí

Eeny, meena, mina, mo,
Catch a nigger by the toe;
If he squeals let him go,
Eena, meena, mina, mo.

Said countless times before the age of about 7 or 8 I'd say when I moved on to tiger or tigger.

Never ever heard your version until I was 35 or so, and then only in the context of a discussion of racial issues. "Tiger" was all I ever heard as a kid in the early '60s.

[miss elizabeth]

I think I may have told this story on here before, but it's pretty funny, so I'll tell it again.

Back when I was starting college, I used to work at an independent pizza restaurant in Memphis, TN (a city with a LOT of racial tension). There were several branches, and we didn't have our delivery system synced or anything; you would call in and tell your address, and the person taking your order would check to make sure you're in the delivery area by looking on this enormous map on the wall. The section we delivered to was left blank, but the surrounding areas were colored in with highlighter; different colors indicated a different branch to call.

Well, one night we were pretty busy so one of the delivery drivers answered the phone and started to take an order, something they normally didn't do. When the customer on the other line told him her address, the driver looked it up on the map and saw that it was in one of the highlighted areas. Since he wasn't used to explaining this to a customer (and was a kinda thick headed fellow to boot) he says to her, "Oh! I'm sorry, we don't deliver to the colored areas, you'll have to call somewhere else."

BLAM! She hangs up the phone. The delivery driver assumes she's calling another branch; about 30 minutes later he gets called into the managers office for telling customers we don't deliver to black people. The woman he offended had actually called the owner at home to complain, and a tornado of shit was about to hit the poor driver. Fortunately, he was able to explain himself, and he called up the customer to apologize as well, but we all had a pretty good laugh about it.

[An Gadaí]

Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael

Never ever heard your version until I was 35 or so, and then only in the context of a discussion of racial issues. "Tiger" was all I ever heard as a kid in the early '60s.

For reference this was late '80s/ early '90s Ireland.

[Trinopus]

Do slips of the tongue count? I once said "nigger" when I meant to say "trigger," and once when I meant to say "dicker." Oh, God...

I once was so mad at an extremist feminist that I said "Feminazi," and I wish very much I hadn't. Bleah! Taking inspiration from Rush? I'd rather chug-a-lug a gasoline milkshake!

And I once said "Jewed" as in, "He got Jewed out of his inheritance." Bleah again. Damn, damn, damn stupid thing to have said, and, again, I really wish I hadn't.

Y'know the adage, "Measure twice, cut once?" Well, think twice, speak once!

[China Guy]

Or just teach yourself to say something like "I Christianed him down on the car and got a real good price." Get a lot of WTF looks from people (from "Is this goy so dumb to not know it is "jew down" or "is he fucking with me" to "my brain hurts.)

Conditioning is tough. I've got a special needs daughter and still catch myself saying "fucktard."

"Bless (insert name/group here) heart" except the phrase "bless your heart" is not that widespread in the US.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Now we can't even use the suffix -tard? Lame.

[voguevixen]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

Now we can't even use the suffix -tard? Lame.

This. "Retarded" is an actual medical term meaning held-back or slow. Example, the opposite of "Premature ejaculation" is "Retarded ejaculation". It can obviously be used in a pejoritive fashion, but it is a THING and has a legit place.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

Originally Posted by Chefguy

At one point in my Naval career, I somehow got into the bad habit of calling everyone by the nickname "Buckwheat"; not as a racial epithet but rather along the lines of calling someone a hayseed or a bumpkin as a joke. The inevitable happened, of course, and I used the word with a young black man who was new to the command. He had said something to me and I replied in an offhand manner, "you better believe it, buckwheat'. He stopped dead and stared at me in disbelief, then said "what did you call me, Chief?" I actually had to think for a moment to recall what I had said, and the sudden realization hit me that I had been using an offensive term for some six months. Apologies and explanations ensued, and I thanked him for calling it to my attention.

You could've nailed him on calling you "Chief." My friend, who was in the habit of calling EVERYone "Chief," said to a bartender, "I'll have a beer, Chief." Of course, the bartender was a Native American, and didn't appreciate being addressed thusly.

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by Hazle Weatherfield

You could've nailed him on calling you "Chief." My friend, who was in the habit of calling EVERYone "Chief," said to a bartender, "I'll have a beer, Chief." Of course, the bartender was a Native American, and didn't appreciate being addressed thusly.

Yeah, except I was a Chief Petty Officer, so that would have made me look...you know...stupid.

[Jophiel]

Originally Posted by Chefguy

You repeat what you hear in your home. "Nigger toes" was what my father called them, so that's what I called them until I was old enough to know better.

A Southern friend of mine has a story about her friend eating nuts and getting an allergic reaction. At the hospital, they were asked what sort of nuts he was eating and they realized to some horror that no one knew a name for them besides "Nigger toes".

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by Jophiel

A Southern friend of mine has a story about her friend eating nuts and getting an allergic reaction. At the hospital, they were asked what sort of nuts he was eating and they realized to some horror that no one knew a name for them besides "Nigger toes".

I also grew up thinking that bog hummocks were called "niggerheads". My brother still calls them that, and becomes fairly aggressive when corrected. Of course he also voted for Goldwater, so there's that.

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

Originally Posted by voguevixen

This. "Retarded" is an actual medical term meaning held-back or slow. Example, the opposite of "Premature ejaculation" is "Retarded ejaculation". It can obviously be used in a pejoritive fashion, but it is a THING and has a legit place.

I saw one of the most idiotic examples of PC-ness run amok regarding that term this past weekend. FX was showing "Tropic Thunder" on TV, so of course it was edited for language. However every time the characters said the word "retarded" it was dubbed to "special." What makes that so incredibly stupid is that the actor was playing a mentally retarded character! The term was not used in a derogatory way! He was retarded!

[HubZilla]

In school, the teacher was discussing people's attitudes during slavery. She referenced a newsletter where didn't want to free the slaves, because they would overrun our cities and make them dangerous.

This was in the late 80s when Washington DC was an absolute no-go area a few blocks from the monuments. So I blurted out "Isn't that what happened?"

I probably would've gotten expelled if I said that today.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by Eyebrows 0f Doom

I saw one of the most idiotic examples of PC-ness run amok regarding that term this past weekend. FX was showing "Tropic Thunder" on TV, so of course it was edited for language. However every time the characters said the word "retarded" it was dubbed to "special." What makes that so incredibly stupid is that the actor was playing a mentally retarded character! The term was not used in a derogatory way! He was retarded!

"You never go full special"?

Yippee ki-yay, melon farmer!

ETA: at least tell me that Downey, Jr. wasn't colorized back to whiteface...

[Enderw24]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

"You never go full special"?

Yippee ki-yay, melon farmer!

ETA: at least tell me that Downey, Jr. wasn't colorized back to whiteface...

Not until after the DVD commentary.

[Infovore]

Couple of them for me, but one I have an excuse for (I was very young and didn't know any better).

The one where I was older, I don't even remember the specifics anymore but I was in a work-related class and the subject of cars came up. I made some offhand comment about driving "those cheap Korean cars" (implying that they were crap). I'm not sure anybody took offense (and in my defense, I think Korean cars *were* pretty crappy in those days--this would have been the late 80s/early 90s), but I certainly didn't mean to offend any Koreans who might have been in the class. I'm still kind of embarrassed about it even after all these years.

The one when I was very young wasn't my fault. My mom was kind of a bigot and tried to pass it off as "everybody talked like that when I was growing up." But all the pets I had when I was a kid were black cats. I loved them all, but they had names like "Spade," "Spook," and "Stokeley." I had no idea these were offensive terms for black people. I'm sure some people looked at me pretty strangely when I talked about my cats. Years later I realized what those names meant and was mortified about it.

[Odesio]

A friend of mine got an adorable puppy that was all black. As a joke, I suggested he name his dog Spook. I was just kidding. Playing around with the idea of people who name their black dogs a certain other word. The joke went right over his head and he named it Spook.

[Martin Hyde]

How exactly did Paki come to be a racial slur? I mean it's just a portion of the name of the country itself. Intrinsically I don't see how it is different than calling citizens of the United Kingdom "Brits", and that's not considered racist by anyone. Then again Japs/Nips is also just a shortened version of the country name and both have always been racial slurs as far as I know.

But Paki is even more similar to "Brits" when you factor in that unlike Japanese, Pakistani is not an ethnic group, and the name of the country is itself just formed by abbreviations of the regions of India that were merged into Pakistan.

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by Martin Hyde

How exactly did Paki come to be a racial slur? I mean it's just a portion of the name of the country itself. Intrinsically I don't see how it is different than calling citizens of the United Kingdom "Brits" . . .

It's largely a matter of intent. Nobody says "Goddam stinking pommie Brit stinkard wankers," but, rather, "Oh, I've a couple of friends who are Brits." If people used it in the former way more often, it would become a slur.

I once knew a Scot who insisted that "Jock" was an offensive slur, every bit as bigoted as "nigger." I think he's full of prunes; today, at least, Jock is like Brit: amiable and good-natured.

"Yank" for American sometimes crosses that line. When they spray-paint "Yankee go home" on the embassy wall, it is a slur. When an affable bloke says, "Oh, you Yanks and your goofy superhero movies!" he's just being saucy.

Someone once tried to convince me that "Ami" for American was "fightin' words." I said hogwash.

(Years ago, a friend wanted to know how to say "American" in Spanish. We told him it was "Maricon." He went around the whole day saying, "Soy mucho grande Maricon!" At quitting time, we told him what it really meant......)

[billfish678]

Naw, I say all my bigoted statements on purpose bitch!

But I did have one whopper of a close call. I was on vacation at the beach. I saw a nice family also on the beach. It was a man, two women, and and a 8 year old girl, give or take. The adults were in their late 20's give or take. Seemed like a nice family. Figure it was the husband, wife, and the sister of one or the other.

Well, they are on the beach taking pictures of each other. I can tell they are just taking snapshots and of course they aren't all in the picture at the same time. Well, I offer to take their picture for them. This way, they can all be in the pic at the same time. Also, I am pretty good at taking good pictures so not only will they all be in the pic, it will be a good pic.

So, after getting everybody in the right place, things framed right, and waiting for the right time to take the pic I need to do the "say cheese!" thing for them to smile.

But, having taken many a photo I hate the "say cheese" thing. So, my mind searches for an alternate phrase. After some mental processing, it comes up with something that makes sense to me. Now, I am going to tell you what I almost said first, and then why I almost said it.

I almost said "Say Watermelon!" I was on the start of the W when my brain finally went STOOOOPPPPP. I think you can guess the ethnicity of the family.

Thank God I caught it. I'd hate to think they would forever remember their nice vacation to the beach as the time that racist bastard on the beach told em to "say watermelon!"

Why "say watermelon"? I recalled my childhood. Every time we vacationed on the beach when I was a kid we HAD to have a watermelon with us. Didn't matter how much it cost (even as a little kid I often thought "that seems kinda pricey" and we werent exactly rolling in the dough). Or that we often had to drive miles out of the way to get one. And, for that matter, us kids weren't that keen on watermelons in the first place. Hell, as adults, I don't think myself or my sibblings even eat watermelon. And neither did my parents once we became adults.

The whole we gotta have a watermelon when we go to the beach has always been a bit of a mystery to me. But, when my brain was searching for "whats says BEACH!" it logically dug up "watermelon".

At least this time I dodged a bullet and a family didnt suffer from my stupidity.

[BigT]

Originally Posted by voguevixen

This. "Retarded" is an actual medical term meaning held-back or slow. Example, the opposite of "Premature ejaculation" is "Retarded ejaculation". It can obviously be used in a pejoritive fashion, but it is a THING and has a legit place.

And when you use it medically, I'm sure most people don't have a problem with it, other than it being obsolete. The -tard suffix is never used in that capacity. I don't know that the latter has ever been acceptable, at least in the sense that "fuck," "shit" and "cunt" are not acceptable.

As for curse words--all that's happening is that we are moving from sex and bodily waste functions being unacceptable to words that were used to discriminate against people. Honestly, I think that's the right direction to go, to pick words that actually hurt people.

[Lust4Life]

Originally Posted by Trinopus

It's largely a matter of intent. Nobody says "Goddam stinking pommie Brit stinkard wankers," but, rather, "Oh, I've a couple of friends who are Brits." If people used it in the former way more often, it would become a slur.

I once knew a Scot who insisted that "Jock" was an offensive slur, every bit as bigoted as "nigger." I think he's full of prunes; today, at least, Jock is like Brit: amiable and good-natured.

"Yank" for American sometimes crosses that line. When they spray-paint "Yankee go home" on the embassy wall, it is a slur. When an affable bloke says, "Oh, you Yanks and your goofy superhero movies!" he's just being saucy.

...)

You're totally right, it IS the intent that matters, so demonising the actual word seems a bit pointless.

If a racist absaloutley loathes and despises a particular ethnic group, it doesn't matter what word he uses, but whats going on in his head.

The overwhelming number of Brits who use the term Paki, use it in a non perjorative sense, because it is less of a mouthful then saying "Pakistani" everytime.
Even a regular Pakistani Doper, when asked on a "Ask the ........."thread, said that he didn't find it offensive.

If an ardent Asian hater is talking to, or about Pakistanis, it doesn't matter whether or not he calls them Pakis, Pakistanis, Asians or Supreme beings from beyond the sky.
The hatred, and the image, in his mind is just the same.

I have myself been called "Brit" by extremist Irish Republicans in terms dripping with hatred, as an insult.

And they were genuinly surprised when I wasn't hurt or offended by it.

Because their minds were full of hate for the English (And for Blacks, Asians and Jews amongst others but thats another story).

I realsied their hatred but it didn't bother me because I'm a Brit and seriously proud of it.

This side of the pond we have a race relations "Industry" that often goes Loony Tunes, by the proffessional "chip on the shoulder", looking to be insulted, types,

And even more so ,the Whites involved with it, who are desperate to prove how caring and P.C. they are, and how much they empathsise with other ethnic groups.

So much so that they take it upon themselves to feel offended on their behalves, by so called racial slurs to other ethnic groups, that the so called "victims" are unaware of, or find laughable.

I remember many years ago, young children being told not to tell "cannibal" jokes because it was offensive to non white people.

It would be more useful if, rather then trying to censor peoples speech, more effort was devoted to changing the perceptions of ethnic groups in the eyes of the rest of the population.
(Including those of OTHER ethnic minorities, who aren't by any means less racist then the mainstream in very many cases)

[Acsenray]

Originally Posted by Martin Hyde

How exactly did Paki come to be a racial slur?

It came to be one the same way any other racial slur came to be one -- because it was used that way. There is nothing intrinsically offensive about any racial slur -- nigger, wog, spic, chink, gook, or anything else. They become offensive because they are used offensively.

I have friends and relatives in Britain who have been subject to use of the word "Paki" despite the fact that they have no personal connection to Pakistan. They're Indians or descended from Indians. "Paki" thus is just being used as an epithet for "dark-skinned" or "South Asian" and not in a friendly way.

One friend of mine, a lawyer in the London area, said that he refused to drive a car any more expensive than a Volkswagen because if he was seen driving an obviously expensive car around London, people on the street would "start calling me a Paki."

[MaddyStrut]

Originally Posted by WhyNot

As a kid, a friend of mine and I called sleeveless ribbed t-shirts "Dago T's". I think I was 20 before I figured out that "Dago" is an offensive term referring to Italian-Americans.

So then I just started calling them "wifebeaters" like everyone else.

My grandmother and a couple of her sisters would talk about my great aunt Ruth and her fondness for "dago red wine". I actually thought that was a brand.

This same grandmother gave my parents an albino chihuahua named "Hunky" because she'd heard that's what black people called white people. No, my parents didn't rename the dog because they thought it was cute. This was the early 70's, I was in grade school, and even then I knew the name was wrong. At least the fact they'd misheard the term allowed me to pretend that "Hunky" was a play on the dog's size.

[olivesmarch4th]

Originally Posted by Trinopus

(Years ago, a friend wanted to know how to say "American" in Spanish. We told him it was "Maricon." He went around the whole day saying, "Soy mucho grande Maricon!" At quitting time, we told him what it really meant......)

This might be one of those times you accidentally look bigoted. Maricon is derogatory slang for homosexual.

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th

This might be one of those times you accidentally look bigoted. Maricon is derogatory slang for homosexual.

That was the point! We set the poor bastard up, so he went around all day saying "I'm a great big queer!" when he thought he was saying "I'm a great big American." It was a dirty trick.

It was bigoted on purpose...so, I guess, fails the point of the thread...

Here's one: a co-worker of mine, a black man, was proud of his son. His son was growing up fast. Big kid! I said, without any intent to be racist, "Wow! Won't be long before he's climbing up the side of the Empire State Building."

Ouch... It was intended to refer to the kid's size, not skin color! I was lucky; my co-worker didn't take it the wrong way. It was only a couple of days later, when I re-played what I'd said in the privacy of my own mind, that I realized how it could have been taken.