Colonoscopy advice

In My Humble Opinion
1

So my ass has a date with the camera in two weeks time. I’ve gotten the prep instructions from a nurse at the hospital. Which involves the day before of a strict liquid only diet and scheduled consumption of pico salax.

I know obviously I won’t be at work the day of the exam. But the prep day before should I be at home near my toilet ? What about the day after ? Safe to go to work or will I be a gas machine ?

I’m going to be sedated. The nurse told me that I had to be accompanied by someone. I asked her if I took a cab home would I need anyone there. She said no.
So I plan on doing this solo, ok idea ? Don’t want to worry family.

BTW I was on a waiting list for the procedure April of last year and got the call just last week. Canadian health care needs some work .

Any other advice is welcomed.

2

As I recall, the treatment (other than the liquid diet) doesn’t begin until the *evening *before the procedure, so a day at work should be fine. So will the day after. You’ll only need to miss work the day of the procedure.

I told them I would take the bus home. They said no, have someone pick you up. So I did, but as I recall, I felt fine and could easily have taken the bus.

Good luck! You’ll be fine.

3

Before you take the laxative, be sure to change into loose, comfortable clothes that will enable you to disrobe and sit down in a hurry. You usually start drinking the laxative in the evening, and it tastes absolutely foul. It’s not THE worst substance I’ve ever had (I think the barium wins that prize) but it’s certainly in the top 5. At any rate, this stuff is intended to clean you out completely. And it does. It’s impossible to drink it all at one go, because it’s so nasty. And each time you have another swig, you’re gonna trigger another spasm.

Put plenty of reading material by the pot. Also, even if you don’t ordinarily use them, get some wet wipes. I use the Walmart version of Tucks, which are flushable. You will be much more comfortable if you use this sort of wipe.

You can work the day before, if you can function after consuming only clear liquids. You only have to park on the toilet after you start drinking that nasty stuff. Also, don’t eat or drink anything with red dye. I think that purple dye is forbidden, too.

I’ve been told, and other people have been told, that the patient MUST have someone with them, at the clinic or office or whatever. Part of this is to assure that the patient isn’t waiting hours for a cab, but part of it is because of the sedation that they use. I was awake and somewhat functioning for a while before my memory started to function again. For instance, the doctor went over my procedure, and explained stuff to me, but I don’t remember anything. My husband remembers it, though.

And I wouldn’t go to work afterwards. You’re gonna be expelling gas for hours after the procedure, and sometimes you’ll be expelling liquids, as well.

4

I’m not familiar with pico salax. I’ve had “GoLytely” (may the person who named it that dwell in a super-hot part of Hades for lying through his teeth in such a manner), but that seems to have been supplanted by Miralax and Gatorade. Much more palatable.

Good luck.

5

Once you start the prep, you should be close to a toilet. I’ve had two or three, and always started the prep around 1 or 2 in the afternoon, so I would take a half-day from work if it wasn’t in the summer. Other than that, it’s as easy as falling offa log. For me, the worst part has always been the prep.

6

Later in the day of the procedure, I wouldn’t try to go to work, but the following day, you’ll be fine. So if it’s scheduled on a Thursday, you can go to work Wednesday and Friday, but depending on your job, you may want to leave a little early on Wednesday. Begin the bowel prep at home at the time they told you (probably 5:00), and follow Lynn’s recommendations re: comfortable clothes and wet wipes. Whatever you do, don’t even think about taking the prep at work and gambling you’ll make it home before it starts working. You may, but you may not, and it’s not worth the risk.

Thursday you’ll wake up and go to the medical clinic or wherever they’re doing the procedure. They’ll put an IV in your hand or arm, come talk to you and explain the procedure again, ask if you have any questions and have you sign a form or eleven. They’ll probably put some of those sticky electrodes on you for an EKG, and a plastic clip with a light on it will go on your finger to track your oxygen level. Then they’ll wheel you into another room, probably with a big TV on one wall.

Everyone will come in the room who should be there (probably nurse, technician and doctor, maybe one other assistant or a trainee or student) and then they’ll stop and ask you your name and birthdate. They’ll all tell each other they’re there for a colonoscopy on [yourname] and you’ll agree with them. (This is a “Time Out”, designed to make sure they don’t accidentally amputate your leg while you’re in there. Everyone has to know what patient, what procedure, etc.)

That’s all you’ll remember for a while. While you’re woozy, they’ll be moving you around (actually, you’ll move yourself around with their help, but you probably won’t remember it later) as the doctor feeds a long tube up your butt. The tube carries a camera and a light and an air blower thingy, and several surgical tools in case they find anything interesting up there they decide to biopsy.

The next thing you’re likely to be aware of is waking up in recovery, where a nurse will come and press on your belly and ask you if it hurts. He’ll remind you that it’s normal to fart a lot and don’t worry about it - the doctor blew air up in there to see better, and that air will make its way out. You’ll probably spend about an hour in recovery and then they’ll let you go home.

Don’t make any passwords the day of your procedure. You’ll probably have gotten Versed, which gives you amnesia (which is why you won’t remember what happened during the procedure) and it can take longer than you think to wear off.

I would not recommend going home alone, but that’s because it just isn’t done here. I’ve worked in a couple of colonoscopy clinics, and they’re adamant that you go home with an adult, who can make sure you get to the ER if you end up suffering ill effects from the drugs or bleeding internally from a perforated colon.

7

I would take a half day the day of the prep.

The advice above is great…I would also add buy Desitin or any other diaper rash cream and cover that area of your rear end with the cream before you start that prep.

8

Instant remark: There was another thread on exactly this subject very recently. I’ll see if I can find it and post a link . . .

ETA: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=636960&highlight=colonoscopy

9

Also, Dave Barry has a few words to say on the subject. Mostly ``HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!‘’

10

I did this just last week, for my second time in 10 years. The prep was unpleasant, mostly because you need to be on the pot constantly the evening before and the next morning. Also the fasting made me anxious the previous day. I didn’t like the drinkable prep med, but I didn’t think it was entirely foul, just unappetizing. Barium is 1000x worse.

My doctor’s office insisted that some adult must come with who would see me home or the procedure would not be performed. Your doctor may insist the same, and you should check if this is the case.

The procedure actually took about 30 minutes – ten minutes messing about with procedure and forms, 10 minutes getting a tube in my arm and giving me drugs to relax me, and about 10 minutes actually sticking a tube up my rear end. I was told I would experience “twilight” memory where I would not recall the procedure, but both times I remembered everything; your mileage will vary.

After everything was done, I dressed, a followup appointment was scheduled, and I left with my wife and we went out to breakfast. I initially felt fine each time, but took the rest of the day off work and felt fairly crappy and napped for the rest of the day. My guess is that this was a reaction to whatever drug they gave me to relax. during the procedure.

11

Had one last month. The only thing I have to add is that I woke up instantly and without any grogginess from the anesthesia that was used. I was ordered to have someone to drive me home (my wife did) but honestly, I could have done it myself.

12

The nurses always assure you that you’ll be sedated for the procedure. I ask, “Okay, the procedure itself doesn’t worry me. How about sedation for the PREP?”

If you are given that horrible, nasty concentrate for the prep, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CHUG IT DOWN. I TRIED to tell my husband that, and he, knowing everything, chugged anyway. Then he spent the next fifteen minutes heaving up his stomach and half his small intestine into the kitchen sink.

BobArrgh upthread is my new soul mate. GoLytely was created by a demon from the lowest circle of Hell. The DIRECTIONS for GoLytely were written by a psychopath. I believe there was one line that said, “The solution is a pleasantly-flavored…”

Since I have developed contrary kidneys, I don’t think my next colonoscopy prep will include either of those two tortuous concoctions. Won’t that be fun?

Here’s the GOOD NEWS: If the doctor playing “up periscope” finds EVERYTHING NORMAL, you will be given a pat on the back, a grin, and a pass from having to play the game for TEN YEARS.

(psst–are you SURE I can’t get sedation for the prep???)
~VOW

13

He doesn’t know everything. You’re supposed to upchuck into the toilet, not the sink, and especially not the kitchen sink.

14

I had two colonoscopies. Forget the “camera up your ass.” Think more in terms of “TV station including the 6:00 anchor team up your ass followed by a lot of wet farting.”
Not my most treasured memories, to be sure.

15

To Lynn:

He THINKS he knows everything. He opened the bottle and drank it in the kitchen. The sink was closer than anything else. The vomiting was an immediate reflex to that whole bottle hitting his insides.

And yes, he disinfected the damn thing after he finished!
~VOW

16

Well, if he was in the kitchen, then I guess that the kitchen sink was the best available option, as opposed to puking on the floor.

Is he going to listen to you next time? (My money is on “no”)

17

The dude who sits next to me at work just got one. He agonized and fretted over it for nearly a year before even making the appointment. He reported that the prep was indeed the worst part. He had his procedure at 9am and was back at work in the afternoon.

18

To Lynn:

After almost 38 years of marriage, there are just some things that won’t change.

I’ve often said, the reason why we’ve been married so long is that murder is still illegal.
~VOW

19

Because of family history, I have one every 2 years. It’s unpleasant to drink a gallon of anything. The golightly isn’t that bad to taste, it’s just that there’s so damn much of it!

Most Drs. and hospitals will not perform the procedure unless you have a driver. For all the safety reasons cited above. Plus, you will not remember most of what the Doc tells you afterwards.

20

I’m suprised by the differences regarding prep for the same procedure.

I won’t be drinking anything nasty the day before. From what I understand Pico Salax is a powder that’s added to water, and the rest of the day I just have to ensure I drink at least 3litres of clear liquid the day before the procedure. I was giving a list of what I can drink. My choice drink during the day is typically water anways. So it’s water, and I guess for meals it’s broth.

Hmmm… I’m still on the fence if I should ask my sister to be there. Because I know If I tell her she’s going to turn into George Costanza and I’ll have to deal with “OMG IS MENINGITIS ? SCOLIOSIS ? LUPUS? IS IT LUPUS?” She has enough on her plate as it is. So I’ll call back to make sure I don’t need some one there.

Good to know the procedure isn’t very long at all.

Thanks for all the info everyone !