Stupid Santorumisms

[KarlGauss]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

More precisely, the residue of anal sex is named for him.

Of course it is. Because it's God's will.

[elucidator]

Originally Posted by KarlGauss

Of course it is. Because it's God's will.

Yes! Yes! I see it, its coming clear, its all coming into focus......Oh, wait. No, no it isn't. Shit.

[septimus]

From "9 controversial Rick Santorum quotes"

"The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn't want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'We're going to decide who are people and who are not people.'" (CNS News interview, Jan. 19, 2011)

"Is anyone saying same-sex couples can't love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (Santorum's Philadelphia Inquirer column, May 22, 2008)

"The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American Left who hates Christendom. ... What I'm talking about is onward American soldiers. What we're talking about are core American values." (South Carolina campaign stop, Feb. 22, 2011)

"All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis, they're not Palestinians. There is no 'Palestinian.' This is Israeli land." (Campaign stop in Iowa, Nov. 18, 2011)

"Would the potential attraction to Mormonism by simply having a Mormon in the White House threaten traditional Christianity by leading more Americans to a church that some Christians believe misleadingly calls itself Christian, is an active missionary church, and a dangerous cult?" (Santorum's Philadelphia Inquirer column, Dec. 20, 2007)

"I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money." (Campaign stop in Iowa, Jan. 2, 2012)

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. ... That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing." (AP interview, April 7, 2003)

[my underlinings]

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by KarlGauss

Of course it is. Because it's God's will.

It's an interesting question why God wants Santorum's name to be associated with purportedly the most vile of sexual acts. Also an interesting question is why God designed people so anal sex is so... convenient.

[BrainGlutton]

Santorum: "The dangers of carbon dioxide? Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is."

[Yumblie]

Flood waters destroying homes in New Orleans? Tell that to a fish, the dangers of water!

Mr Santorum, do you realize that the same Science! that belies the "hoax" of global warming is also the source of your beloved fact that plants need carbon dioxide to live?

[Bryan Ekers]

Seems to me a thread listing smart things Santorum has said would pose more of a challenge.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic

Santorum says: Victims of rape who get pregnant should accept their "gift" of a baby, and "accept what God has given to you."

Back in the day, it was Zeus Himself who did the raping. Can't imagine how Zeus would have felt had Leda gotten an abortion or made an omelette for Tyndareus.

[Mr. Greenjeans]

Rick on Puerto Rican statehood:

Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language.

Wrong again, Rick.

[BrainGlutton]

Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English if you want statehood:

Puerto Ricans, who recognize both English and Spanish as their official languages, are scheduled to vote in November on a referendum to decide whether they want to pursue statehood or remain a self-governing U.S. commonwealth.

In an interview with El Vocero newspaper, Santorum said he supported Puerto Ricans' right to self-determination regarding the island's political status.

"We need to work together and determine what type of relationship we want to develop," he told the newspaper.

But Santorum said he did not support a state in which English was not the primary language.

"Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law," Santorum said. "And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language."

However, the U.S. Constitution does not designate an official language, nor is there a requirement that a territory adopt English as its primary language in order to become a state.

Congress would have to give approval if Puerto Rico is to become the 51st state. Although Congress has considered numerous proposals to make English the official U.S. language, none has ever passed.

There are, I suppose, good arguments one might make against statehood for a non-English-speaking-majority territory -- if nothing else, it would break all precedent, from the beginning of the Republic; and it would require re-examination and redefinition of what the U.S. is, what it is to be American, what is our national culture and what are its outer limits, and whether a territory/people can ever be part of it that does not have a Britain-derived culture and never will, that, as a whole, will never assimilate to the larger American culture as individual immigrants to the mainland eventually do.

But, Santorum cannot seem to think of any relevant arguments, he has to go all RW-constitutionalist and appeal to the authority of the "federal law" (which, after all, can usually/often/sometimes (depending on Congressional party strengths) be changed if a POTUS wants it, so, for a presidential candidate, just citing the federal law doesn't end the discussion).

And make it up, apparently.

[Mr. Greenjeans]

I wish I'd posted that.

[Locrian]

NOW he wants to ban pornography by bringing obscenity cases against pornographic companies including cable and satellite providers.

Ricky-poo: “America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography. Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women. It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking."

Next we'll hear about how every home should have an altar.

[Mr. Greenjeans]

And here's another item on the ever-growing list of things Santorum wants to ban: teleprompters.

"I’ve always believed that when you run for president of the United States,” Santorum recently said in Mississippi, “it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter, because all you’re doing is reading someone else’s words to people.”

What happened to the Republicans who wanted less government?

[gamerunknown]

all you’re doing is reading someone else’s words to people

Yeah, when someone quotes something someone else wrote down to me, I'll inform them that it should be illegal. That way they have to rely on making shit up like Santorum instead of religion.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Originally Posted by Locrian

NOW he wants to ban pornography

History tells us this statement just tripled the odds he will be spotted leaving a pornography store after a 30-45 minute visit. Unfortunately for him, voting is done in private (Pity people can't also pray in private like Jesus told 'em) like proably 99% of porno viewing. It would be fun to get 10,000 random Americans to vote on the issue and see how the actual votes compare to their spoken opinions on the matter.

[Hentor the Barbarian]

It's a savvy move. Only a tiny number of Americans like looking at porn.

[Duke]

Well, on the positive side the internet will run a whole lot faster once 90% of its content is gone.

[Ludovic]

Originally Posted by Mr. Greenjeans

Rick on Puerto Rican statehood:


Wrong again, Rick.

Tell me this, if English wasn't meant to be the official language of America, then why did God write the Bible in English?

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by Locrian

NOW he wants to ban pornography by bringing obscenity cases against pornographic companies including cable and satellite providers.

I haven't gotten my porn from TV since I was 12 years old and trying to catch a corner of a boob around all the scrambles.

Originally Posted by Ludovic

Tell me this, if English wasn't meant to be the official language of America, then why did God write the Bible in English?

That's "Olde" English to be precise. The language God spoke. But he didn't speak this language.

[Kobal2]

Originally Posted by Duke

Well, on the positive side the internet will run a whole lot faster once 90% of its content is gone.

Quoth House M.D., if they took the porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called www. bringbacktheporn.com

[purplehorseshoe]

Quick, somebody buy that domain now. It'll go fast!

[Snowboarder Bo]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

Quoth House M.D., if they took the porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called www. bringbacktheporn.com

This is not only true, it also made me Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there.

[Andy L]

Originally Posted by BrainGlutton

Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English if you want statehood:



There are, I suppose, good arguments one might make against statehood for a non-English-speaking-majority territory -- if nothing else, it would break all precedent, from the beginning of the Republic; and it would require re-examination and redefinition of what the U.S. is, what it is to be American, what is our national culture and what are its outer limits, and whether a territory/people can ever be part of it that does not have a Britain-derived culture and never will, that, as a whole, will never assimilate to the larger American culture as individual immigrants to the mainland eventually do.

Louisiana had a non-English-speaking-majority when it was admitted as a state (http://www.louisianabicentennial2012...tehood-History).

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo

This is not only true, it also made me Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there.

Pornography, political advertising, religious fundamentalism, spam, and your deuced "quarry" posts, are among the greatest challenges to the concept of free speech.

[JRDelirious]

Originally Posted by Mr. Greenjeans

Rick on Puerto Rican statehood:


Wrong again, Rick.

One thing he misses is that once a state is a state, that is once it's admitted and has seated a delegation in Congress, it can then proceed to set up whatever official languages it feels like for their everyday business.

For practical reasons of course any state will use English when dealing with the Feds and other states. Guess what: We do that already.

And his coming here and telling it to our faces is not really brave, it's a cheap way to score points with his reactionary followers at home, knowing that we have no Electoral Votes to punish him with later.


In any case there's a a difference between mandating a common language of communication and mandating cultural assimilation itself -- you can implement the former but the latter either happens or it doesn't and there's little you can do about it. Cultural assimilation as a precondition for statehood has never really been tested from a modern US perspective -- mostly because at the time 35 of the post-13 states were admitted (1790s to 1910s) it was a matter of course that English-speaking White settlers would be in charge and who cared what the previous populations thought.

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by Mr. Greenjeans

And here's another item on the ever-growing list of things Santorum wants to ban: teleprompters.

What happened to the Republicans who wanted less government?

When I was a young Catholic school boy, the nuns used to have a daily inspections, where the boys were all expected to be able to produce a comb and a handkerchief and the girls, a comb, handkerchief, and chapel veil. There were demerits for missing items, but I don't seem to recall any particular reward for months of perfect compliance (not that I ever managed it). I imagine all a kid got out of it (besides a set of beneficial organizational habits) was a sort of smug self-satisfaction.

Sen. Santorum's quote above leads me to suspect that he had his comb and handkerchief EVERY DAY.

[Sitnam]

Well, a teleprompter only displays words from an author who is not the speaker using it, and there is no way a person can give a speech by memory unless he's the creator.

So it looks like a rock solid argument.

[Kobal2]

Originally Posted by Sitnam

Well, a teleprompter only displays words from an author who is not the speaker using it, and there is no way a person can give a speech by memory unless he's the creator.

So it looks like a rock solid argument.

Not to mention, there is absolutely no way whatsoever to read from a ghostwritten speech without a prompter. It's just not done, and has never been done, nor will it ever be done. The current human technology doesn't support it.
We could if we had some form of flat, bright coloured medium that we could contrast with using dark pigments, and invented pictographic systems to convey meaning using said pigments ; but like the Philosopher's Stone people have been talking about it for thousands of years without ever producing anything concrete.

[Ca3799]

Is this the place for funny Santorum headlines? I saw this on MSNBC today:

"Porn industry to Rick Santorum: Butt out"

[Crackrat]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

Quoth House M.D., if they took the porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called www. bringbacktheporn.com

Pretty sure that was actually Dr. Cox from Scrubs.

[Raygun99]

Originally Posted by Trinopus

Pornography, political advertising, religious fundamentalism, spam, and your deuced "quarry" posts, are among the greatest challenges to the concept of free speech.

The only way I see these posts is if other people quote him. It's very annoying of you all.

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya

History tells us this statement just tripled the odds he will be spotted leaving a pornography store after a 30-45 minute visit.

I'll bet it's all man-on-dog pr0n too.

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by Raygun99

The only way I see these posts is if other people quote him. It's very annoying of you all.

I see the problem, and I certainly don't intend serving as an end-run around your boycott, but since I'm not participating in the boycott, I don't see a workable solution.

(I've actually seen jackasses do this strategically, posting to one person, knowing there will be a response, with the goal of having this response visible to people who are ignoring the original poster. I hold that to be exceptionally tacky... Like the stupid old sitcom trope of "Tell your mother I said no." "Tell your father he has no choice." etc. Blarg.)

[Senegoid]

Originally Posted by Ludovic

Tell me this, if English wasn't meant to be the official language of America, then why did God write the Bible in English?

Uh.... Because God's first ministry was to North American native peoples? ( )

[Kobal2]

Originally Posted by Crackrat

Pretty sure that was actually Dr. Cox from Scrubs.

You are absolutely correct.