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  #1  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:13 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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Why does my cat love ME so much?

My cat really loves me. He greets me at the door, purrs whenever I'm near, and sits on me whenever my lap is available. If my lap is not available, he'll sit nearby and stare at my lap. When I'm not in the room he makes a yowling sound that sounds bizarrely like "where are you?"

For him, time is divided into "on Sam," "will be on Sam soon" and "there is no Sam! Why have you forsaken me?"

Other people can hold him without scratching or trouble, but he still twists around looking for me. My daughter's quite upset that Perry seems to hate her - but he doesn't hate her: he simply does not acknowledge her existence. If I'm in the room, then any amount of cat treats and toys will not dissuade him from staring at me, waiting to pounce and purr. This has got worse over time.

I am the one that feeds him, but I've heard that this is not the main factor with cats. It doesn't sound it'd be why he only likes me.

Please don't respond with "your cats own you, they are the secret overlords!" or whatever. He's my pet. I'm going to have his balls cut off soon - this is not what happens if you're the secret owner of someone. I'm just curious about why he loves me SO much and everyone else so little. I mean, he's clearly not averse to cuddles.
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  #2  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:20 PM
Glory Glory is offline
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My cat Serafina worships me and only me. She is terrified of all strangers and will flee immediately. She merely tolerates my husband - not running away but avoiding him. If we're sitting on the couch together and Serafina is on the other side of him, she'll jump on the floor, walk a few steps on the ground, then jump back on the couch in my lap (rather than walking across my husband).

She follows me around like a dog.
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  #3  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:42 PM
Snowboarder Bo Snowboarder Bo is offline
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It is, of course, impossible to offer any meaningful insights or answers to your query unless you provide PICTURES!
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  #4  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:46 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Cats is weird. My cat adores me; my husband's cat adores him. My cat tolerates him and his cat likes me okay, but they LOVE their respective humans. I don't know why they are this way.
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  #5  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:48 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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It is just part of some cats' makeup to attach to one person. We have two cats- one likes both me and my son equally, the other very much prefers me. She follows me from room to room, and she will follow me around outside, meowing quite forlornly if we get separated. She tolerates my son, barely.
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  #6  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:50 PM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Because you're his mummy!

I've read (too lazy to dig it up) that due to their environment pet cats are preserved in a permanently infantile state. When they're kittens they constantly want to be near their mother, and because pets never turn into the slightly disturbing creatures that wild and feral cats actually are, they retain that mommy-love throughout their lives.
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  #7  
Old 03-07-2012, 09:57 PM
Mosier Mosier is offline
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Rule number one for posting threads about your pets is PICTURES. Jeez Sam, it's not like you're new here...
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  #8  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:06 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Because you're his mummy!

I've read (too lazy to dig it up) that due to their environment pet cats are preserved in a permanently infantile state. When they're kittens they constantly want to be near their mother, and because pets never turn into the slightly disturbing creatures that wild and feral cats actually are, they retain that mommy-love throughout their lives.
To make that idea a little more disturbing, here's a Dr. Who clip!
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  #9  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:16 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Because you're his mummy!

I've read (too lazy to dig it up) that due to their environment pet cats are preserved in a permanently infantile state. When they're kittens they constantly want to be near their mother, and because pets never turn into the slightly disturbing creatures that wild and feral cats actually are, they retain that mommy-love throughout their lives.
What I find surprising is his exclusive attachment to me. I can understand him loving me - or someone - a lot more than others - but eschewing every other human is weird. He does still play with the dog.

Here's a terribly unflattering image of me lying back and shooting downwards while he cuddles me:

Perry.
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  #10  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:20 PM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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I <3 Perry
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:21 PM
shijinn shijinn is offline
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if he were a toddler, he would be described as insecure instead of loving.
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  #12  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:29 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
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I have 4 cats in my house, 2 are mine. It wasn't like I had the two and then the other two moved in later, the entry order is all mixed up. But for whatever reason, one of my is obsessed with me, while the other is generally standoffish but much more affectionate with me. The other tow are more even. The thing is I didn't do anything that I know of to encourage different behavior. It is possibly that I unconsciously treated my two differently, but it wasn't intentional and I'm not aware I did so.
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  #13  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:52 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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Originally Posted by shijinn View Post
if he were a toddler, he would be described as insecure instead of loving.
He would! Whenever I get home he shoulders his way past the dog to cuddle me, and this is an excitable JRT, so that's a lot to get past. And this got worse after we went on holiday last year. But he still had food and shelter (our house) and was about eight months old - and when we got back he was totally fixated on ME.

Perry, while trying to get to me.
Perry, in repose for a change.
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  #14  
Old 03-07-2012, 11:07 PM
Two Many Cats Two Many Cats is offline
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You probably pet good.
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  #15  
Old 03-07-2012, 11:07 PM
florez florez is offline
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Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer View Post





Now that was disturbing.
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  #16  
Old 03-07-2012, 11:48 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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Every cat I've known has liked one person in the family more than others.
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Old 03-07-2012, 11:59 PM
hajario hajario is offline
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I have never had a cat but I had a housemate with a cat for a while. At first it was terrified of me and then one day it decided out of the blue that it loved me more than anyone else ever. I never fed it but I would give it the occasional treat but everyone else in the house did too. I never even paid it much attention because I am a dog person and have always been neutral about cats. It didn't make a damn bit of sense.
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  #18  
Old 03-08-2012, 02:12 AM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer View Post
Cats is weird. My cat adores me; my husband's cat adores him. My cat tolerates him and his cat likes me okay, but they LOVE their respective humans. I don't know why they are this way.
Basically, "cats is weird" is gonna be the answer to any question that starts off "Why do cats" or "Why does my cat". There are four cats in the Bodoni household, and two are definitely mine, and two are definitely my husband's. My cats love him, but prefer me. And his think that I'm great, but they are Daddy's kitties. And we've had other cats, and every single cat has been attached to one human more than the other humans in the family.
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  #19  
Old 03-08-2012, 10:45 AM
Snickers Snickers is offline
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One of our cats likes me, but luuurrves my husband. And she's the one I found outside at 3ish weeks old and raised and bottle-fed and everything! The other one loves everyone; she's an equal opportunity cuddler. She usually sits in my lap, but I think she'd sit in anyone's, really.
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  #20  
Old 03-08-2012, 10:57 AM
Springtime for Spacers Springtime for Spacers is offline
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Originally Posted by SciFiSam View Post
He would! Whenever I get home he shoulders his way past the dog to cuddle me, and this is an excitable JRT, so that's a lot to get past. And this got worse after we went on holiday last year. But he still had food and shelter (our house) and was about eight months old - and when we got back he was totally fixated on ME.

Perry, while trying to get to me.
Perry, in repose for a change.
That expression he has in the first pic makes me call him a smuglet -- from smug and snuggle of course.

One of my cats is only interested in attention from me. He can be quite adorable but I have to watch him as he's prone to imperiously demanding my attention in rather unacceptable ways like climbing up my back to pull my hair. I showed him I wasn't at all impressed by this so he's modified it to standing up on his hind legs and patting my head, which is rather sweet.
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  #21  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:36 AM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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Last night, my husband's male cat was doing the ankle twining thing while my husband was walking around doing chores, and I said "Give him to me, I'll hold him". So my husband picked up Charlie and handed him to me. I snuggled him, and petted him (and hugged him and squeezed him but I didn't call him George). Charlie gave the "let me down" wiggle, so I let him down...and he went right back to my husband. He didn't want me, he wanted his Daddy.
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  #22  
Old 03-08-2012, 12:03 PM
CrazyCatLady CrazyCatLady is offline
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Originally Posted by SciFiSam View Post
What I find surprising is his exclusive attachment to me. I can understand him loving me - or someone - a lot more than others - but eschewing every other human is weird. He does still play with the dog.

Here's a terribly unflattering image of me lying back and shooting downwards while he cuddles me:

Perry.
Our younger cat is like that with me. If I'm on the couch, he wants to be right there, touching me. (Ideally either nominally on the couch back with his ass slowly oozing down from my shoulder to my boob, or in the same head on boob pose in your picture. What is it with the boobs, anyway?) If I get up for some reason, he will stalk off to perch somewhere else rather than going to my husband to be petted and snuggled. He's weird, even for a cat.
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  #23  
Old 03-08-2012, 09:06 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
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Originally Posted by Glory View Post
My cat Serafina worships me and only me. She is terrified of all strangers and will flee immediately. She merely tolerates my husband - not running away but avoiding him. If we're sitting on the couch together and Serafina is on the other side of him, she'll jump on the floor, walk a few steps on the ground, then jump back on the couch in my lap (rather than walking across my husband).

She follows me around like a dog.
Your Serafina and my Tikva should form a therapy group together.
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  #24  
Old 03-08-2012, 09:14 PM
Jack Batty Jack Batty is offline
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My cat Mort - who looks remarkably like Perry (except he has no white on his face) - is similar. He is never further than two feet from me when I'm home. I loves to be picked up; he goes limp like a rag doll and will put up with me fucking with him like that for hours. He sleeps with me. He watches me take a shower. He's laying at my feet right now.

Here's the weird thing he does. I feed him at 7:00 every night, and then usually I go up to my little office dealio up stairs and fuck around. He eats a little and then sits at the bottom of the stairs and howls like I've abandoned him and moved to Bolivia. Over and over and over. Then I whistle, like I'm calling a dog, and he comes bounding up the stairs and lays at my feet.

Every friggin' night.

Last edited by Jack Batty; 03-08-2012 at 09:14 PM..
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  #25  
Old 03-08-2012, 09:22 PM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
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My cat loves me and my husband. But she doesn't want either of us to know about the other. She will sit in my lap, but if he walks in the room, she will immediately jump down, as if to say, "What, I wasn't on her lap...I don't know what your talking about..."

Same thing for him, if I walk into the room.
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  #26  
Old 03-08-2012, 10:27 PM
DeathFighterEMS DeathFighterEMS is offline
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So instead of going on with my own cat story like every one else here (no offense to those that responded but I find it strange yet predictable that almost everyone does this instead of try to actually answer), I'll try to answer your question. It could be anything from possibly that someone abused your cat as a kitten and now he doesn't trust anyone but you, he might think of you as his mom, or maybe it's just his personality, not exactly unheard of for a pet to like one person more than anyone else. But in reality, only your cat knows the truth.
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  #27  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:43 PM
Mosier Mosier is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathFighterEMS View Post
So instead of going on with my own cat story like every one else here (no offense to those that responded but I find it strange yet predictable that almost everyone does this instead of try to actually answer), I'll try to answer your question. It could be anything from possibly that someone abused your cat as a kitten and now he doesn't trust anyone but you, he might think of you as his mom, or maybe it's just his personality, not exactly unheard of for a pet to like one person more than anyone else. But in reality, only your cat knows the truth.
This forum is specifically for the types of responses you see in this thread. There's a different forum for questions seeking actual answers.

Personally I think people are too quick to attribute quirky pet behavior to abuse. Most people aren't psychotic and won't deliberately hurt an animal.

Pets picking a "favorite" human isn't exactly rare. The OP obviously is the only one in the house who knows how to pet right.
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  #28  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:52 PM
Tamerlane Tamerlane is offline
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One thing about cats, they aren't pack-driven like dogs. So they don't have quite the same motivation to try to get along socially with more than one individual in a social milieu. Not saying all dogs do - some are pretty partial as well or even solitary. But even if a dog prefers one person, with most breeds they will usually be sociable with everyone in the pack because group cohesion demands it. My neighbor's dogs prefer their owners, but they do really like me and obviously consider me "part of the pack." I've seen them most days since they were puppies, I play with them and have fed them at times, hence I'm accepted. Some dogs are super-discriminating, some adopt the world. But almost all are group-oriented.

Domestic cats aren't that kind of social. But they ARE social. Pair-bonding is common in both pet and feral cats. A cat may chose to adore one individual and tolerate/hate/fear the rest, because relationships are more individual rather than part of a pack hiearchy. Plus what Jjimm said about faux-maternal bonds .

Last edited by Tamerlane; 03-08-2012 at 11:54 PM..
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  #29  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:58 PM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathFighterEMS View Post
So instead of going on with my own cat story like every one else here (no offense to those that responded but I find it strange yet predictable that almost everyone does this instead of try to actually answer), I'll try to answer your question. It could be anything from possibly that someone abused your cat as a kitten and now he doesn't trust anyone but you, he might think of you as his mom, or maybe it's just his personality, not exactly unheard of for a pet to like one person more than anyone else. But in reality, only your cat knows the truth.
Well, we've already answered the question. The answer is "cats is weird", and now we're just reassuring ourselves that yes, cats IS weird, but lovably so.

We need to remember that we love them because otherwise we'd strangle them. For instance, about five hours ago my husband rushed my male cat to the emergency vet. Urinary tract blockage, and it looks like we're gonna have to drop $2K on getting him well again. It's a damn good thing for the cat that we love him so.
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  #30  
Old 03-09-2012, 01:11 AM
DeathFighterEMS DeathFighterEMS is offline
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Lol cat is weird sounds like a good diagnosis to me. My dog is a weirdo too. And for a Red Golden he's super weird. Hope your cat is ok. Wait a sec did you say $2000?!Holy cat bladder batman, that's gonna take a few thousand weekends of mowing the lawn for your cat to...oh wait, nevermind.
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  #31  
Old 03-09-2012, 01:16 AM
Rachellelogram Rachellelogram is offline
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My mom's cat is a soul-binder, too, but she's fickle. When I lived with my mom for several months, the cat glommed on to me and completely eschewed my mom's company. After I moved out, she bonded with my mom again and doesn't even seem to remember me. I blame midichlorians.
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  #32  
Old 03-09-2012, 01:36 AM
Maiira Maiira is offline
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Yup, Beetle luuuuuurves my dad.

This is hilarious because dad's reaction to our bringing her in shivering from the cold November evening was to groan "ANOTHER cat??" He then made us go door to door to see if she belonged to anyone.

Now whenever she stares up at him all adoringly, we're always quick to remind her "y'know, B, he would've left you out in the cold."
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  #33  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:12 AM
SticksAndString SticksAndString is offline
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We have beeen owned by our cat, Rumpleteazer, for the duration of our 13 year marriage. At first, she preferred Hubs over me but the last few years as she's gotten older and I became a SAHM, she's gotten to where she likes to glom onto me. Right now, she's sitting next to me on the couch, leaning up against me. Sometimes, she climbs on the couch or chair behind me so she can lick the back of my head, like I'm too stupid to groom myself or something. ROFL

She doesn't mind hanging by her lonesome, esp if that means she can lay in the warm spot in the bedroom. But she prefers hanging all over me when she can.
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  #34  
Old 03-09-2012, 11:10 AM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Originally Posted by Lynn Bodoni View Post
<snip>
We need to remember that we love them because otherwise we'd strangle them. <snip>
No kidding - one of my cat's favourite pastimes is throwing herself at the bedroom door and howling in the middle of the night.

Hope kitty's feeling better soon!
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  #35  
Old 03-09-2012, 11:17 AM
Taomist Taomist is offline
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The feeding might imprinted itself in ways you can't change. I used to be the one that fed the cats their gushy food in the mornings, 'cause when we first got them, I wasn't working. That only lasted 6 months; think I fed them sometimes in the morning after that, but usually Mr.Tao is up earlier than me, and he'll get to it first.

Nonetheless, if I am up, even in another room, at the time they want feedings, they will follow me around waiting for it, even if Mr.Tao's in the other room opening cans and calling them to chow-time. They just are STUCK on the thought that *I* am the one that gives them snacks. I have to pick them up and BRING them out to the food, and they still look at me, then the plate, then me, as if to say "WOW, MOM IS MAGIC!!'

Of course, I am also the total pushover, so maybe they're trying to double-dutch on the snacks, lol.

Last edited by Taomist; 03-09-2012 at 11:18 AM..
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  #36  
Old 03-09-2012, 11:24 AM
Taomist Taomist is offline
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
My cat loves me and my husband. But she doesn't want either of us to know about the other. She will sit in my lap, but if he walks in the room, she will immediately jump down, as if to say, "What, I wasn't on her lap...I don't know what your talking about..."

Same thing for him, if I walk into the room.

Haha, sounds like our smallest. I pick her up, flip her on her back and cuddle her like a baby, just to carry her down the hall or walk around for a minute or what-not. Never for long, 'cause she HATES IT. Or so she would have MrTao think, as she will be totally fine with this cuddling until MrTao SEES her. Then she starts squirming like she's on fire and I'm torturing her; she gets down, runs over to daddy, and ignores me completely...until he leaves the room. Then she comes back up to me and rubs on me until I pick her up again, lol.

catz is catz
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  #37  
Old 03-09-2012, 11:28 AM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Possibly because the sex is the best ever?
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  #38  
Old 03-09-2012, 02:44 PM
Tapiotar Tapiotar is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm View Post
Because pets never turn into the slightly disturbing creatures that wild and feral cats actually are
Inside every cat, there is a hidden tiger
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  #39  
Old 03-09-2012, 02:47 PM
Tapiotar Tapiotar is offline
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People have others they like or dislike, love or really love, so why shouldn't cats? Plus modern life, where they are kept indoors and dependent, instead of being able to roam and hunt, messes with their psyches even more than cublicle work life or standing at assembly lines screws up ours.

He's gorgeous, Sam, and looks like a great cuddler.
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  #40  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:09 PM
Jack Batty Jack Batty is offline
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Well, I'm pretty sure my cat treats me the way he does because A) I'm the only person he's ever known - I got him when he was a kitten. He does warm up to visitors, more to repeat visitors, so he's not completely anti-social.

And 2) I've never given him a reason to dislike me. In fact, I made a point of it to man-handle him as much as possible when he was a kitten and now ... like clockwork, not only is he used to it, he loves it.
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  #41  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:39 PM
kath94 kath94 is offline
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
My cat loves me and my husband. But she doesn't want either of us to know about the other. She will sit in my lap, but if he walks in the room, she will immediately jump down, as if to say, "What, I wasn't on her lap...I don't know what your talking about..."

Same thing for him, if I walk into the room.
My cat, Blue (RIP) used to do that, too! She was a snuggle bug with either myself or my husband, but as soon as we were both in the room she would play aloof. It got to be a game of ours. My husband would call out from another room, "I've got a cat" and I could tell him, "not for long" and walk into the room. Boom! Cat jumps down, pretends neither of us exists.

Our current cat, Squirt, splits her time between us, but prefers it if we're in the same room. I think she's a bit more bonded to the Mister, if only because he works from home. She'll walk all over him, settle on the sofa near him for a few minutes, then walk over to me, walk over me, then back to him. If either of us leave the house she wails & moans at the door for 15 minutes. There are definitely some separation anxiety issues. Kitty Prozac, anyone?
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  #42  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:12 PM
perfectparanoia perfectparanoia is offline
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My cat is similar. She is always within 5 feet of me when I am at home. When I leave, she sits by the door for several minutes to see if I am coming back now. She sleeps on my chest under the covers. She talks to me. She constantly wants scritches.

Other people, just seem to be invisible to her. She tolerates some people (i.e. will stay in the same room with them) but only if she has known them a long time.

I accredit it to the fact that she was only about 6 weeks when I got her and that for the first few months of her life I was her only companion.

I honestly don't analyze it too much. It's just nice to be loved.
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  #43  
Old 03-10-2012, 05:30 AM
mage-girl mage-girl is offline
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Why does my cat love ME so much?

I've often thought about this. My mom lives with me, and we each have a cat.
Somehow, despite the fact Mom is the one who feeds the cats 3 out of 4 times, my cat has no confusion as to who he "belongs" to. He sleeps with me, looks at me when I talk, and will come with me when I tell him to ("Naptime, Vincent! Naptime!").
I am friendly with her cat, but he is obviously attached to her.
We've speculated that it may be that our tone of voice is slightly different when we talk to "our" cat, and that is what the cat is responding to.
But who knows?
(Sorry no pics; don't have them saved online.)
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  #44  
Old 03-10-2012, 07:34 AM
ptr2void ptr2void is offline
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Yes, this seems like common behavior. Both my cats (Ragdolls) are pretty much MY cats, but the female in particular is very enamored of me. The wife calls her my girlfriend. She is always following me around like a puppy. When I come home from anywhere she's waiting for me at the door and talking a mile a minute. If I even stand outside the storm door where she can see me, she's stretching herself up the window and meowing.

Then there's the nightly TV-watching routine of using me as a couch/bed.

I love my cats so much
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  #45  
Old 03-11-2012, 03:45 AM
Gukumatz Gukumatz is offline
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One of our cats is a non-discriminatory cuddler and will cuddle everything and anyone. The other one is only happy when she can sleep on/next to me, for some reason. Leading to some pretty bizarre sleeping positions. Very occasionally, they'll settle into an armistice and both sleep on me, but never on my SO.
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  #46  
Old 07-03-2012, 04:32 PM
freakkychickk freakkychickk is offline
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I Love That Episode! Its One Of My Favorite Episodes Of That Show
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Old 07-03-2012, 05:04 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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OP, consider this. 3 cats live in my house: My stepcat Tigger, who belonged to the wife before we were married; the common-law cat Chiken, acquired primarily to show Tigger that all humans aren't evil oppressors who need to be hissed at and attacked in the dark (it worked); and Skittles the mostly-dead stray runt the neighbor found under his shed.

They are all quite social and affectionate to the humans. Tigger now thinks I'm a swell guy but is still her mamma's cat. Skittles could take or leave me, and Chicken has become my dog. I have no idea why he picked me, but I have to wonder if it's because I picked him first. I mean, I'm nice to all the cats, but maybe a little extra nice to him. In return, he's loving to everyone, but he will seek me out, stand in my lap, throw his arms around my neck and nuzzle me like crazy--nobody else gets that from him.
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