April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread)

[Springtime for Spacers]

Originally Posted by Mince

I roast Thin Lizzy's song Jailbreak.



Somewhere? Uh, how about at the jailhouse guys.






(Yeah, I'm drunk. Do something.)

Must have been written someplace like Doncaster, they have half a dozen or so prisons there.

[Springtime for Spacers]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

He didn't work there.

Would still have been funny to set the manager on him.

[Chimera]

Seriously dad. The car dealership only wanted to run a credit check on you. I know, it's silly, you're paying cash and the check will clear before you pick up the car. That's no reason to declare that you will never do business with them again. There's also no reason to go into coded racist talk about 'them' when they say they have to do it on everyone nowadays. It is a stupid/criminal thing, not a racial thing dumbass.

Oh, and don't tell me that I have to accept my sister's insults and anger in silence because I said NO when, without asking me first if I was even interested in it, she promised her friend that she would buy their car from them and then make me make payments on it to her. A car that is older than the one I have with as many miles on it. Of course I'm not interested in it! She had no right to make that commitment without speaking to me first, no right to be angry with me for merely turning it down and a fuckload less of a right to stop talking to me over it. She can fucking grow up.

[Cat Whisperer]

Yup, you're right - she didn't have any right to do any of those things. I hope she does grow up (but if this is the sister you've posted about who keeps on acting like an idiot), it doesn't sound like she ever will.

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by Chimera

I guess that's where I'd be looking for a manager.

"Hey, I asked one of your people a question and he yelled at me about it because he was involved in a personal phone call on your time."

As Alice the Goon noted, he didn't work there.
I am contemplating a letter to the store because the way he dressed and the manner he was mucking around with the plants suggests to me that he may have been some sort of supplier to the store.

Against that, he would be almost impossible to identify conclusively and the old gentleman didn't seem overly concerned himself- maybe due to his hearing aids he didn't catch most of it.

I just don't understand the need to be like that. (Also makes me wish I was 30 years younger and a lot fitter).

[Dr. Girlfriend]

Why oh why oh why do I keep going into Walmart?* The trip wasn't so bad this time, no screaming kids running amok, no aisles blocked by gossipers, they actually had all the items I was looking for, the store was clean. Until I get to the checkout...

This store was built with 27 checkout lanes. Three were being manned. No U-scans at this store either. (The lack of U-scans caused a big kerfuffle that I can share if anyone is interested.) People were stacked eight and nine deep in the checkout lanes. I know, I had plenty of time to count. I spent more time in line than I did in the actual store.

*Why do I go? They're the only store in town that carries these powdered coffee things I love... sigh. Am I griping more about the store or my addiction to these coffee things? I dunno...

[flatlined]

Originally Posted by dba Fred

Why’s that? You’re engaged, not married.

Am I doing this wrong? I thought that we were supposed to have wild swinging from the rafters sex every time we got 5 minutes alone during the courtship and then move to missionary with the lights out once a weekend after we got married. At least that's what most of my divorced friends say happens.

I honestly use that on a couple of homophobes in the club when they are ranting about same sex marriage. "If you don't like gay sex, let them get married, adopt a kid or 2 and buy a house. They will be so stressed that the icky sex thing will stop. Isn't that what happened with you?"

We are officially engaged...or not. Bill's cat gets along with my cats. They aren't sharing food or grooming each other, but they can be in the same room without doing the feral scream and trying to kill each other. There has been some hissing and raised paws, but no contact.

However, yesterday, I learned that Bill isn't a real Texan. We were talking about what I would bring with me and what I'd give away. Both of us are bibliophiles, so he went through my books and put postit notes on the duplicate ones. The bookcases will move. I'll bring one kitty tree and he will buy more before I move...so the cats can have new stuff to scratch up.

Then we moved to my gun safes. Yes, I do have 2 fridge sized gunsafes. I opened them and he asked "Do you really need all of those guns?" When I challanged him, because no real Texan would question the need, he confessed that he had been born in Tennessee.

I feel so betrayed, so bereft. I thought I knew him and now I've learned that he's a fake Texan. What else is he hiding?!?

[The Vorlon]

flatlined---remember there ARE some things that TX frowns upon the sale of, that you will need to bring with you. After all, Bill might need a rest every once in a while.......

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by Dr. Girlfriend

Why oh why oh why do I keep going into Walmart?* The trip wasn't so bad this time, no screaming kids running amok, no aisles blocked by gossipers, they actually had all the items I was looking for, the store was clean. Until I get to the checkout...

This store was built with 27 checkout lanes. Three were being manned. No U-scans at this store either. (The lack of U-scans caused a big kerfuffle that I can share if anyone is interested.) People were stacked eight and nine deep in the checkout lanes. I know, I had plenty of time to count. I spent more time in line than I did in the actual store.

Y'know, back a few years ago, there was a supermarket chain out here that had a "Three's a crowd" policy (if any checkstand gets three deep in customers, you holler out "Three's a Crowd!" and they open another checkstand, or they give you a buck in store credit for your next visit). The most salient result of this policy I can recall is that the chain got taken over by another chain a few years later, but that's not important to me. These days, if I see unacceptably long lines at all of the checkstands, I'll holler out "Three's a Crowd!"

Sometimes it actually works and a new checkstand opens. When it's Wal-Mart, I just take my purchases to the jewelry counter.

Why yes, I do consider that waiting at checkstands is something I shouldn't have to do; why do you ask?

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by flatlined

Am I doing this wrong? I thought that we were supposed to have wild swinging from the rafters sex every time we got 5 minutes alone during the courtship and then move to missionary with the lights out once a weekend after we got married. At least that's what most of my divorced friends say happens.

I honestly use that on a couple of homophobes in the club when they are ranting about same sex marriage. "If you don't like gay sex, let them get married, adopt a kid or 2 and buy a house. They will be so stressed that the icky sex thing will stop. Isn't that what happened with you?"

We are officially engaged...or not. Bill's cat gets along with my cats. They aren't sharing food or grooming each other, but they can be in the same room without doing the feral scream and trying to kill each other. There has been some hissing and raised paws, but no contact.

However, yesterday, I learned that Bill isn't a real Texan. We were talking about what I would bring with me and what I'd give away. Both of us are bibliophiles, so he went through my books and put postit notes on the duplicate ones. The bookcases will move. I'll bring one kitty tree and he will buy more before I move...so the cats can have new stuff to scratch up.

Then we moved to my gun safes. Yes, I do have 2 fridge sized gunsafes. I opened them and he asked "Do you really need all of those guns?" When I challanged him, because no real Texan would question the need, he confessed that he had been born in Tennessee.

I feel so betrayed, so bereft. I thought I knew him and now I've learned that he's a fake Texan. What else is he hiding?!?

Seeing as Davy Crockett was born in Tennessee, I'd say he's at least following a respectable precedent...

[SpazCat]

Originally Posted by flatlined

Then we moved to my gun safes. Yes, I do have 2 fridge sized gunsafes. I opened them and he asked "Do you really need all of those guns?" When I challanged him, because no real Texan would question the need, he confessed that he had been born in Tennessee.

I feel so betrayed, so bereft. I thought I knew him and now I've learned that he's a fake Texan. What else is he hiding?!?

The Tennesseeans I know wouldn't question multiple gun safes. Are you sure he's legit?

[StarvingButStrong]

He's just worrying about the first time they have a SERIOUS fight.

[Anne Neville]

Originally Posted by flatlined

When I challanged him, because no real Texan would question the need, he confessed that he had been born in Tennessee.

I feel so betrayed, so bereft. I thought I knew him and now I've learned that he's a fake Texan. What else is he hiding?!?

At least he wasn't born in New York City, like Hank Hill

[Cat Whisperer]

I'm looking forward to the "No True Texan" meme.

[chizzuk]

Sending one Praxis score report to ASHA for a certification application costs forty dollars. One little piece of paper.

Fuck you, ETS. What a racket that company is.

[living_in_hell]

I'm pitting myself for engaging with adult women who act like middle school girls.

[flatlined]

I had to get the last word in here...just to say that you folks managed to make me laugh so hard that I scared the cats

[living_in_hell]

Originally Posted by flatlined

I had to get the last word in here...just to say that you folks managed to make me laugh so hard that I scared the cats

Hi Flatlined! now go post in the May thread.