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  #1  
Old 04-08-2012, 02:13 PM
Mrs. Cake Mrs. Cake is offline
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My Husband Said I am the Best Wife

Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.
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  #2  
Old 04-08-2012, 02:28 PM
AuntiePam AuntiePam is offline
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You did good. And so did he.

On my husband's 50th birthday, I gave him 50 one dollar bills for the stripper bar. "Just don't come home with glitter on your face!"
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  #3  
Old 04-08-2012, 02:40 PM
Khadaji Khadaji is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake View Post
Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.
I'd have been happy with a blow job on my birthday.
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  #4  
Old 04-08-2012, 02:41 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Yes, but wife #2 tries harder!
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  #5  
Old 04-08-2012, 03:39 PM
Foggy Foggy is offline
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Originally Posted by AuntiePam View Post
You did good. And so did he.

On my husband's 50th birthday, I gave him 50 one dollar bills for the stripper bar. "Just don't come home with glitter on your face!"
Really? I would be more upset if he came home with glitter in a different place.
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  #6  
Old 04-08-2012, 03:45 PM
medstar medstar is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake View Post
Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.

I hope you brushed your teeth afterwards!






::d&r::
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  #7  
Old 04-08-2012, 03:45 PM
Malacandra Malacandra is online now
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Originally Posted by Khadaji View Post
I'd have been happy with a blow job on my birthday.
Me too. Or a Ferrari, if we're trying to be realistic.
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  #8  
Old 04-08-2012, 05:35 PM
Typo Knig Typo Knig is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake View Post
Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.
As a guy I have to say you could have saved yourself the price of a nook and a good bottle of whiskey. But we appreciate the extra ... Naw, a second blowjob will be great!
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  #9  
Old 04-08-2012, 05:50 PM
RickJay RickJay is offline
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Originally Posted by Khadaji View Post
I'd have been happy with a blow job on my birthday.
I'll gladly take one on any of my 364 unbirthdays.
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  #10  
Old 04-08-2012, 06:44 PM
drewtwo99 drewtwo99 is offline
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Are blowjobs between married straight couples a relatively rare/special occurrence for most people?

As a gay man who sees blowjobs and handjobs as the typical go-to form of sex 60% of the time or more, I'm genuinely curious...
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  #11  
Old 04-08-2012, 06:53 PM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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I become disheartened when I hear that for a lot of men a blowjob is something that they get "for their birthday" or whatever. We might be getting our blowjobs from different kinds of people, drewtwo, but I share your sentiment.
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  #12  
Old 04-08-2012, 08:36 PM
Chef Troy Chef Troy is offline
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Damn, you ARE the best wife.

I don't even get a goddamned blowjob on Steak and Blowjob Day.

Christ, I didn't even get the steak!
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  #13  
Old 04-08-2012, 08:39 PM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is online now
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Threads like this make me feel lonely.
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  #14  
Old 04-08-2012, 09:27 PM
Typo Knig Typo Knig is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drewtwo99 View Post
Are blowjobs between married straight couples a relatively rare/special occurrence for most people?

As a gay man who sees blowjobs and handjobs as the typical go-to form of sex 60% of the time or more, I'm genuinely curious...
Whatever the statistics, I imagine that very few guys want less sex with their long-term romantic partner.
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  #15  
Old 04-09-2012, 12:16 AM
DianaG DianaG is offline
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Originally Posted by drewtwo99 View Post
Are blowjobs between married straight couples a relatively rare/special occurrence for most people?
Never been married, but a number of long-term relationships, and I routinely give my boyfriends blowjobs on MY birthday, because I don't see any reason for that day to be different. (Hey, I LIKE giving blowjobs, I doubt that I'm alone in that.) I think (or at least hope) that the dearth of sex in marriage is highly exaggerated.

I also routinely keep good whiskey in the house. I stock it the same as coffee or shampoo. It's on the "things we need to live" list.

That said; Mrs. Cake, well done. It's a privilege and a pleasure to keep a good man (or a good woman) happy.
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  #16  
Old 04-09-2012, 02:03 AM
scootergirl scootergirl is offline
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Originally Posted by drewtwo99 View Post
Are blowjobs between married straight couples a relatively rare/special occurrence for most people?
As a gay man who sees blowjobs and handjobs as the typical go-to form of sex 60% of the time or more, I'm genuinely curious...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DianaG View Post
Never been married, but a number of long-term relationships, and I routinely give my boyfriends blowjobs on MY birthday, because I don't see any reason for that day to be different. (Hey, I LIKE giving blowjobs, I doubt that I'm alone in that.) I think (or at least hope) that the dearth of sex in marriage is highly exaggerated.
Me too, I find it to be one of the aspects of intimacy that turns me on the most. I don't need a special occasion to want to please my lover (and myself) in this way . Sure, celebratory days such as birthdays are extra special, but any ol' day will do.

drewtwo99 - I'm not sure about other couples, but I have known of many women friends throughout my life that find blowjobs a "chore"... and out of the realms of what they feel they want to put out for their SO. Granted, most of the women I'm talking about are, or had been with their partners for quite a while and were losing interest in sex period. I understand why the spark goes out in some relationships, but I'm not sure why more folks don't do anything about it when they see it happening. I, for one, need passion in my life. I need it like I need air. I get grumpy without it.
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  #17  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:45 AM
Cicero Cicero is offline
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If it was his 30th birthday you should have given him 30 blow jobs. You unthinking monster!
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  #18  
Old 04-09-2012, 05:13 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake View Post
Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.
You mean that not an everyday thing? I thought it was standard, came with the license.

You have put me off marriage.













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  #19  
Old 04-09-2012, 06:37 AM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is offline
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Was it a color Nook?
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  #20  
Old 04-09-2012, 06:54 AM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is offline
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Oh, my bad. Nevermind - I didn't realize that one model os called the "Nook Tablet." and of course that one has color. I really need to get out of this Luddite phase.
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  #21  
Old 04-09-2012, 08:29 AM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is online now
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Originally Posted by AK84 View Post
You mean that not an everyday thing? I thought it was standard, came with the license.
I dunno. That much whiskey would be bad for your health.
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  #22  
Old 04-09-2012, 08:31 AM
corkboard corkboard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drewtwo99 View Post
Are blowjobs between married straight couples a relatively rare/special occurrence for most people?

As a gay man who sees blowjobs and handjobs as the typical go-to form of sex 60% of the time or more, I'm genuinely curious...
Married 14 years, known each other for about 25- I still get 1-2 blowjobs a week. More often than I get whiskey, actually.
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  #23  
Old 04-09-2012, 08:34 AM
Cicero Cicero is offline
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Married 14 years, known each other for about 25- I still get 1-2 blowjobs a week. More often than I get whiskey, actually.
Does your wife know about this?
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  #24  
Old 04-09-2012, 09:37 AM
don't ask don't ask is offline
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So was he reading something on the tablet, drinking a nice tumbler of good whiskey while getting the blowjob?

If not, he was probably just being kind.
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  #25  
Old 04-09-2012, 09:52 AM
El Burro Buenmozo El Burro Buenmozo is offline
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Reading this thread is depressing

It looks as though there are plenty of women who enjoy giving blow jobs, but maybe it's just dopers. I've had several long term relationships and a total of three would do it somewhat regularly. One, a doper that I dated about twelve years ago, gave frequent, skilful, enthusiastic blow jobs. I broke up with her because I am a fool.As for now my soon to be ex wouldn't think of it and hasn't since we were dating. I used to resent the bait & switch until I resolved to leave her (not because of blow jobs)
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  #26  
Old 04-09-2012, 10:35 AM
El Burro Buenmozo El Burro Buenmozo is offline
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Sorry Mrs. Cake, I just realized my post was a total hijack. Sincere apologies. What I MEANT to say was you ARE a good wife and the world needs more of you. (good wives, that is)
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  #27  
Old 04-09-2012, 10:44 AM
Capt Kirk Capt Kirk is offline
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Best wife ever, do you have a sister?
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  #28  
Old 04-09-2012, 11:13 AM
tim-n-va tim-n-va is offline
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Not enough info but if you only give BJs on his birthday you are not a good wife but you have him fooled which might be enough.
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  #29  
Old 04-09-2012, 11:19 AM
StusBlues StusBlues is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake View Post
Just because I gave him a Nook Tablet, a bottle of good whiskey, and a blow job for his birthday.

You guys are so easy to placate.
This sounds like a great, great birthday. You done good.
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  #30  
Old 04-09-2012, 11:23 AM
Procrustus Procrustus is offline
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Mrs. Cake, you have inspired me to thank my wife for all she does. Having lived many years in a marriage where blow jobs (and more than occasional sex) would have been unthinkable, I never want to take a great sexual relationship for granted. Thanks for the reminder.
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  #31  
Old 04-09-2012, 12:31 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Mrs. Cake, good on ya for knowing what your guy likes. That said I can't stand whiskey, prefer books when I do get a chance to read, and while I'd rarely decline a BJ, prefer face to face lovin. But my woman knows all that. She also knows I want a body kit for my project car. Coincedentally, I should be at a point where I can install one right around my berfday.
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  #32  
Old 04-09-2012, 03:06 PM
Napier Napier is offline
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Damn, Mrs. Cake, you're OK!!
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  #33  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:34 PM
gracer gracer is online now
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OK Mrs. Cake (& everyone else in this thread), help me out please! SO's birthday is coming up soon and you are clearly an expert husband-happy-maker

BJ is a definite, but like for some others in this thread that's a very regular occurrence anyway (has been for over 10yrs, will certainly not change, it's my favourite part, along with all the others)

He's not a big whiskey lover, but we usually have some around. Nook/kindle is an idea... but I think he likes books. He underlines bits in books.

So was there anything else you had ready on the list, any back-up ideas? Let me follow in your footsteps, o wise pleaser of husbands!
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  #34  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:35 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Two blowjobs?
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  #35  
Old 04-10-2012, 05:06 AM
Nava Nava is offline
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Originally Posted by gracer View Post
He's not a big whiskey lover, but we usually have some around. Nook/kindle is an idea... but I think he likes books. He underlines bits in books.
You can underline bits and add sidenotes in Kindles.
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  #36  
Old 04-10-2012, 09:07 AM
corkboard corkboard is offline
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Anal?
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  #37  
Old 04-10-2012, 09:28 AM
StusBlues StusBlues is offline
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Originally Posted by gracer View Post
BJ is a definite, but like for some others in this thread that's a very regular occurrence anyway (has been for over 10yrs, will certainly not change, it's my favourite part, along with all the others)
I don't think the point was ever that said oral gratification was rare, just that it's always nice.

And, frankly, the best think a man can receive on his birthday is sincere appreciation. That can come in the form of a Porshe, a bottle of Jameson, an autographed copy of his favorite book, or a great video game if that's what he's into.

BJs always work, though.
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  #38  
Old 04-10-2012, 10:02 AM
gracer gracer is online now
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Originally Posted by Nava View Post
You can underline bits and add sidenotes in Kindles.
Ah, cool, thanks That is an idea then...
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  #39  
Old 04-10-2012, 12:26 PM
xanthous xanthous is offline
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Anal?
FTW.
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  #40  
Old 04-10-2012, 05:17 PM
EvilTOJ EvilTOJ is offline
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I don't get blowjobs that often, even though we fuck like rabbits that just got out of prison. It's nice as an appetizer, but I get impatient and bored and want to get down to the fuckin'. My girlfriend doesn't really like giving blowjobs due to some childhood family trauma, so it works out for both of us.
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  #41  
Old 04-10-2012, 07:13 PM
Yeticus Rex Yeticus Rex is offline
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Hopefully, he had his Cake, and ate her too.
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  #42  
Old 04-10-2012, 07:59 PM
Zjestika Zjestika is offline
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I took my husband to Fogo de Chao for his birthday a couple weeks ago and sat with him for 3 hours while he ate all the meat and a whole bottle of wine. I'm serving massive pregnant realness, so the funnest I get right now is decent conversation and trying to keep the minute by minute narration of my weird body happenings to a minimum. I got a "best wife" too, though.
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  #43  
Old 04-10-2012, 09:01 PM
Dangerosa Dangerosa is offline
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Mrs. Cake, you can't be the best wife because my husband tells me I am.

And gracer, I get my husband lingerie for his birthday, in my size
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  #44  
Old 04-10-2012, 10:48 PM
Rick Rick is offline
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Hopefully, he had his Cake, and ate her too.
41 posts to get to the have the cake and eat too joke.
I was wondering when it was going to appear.
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  #45  
Old 04-10-2012, 11:22 PM
Typo Knig Typo Knig is offline
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Mrs. Cake, you can't be the best wife because my husband tells me I am.

And gracer, I get my husband lingerie for his birthday, in my size
Doesn't the lingerie get all stretched out after he wears it?
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  #46  
Old 04-12-2012, 05:51 PM
Ura-Maru Ura-Maru is offline
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Two blowjobs?
I disagree. It'd be more memorable if she only gave half of the blowjob in question

--
More dakka isn't always the best solution . . .
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  #47  
Old 04-12-2012, 05:56 PM
gracer gracer is online now
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I disagree. It'd be more memorable if she only gave half of the blowjob in question

--
More dakka isn't always the best solution . . .
Hmm yeah, maybe half a blow job and just one boob covered by the lingerie set?

Mrs. Cake, am I getting it right?
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  #48  
Old 04-12-2012, 06:47 PM
Ura-Maru Ura-Maru is offline
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Well, the (not serious) idea was that there would be a whole blow job, but you would only give half of it.

--
This was harder than I'd thought. I spent almost 5 minutes trying to come up with the right level of subtlety, and I still blew it. Clearly, I suck at this.
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  #49  
Old 04-12-2012, 08:48 PM
ToeJam ToeJam is offline
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and I still blew it. Clearly, I suck at this.
I think you're doing just fine.
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  #50  
Old 04-13-2012, 02:47 AM
gracer gracer is online now
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Originally Posted by Ura-Maru View Post
Well, the (not serious) idea was that there would be a whole blow job, but you would only give half of it.

--
This was harder than I'd thought. I spent almost 5 minutes trying to come up with the right level of subtlety, and I still blew it. Clearly, I suck at this.
Hahaha, I did appreciate it the subtle levels of halves, wholes and doubles, 5 minutes well spent.
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