Credit Account Services Is At It Again

[Shodan]

The contemptible creeps at Credit Account Services (may fleas infest their nether parts) have moved to the next level of harassment.

They have been calling me two or three times a week trying to sell me a new credit card. Repeatedly telling them not to call has done nothing, reporting them to the attorney general of my state has done nothing, issuing a string of obscene abuse to the mindless drone who bothers me has done nothing.

Now they are engaged in activity which goes beyond annoying into outright criminal. They now are claiming suspicious activity on my "bank card" and calling me up purporting to be "Fraud Prevention Officers". And, of course, trying to get me to give them my credit card number over the phone so they can steal from me.

When I asked how they knew I had suspicious activity on my account if they did not know the account number, the irritating fucknugget hung up on me.

What the Fucking Hell.

If you are going to try to rob me, at least put a little effort into it, so I can have a chance to suddenly switch to asking about sexual relationships with their household plants, or something at least mildly entertaining. Dropping the call because you cannot answer the most obvious question there is shows a disturbing lack of commitment to your chosen career of attempting to steal from the gullible.

Let's see you do a little better next time.

You snot-sucking offspring of the unholy union of a syphilitic musk ox and an unwashed toilet.

Regards,
Shodan

[Boyo Jim]

Let me suggest that sex with pets or farm animals is a lot more entertaining a subject than sex with house plants. But maybe that's just me.

[Shodan]

You need to widen your horizons.

Regards,
Shodan

[Hung Mung]

Originally Posted by Shodan

You need to widen your horizons.

Regards,
Shodan

You are a jaded man.

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Hung Mung

You are a jaded man.

Poison Ivy will do that to a guy.

[Polycarp]

Originally Posted by Hung Mung

You are a jaded man.

No, he's still working on the vegetable kingdom, and hasn't moved on to semi-precious stones yet.

[bup]

When you get a new credit card, I wish the issuing company would give you an additional fake number that automatically triggers alarms when used. Then you could give it to idiots who claim to know your account has been compromised, but they don't know your number, but they need you to tell them your number.

[silenus]

One of my favorite features of our landline is an audio announcement of the Caller ID. We always wait for the second ring and announcement before getting up to answer the phone. "Unavailable," "Out of Area" and known scum like Card Services get ignored.

[SpoilerVirgin]

Originally Posted by bup

When you get a new credit card, I wish the issuing company would give you an additional fake number that automatically triggers alarms when used. Then you could give it to idiots who claim to know your account has been compromised, but they don't know your number, but they need you to tell them your number.

A few years ago, my bank was in a merger and cancelled one of my cards to replace it with a new one that had a new number. No problem, everything went smoothly. Then a few months ago I started getting messages on my machine saying that there was a problem with my card, and giving the last four digits of the card that had been cancelled. I ignored them until one day they called while I was home. I told the guy that the card was cancelled, and he actually started to argue with me. He said that I owed money and would be in big trouble if I didn't pay it. I hung up on him. A minute later, my phone rang, and I didn't think before picking it up. It was the same guy. He started screaming at me for hanging up on him, and told me that "the bank" (he clearly didn't even know which one) would be cancelling all of my cards because of my rudeness. At that point I just hung up again, and fortunately have never heard from him since. He must have obtained a list of names with last four digits somewhere and was trolling for victims.

[elucidator]

Does it appear to anybody else that friend Shodan is developing a rudimentary but functional sense of humor? Anybody don't believe in God now?

[Docta G]

Originally Posted by Shodan

The contemptible creeps at Credit Account Services (may fleas infest their nether parts) have moved to the next level of harassment.

They have been calling me two or three times a week trying to sell me a new credit card. Repeatedly telling them not to call has done nothing, reporting them to the attorney general of my state has done nothing, issuing a string of obscene abuse to the mindless drone who bothers me has done nothing.

Now they are engaged in activity which goes beyond annoying into outright criminal. They now are claiming suspicious activity on my "bank card" and calling me up purporting to be "Fraud Prevention Officers". And, of course, trying to get me to give them my credit card number over the phone so they can steal from me.

When I asked how they knew I had suspicious activity on my account if they did not know the account number, the irritating fucknugget hung up on me.

What the Fucking Hell.

If you are going to try to rob me, at least put a little effort into it, so I can have a chance to suddenly switch to asking about sexual relationships with their household plants, or something at least mildly entertaining. Dropping the call because you cannot answer the most obvious question there is shows a disturbing lack of commitment to your chosen career of attempting to steal from the gullible.

Let's see you do a little better next time.

You snot-sucking offspring of the unholy union of a syphilitic musk ox and an unwashed toilet.

Regards,
Shodan

Fuck off, nobody cares.

Regards,
Docta G

[silenus]

Well, we've identified who has been calling Shodan, haven't we?

[Shodan]

No, it was definitely a human voice on the line.

Regards,
Shodan

[Steve MB]

Originally Posted by bup

When you get a new credit card, I wish the issuing company would give you an additional fake number that automatically triggers alarms when used.

Hell, I'd pay extra for a version that automatically triggers an airdrop of hentai tentacle zombies on the scammer's address when used.

[Trepa Mayfield]

OP, have you ever considered an air horn? Maybe you can deafen the scammers. I recommend talking real quietly so they turn the volume up before blasting away.

[Shodan]

I did, but I started a previous thread on these people. Some one said they probably have automatic noise dampeners on the phones they are using to annoy me and try to steal from me.

I still scream at them, but that is mostly for my own amusement rather than an expectation that they will experience any ringing in their heads.

Not that their heads will ring - sound doesn't travel in a vacuum.

Regards,
Shodan

[Polycarp]

Originally Posted by elucidator

Does it appear to anybody else that friend Shodan is developing a rudimentary but functional sense of humor? Anybody don't believe in God now?

I will have you know, sir, that as regards Shodan, he has always had a wonderfully acerbic sense of humor. As to why you may not have noticed it until now, my explanation is much like the one I use for the scarcity of observed miracles: Just because he can do it does not necessarily mean that he will.

[Darryl Lict]

Oddly enough, I haven't got a Card Services Call in months. I did actually resort to cussing at them after leading them on for a minute or two. I'm wondering if I'm on a "Do Not Call" list for telemarketers. I've actually had someone apologize for being a telemarketer after bagging on them!

[Drunky Smurf]

Originally Posted by Docta G

Fuck off, nobody cares.

Regards,
Docta G

Right. Which is why nobody has posted in this thread. Not even you cared enough to post in this thread.

Regards,
meta-americans are idiots and assholes.

[Dallas Jones]

My wife and I got rid of our land line about 6 months ago. The only time it ever rang was someone annoying us, everyone else we know already called the cell numbers.

I know that we should have notified the bank, credit card companies, power co., etc., but we didn't. We notified the people we work for, of course, because they send us money. The people WE send money to can just use the damn mail as far as I am concerned.

Our name has now dropped out of the new phone books that just came out and we receive no unwanted calls on our cells, it's peace.

[Wheelz]

Where I used to work I had a program that could send faxes from my computer. You could adjust the number of re-tries (in case the receiving line was not answered with a fax tone) up to 99. One day, when I was getting harrassed by scumbags like these, I sent 10 faxes to their number with max retries. So they got 990 incoming calls from a fax machine that day. I enjoyed that.

[Big_Norse]

Originally Posted by Dallas Jones

My wife and I got rid of our land line about 6 months ago. The only time it ever rang was someone annoying us, everyone else we know already called the cell numbers.

I know that we should have notified the bank, credit card companies, power co., etc., but we didn't. We notified the people we work for, of course, because they send us money. The people WE send money to can just use the damn mail as far as I am concerned.

Our name has now dropped out of the new phone books that just came out and we receive no unwanted calls on our cells, it's peace.

Give it time, telemarketers also call cell phones even though it's technically illegal.

[DiosaBellissima]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

Where I used to work I had a program that could send faxes from my computer. You could adjust the number of re-tries (in case the receiving line was not answered with a fax tone) up to 99. One day, when I was getting harrassed by scumbags like these, I sent 10 faxes to their number with max retries. So they got 990 incoming calls from a fax machine that day. I enjoyed that.

Ha! Fabulous idea.

[curlcoat]

Originally Posted by Big_Norse

Give it time, telemarketers also call cell phones even though it's technically illegal.

Yes, I get them. I have taken to not picking up a cell call unless I recognize the call. Our land line is just a message phone and I clear off all of the telemarketers spam every other day or so.

[Antigen]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

Where I used to work I had a program that could send faxes from my computer. You could adjust the number of re-tries (in case the receiving line was not answered with a fax tone) up to 99. One day, when I was getting harrassed by scumbags like these, I sent 10 faxes to their number with max retries. So they got 990 incoming calls from a fax machine that day. I enjoyed that.

That's absolutely beautiful.

[silenus]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

Where I used to work I had a program that could send faxes from my computer. You could adjust the number of re-tries (in case the receiving line was not answered with a fax tone) up to 99. One day, when I was getting harrassed by scumbags like these, I sent 10 faxes to their number with max retries. So they got 990 incoming calls from a fax machine that day. I enjoyed that.

Seems to me Anonymous would be doing the world a big favor by staging a few DOS attacks on these scumbags using this approach.

[Voyager]

Originally Posted by Shodan

I did, but I started a previous thread on these people. Some one said they probably have automatic noise dampeners on the phones they are using to annoy me and try to steal from me.

I still scream at them, but that is mostly for my own amusement rather than an expectation that they will experience any ringing in their heads.

Not that their heads will ring - sound doesn't travel in a vacuum.

Regards,
Shodan

I've heard that police whistles work well also, and probably aren't as annoying on your side. I wouldn't bet these scumbags care any more for their slaves than for you, so I'd give it a shot.

Ever think of having a copy of Ulysses or something by the phone, and start reading it to them when they call, not letting them break in? Might be fun and educational.

[Shodan]

Originally Posted by Voyager

Ever think of having a copy of Ulysses or something by the phone, and start reading it to them when they call, not letting them break in?

No way - what if they let me get all the way thru, and I got to the "Yes I said yes yes" part? I am sure in some countries that constitutes a legally binding contract.

Safer to do Piers Plowman in the original Middle English.

Regards,
Shodan

[digs]

My favorite call was the one where I finally got the guts to say:
"Oh, we're definitely interested! My wife'll want to hear this. Just a second, she's in the shower."
Put phone down on counter.
"Honeeee..." Wait a full minute.
Put mouth close to receiver, yell "Honey, there's a Roger from Card Insurance Services on the phone..."
Wait another minute.
Shout from opposite end of house: "Roger? She's commmming..." Rinse, repeat.

A shame I didn't have the heart to do more than four minutes, but when you've got someone on hold, it's reeeeally long...

[elucidator]

Somebody ought to say something nice about those people. Really, somebody should.

[digs]

Along the lines of Ulysses, I've also been known to recite all of "Nick Danger" from Firesign Theater; a parody of the old detective radio dramas that runs at least 40 minutes.

But telemarketers hang up pretty quickly with this method. But I used it on the wife of a friend who claimed she was going to stay on the phone until I got her husband to leave the bar we were solving the world's problems in.
There I was, hamming it up:"I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desktop, and reading my name on the glass of my office door: 'REGNAD KCIN'..."
And she hung in there, ended up laughing at me, and he wasn't in trouble any more.

And, the world's problems? Solved.

[Voyager]

Originally Posted by digs

Along the lines of Ulysses, I've also been known to recite all of "Nick Danger" from Firesign Theater; a parody of the old detective radio dramas that runs at least 40 minutes.

Telemarketers don't deserve such good stuff - I'm not sure I could do it any more, but at one time I was able to recite Nick also. In 1970 Cambridge pizza parlor owners all over time scratched their heads as college kids came in to order "pizza to go - no anchovies."
Maybe I should memorize Lenny Bruce's Christ and Moses - "with a cross of hmm hmm - no, not Zorro!"

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

If it ain't on paper, it don't mean a thing.