You know those commercials you guys keep puttin’ on the TV? You know, the ones that say that a man ain’t a virile, healthy, prime hunk of beef, unless he’s got a full head of hair? Especially the latest one- “Ask Her”- in which you tell me that even if I’m happy with my male pattern baldness, chances are my wife’ll leave me at the drop of a hat (literally) for the next fully-follicaled male she sees, 'cause obviously he’s a better lay.
Well, fuck you! I’m happy not having any hair- hell, when it started getting a little thin six years ago, I shaved it all off! I’m thirty-three years old now, and I’m completely happy with it. But if you bastards keep up with these backhanded insults, I’m going to have to mix Nair into your shampoos- and let YOU see what it’s like to be on the “other side”.
Like I said, I’m satisfied with my allotment of hair- but you guys are constantly telling the rest of the world that bald guys are unattractive- and that’s really pissin’ me off. I happen to know for a fact that women find baldness sexy.
My high Swedish forehead has started gettin’ higher lately (I’m only 31) but damned if I’m gonna let some TV commercial tell me I should spend hard-earned money trying to remind myself of the hairline I once had.
That having been said, Mrs. O is under standing orders to shoot me if I ever show up with a combover. (She likes the back of my neck more anyway.) Combovers are for men who buy into the whole Rogaine mythology but are too damn cheap.
I will go bald; and since I accept this, I will go bald gracefully.
Amen. It’s one of the many reasons Picard is sexier than Kirk. Hmm…
Kirk–Full head of hair, bad captain
Picard–Bald, good captain
Sisko–Shaved off his hair and became a good captain
Janeway–Full head of hair, terrible captain
I’m a woman, and I HATE those commericals. Not just because they’re inaccurate for so many of us who like bald guys, but because they seem designed to make men feel bad. I know advertising is all about the creation of new needs, but I wouldn’t buy a product that had to make me feel inferior to sell itself. Ditto for the (already maligned here) commercials for the clear braces whose sole selling point seems to be “well, at least you aren’t as geeky as those other metal-mouths.”
I’m not sure if it is the same one, Lightnin’, but the latest Rogaine ad I saw just pissed me off:
(Scene: bedroom. Man sitting on bed, woman lying down)
VOICEOVER: Will she have the same feelings if you lose your hair?
MAN: Sure. Just for somebody else.
(WOMAN smirks)
'Cause, ya know, women are shallow, image-obsessed bitches, right?
My jaw dropped so fast when I saw that commercial, I think there’s still a dent on my chin. I can’t decide to whom that commercial is more insulting: men or women. While a lot of advertising panders to the insecurities of the viewer, that one really sticks in my craw.
I mean, Jesus, I am NOT going to leave my man if he loses some or all of his hair. I know this because I married my husband well after his hairline began to recede, and it’s never been more to me than something I notice in passing. So I can see some scalp. Big deal. I’d like to see a lot more of a man than that, if you catch my meaning.
I liked the thread title. The rant started good with a couple of well placed fuck you’s. But the OP and the subsequent posts just don’t have enough vitriolic language for the Pit.
GOD-FUCKIN’-DAMMIT! I swear, mother, if you ask me ONE MORE TIME why I don’t try that damn Rogaine, I’m going to block your fucking number!
I don’t give a rat’s ass that you think I “have such beautiful hair.” It is NOT a fucking “shame” that I’m losing it! I’ve had it thirty-damn-one years. I’m glad it’s going - I’m tired of going to the fucking barber! My wife doesn’t seem to mind. Why in the HELL do YOU?
By the Way, I’m not losing it. It’s growing on my back and my ASS where it keeps me warm in the winter. But damn the summer; I’m going to have to start mowing back there!
I like to polish before any real special occasions, so the shine really comes through. Been slowly increasing the area available for polishing for the last six or seven years, no one seems to mind…
But damn, homebrew, why’d you have to bring up the back/ass hair? That’s a real somanabich! Maybe there’s an anti-rogaine availble to get rid of the unwanted ass-hair?! Shit, now I’m self-concious, stop staring.
BunnyGirl heard right, male pattern baldness is caused by excess testosterone. Now, I’ve always thought baldness ought to be a sign of virility, but I KNOW that Rogain, comb-overs, bad toupes, and hair implants are signs of a shallow personality. Embrace your baldness. Use the money you save from not having to buy shampoo, take a Carribean vacation, and show off that shiny scalp to all the hot, half nude women (or men, for those in that special 10%).
Remind me again, why is it shallow for a bald man to want hair but its not shallow for a man with hair to make himself bald?
Now, as someone with too much hair on my head, as someone do doesn’t really care for the hair on his head, and as someone with a family history indicating a permanency in the condition, I have only one thing to say to those of you rationalizing baldness in this thread:
It’s not shallow for a bald man to want hair, any more than it is shallow for a woman to want to wear makeup. What sucks is when a commercial (or anyone else) implies or, hell, states directly that this is something YOU MUST DO in order to be considered an attractive person, and that if you do not do it, you are an ugly dog only worthy of contempt.
So to the makers of Rogaine, Maybelline, and Dexatrim, I sound a hearty:
FUCK YOU!
Bald men are sexy, anyway. What’s not sexy is balding men who do lame things to try to cover their baldness, like that horrible spray-paint stuff, or bad toupees, or the dreaded comb-over. Revel in the baldness. Enjoy it. Flaunt it. This lady, at least, will thank you for it.
I noticed I was going bald years ago. I didn’t really mind. Over the years, however, I have noticed that Rogaine and the like are trying hard to convince the gullible American People that Bald is one step above Child Molesting.
I mean, sheesh. My wife is madly in love with me, and loves the bald area. (Side comment: it’s sexy as hell! - Juliana) Reduces the amount of shampoo I need, and reminds me to wear a hat in the winter.
And it’s not like it works on everyone forever. You’ll build up an immunity to the $25-a-pop “miracle” and lose the hair again. And it might not work on you anyway. Why waste the money when it doesn’t really matter?
It’s also a handy moron detector. You can always tell, that if someone has to make a shallow, stupid or even (God Forbid) “well meaning” remark, that they are probably too stupid to get out of the rain.
I am sooooooo glad I’m not the only one to hate that commercial!
Yeah. A full head of hair on a main is sexy. But that’s not the only thing that is sexy. Bunch of other sexy stuff: Tight butt. Nice smile. Deep voice. Kindness. Short (OK, that last is unusual - I’m kinky, so what?) But you wanna know what the SEXIEST thing in a man is?
SELF-CONFIDENCE!
Not false self-confidence but real, deep down “I’m a good, capable, lovable person” self-confidence. Someone who isn’t afraid to be who and what they are is sexy. So even though I have attraction to head hair, I’d rather a bald man who isn’t afraid to be bald, who doesn’t feel a need to hide under bag rugs, combovers, or chemicals, than a sniveling, insecure guy struggling to retain his dying folicles. Between those two choices the bald guy is infinitely more sexy.
I HATE those commercials! Awful! Trying to make men as insecure about their appearance as women are! Bad ad people! Bad! Bad! (where’s that rolled up newspaper?..)
(BTW - I’m married to a balding guy of average height who’s butt isn’t tight, and doesn’t have a deep voice. I’m very happy with him, because unlike my dream guys with their hair and Barry White/James Earl Jones voices he’s real. I didn’t marry him for his looks, I married him because he’s a wonderful human being, and that’s the sexiest thing of all)
God, I fucking hate that Rogaine commercial. In fact, I hate all Rogaine commercials, having tried the stuff a couple of years ago when I started thinning on top. It sucks. The commercials never show the real experience of Rogaine:
The itchy and occasionally inflamed scalp.
The gigantic flakes of pseudo-dandruff that appear if you don’t wash your hair thoroughly to remove the old Rogaine residue.
The comments from people who notice that your scalp and hair are still damp from the Rogaine, even though you applied it two hours ago (“What the hell? You have mousse in your hair or something?”)
The giggles from your friends when they realize how completely vain and insecure you are.
5a) The indescribable look of amusement and disgust from your girlfriend when she first notices the bottle in the medicine cabinet.
5b) The indescribable humiliation and embarrassment you feel when you realize that she is going to tell every one of her friends about it.
The crushing realization about 6 months into it that (a) it worked for Karl Malone, and (b) you ain’t Karl Malone.
The understanding that, even if it does work, you’re going to have to shell out 40 bucks every two months for the rest of your pathetic life.
That says it all for me. I’m told that if it works at all, the hair it grows falls out immediately after you stop using it.
I shaved my head back in October. I figure it’s better to be bald than balding. If you’re losing your hair, I say embrace it. Being bald is a bit of a pain, but it’s a cool look. I look kinda threatening and a little evil. Keewwwlll!!!
So yeah!!! Fuck Rogain. And fuck the Hair Club fer Men. You hear me??? Eat me, Sy Sperling or whatever the hell your name is!!! And screw the guy who does the ‘hair follicle replacement’ surgery.