Does anybody else hate making phone calls?

[RealityChuck]

I hated talking on the phone in my teens, but leaned to adjust as I got older. I still prefer to contact people by other methods (mostly email) when I can.

[Bambi Hassenpfeffer]

Originally Posted by Absolute

Count me in as someone amazed by these responses. Do most of you have the same problems when interacting with people in real life, or is it something specific to the telephone?

Specific to the phone, for me. Phone calls are just so intrusive. I'm big on email and texting cause they are asynchronous, and I happily talk to people in person.

I just hate talking to people on the phone.

[Rushgeekgirl]

I've been bound by phobias all my life. I had a phone phobia for years but I'm almost completely over it. I couldn't make appointments or order pizzas and especially couldn't handle reception at my office. I lost a good job once because I refused to do that. I am still rather shy about calling friends and family now because I don't want to be a bother. I've been told this is foolish because they can just tell me if they're busy, but in my mind I feel like if they have time they'll just call me.

My oldest daughter has a horrible case of social phobia just like me and still can't do the phone thing. I make as many calls as I can for her and I'm told I'm just contributing to her problem but if I don't make her appointments or help with her school registrations they just won't get done. How could I deny her that help when I see how well she's doing in her classes now that I took care of the rest?

Anyway I hope she'll eventually grow out of it like I did. It only took me 40 years. She's got 18 to go!

[Annie-Xmas]

I hate, hate, hate phones. Especially cell phones. The idea that I should be obligated to talk to anyone 24/7/365 just cause they call me really pisses me off.

[Winnie]

I own a business where my staff is out on the road all day (I own a dog walking and pet sitting company) and it has SAVED my sanity to use texting to alert them of schedule changes or other important information. Some of my staff are REALLY REALLY chatty and I really don't have the time or patience to make idle chit-chat with them.

[Dung Beetle]

I used to have phone phobia. I would have to go into a room alone, breathe deep, and psyche myself up to make even a simple call.

Then I got a job answering the phone. (I wasn’t a bit nervous during the interview, because I didn’t even want the job! Who knew they’d up and give it to me anyway?) I had to answer the phone and say “Diagnostic blah blah blah, Julia speaking” and I was worried my mind would just go blank when the phone rang, so I made up a little memory aid to help myself. What do I wish people would do instead of calling me? "DIE! Agnostic blah blah blah, Julia speaking.”

These days I don’t enjoy the phone but I don’t fear it, and I’m really glad I was able to break out of that. More social handicaps I don’t need.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

I don't really have a problem with making phone calls (most of the time) besides that I hate the feeling that I might be interupting something with my call.

My problem is leaving voice mail. I hate it so much. When I do use voice mail, it's usually for work and I always feel nervous about it. It's like I know I'm either going to forget something important I needed to say and have to leave another message or say something stupid that gets recorded and heard by someone I want to take me seriously.

Even worse, somehow, is changing my own outgoing message. I can never get it to sound quite right and end up forgetting something or slipping up and saying something wrong about half the time so I keep having to do it over. It's almost to the point where I need to prepare a script.

[Encinitas]

I hate making phone calls and will put it off as long as possible. I hate to chit chat on the phone. I just say what I need to say and get off the line. Yes, I have unintentionally offended people on occasion by being abrupt.

[Patience Jones]

I despise talking on the phone. The worst is making any kind of business call. I'm often ridiculously anxious that I'm going to be misunderstood somehow. Because of this, I put off calls I should make far longer than I should.

[Corcaigh]

I hate talking on the phone. For one thing I have this 'speech impediment' where I either spoonerise things, or make up words, or get them in the wrong order*. Also my mother listens in, and starts talking to me as if we are having a conversation and I have to keep asking her to please stop talking to me as I'm on the phone, and she starts arguing back that she's not stopping me talking on the phone *drones on for ten minutes about not stopping me talking*... which often makes the other person start giggling. Then I get all embarrassed and I start to stammer...

I tend to text people.


* the tablets for my diabetes are giving me diarrhoea came out as "the tablets I'm taking for diarrhoea are giving me diabetes", which is a completely different medical problem altogether

[Hari Seldon]

I'm 75 and have always hated to call people. I didn't mind receiving calls, until they invented telemarketing, but even that doesn't bother me. My wife is even more reluctant to make calls than me, so I wind up making most of them and it is gotten easier in the past 20 years or so. The worst was when I wanted to call a girl and ask for a date (which I haven't had to do in 47 years; the very last one being my now wife). I was in an absolute swivet and sometimes just didn't do it.

Now I generally prefer email, but that is partly because it is asynchronous--no games of telephone tag. What I hate now is voice mail. Especially the kind that tries to understand speech. That is the absolute pits. Any company that uses it hates their customers.

[The wind of my soul]

I'm 25, and I adore talking on the phone if it's a close friend. What I don't like is talking on the phone with someone I don't know as well, because then I have to make an effort to be perky and polite. (Not that I'm a bitch to my friends, just that if I grumble or act tired I know they won't take it as a personal slight.) Oh, and family. My family may know me well, but I still have to watch what I say and how I say it around them.

On second thought, maybe that's just a commentary on social interaction in general and not at all specific to the phone. Sorry.

[Anaamika]

One thing I really hate about phone calls is not having the data or whatever right there. Someone says they will do something? Well, they can and do totally lie. In e-mail? They can still deny but the evidence is there for all to see, plus you're never thinking "Did I ask her about that?" Just check your sent mail.

Plus, i was thinking about this this weekend. All my bad news, ever, throughout my life has come via phone.

[Frazzled]

I'm 39 and am considered a social butterfly. I love chatting with people at work and in my social life, love parties, and love going out after work with my friends.

I hate and despise the phone. I never, ever answer it - in fact as I type this I have 11 unheard voice mails on my phone that I don't have any plans of listening to. I love texting and will text people to meet someplace face to face but won't call them. The only time I use the phone is for business and even then it's tough for me to use it.

[E. Thorp]

I'm 44. I never minded talking on the phone or receiving calls -- though I've always been anxious about initiating -- until my first office job, at age 29. I spent enough time on the phone, in disagreeable conversations with unhappy clients, that it put me off the phone generally. At work I stick to email whenever I can, and outside work I happily communicate by text, email, or Facebook.

Oh, and in person. I like to communicate that way too.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by E. Thorp

I'm 44. I never minded talking on the phone or receiving calls -- though I've always been anxious about initiating -- until my first office job, at age 29. I spent enough time on the phone, in disagreeable conversations with unhappy clients, that it put me off the phone generally. At work I stick to email whenever I can, and outside work I happily communicate by text, email, or Facebook.

Oh, and in person. I like to communicate that way too.

That, too. My first boyfriend stalked me; and a bunch of people from the Indian comminuty used to stalk me on the phone when I broke away from my parents. I mean, they'd call me constantly and tell me what a bad kid I was being and how I was breaking my parents' heart. This girl I wronged once when I was fifteen stalked me for three years in revenge. And then I did three years at a customer service job.

Phones can just die.

[AaronX]

I don't like making phone calls (not afraid of them) to companies, not so much for individuals. I keep thinking I'll be put on hold, or forget what to say.

Don't mind as much receiving them.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas

I hate, hate, hate phones. Especially cell phones. The idea that I should be obligated to talk to anyone 24/7/365 just cause they call me really pisses me off.

This, too. My dad called me last night at 8:30. Just because the phone rings I am obligated to talk to whomever is on the other side? I think not. I let it go to VM. I wish I didn't even have a VM, but it's good for important calls.

[Acsenray]

Does anyone actually tell you that you are obligated to talk to anyone who calls when they call? A phone call is an invitation to interact with someone.

[kushiel]

I don't have anxiety over personal calls, but calls to strangers? Hells yes. I start to sweat and my mind turns to mush, which in turn makes me more anxious. I think it's because I'm being put on the spot. Many of my calls through work require to me to be multitasking, checking things out on the computer while I'm talking. I don't like being pressured to say something. I might not know the answer offhand, and I don't know how to deal with people who don't like the answer I gave them. Email and texts let me think about what I want to say. My emails are professional and eloquent, whereas on the phone I end up blabbering things to clients like "Colleague [x]? He's in the bathroom right now!". True story.

If I can order food online or book an appointment online you get my money! I chose my last hairdresser because they had online booking.

[Vinyl Turnip]

I wouldn't say I'm afraid to talk on the phone, but I'll put it this way: I've always had the cheapest possible cell phone plan and I've amassed about twenty billion rollover minutes.

[Patience Jones]

Originally Posted by kushiel

I chose my last hairdresser because they had online booking.

Christ Jesus. Are you me?

[Invisible Chimp]

I've had near panic attacks about making phone calls. I hate calling people. I can now usually call friends and family if I absolutely need to do it, but I still have difficulties calling strangers or businesses. I prefer texting. It's not my favorite thing, but I don't really mind receiving phone calls.

[turtledove river]

Originally Posted by Acsenray

A phone call is an invitation to interact with someone.

This is actually the conclusion that I came to since starting this thread and thinking about this a lot. If I call someone and they are busy, they are free to not answer. If they answer then I'm not bothering them.

[GuanoLad]

Originally Posted by turtledove river

Is there a phone anxiety hotline?

*Retweet*

I also hate talking on the phone. I don't have a mobile phone for primarily this reason. Email gives me time to compose a response, go on at length, and feel like I'm not interrupting or in any immediate hurry for their own reply. Unfortunately, most of my friends and family barely use email at the best of times, so I have a very quiet life most of the time.

[Cinnamon Imp]

I'm 34, and as a teenager, loved talking on the phone and spent hours on it. Since then, I've developed phone anxiety at some point, probably when I started work, and now I prefer email/text/fb for interactions.

As mentioned, it gives you a written record of what was said, so when friends turn up at the wrong time/wrong address, I can reassure myself it's not my mistake (even if I'm too polite to go "nyeh-nyeh, your fault!" at them)

Plus I have an appalling memory, so if it's in writing, I'm more likely to (a) remember typing it and (b) able to double check what I said!

I will use the phone when I have to, but I really hate even making a 30 second phone call to make appointments with doctors, dentists etc

[heathen earthling]

I've always hated using phones, which is why I never carry one with me.

[Crafter_Man]

I'm 44. I hate talking on the phone. Even at work. I much prefer email.

[Dangerosa]

Originally Posted by msmith537

I'm curious what people's ages are.

Texting and email have their place, but I hate that so many younger people seem unable to communicate by phone or in person.

45. I've hate making phone calls my whole life. My therapist thought it was really odd. I don't mind being on the phone. But I absolutely hate calling someone, whether for an appointment or a friend to see if they want to go to a movie. I have to dial into a meeting now in four minutes...that I don't mind. I don't like to make the phone call to have pizza delivered. I do cope, and pizza has gotten almost routine, but I've been putting off calling for a dentist appointment for way too long.

[Corcaigh]

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas

I hate, hate, hate phones. Especially cell phones. The idea that I should be obligated to talk to anyone 24/7/365 just cause they call me really pisses me off.

What I hate is the attitude that someone rings your mobile, you have to answer instantly. I don't have my mobile glued to my hand, I have to find it, and nine times out of ten, I can't find it.

Doesn't help that I have to have it on silent all the damn time because Mother freaks out if she hears it ringing. I tell people "if I don't answer, don't panic, I'll ring you back", but they never listen...

Originally Posted by msmith537

I'm curious what people's ages are.

I'm nearly 50

[Disposable Hero]

Originally Posted by turtledove river

Anybody have the same experience?
Also, words of reassurance are welcome.

I hate making phone calls as well, its a bit of a running joke at work that I'll go out of my way to attend somebodies house to talk to them in person rather than just call them.

I find I'm able to explain myself and understand what a person is trying to tell me much better if I can see them. I've also found that people are markedly more polite and respectful when talking to them in person, that extra bit of removal that communicating over the phone provides enables some people to be much more unpleasant than they may otherwise be.

My sense of humour also translates much better in person, people can see that I'm just being tongue-in-cheek and sharing a joke with them, not laughing at them. Or if I can see the person its easier to tell when I shouldn't make any jokes at all!

btw early thirties and I've spent most of my life living in a rural area with no mobile phone signal so I've never really grasped why some people seem permenantly attached to the devices (not a knock on mobile phones, they are quite literally a life-saving device).

[Ruby Slippers]

I had no idea there were so many others like me who dislike various aspects of phone conversations! I'm 66. For the most part, I don't mind receiving phone calls, at least from friends and family, but I totally dislike making calls, even to friends and family. I'm not even entirely sure why, but it's almost like a phobia. I totally relate to all the comments about preferring online ordering as well as email and facebook for both business and personal communication. My husband is almost totally opposite. I think he knows I don't like making calls and he usually handles situations that require phone calls. But he thinks I'm a terrible person because I don't even like calling my mother. But I'm guessing there's a family connection to this because my mother hardly ever calls me either. When I hear about mother-daughter relationships that involve daily phone calls, I feel a bit guilty until I remind myself that neither one of us would enjoy that.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Acsenray

Does anyone actually tell you that you are obligated to talk to anyone who calls when they call?

Yes. people have told me this. And my dad pretty much expects that if I am home, I should be answering the phone just because he called. And lots of people bitch that I don't always answer my cell phone.

I don't care. The phone is for my convenience, not theirs. if I look at the caller ID (greatest thing ever) on the phone and you're not someone I want to talk to I AIN'T ANSWERING.

I work on the phone enough at work. I would love it if I could get rid of my home phone entirely. It's not happening yet.

[sunstone]

I don't like phone conversations as I can't get any of the feedback of facial expressions and body language that help me gauge the meaning behind the words I hear.

The same is true for emails...that's why emoticons were invented.

I do OK talking to those close to me as I pretty much already know their emotional reactions, and I'm OK with very information rich things like setting up appointments.

I very much don't like the idea that anyone can call at anytime...they wouldn't dream of dropping by and interrupting my dinner, but have no qualms about calling me anytime.

Give me face to face any day, unless it is someone who is angry...in which case I can't hang up!

[Taomist]

I'm not as bad as the OP, but the fact that I've done phone support as a living on and off, and half my other jobs involve being on the phone as well, should go a lot more towards being comfortable on the phone when I'm initiating than it actually does. So...I hate it. I do it, but I hate it. Not sure I could even say why.

[Risha]

This is me, though it's mostly directed at businesses. I've had two phone calls (one to a bank, and one to a doctor) on my To Do list for at least three months, and I sincerely doubt that I'll be placing either one of them soon. Online ordering was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

In my case, this is directly related to my anxiety disorder, though. Meds take care of most of it, but hasn't touched my problem with phone calls.

[RedBloom]

I hate making or receiving phone calls. I MUCH prefer text or email. I'm able to convey much better that way, and you avoid all of the pauses, weirdness, anxiety, etc. I do get nervous on the phone, I pace and chain smoke..... and I hate finding a way to end the conversation. I don't really have the time for idle chatter anymore, either. I'm a busy working mom so my time is precious. Text me if you want to hear back

[TheFaerie]

I'm 45 and I have a major phone phobia. I even know where it came from. The embarrassing phone event happened 40 years ago and I'm still scarred.

[davidm]

I'm in my 50s and I've never had a real problem talking on the phone. Texting, for asynchronous "meet me at 8" type messages is great; but using it for conversational purposes annoys me. It lacks the emotional and other cues of a real human voice.

Also, I've gotten the impression that, for some people, it lessens the motivation to get over what might otherwise be a minor phone phobia. (I know that some people have bigger issues, and some have speech impediments, etc., that's not what I'm talking about.)

The one thing that I have found anxiety producing is political phone canvassing. I know from experience that the people (who are on a screened phone list) are almost always happy to hear from me, but I think I'm always fearing that one unusual person who will swear and hang up.

At work I receive a few support phone calls nearly every day. Mostly, if it's a routine request, I ask them to send me an email with the request. That's not because I mind talking to them. It's because I like to have an email record of the request and my response.

[Disposable Hero]

Originally Posted by davidm

Also, I've gotten the impression that, for some people, it lessens the motivation to get over what might otherwise be a minor phone phobia. (I know that some people have bigger issues, and some have speech impediments, etc., that's not what I'm talking about.)

Why does it have to be a phobia? People may dislike using the telephone for perfectly valid reasons, I'm not scared of using the phone, I just don't like doing it and prefer face to face interaction for example.

In fact its for the exact same reason you state you don't like using text messages, lack of emotional cues. I think only hearing a persons voice is one step too removed for comfort.

On re-reading my post that comes across more aggressive than I intended, the difficulties of using text for communication, nicht wahr?

[davidm]

Originally Posted by Disposable Hero

Why does it have to be a phobia? People may dislike using the telephone for perfectly valid reasons, I'm not scared of using the phone, I just don't like doing it and prefer face to face interaction for example.

In fact its for the exact same reason you state you don't like using text messages, lack of emotional cues. I think only hearing a persons voice is one step too removed for comfort.

On re-reading my post that comes across more aggressive than I intended, the difficulties of using text for communication, nicht wahr?

I never said that it has to be a phobia. I said "for some people". It doesn't sound like you're someone who uses texting as a crutch since that's even more removed from person to person.

Just to be clear, I'm also not saying that everyone who texts a lot is using it because of a phobia, just that someone who has a slight phobia may have less incentive to get over it because they can just text.

Texting is a useful tool. I use it when it's appropriate but, for me at least, it doesn't make sense to use it as a substitute for talking.