Re: Should you not throw rice at weddings because birds swallow it and explode?

[burpo the wonder mutt]

One thing has been overlooked--most weddings are performed on Saturday mornings/early afternoons. Birds #2 all over the sidewalks whilst consuming rice. Church-goers track #2 all over inside of church attending 5PM/7PM Saturday evening service(s). Sexton can't get carpet shampooed Sat nite after 7PM service. Sunday morning, church carpet looks like used baby diaper. Clergy start spreading exploding bird rumor to keep carpet cleaning expenses down. Too cynical? Too clever/devious for clergy to invent? You decide.

[Czarcasm]

Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Board! Being new here, you may not know that it is customary to include a link to the column in question, like so-this way everybody is on the same page.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

Thanx for the info--how is this done? Any thing else (in a similar vein) I should be aware of (never use a preposition to end a sentence with)?

[John W. Kennedy]

The easy way is to use the globe-and-link button.

[C K Dexter Haven]

Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt

Any thing else (in a similar vein) I should be aware of (never use a preposition to end a sentence with)?

You might want to take a quite look over the Registration Agreement and the FAQ... Omission of a link ain't any kind of big deal, it's just easier for other posters if there's a link to the column. Welcome to the Straight Dope, glad to have you with us.

Now to topic: I don't think that the clergy are that devious about something as trivial as bird poop on the sidewalk. Getting donations, sure, they're crafty as the dickens, but not cleanin' up the sidewalks. At least, I don't think so. I like the thought, though. The Machiavellian clergy

[md2000]

I remember an old geological engineer mentioned his early days in the Welsh coal mining industry. The miners would sit up top eating their lunch. they still had the calcium-carbide powered lamps. They would break off a small chunk, wrap it in bread, and throw it up in the air. Seagulls would grab this treat in midair, fly away, and then explode a minute later when the stomach liquids hit the calcium carbide.

Since birds typically regurgitate food to feed their young, I have trouble imagining that they would have trouble relieving stomach pressure on demand unless it were massive and sudden (like the welsh example). I have heard the story of cows who get into the dry oats needing an immediate pressure-relief stomach opening as the oats get wet and swell; but cows also reurgitate their cude for rechewing, so that too is likely an urban legend? Rural legend?

[Jake]

I've heard/read someplace that farmers would stick an icepick into a cows stomach to relieve gas pressure.
Sounds like an urban legend to me. But then, I'm not a farmer!
Is there any truth to this?

[sitchensis]

Originally Posted by Jake

I've heard/read someplace that farmers would stick an icepick into a cows stomach to relieve gas pressure.
Sounds like an urban legend to me. But then, I'm not a farmer!
Is there any truth to this?

I got you come directions

[Jake]

Thanks, sitchensis for that information. One question: Do they sterilize the knife before poking? Seems like a natural thing to do...

[med prof]

Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt

One thing has been overlooked--most weddings are performed on Saturday mornings/early afternoons. Birds #2 all over the sidewalks whilst consuming rice. Church-goers track #2 all over inside of church attending 5PM/7PM Saturday evening service(s). Sexton can't get carpet shampooed Sat nite after 7PM service. Sunday morning, church carpet looks like used baby diaper. Clergy start spreading exploding bird rumor to keep carpet cleaning expenses down. Too cynical? Too clever/devious for clergy to invent? You decide.

That is hilarious! ...and when it comes to "The Church" I don't think anything is too devious to consider. History teaches me that...

[Sparky812]

Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt

Thanx for the info--how is this done? Any thing else (in a similar vein) I should be aware of (never use a preposition to end a sentence with)?

bolding mine....that's another thread.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

Oh, thanx a LOT, Sparky, now I gotta go LEARN somethin Seriously, thanks for the tip.