I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died!

[Farmer Jane]

Originally Posted by cmyk

Very true, and obviously the easiest way to provide adequate proof, for me at least. She has an iPhone that can upload pics or movies straight to the internet, as well 24/7 help.

I can't see this being over the line when your identity is called into question. However, it doesn't prove she's a troll or not if she declines.

She could even post a pic with her face blurred out if she wanted to. Not a big deal. Takes about two minutes. Well, maybe two and a half for her. Her carers are speedy quick.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by Farmer Jane

Also, if you don't suspect someone is telling the truth online, It doesn't make you an asshole if the person is in a wheelchair, or in an Internet wheelchair.

(my bold)

Is that like DSL?

[Farmer Jane]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

(my bold)

Is that like DSL?

Dial-up?

[Lemur866]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

And if the real Umkay is actually a devotee, then it would also explain the extremely high level of knowledge on display throughout these threads. Those in the DPW spectrum live the life of SCI in so many ways, many times they are more knowledgeable (in certain senses) than those who actually do have SCI.

Yep.

That's my theory about Kaitlyn/Number Six.

[Beastly Rotter]

Originally Posted by Pitchmeister

umkay weighs in on the matter.

Okay, cmyk, maybe you have never outright called her a troll, but others have. Her post sounds like she isn't too butthurt about that fact and plans to stick around. Maybe time and continued presence will alleviate some of your doubts.

O bullshit, s/he knows full well that the next stage in this will be a chorus of O NO DON'T LET THE HATERS DRIVE YOU OFF WE LOVE YOU from the credulous droolers s/he has dancing on her little strings.

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

It takes more muscles to frown at a fake quadriplegic's story than it takes to smile, you know.

Which is, of course, how we know that frowning is evil. At least it takes the same about of muscles to click on the or smilies.

[drewtwo99]

At first I thought it was laughable that umkay could be a troll, but after reading the theory that umkay is a devotee I have to admit it sounds plausible at least. Either way im fascinated.

[etv78]

I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,"weird".

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by Pitchmeister

umkay weighs in on the matter.

Okay, cmyk, maybe you have never outright called her a troll, but others have. Her post sounds like she isn't too butthurt about that fact and plans to stick around. Maybe time and continued presence will alleviate some of your doubts.

Obviously, it's just her word here again. It doesn't go either way in resolving anything at hand simply because it's her identity itself that's been called into question. She does say she's been PM'd on the matter of attempting to provide proof that she is, indeed, who she says she is, and said it's convinced her it's not a good idea (would anyone here come forward and admit to this if they've done so, it would at least corroborate this claim). Of course she knows, troll or not, that this doesn't exactly help to reassure, other than raise more eyebrows among the skeptical.

I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind that, anyway, as she could still remain anonymous. Anyhow, notokay could've been just another troll, trolling her if she's legit, or trolling a troll. She assumes we think if she's a troll, than umkay and notokay is the same person. None of us really know that either way, other than it's only one possibility.

Anyhow, time might tell. It'd be nice; I, myself, don't like unresolved doubt.

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by etv78

I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,"weird".

Uh huh? And?

[Sarabellum1976]

Originally Posted by Farmer Jane

She could even post a pic with her face blurred out if she wanted to. Not a big deal. Takes about two minutes. Well, maybe two and a half for her. Her carers are speedy quick.

Easily faked.

Video blog, please.

[Patience Jones]

I would prefer a long form birth certificate.

[billfish678]

If its from Kenya or Hawai it ain't gonna fly

[Farmer Jane]

Originally Posted by Sarabellum1976

Easily faked.

Video blog, please.

Well, now that I think about it, Ambi posted shirtless pics. So I say go shirtless or it didn't happen.

[PandaBear77]

FWIW, I ran quite a few of Umkay's posts through the Gender Guesser (to the tune of over 20,000 words). It found her words to be written by a female, although it said "weak female." To be fair, though -- I ran a lot of my posts through the same thing and it also said weak female (and I assure you, I'm ALL female).

Notokay's words were too few to be accurately analyzed but just on the basis of their one post, the GG found them to write like a male.

*shrug* No dog in this fight, but I'm certainly not ready to start hurling accusations.

[Blackberry]

Originally Posted by PandaBear77

FWIW, I ran quite a few of Umkay's posts through the Gender Guesser (to the tune of over 20,000 words). It found her words to be written by a female, although it said "weak female." To be fair, though -- I ran a lot of my posts through the same thing and it also said weak female (and I assure you, I'm ALL female).

Notokay's words were too few to be accurately analyzed but just on the basis of their one post, the GG found them to write like a male.

What a strange thing to say/do.

[monstro]

I'm a weak male and a weak female. And I'm European!

So all this time I've been perpetuating a fraud.

[Myrnalene]

I ran some of my posts through and it said I am a weak male. Or possibly European.

So, um, yeah. Not really striking evidence.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by etv78

I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,"weird".

Well of course she did. What would you expect a devotee to say to a messageboard that he was trying to convince that devoteeism was a normal, harmless, healthy off-shoot of normal sexual attraction?

[MeanOldLady]

Originally Posted by voltaire

So, help me understand your thinking here.

You think umkay was a troll, then created a sock to kill off a wildly successful troll, then quickly came back as the original troll to point out that the sock was a troll?

Pretty much what others have said. It's that she comes out the gate with this completely ridiculous story, the details of which are fascinatingly absurd and a little too perfect at times, that is somehow told in whole pages via some combination of dictation and chin typing, and any other difficulties someone in her condition may have had are conveniently whisked away in her case by her enormous wealth (and beauty -- don't forget she's young and beautiful). The 20-page schmaltz fest became too much for me, and I checked out of that shit show entirely.

The whole "She's dead! Hey I'm not dead! Oh noez, it's time to leave now because of the unpleasantness" shenanigans do not help, but I thought her story was ridiculous from the beginning.

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Hey, I freely admit I am a naive when it comes to these sorts of online hoaxs. I will admit; her ability to do sophisticated post-editing and mulit-quoting, etc., is rather curious. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I guess it's just that I can't imagine why anyone would do anything like this-if it's all a hoax.

Why do people troll the internet? I don't know. Maybe for the same reason they say supposebly: because they're retarded.

Originally Posted by Pitchmeister

ETA: (directed at cmyk, but by extension everyone who believes umkay is a troll)

What have you gained by doubting her?

I haven't gained anything. The same way I haven't gained anything by doubting the king of Nigeria wants to fax me a check for $1,000,000.

As for our friend bowing out, Brava! Full marks.

[clnilsen]

I wish my B/S detector was good enough to pick out is this is all trolling/socking etc, so I'll leave it to wiser people than I .

That Said, I think a kick butt board I'd would be IamNotNotOkay :-)

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by monstro

I'm a weak male and a weak female. And I'm European!

So all this time I've been perpetuating a fraud.

On the other hand it told me I was 99 percent likely to be a dumbass southern redneck asshole.

I think that thing is working.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by PandaBear77

FWIW, I ran quite a few of Umkay's posts through the Gender Guesser (to the tune of over 20,000 words). It found her words to be written by a female, although it said "weak female." To be fair, though -- I ran a lot of my posts through the same thing and it also said weak female (and I assure you, I'm ALL female).

And I just ran one of umkay's longer posts thru the same GenderGesser program, and it came back "weak male," both in the formal and informal modes.

I can only conclude that umkay is European.

The wheelchair factor was not addressed by that program.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by PandaBear77

Gender Guesser

Weak male?! Possibly European?!
I bleed Amurican Exceptionialism, dammit!

[Guinastasia]

Pictures don't mean a thing -- Kaitlyn, if you'll recall, posted a few, which later turned out to be of some Chinese celebrity.

Originally Posted by Blackberry

Skydive?
(If I was a quadriplegic I'd probably spend a lot of time on the Internet too, but by umkay's reports her life is extremely full, so that doesn't really work.)

Wait -- she skydives? (Or did she speak about doing that before her accident? I'm not going through that entire saga again)


Honestly, I don't give much of a shit if she's a troll (it's not like she's claiming to have dying kids or something like that) but the whole, "oh, how dare you, she's soooo wonderful" -- this place can be so fucking gullible. For a site that's supposed to be about fighting ignorance, it seems to me that people here fall for every stupid sob story that comes along. It's pathetic. I confess, I fell for the whole Kaitlyn story, and looking back, it's pretty embarassing.


Ambivalid -- what are SCI and DPW?

[Tangent]

Wait... is European a gender now? Or is it just a new name for metrosexual?

[Giraffe]

I think there is a perfect solution to quell the doubters and educate everyone at the same time. umkay should have her caretaker take a short video of her computer screen while she composes an SDMB post with her voice control software. Do some special formatting, a quick edit: basically, just a quick demonstration of the same sort of posting dexterity she has already demonstrated thus far. Best of all, no identifying information has to be revealed.

I think it would be quite educational, while definitively proving her non-trolldom.

[storyteller0910]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

I think there is a perfect solution to quell the doubters and educate everyone at the same time. umkay should have her caretaker take a short video of her computer screen while she composes an SDMB post with her voice control software. Do some special formatting, a quick edit: basically, just a quick demonstration of the same sort of posting dexterity she has already demonstrated thus far. Best of all, no identifying information has to be revealed.

I think it would be quite educational, while definitively proving her non-trolldom.

That's a fair request. Let's all do it! You first.

[Do Not Taunt]

Originally Posted by The wind of my soul

This entire post is well-reasoned, and if more facts come out that damn her, I may be inclined to jump on the bandwagon. What I see right now is people calling her a liar because she is a suspiciously fast typist and had some fancy formatting in her latest OP, plus someone under a different username pronounced her dead and people have lied about physical conditions before. By all means, call me out if I've left out something significant.

I am not at ALL saying to blindly trust everything your read on the internet. I'm saying knowing what I know of this situation, I would be a little more hesitant to point fingers than many others seem to be.

The bolded sentence above (my emphasis added) pretty much sums it up, as far as I know.

The theory that umkay is a devotee rather than a quad is plausible, sure, but I hardly think that it's indicative of gullibility to believe it's still more likely that she is who she says she is. Which is where I come down at the moment - the most probable story that fits the facts is that umkay is a quad, notOkay was a troll, they are different people, don't know each other, and umkay is alive.

Adding on preview: I don't think she has to prove anything to us. There just isn't enough evidence that she isn't who she says she is. Also, what storyteller0910 said.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Ambivalid -- what are SCI and DPW?

SCI-spinal cord injury.

DPW-the abbreviation for those who fall under the spectrum of Devotee, Pretender and Wannabe. Of the three, Devotees are the most prevalent; followed by Pretenders and then Wannabees. These are the most extreme of them all; they will actually inflict harm upon themselves (self-mutilate) in order to achieve the disability that they feel they always 'should have had'. Pretenders will, as the name implies, pretend to be disabled and use a wheelchair; sometimes living this way for as long as they can.

[needscoffee]

Wouldn't it be a trivially simple matter for her to send confidential identifying info to a moderator who could then confirm to the board that she is who she says she is?

[Una Persson]

Originally Posted by PandaBear77

FWIW, I ran quite a few of Umkay's posts through the Gender Guesser (to the tune of over 20,000 words). It found her words to be written by a female, although it said "weak female." To be fair, though -- I ran a lot of my posts through the same thing and it also said weak female (and I assure you, I'm ALL female).

That gender guesser is a piece of shit, IMO. I ran posts of several 101% verified XX females through and it said all except one were male, and that one was "weak female."

[Sarabellum1976]

Originally Posted by needscoffee

Wouldn't it be a trivially simple matter for her to send confidential identifying info to a moderator who could then confirm to the board that she is who she says she is?

That won't be happening.

Because she's a liar and a fake.

Simple as that.

[Blackberry]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Wait -- she skydives? (Or did she speak about doing that before her accident? I'm not going through that entire saga again)

Yeah, I believe she said she's gone skydiving. And it was after her accident.

[hajario]

Originally Posted by needscoffee

Wouldn't it be a trivially simple matter for her to send confidential identifying info to a moderator who could then confirm to the board that she is who she says she is?

Yes but why the hell would the moderators even begin to want to get involved in such asinine nonsense? Why would umkay, if real, waste even one second of time on this? What a ridiculous exercise.

[billfish678]

You know what bugs me?

Not the many theories of why Umkay could be a troll (we know notokay was). Some of them are rather insightful and clever and bring up points that never crossed my mind.

What bugs me is all the assholes who are also 100 percent sure they are right (and being god damn turds about it).

If Umkay turns out to be real I'll be reminding some of you assholes about it till the day you or I get banned from here.

[friedo]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

I think there is a perfect solution to quell the doubters and educate everyone at the same time. umkay should have her caretaker take a short video of her computer screen while she composes an SDMB post with her voice control software. Do some special formatting, a quick edit: basically, just a quick demonstration of the same sort of posting dexterity she has already demonstrated thus far. Best of all, no identifying information has to be revealed.

I don't think it's fair to ask someone to do that when you have yet to furnish proof that you are actually a giraffe.

[needscoffee]

Originally Posted by hajario

Yes but why the hell would the moderators even begin to want to get involved in such asinine nonsense?

Because that's one of their main functions, to weed out trolls.

Why would umkay, if real, waste even one second of time on this? What a ridiculous exercise.

Because she knows that NotOkay has caused a lot of people to question what is real and what isn't. It would take a couple of minutes at most for her to do.

[Do Not Taunt]

Originally Posted by needscoffee

Because that's one of their main functions, to weed out trolls.
Because she knows that NotOkay has caused a lot of people to question what is real and what isn't. It would take a couple of minutes at most for her to do.

People post personal, and potentially verifiable, information here all the time. What an absurd precedent this would be, to ask someone to provide evidence they are who they say they are, when there's no real evidence against them. I hope umkay refuses on principle, and if she goes along with the nonsense witch hunt, I hope mods refuse on principle.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by hajario

Why would umkay, if real, waste even one second of time on this? What a ridiculous exercise.

Well, I'm not commenting as to her authenticity here but if she is real and she still wants to continue here at the Dope and be taken seriously, it would make sense for her to take part in such a 'ridiculous exercise'. It's unfortunate but true that it doesn't look like there's much way around it (or some other way of IDing herself) if
she gives a shit whether or not a fair number of members here think she's a fraud. Now I want to be clear that I think such an idea is terrible and ill-conceived BUT is also the only way to erase the doubt now instilled in many members heads.

[Do Not Taunt]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Well, I'm not commenting as to her authenticity here but if she is real and she still wants to continue here at the Dope and be taken seriously, it would make sense for her to take part in such a 'ridiculous exercise'. It's unfortunate but true that it doesn't look like there's much way around it (or some other way of IDing herself) if
she gives a shit whether or not a fair number of members here think she's a fraud.

I disagree. If she wants to continue with her threads and that's it, this might be necessary, though I'd still hope she'd refuse.

If she wants to participate in other, unrelated threads, this is a totally unnecessary exercise. No one's going to keep bringing this shit up in unrelated contexts.

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

SCI-spinal cord injury.

DPW-the abbreviation for those who fall under the spectrum of Devotee, Pretender and Wannabe. Of the three, Devotees are the most prevalent; followed by Pretenders and then Wannabees. These are the most extreme of them all; they will actually inflict harm upon themselves (self-mutilate) in order to achieve the disability that they feel they always 'should have had'. Pretenders will, as the name implies, pretend to be disabled and use a wheelchair; sometimes living this way for as long as they can.

Thanks. Yes, I've heard of "wannabees". There's some creepy motherfuckers out there.

[Bricker]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Wait -- she skydives? (Or did she speak about doing that before her accident? I'm not going through that entire saga again)

Yes. Obviously a lie. it's impossible for a quadriplegic to skydive, after all.

Look what happened to this guy. He died.

Granted it took him 125 jumps, but I think it proves the point quite convincingly that any quadriplegic who claims to have gone skydiving is full of it.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by etv78

I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,"weird".

Well, hell, I can probably find a dozen of those with Google and 5 minutes to search.

Yeah, umkay could be a hoax. She could also be the real deal. I've seen people with SCI skydive with a tandem rig and an able-bodied guide. I've known a quad who worked full time to support himself and was financially well off. People in wheelchairs have sex - a cousin of mine married a quad and between the two of them they had six kids. I had a boss who wasn't paralyzed but had messed-up hands and used dictation software. None of what umkay has posted is beyond possibility.

I've been the object of internet skepticism myself, complete with demands to post pictures and such and you know what? No proof is ever enough. There will always be someone popping up with an "explanation" that requires further proof (that wasn't you in that pic, you hired a stand in, that sort of thing). Meanwhile, with more and more personal information revealed the bullies and vultures can move in for some focused harassment. I can't help but think there are some self-righteous truth-seekers out there so focused on debunking they won't hesitate to level unfounded accusations and make the innocent miserable.

[etv78]

Originally Posted by Bricker

Yes. Obviously a lie. it's impossible for a quadriplegic to skydive, after all.

Look what happened to this guy. He died.

Granted it took him 125 jumps, but I think it proves the point quite convincingly that any quadriplegic who claims to have gone skydiving is full of it.

Unless this a whoosh, I assume she tandem jumped?

[BMalion]

Ok, I will arm-wrestle her if she's real, if I win, she buys the drinks.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Wait -- she skydives? (Or did she speak about doing that before her accident? I'm not going through that entire saga again)

She went "skydiving" in the sense she was strapped to another human being who was doing the actual work during the dive. This may sound outlandish to some, but I have with my own eyes see this sort of thing occur, along with blind people skydiving, amputees skydiving, etc.

Nothing umkay has claimed to have done is impossible for a quad to do, even if some of it is unusual but if she is, indeed, wealthy that would allow her freedom a quad living in poverty just wouldn't have.

[ZipperJJ]

Another angle of the super-knowledgeable troll would be a professional caretaker or a close relative of a quad. Who else would know all of the details of being a quad while at the same time being emotionally drawn to wanting to be fawned over like the patient/relative is? What better way to get a ton of love for someone who is feeling left out?

I don't know if umkay is a troll or not but the poster is dropping a lot of interesting info on us and not asking for anything in return so it doesn't bother me. People fawning over her creeps me out but that's their bag not mine.

[Eliahna]

Why would you start this thread?

Things it won't achieve: making the troll take a good, long look at themselves and resolve to be a better person. Trollie will not sit in their cave thinking "Wow... I hurt actual people with my actions. I never intended to cause anyone pain. What have I done?!"

Things it will achieve: further lulz! Look at the butthurt crybabies! So much payoff for so little effort!

I'd like to introduce you to the acronym "DNFTT" which stands for "Do Not Feed The Trolls". This thread = pure, organic, wholemeal, low-gi troll food with tasty butthurt sauce.

[Muffin]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

No proof is ever enough.

At least now we know that Obama is really umkay, but we still don't know who the hell you are.