If you were arrested for a high-profile crime, what about you would the media have a field day with?

[Silvorange]

Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard

You had me at LARPer.


mmm

I've always said that a LARP would be an excellent place for a mass murder. The screaming, the blood...that's what we do anyway. I don't know how long it would take for somebody to notice that it was real.

[Ranchoth]

Probably all the intricately simulated WMDs I've built [for my flight sim], or the weird fanfic.

...or, really, all the threads I've started on the SDMB. Jeez, looking at them now, even *I'M* creeped out. Y'all really put up with me?

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Has participated in gatherings known as Left Coast Crime. (It's a mystery fan convention.)

[Nava]

Originally Posted by Nawth Chucka

I'll join you in that basket b/c OH LORD so was I.
The media will doubtlessly zero in on my Weird Al collection.

I want my seat facing ahead, please.




Ownership of sharp weapons (kitchen knives; a set of chinese swords which don't pretend to be anything but Made in China, one of which can only be used as a club because the wood sort of inflated during the time I lived 2 blocks from the Delaware; a very small dagger with a very-damaged handle).

Used to belong to the South Florida Renaissance Society.

MMORPGs, Diablo prove violent nature. Civ, Alpha Centauri and so forth would be used as evidence of "plotting to take over the world".

IT person. Everybody knows we're all hackers. Or is it crackers that are the bad ones nowadays? Anyway, bad people.

Ownership of plastic dice which do not have six-and-exactly-six sides. Ownership of several 6d with unusual sides (such as a goblin).

Moves frequently. Rarely stays long in a job. (I'm a consultant)

Chemical Engineer. Yep, I know how to make things go BOOM. In fact, I'd say about half of my college courses were dedicated to "how to do [this] without causing an explosion".

Basque. Well, Navarrese, let's not go into definitions. They'd probably drag out both my Carlista (which would likely be called Fascistas, sigh) and Anarquista ancestors.

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by EmilyG

Schizophrenia, no doubt.

Yes, I've beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent.

I'm not harmful to others. I won't hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else.

Originally Posted by EmilyG

Schizophrenia, no doubt.

Yes, I've beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent.

I'm not harmful to others. I won't hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else.

If the double post was intentional, brilliantly played. If not, well. . .

[Lsura]

Librarian. Quiet, keep to myself. Keep the curtains drawn.

I walk a lot. I can hear the neighbors "we used to see her just walking and walking, all the time. Always alone..."

Most (though not all, thank goodness) of my social interaction is online.

I have a set of Cards Against Humanity.

[StGermain]

Live by myself with a bunch of animals on a farm. Who knows what (or who???) I have stashed away in my wracketty old barn that's not visible from the road...


StG

[Skammer]

I suspect they would make a big deal about my heavy involvement in church leadership, and the bodies buried in the backyard.

[Dung Beetle]

My library book history and my Stephen King collection.

[kmshrader]

Originally Posted by Lsura

I have a set of Cards Against Humanity.

I clicked the link, then found their website. I will very soon (as soon as they're back in stock) have a set of these.

[Anaamika]

Definitely the quiet, keep-to-myself type...I go out of my way to be friendly to the neighbors sometimes, just so at least someone will remember I said hi to them. I also have guns (.22s, but we have a couple of thousand rounds for them) and I play LOTS of video games. One of them is even Call of Duty, but mostly RPGs.

Being with my SO and not being married probably wouldn't help.

Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator

Plus I am a former US Army Paratrooper, so you know that just makes me some kind of highly trained combat expert.

This pretty much goes for all the ex-soldiers out there, and forget it if you were actually something a cut above the average. SCARY!!!

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

and I play LOTS of video games. One of them is even Call of Duty, but mostly RPGs.

You misspelled "murder simulators." And it's a shame they make mice in the exact shape of a pistol. Evidently, there are at least 6.5 million sleeper agents across the US and UK.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Originally Posted by Dallas Jones

I'm that nice, quiet guy who lives next door and never causes any trouble

This, and my drinking, and the violent fiction I've written. And the fact that I listen to metal. And my Magic: The Gathering habit. And my porn collection. And my collection of edged weapons. And the fact that I play Card Against Humanity. And my SDMB posting history.

[Silver Tyger]

Where to begin?

Writing things that glorify criminals - aka, comics.
Mental illness, possibly.
Lives alone.
Regularly goes to a BDSM dungeon.
And then there's my porn collection...

[KRC]

Was a loner in high school. Still is.

Dressed up as a terrorist for Halloween on more than one occasion.

Wrote a comic about a terrorist and has a collection of books on criminals, sociopaths, drug cartels, psychotic mass murdering dictators, and of course terrorists.

Went to see a movie about a terrorist group once.

Has a lot of explosive chemicals in her house, which actually once alarmed a police officer. (But hey, I swear, I'm just an artist, not a terrorist. Really!)

Likes fluffy bunnies, kitties, and cute widdle boidies.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror

You misspelled "murder simulators." And it's a shame they make mice in the exact shape of a pistol. Evidently, there are at least 6.5 million sleeper agents across the US and UK.

Oh I forgot! I have one of the shooter movie games for the Wii with a real (plastic) gun....

[gytalf2000]

There are several aspects of my life that the press would have a field day with :


1) I have a collection of medieval-type weapons -- swords, maces, spears, axes.


2) I have a fairly large comic book collection -- about 70 long boxes worth.
The collection has its own room.


3) I have a large number of books related to the paranormal and the occult.
Magazines, as well, like the Fortean Times, Fate, etc.


4) I have a "Deviant Art" webpage :


http://gytalf2000.deviantart.com/


(Not safe for work)

It is devoted to my sleepy fetish / paraphilia. I like drawing pics of extremely scantily-clad superheroines getting knocked out by various means (punches, blows to the head, chloroform, energy blasts). It isn't presented in a realistic style -- my heroines never have bruises or cuts, etc. -- but most people are still going to see it as a bit creepy.


...


In other words, I am quite deranged, and it is only a matter of time before I snap and go on a violent rampage. It is a wonder that I haven't done so, already...

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

Oh I forgot! I have one of the shooter movie games for the Wii with a real (plastic) gun....

Movie? I meant zombie!

[TriPolar]

Instead of the neighbors saying "He was such a quiet guy, we never would have guessed", they'd say "I knew that guy was nuts! I was waiting for something like this to happen!"

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

Oh I forgot! I have one of the shooter movie games for the Wii with a real (plastic) gun....

Is it one of those were the Wiimote goes at the end of the barrel, and the nunchuck where the trigger housing should be? And you fire the gun by pulling the trigger at the very end of the barrel. Yeah, those are very realistic, and can train you into an Al-Qaeda operative in like, ten minutes playing Link's Crossbow Training.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by twickster

That I served as an SDMB moderator for 3+ years.

Guess I will have finally snapped.

I thought having snapped was a requirement to be a mod.

[KRC]

Oh, I forgot to add that I have some books by "Mr. Crowley" and I listen to both punk and metal, which we know are signs of trouble, and I take antidepressants. Also I once went to church and we know that investigations into violent people show that many of them spent time in churches.

So watch out, as soon as I feed my pets, water the begonias, and dust the end tables, I might get busy with my chainsaw.

[Boyo Jim]

I forgot to add... Both my parents are dead. I am a disturbed orphan. I suppose they would exhume the bodies to find out how disturbed I am.

And if they ever read my posts here... I am on the short bus to "Old Sparky."

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror

Is it one of those were the Wiimote goes at the end of the barrel, and the nunchuck where the trigger housing should be? And you fire the gun by pulling the trigger at the very end of the barrel. Yeah, those are very realistic, and can train you into an Al-Qaeda operative in like, ten minutes playing Link's Crossbow Training.

No nunchuk, but yes, the controller goes right in! It looks kind of like this. I mean, you can't even tell the difference from a real gun!

[thelurkinghorror]

Oh, the one I saw was a rifle assault weapon. It was awkward as hell to shoot with your off hand.

[Ludy]

For about four years I worked for a theatre company that produced only murder mystery plays. Call it research.

[Miss Woodhouse]

There is a photo of me shooting a semi automatic weapon on Facebook. Of course, the fact that I do not own the weapon, have only shot it once for about five minutes, and it's been several years since the picture was taken would not be considered relevant facts by the news media. They would have a field day with that picture.

[BigT]

Probably mental illness, along with my "white knighting" tendencies. Never mind that my illness makes it much less likely I'd ever do anything, even if I wanted to. I'll have snapped because there is "too much evil in the world."

[Curiosity Kills Her]

Liberal, registered Democrat that voted for Obama, and will again. I own more guns (and ammo) than most teabaggers. I have a very eclectic book collection, and if they ever scored my search engine / browser history I'd be immediately convicted by the media. I have a driven and random curiosity that frequently crosses over into the morbid. I just like to know stuff. Even the gnarly bits.

[Brynda]

If you think the headlines would be bad for seeing a psychologist, imagine the headlines for being a psychologist.

[Nawth Chucka]

Originally Posted by Brynda

If you think the headlines would be bad for seeing a psychologist, imagine the headlines for being a psychologist.

'It Was Inevitable Really', Says All Who Knew Her, 'The Surprise Is The Clown Makeup & Live Parrot.'

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Quiet guy, odd sense of humor, foreigner from a violent culture. Few friends, over-educated, odd career path, posts on a message board of similar freaks who likely egged him on. I'm looking at you Clocky.

Originally Posted by Brynda

If you think the headlines would be bad for seeing a psychologist, imagine the headlines for being a psychologist.

Oh, right, and I'm also in an odd loner-type field.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by Brynda

If you think the headlines would be bad for seeing a psychologist, imagine the headlines for being a psychologist.

Is The Rampaging Shrink Proof That All Shrinks Are Nuts? Watch the 90 Minutes special, with guest comentators Chip and Dale!

[echo7tango]

I got kicked out of Disneyland, for hopping off of a slow ride and walking through a dark tunnel. I unknowingly tripped a kill switch and the lights turned on and the ride stopped.

Yep, lock me up.

[Infovore]

Thought of some others they'd undoubtedly latch on to for me:

- My large collection of horror novels
- My collection of Ayn Rand novels and nonfiction
- Seven cats

They might as well just lock me up now!

[gytalf2000]

Originally Posted by gytalf2000

There are several aspects of my life that the press would have a field day with :


1) I have a collection of medieval-type weapons -- swords, maces, spears, axes.


2) I have a fairly large comic book collection -- about 70 long boxes worth.
The collection has its own room.


3) I have a large number of books related to the paranormal and the occult.
Magazines, as well, like the Fortean Times, Fate, etc.


4) I have a "Deviant Art" webpage :


http://gytalf2000.deviantart.com/


(Not safe for work)

It is devoted to my sleepy fetish / paraphilia. I like drawing pics of extremely scantily-clad superheroines getting knocked out by various means (punches, blows to the head, chloroform, energy blasts). It isn't presented in a realistic style -- my heroines never have bruises or cuts, etc. -- but most people are still going to see it as a bit creepy.


...


In other words, I am quite deranged, and it is only a matter of time before I snap and go on a violent rampage. It is a wonder that I haven't done so, already...

But wait, there's more!


1) I grow my pinky fingernails long.


2) I have long hair and a beard.


3) I enjoy talking in various different voices / accents.


4) In Church, I often sing the soprano line with my falsetto voice.


5) In addition to my collection of books about odd phenomena and
the occult, I also have quite a number of books by and about H. P.
Lovecraft and the Cthulhu Mythos.


6) I have Cthulhu plushies on my desk at work.


7) I own several books about swords, bowie knives, tomahawks,
their history and usage. Also DVDs, like this one :


http://www.cutleryshoppe.com/thefigh...wk-dvdset.aspx


...


Well, I'm having fun with all this! I wonder if the Feds are paying attention to this thread?

(Did I mention my delusions of grandeur and paranoia?)

[StusBlues]

Probably my office filled with books about vampires. And the multiple articles I've published about the same.

If what I did was bad enough, they might have a special on "the strange world of Unitarianism".

[KRC]

Hey, it gets even worse. I was just looking at some WWII era cartoons on the internet (another bad sign) and I remembered that I used to Seig Heil during my sleep. I don't know if I was dreaming I was at a Nazi Rally, but once my right arm went up the circulation got cut off so I'd have to wake up to pull the arm back down.

After several nights of endlessly Heiling Hitler I got fed up and strapped my arm to my side with a belt so I could sleep through the night. Take that, Hitler!

Then I went out and bought a bird from Paraguay which goose stepped and Seig Heiled me on the day Mengele's death was confirmed. I let the bird live.

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by KRC

Hey, it gets even worse. I was just looking at some WWII era cartoons on the internet (another bad sign) and I remembered that I used to Seig Heil during my sleep. I don't know if I was dreaming I was at a Nazi Rally, but once my right arm went up the circulation got cut off so I'd have to wake up to pull the arm back down.

After several nights of endlessly Heiling Hitler I got fed up and strapped my arm to my side with a belt so I could sleep through the night. Take that, Hitler!

Then I went out and bought a bird from Paraguay which goose stepped and Seig Heiled me on the day Mengele's death was confirmed. I let the bird live.

Hope you remembered to get out of the wheelchair before bed, Dr. Strangelove.

[Justin_Bailey]

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

My library book history and my Stephen King collection.

The ALA is very serious about privacy. You don't have a library book history, no one does.

[katierw80]

I'm quite shy and introverted, in my early 30's and live with my parents. I'm not the most social person out there. I look very sweet and innocent. I've gone through clinical depression. I'm a Christian and go to church most every week. (Very suspect to some people nowadays even though it's a very normal church!)I'm addicted to reading whumpy fanfiction so my Internet history probably looks a little strange!

[Infovore]

Originally Posted by katierw80

I'm addicted to reading whumpy fanfiction so my Internet history probably looks a little strange!

Okay, I have to ask: what qualifies as "whumpy" fanfiction?

ETA: Oh! I Googled it. I'm in worse trouble than I thought. I write whumpy fanfiction.

[Loach]

Originally Posted by Justin_Bailey

The ALA is very serious about privacy. You don't have a library book history, no one does.

Thats just what they want you to think.

[toofs]

"Wow, you know, toofs was such a friendly neighbor! Now that I've heard the news reports that he had over 23,000 rounds, or was it over 27,000 rounds of ammo in his house? And all those GUNS! Our kids were in danger the whole time and we didn't even know it! The government really needs to do something to protect the children! CNN said he had all this military training and experience, so like, my neighbor was a trained KILLER!

[Dung Beetle]

Originally Posted by Justin_Bailey

The ALA is very serious about privacy. You don't have a library book history, no one does.

So all I have to worry about is my Goodreads list of the last five years.

[Anaamika]

This thread reminds me of this awesome graphic:

How the Media Sees Guns


ETA: Miss Woodhouse reminds me of the time I went to Vegas and went to a shooting gallery so I could shoot an MP5K, an assault rifle, and a shotgun, the types of which I can't remember off-hand. I have pictures of myself looking pleased as punch holding each weapon (also a beretta) and I still have the targets.

"Went to Vegas to practice and train and prepare for the killing"

[Mangetout]

I'm a Sunday School teacher.

[MeanOldLady]

Originally Posted by Dallas Jones

I'm that nice, quiet guy who lives next door and never causes any trouble. Always willing to help out the neighbors, family man, mows his lawn and...

Shit! I should just turn myself in now.

Yeah, pretty much the female, non-family having, apt dwelling version of this. They'd have a field day with how unremarkable I am. "When boring people go nuts."

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror

And of course...

I can't decide if this is terrible or awesome.

Originally Posted by Mangetout

I'm a Sunday School teacher.

Please go on a killing rampage. Think of the headlines!

[faithfool]

I'm a horror movie freak, who is also a pinko leftie. I don't have any children (!) and my mental health issues are well documented. I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but that's the highlights. Oh, and I don't mind Olive Garden. That right there should make me front page news.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by faithfool

...I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but that's the highlights...

You have periodic episodes of amnesia?! Og knows what atrocities you've committed that you can't even remember.